My sister and I have a fairly strained relationship with our dad. But I thought it was at least ok before this.

My grandpa (dad's dad) called me last week saying he had sent my dad 2k for me for the nonprofit Im starting, as well as Christmas money for me and my sister ($500 each). It took me a few days, but I finally got ahold of my dad. He doesn't live super close. And normally he will send me my sisters money over zelle, and then I'll cash app my sister her portion.

After finally getting ahold of him after a few days and multiple attempts, he sends me 1,500. I ask is this for me and [sister]. He says no, that it's just for me. I message him multiple times trying to confirm the amounts.

Finally I message my grandpa, saying I can't send him a donation acknowledgment form for donating to my nonprofit for an amount I didn't receive, as I obviously don't want to commit tax fraud.

15 minutes later my dad calls me. He says he knows he owes me more money, that he was holding on to part of it in case he needs to go to Canada soon (where my grandpa lives). I reiterate to him that I can't send out documentation stating I received an amount I didn't. That all the sums need to add up in my bank account. He says he'll send me another 500 right then, and then the final 500 next Friday (both of these things he did).

Issue now tho is that my grandpa specifically told me he also sent money for my sister. My sister is my best friend, and we talk every day. So she was fully aware of everything that was going on.

When she hadn't received anything, she called my dad. He said he didn't have it. First he said grandpa didn't send anything for her. *Then* he said that he had sent it to me to help me with rent (we looked at all the deposits from him. He *had* helped me with rent, but that was back in March and I don't see how it has anything to do with this).

My issues here are two fold. First off, taking money from my sister. Shes paying for nursing school outta pocket and has two young children. I know $500 would really help her here.

And then also, him throwing me under the bus like that, making it seem like it was my fault that she wasn't getting her money. When, in actuality, this has nothing to do with me!

So, how do I process this? Do I do anything? Is there even anything to do?

I don’t know how to soften this so I guess I’ll just start telling the story. (Warning for pet loss)

My cat passed away very suddenly last Friday—-she was 7-8, behaving normally, healthy, no reason for concern. I went upstairs for slippers and maybe went to the kitchen for water or smth, then I noticed her on her side in a place she doesn’t usually lay (it honestly looked like she was walking away from her toy box when it happened). I didn’t know she was already gone, brought her to the emergency vet and they said there was little to no chance of bringing her back. I had to tell my sister. My mom was down the shore with a friend for the day. This happened at 11ish in the morning, so I was the only one home for hours (though I was on the phone with my mom, on and off). I’ve gone over that day so many times, and there’s no way she got into anything or got hurt some other way.

Nothing was near her that she could’ve chewed on, no food, no drugs, no vomit or anything, didn’t feel anything caught in her throat/chest, no staggering/limping (she was actually really hyper, which she always was when I was off routine, and I had a surprise class cancelled so she was super playful/running in circles), no heavy breathing, nothing. She was just gone. I asked the vet, they said she was gone by the time I even found her. They said it was either a sudden heart attack/underlying heart issue or a stroke, either way, unpredictable and nothing could’ve been done. I loved her so much and I’m so afraid I hurt her or I was so wrapped up in my phone/day-to-day shit that I didn’t notice something. The image of her face like that is burned on the back of my eyelids. Objectively, I know it’s entirely possible for this to have happened in minutes/seconds, and the vet and my mom (who has had a cat most of her life) have said that there was no way I did. The vet said she didn’t suffer, it would’ve happened quick and she wouldn’t have known.

And what’s messing with me the most is that she was my cat. Like, both cats were “the household’s” but this was my baby. Always near me, screaming when I shut my bedroom door to be let inside, slept on top of me like a baby, instantly purring when she saw me. That was my girl.

Hence why I can’t sleep. She always followed me to bed, and even sat by me when I crashed on the couch. I got her when I was 12-14, I’m 21 now, I’m so used to the feeling of the couch/bed indenting and her purring next to me that I haven’t so much as sat on my own bed in over a week. I sleep on the couch until the first person awake starts making noise, and then I’m up with them, I’ve gone to my mom’s bed a couple times if she falls asleep on the couch/snores here. I’m so used to noise at night that I’ve been obsessively watching YouTube videos until I finally knock out on the couch.

