r/ChildrenofDivorce • • Sep 26 '19

Introducing our two new mods!

7 Upvotes

As you may have seen, we have two new mods! u/allreadyit and u/elenamcturtlecow96 are amazing members of this sub who have been with us for every step on our journey, and I'm proud to call them mods here.

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Hmu in modmail if you have any questions.


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 2h ago

I don’t believe in love anymore

2 Upvotes

My parents separated 2 years ago. They didn’t tell me at first, but i noticed it after realizing my dad was living out of his car and when i confronted them they admitted it. It was a major shock because it’s been a huge fear of mine since was a child.

They separated about 1 month after i moved to a new city and started a new job. I was in a long distance relationship at the time but the stress of all these changes caused me to lose my faith in dating and i ended it. i haven’t gotten my faith back since. It’s been nearly 2 years without even trying to date. I want to be myself again, the person who was willing to have relationships. i’m sick of being hopeless


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 30m ago

I'm my parents mistake

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• Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 6h ago

People who have an abusive dad that they were able to escape, help?? Plz?

2 Upvotes

So for context, my parents are now divorced, and the divorce only started 2 years ago (I was 13f at the time and now I’m 15f) and along with being abusive, I think my dad may be bipolar…

So… when I was younger he used to spank me and my brother a lot but he only did he was super mad at my mom or work or smth. One time he slapped my brother so hard it left a bruise the shape of a handprint, he also whipped us with spatulas and belts… along with this, he hit my mom frequently and now I think he hits my stepmom. He claims he’s getting help for it but I don’t believe him. And (yes there’s more…) my brother plays baseball and I play soccer (specifically goalie) and he used to do these things called pressure practices where we got no water during practice and he would throw/kick the ball super hard at us. This happened more with me and I often got hurt because of it. He’s also really mentally abusive, frequently bodyshaming me (even tho I’m literally 5’2” and 140lbs which I think is normal considering I have a ton of muscle…) and he calls me names and puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on me, among other things. I hate his house so much that I basically get panic attacks every week bc of coming over here.

Anyways, idk what to do anymore. I’ve told my school counselor who helped me report it to CPS, I’ve told my mom who knows abt this, I’ve told his parents, I’ve told my friends, my teachers, I’ve tried avoiding his house but he won’t let me, I’ve tried asking him if I can be with my mom more, and I even know how to plan things on his weekend to where I’m only here to sleep and eat atp. I have tried literally e v e r y t h i n g. And yes I’ll be able to drive in a year, I hope that will help, where I live I have a restricted rn for school, work, church and in between houses so that’s nice, and I have a lot of friends at church, I’ve talked to my youthgroup leaders but now I’m stuck.

ig I just don’t know what to do

Also: my dad doesn’t let me have therapy or meds for anxiety and my mom can’t get me those things on her own…

Any advice??


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 13h ago

At what age is a divorce least painful for kids?

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1 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 15h ago

Ex getting married SO fast

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1 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 23h ago

I feel jelouse of people with married parents

4 Upvotes

My parents have been divorced since I was around 7 or 8, in the beginning I wasn't really affected by the divorced because my mom made it clear that my dad cheated on her and was a alcoholic. It wasn't until now that I've started to actually feel upset. When I was younger my parents would fight upto a hour and sometimes I would try to stop their fights, sleep through it, cry, or try to find anything to distract myself. Whenever I go to school I see other people with their married parents and I envy them. I envy the fact that they didn't have to hear their parents argue constantly, didn't have to see the divorce get finalized,didn't have to see their dad passed out on the couch. I hate telling other people that my parents are divorced because i hate getting reminded. My family doesn't feel complete anymore. I still love my mom and dad and my dad still visits he whenever he can but it still can't erase everything that I went through when I was younger. Whenever I have school events i can't help but feel upset when I see my dad and mom sitting far away from each other while every other family have both their parents sitting together. Even hearing about kids having two parents living with them makes me so jealous it sometimes irritates me. I understand that there isn't anything I can do about their divorce, even though it was a long time ago it still hurts a lot thinking about every fight and every time I saw my dad on the couch. I really really really do envy kids with both parents that love eachother and never argue at least not in front of their kids like how mine did.


