Help me help my Dad

[u/Sad_Position_553]

Hey everyone, This may be a heavy subject to some, just a warning in regards to alcoholism and depression.

I love my dad. He is smart, patient, kind, loving and always has done his absolute best.

Context:

He worked offshore alot when I was a kid / teen but he always checked up on us ( sister & i ) as a kid. When he was around & able to find a job local to us, we used to spend every weekend together cycling & having campfires / camping.

Things changed once I was 14/15. My relationship w my mother was extremely strained. I come from a mixed culture family & my parents clashed over me alot.

I ended up dropping out of school & working full time at 15, did alot of therapy & was on many medications. i migrated here there everywhere, and my dad always supported me, even if it was in odd ways & though he never really said it, Ive always known he is proud of me & loves me regardless.

Now I need to support him. He lost his job right after covid & was replaced with cheaper foreign talent ( this comes into play after. ) and since then it has been very rough. He played it off as him retiring, but told my sister drunkenly ( whilst i was away ) that he was replaced.

He drinks almost every night. sometimes he is in a good mood, sometimes I would get yelled at( when i returned back to our home country for a while ) , or my sister, or my mum. His relationship with her is not romantic per se but they are still married. He loves her but idk if she loves him. i get on with her now and love her dearly still - but we dont talk abt their relationship. He also has kind of fallen down the red pilled white man pipeline and it is extremely disappointing to see such a vast difference in who he was vs who he currently is portraying himself to be.

Regardless he recently had some money troubles ( although now resolved as his past company did not pay him now fixed ) but he told my sister he was depressed and didnt know what to do.

I live 17 hrs away ( by flight ) from my family. I dont know what to do to help him.

I do occasionally text him but he doesnt really respond. I send him updates, ask how he is etc but usually no reply. sometimes i send him music too cos we used to bond over music but also no response.

I dont know what i can do as his daughter, 17 hrs away, to support him. It kills me because i know who he is at heart away from the alcohol & the sadness he experiences.

I just feel very lost and dont want my dad to feel so alone. i love him very much & miss the man he used to be.

If you have ever experienced this, what helped? how can i help him? All and any advice is appreciated.

Thank you