My friend sent flowers and a card. I flipped the card around. We’re keeping the flowers so I don’t have to say I can’t fucking stand them, because it was a very sweet gesture, but I also don’t want to think about it. I don’t look at her pictures or talk about her because it just…I cant do this right now. I have student teaching, I need my brain to work. I lost her on Friday and I had to do my first observation on Monday morning. It went great, but I dread being home now because I see her everywhere. I can’t start because I’ll never stop.

I just keep thinking about this one night where she ran into the back screen door and we thought she’d run away, but she just crouched on our front lawn, crying for us, until my mom brought her back in. I keep imagining her like that, in whatever afterlife. Nobody she was familiar/comfortable with has died, so I keep imagining her just…cold and alone somewhere, crying for someone to bring her back to what she knows and no one is coming. No one she won’t run from. I feel like I can always hear her screaming for me to fix it and I can’t fix it.

We buried her here. Even if we move, she’s only ever known this house. This is her home. She’s in the backyard, right outside my bedroom window.

I just miss when sleeping in my own bed wasn’t a task. I know how immature it sounds, to be 21 and still avoiding the bed like a toddler, but I just can’t.

Sorry, this is probably so incoherent. I’m a wreck and it’s almost midnight, but I just…couldn’t not say it all.

Hi kiddo,

Another weekend! Yay?

I love reading, and I hope to have some reading time this weekend. I enjoy both fiction and non-fiction.

Now, while I learn a lot from fiction, from novels, living a thousand lives, so to say, non-fiction can be very enriching.

Right now, if you would ask me what books I would recommend to grow as a person, to enrich yourself, these would be my recommendations.

• Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Almost crucial, I would say. Any kid growing up and going into relationships can benefit from understanding how we're are wired in what ways - and what type of person we seem to attract, seem to go for. And then, how that attachement type can work or cause friction with ours.

I'm pretty sure you've heard about attachment styles. Still, a great read. And if you don't want to read it, take this home with you at least; your attachment style is moldable, changable.

• Polysecure by Jessica Fern

Attached is very much focused on monogamous relationships. Polysecure's byline is "Attachment, Trauma and Consenual Nonmonogamy." Tremendously useful book. By itself or as a companion book to Attached.

• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson

I would gift every hurt kiddo this book together with Attached. Knowing yourself, your life, what happened, and understanding how it shaped who you are but doesn't shape who you will be; super important.

Knowing those things before you land in a wrong, hurtful, maybe even harmful or dangerous relationship? Crucial.

• Sapiens by Yuval Harari

Yup, yup, the book has received criticism next to its many praises. Fair enough; you can't compress "all" of history into one book and not oversimplify. That said, it's such an enriching read. You'll love the part about social constructs: both exhilarating and kind of scary!

• The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

Almost reluctant to put this on the list because when it comes to talking about how parents mess up, there is too much emphasis on understanding them and their limitations. That aside, this book can be freeing, can give you the freedom to not hold on so tight, not control so tight, let things be as they are, and do your own thing.

Now, these are just a few of my top recommendations. Asking which of my beloved books to recommend is a bit like picking my favorite pet: I love them all!

What's a non-fiction book you've enjoyed, and why?

• Love, Dad

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

-- Carl R. Rogers

23 African female.

I just thought l'd make a post to talk about my nystagmus. I am visually impaired. I have Albinism which is a rare genetic mutation condition and it comes with nystagmus, also known as "dancing eyes". Essentially it causes the eyes to shake involuntarily, They shake back and forth in a horizontal/pendulum position and the shaking can sometimes go unnoticed until our eyes begin to jerk really fast. Albinism does come with vision problems most of the time and it could be very different for anyone but for me overtime my vision worsened significantly so I am not able to drive for this reason, I have a limited and dependent life. I get mixed feelings about my Nystagmus from other Africans, some people think it’s cool and others hate it, I was made fun of as a child and as an adult. The teasing and hurtful words from others makes me self conscious. I am pretty confident regarding my Albinism nobody can hurt me anymore but my nystagmus is one of those things i feel insecure about.