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 1d ago

Is my newly divorced dad right or wrong?

4 Upvotes

For context , I am 18 , my dad and mom got divorced in May. Since then he’s given her the bare minimum he has to for me and only asks to see me once a week on a Sunday. On a Saturday he goes drinking with his friends. Is this the normal divorced dad life or is he a bit worse?


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 2d ago

Adopté al hijo de mi esposo, y ahora que nos divorciamos, mi ex marido ya no quiere que sea parte de la vida de su hijo.

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1 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 2d ago

I dont know how to feel about my half siblings...

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2 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 3d ago

Dating with teens: If your child takes and loses your partner’s belongings, whose responsibility is it?

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2 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 3d ago

Holidays

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2 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 3d ago

Thoughts on this schedule for kids? Seeking advice from children of divorce.

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2 Upvotes

Amicable divorce, 2 kids, suggestions for schedule?

My ex and I are splitting on good terms (we got married young, grew apart) and have 2 kids, 12 and 15

My ex works and I work part-time and do all the kid stuff, driving to/from school, activities etc, so I spend a lot of time with both kids after school. We’re going to keep this division of labor.

Also, we want to give the kids as much consistency as possible. I’m not moving far, just down the block. But I want to minimize them having to shuttle around too much.

That said, I’m thinking the following might work:

Weekdays-
they stay at their dads (the house they’ve grown up in) but I come over in the morning before school (very easy since my new house is close) then do all the after school stuff. We’ll have family dinner together about 2x a week. I’ll go back to my new house after dinner.

However, I realize this gives me essentially every weeknight off. That would be unfair to their dad. So, whenever their dad wants a weeknight off, I’ll stay at his house and be with the kids

Weekends-
Kids stay at my house. Dad comes over for family time, but goes back to his house. We split up driving for weekend activities.

But this means the kids are with me every weekend night. So, if I’d like a night off, their dad could come over on those nights

This seems realistic, my ex and I have always been good at dividing up our schedule/ alone time. But i also have no idea if this seems sane lol

I’d love any feedback or suggestions, thanks!

And, obviously,I need to know what my ex thinks of this, and how the kids feel. Before we talk, though, I wanted to be prepared with some options.


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 3d ago

I'm going through the worst time of my life

2 Upvotes

I honestly don't know how to start this thread, I just want to talk about it and vent about what's happening to me. I’m sorry if this is a bit long, but I need to vent about what’s happening to me. My parents got divorced a few days ago. My dad had anger and trust issues, I guess, and he would explode into intense rage at times, compounded by other problems from years ago. His last outburst was the worst, he hit me hard (the first time he’s ever hit me), and that was the breaking point for our family. I used to live in Ohio and I loved the people there. I lived there for just over a year, and I loved the people, the school, and the whole state in general. Ohio really was a home to me. Even for such a short time. Literally just days before all this happened, we were finally able to move, and I got my own room, which I needed, with my things and everything. I feel like I was finally really settling in completely in Ohio, and that was the year when everything was finally falling into place, I finished my senior year of middle school and spent about two months of high school there. I had my high school friends and was meeting new people; I really loved it, and high school was a home and a refuge for me. The last week, they said they were going to get a divorce, but in the end they couldn’t because one of them alone couldn’t support my siblings, or something like that from what I managed to hear. My mom never liked Ohio and wanted to go back to Florida, where we used to live she’d even planned to take us to Florida before my dad hit me over the divorce itself. Now I’m in Florida, where I had to leave behind a lot of my stuff, my friends from last year and this year, everything I’d been working toward even the saxophone that was so hard for me to ask my teacher for I had to leave behind and simply start from scratch again. My whole life, I’ve been moving from my home country to another and another and another or maybe within my own country but to different places never able to settle down and start a life for various reasons, obviously, but also because I always had to leave. I didn’t have the best experiences in Florida, and to be honest, I never really liked the state itself. I’m angry at both of them because they were both selfish, and my mother used that situation as an excuse, because it benefits her family-wise and so on. Right now I’m at my uncle’s house and I have to share a room with other people; no one has asked me how I’m doing, and I feel like everyone is too busy to even ask if I’m okay or to talk to me. I hardly ever talk to my mom or my dad, and lately I’ve been isolating myself more and more from people and from my family who have worn me out and left me feeling incredibly angry and betrayed. I’m seeking solace in video games and the virtual world to the point where I hardly ever go out or interact with others. Deep down, I feel like I’m trying to suppress it by not making a big deal out of it, but all of this is tearing me apart inside. I stay up late just to be alone. I feel like life is passing by way too fast, and I need a break. I don’t know how to explain it I’m just shattered, and I can’t find anyone to turn to. I feel incredibly alone. I’m looking for advice from anyone reading this who can give me a hand or anything at all.


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 3d ago

I’m 18 and I found out a horrible family secret and I don’t know how to deal with my family anymore

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1 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 4d ago

Need advice from children of divorce please

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1 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 4d ago

Need advice from children of divorce please

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1 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 4d ago

¿Soy el malo por no querer que mis padres esten juntos denuevo?

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2 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 4d ago

My parents are divorcing and idk what to do

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2 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 5d ago

My dad ripped my family apart and doesn’t care

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2 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 5d ago

My parents are thinking about getting divorced

2 Upvotes

My family is considering divorce, and most of the blame lies with my father. He lost his job a few months ago and hasn't looked for work since. Just when he was about to, he cut his hand and couldn't work. Now, for the last two weeks, he's been drinking every day. When my mother tells him to stop, he says, "Why are you bothering me? There are worse people out there than me." He called his lawyer a few minutes ago (he's drunk now). I don't know, maybe he'll get better tomorrow. It could also be something that happened in a moment of anger. What should I do?


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 6d ago

Father's remarriage

6 Upvotes

Not so much a rant, more like I'm heartbroken for my 28 year old son.

I'll apologize for writing poorly in advance. I just need to get this out of my head.

I'm open to any comments for either my Son or I.

Son met up with his Dad about two weeks ago and was told Dad is getting married (this weekend which is Thanksgiving Weekend) and that Son is not invited. And that there will not be an additional gathering for the holiday.

If I had to guess, my Ex probably would have liked him there but his new wife has appeared to lump her own feelings (of hatred, frustration, ?) of me in with the existence of my Son (based on his casual indifference towards her, this is my assumption). He's a good man and I couldn't imagine him being rude to her in person. He doesn't have a problem asserting himself if needed but he wouldn't want to embarrass anyone (himself included) in public.

My Ex and his new wife were caught cheating (by me). At that time, I told my Ex to just give our son some time to adjust before throwing Son and his GF together but somehow (probably because it was my suggestion) it has turned out that Son could not see his Dad without her there, ever. In order to avoid that, they would just meet up without telling her.

We separated 8 years ago (this month lol) and have been divorced for 4 years.

From day 1, I told my Son his feelings are valid and acknowledged that he should talk to his Dad about what happened. Because people make all kinds of mistakes in life and that just because we do something that a lot ppl don't agree with doesn't mean we should be judged our entire life on those mistakes.

I have also told him that if he intends on keeping his Dad in his life, then he must accept reality and be open to some kind of positive-ish relationship with the new wife.

I think the problem genuinely lies with my Ex and his lack of showing up for our Son. Ex seems to want a relationship with our Son as long as Ex doesn't need to stick up for him.


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 6d ago

Calling all Gray divorce & barely-adult children of divorce. How important is our next home?

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2 Upvotes

r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 6d ago

i feel stupid for letting it upset me.

3 Upvotes

everytime i think about it i cannot hold myself back from crying. i dont understand how this can be so painful, everyone else undermines my feelings and makes it out to be something i just have to accept.
ive spent all my teenage years waiting for the chance theyll get back together or even make some steps towards real communication.

i feel so detached from everything. there is no family and i feel so heartbroken. why cant i get over this?


r/ChildrenofDivorce • • 6d ago

Ceux qui n’ont jamais connu leurs parents ensemble, est-ce que ça vous a manqué en grandissant ?

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2 Upvotes