What advice would you give me to love it and not feel insecure? Needing unbiased advice and opinions hence why I didn’t ask my biological dad

It’s been 15 years since you died, and I’ve been with him for almost 10 years. His sense of humor is so much like yours, it’s uncanny. So is his taste in movies and other media. I guess that makes sense because I shared those with you too. He takes care of me in every way and tells me on occasion that he hopes he’s making you proud. I think he is.

We can’t get legally married, due to me being on disability, so we decided after 10 years it was time to celebrate with family. It’s just a simple little thing, literally just going to be my half of the family for this one, which means it’s my sister, mom, and her parents. I can’t even have your parents there because they both died not long after you did. My mom and sister are fantastic, but they’re both in college and dealing with finals and such and don’t have the time or energy right now.

I have basically no friends. That’s not an exaggeration, I literally have two friends that I speak to more than once or twice a year. They’re both long distance. One’s dealing with her own IRL nonsense and can’t afford mental energy to help me plan or really share anything with. The other one hasn’t even acknowledged me telling him I’m finally getting “married”. Because my grandparents can’t travel, we’re going to them for this “ceremony”, which means no local friends either.

I know it’s not a “real” wedding/marriage, but it’s real to me, and I know you’d be so excited that I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with in any form. I know you’d be able to calm mom down and remind her that the details don’t matter better than I can. I know you’d tell me to stop worrying about the dresses so much because I’ll look good in whatever I pick while simultaneously helping me choose.

But honestly, it’s been so long that I can’t remember how you would sound saying those things. The grief and depth of your absence hasn’t felt this large in such a long time, and I think my general loneliness regarding this situation is making it even worse. I’m going to work through it and keep carrying on like you would want me to, but right now it just seems so hard. I miss you so much.

I (20F) enlisted in the Marines recently. I’ll be shipping out in a few months. I want a combat job. I’m a boxer, and chose to enlist because I wanted to serve with pride and honor, and earn the title of a Marine. Boot camp will be tough but I know I’m strong enough to ace it. But life still looks tough. I’ll need to accept that I’ll be putting the country ahead of me, and I must do my best to live up to the uniform. It’s a bit lonely sometimes because all my friends have moved out of town, and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about how I’ve been feeling about enlisting.

I’m 28M, and everyone says your 20s are your prime, but mine have been filled with struggles. Despite earning an advanced degree, I dealt with unemployment, housing instability, and some dark times.

I finally have a job and my own apartment. I’m overweight but actively working on my health both mental and physical.

But God, I’m lonely. I have no close friends, and I spend so many weekends completely alone. I’ve never had a girlfriend. It’s not that I don’t want to date; I’ve genuinely never had a woman want to date me.

I see everyone else finding love, getting married, and enjoying life while I feel left behind.
Sometimes I think, I’m sorry, Dad. I wish I had more to show for my life.
I’m trying to improve, but I’m scared I’ll spend my whole life alone.

Dads, did any of you struggle at my age and eventually find love, friendship, and happiness? Is 28 too late to turn things around?
I could really use some fatherly advice right now.

Hey everyone, This may be a heavy subject to some, just a warning in regards to alcoholism and depression.

I love my dad. He is smart, patient, kind, loving and always has done his absolute best.

Context:

He worked offshore alot when I was a kid / teen but he always checked up on us ( sister & i ) as a kid. When he was around & able to find a job local to us, we used to spend every weekend together cycling & having campfires / camping.

Things changed once I was 14/15. My relationship w my mother was extremely strained. I come from a mixed culture family & my parents clashed over me alot.

I ended up dropping out of school & working full time at 15, did alot of therapy & was on many medications. i migrated here there everywhere, and my dad always supported me, even if it was in odd ways & though he never really said it, Ive always known he is proud of me & loves me regardless.

Now I need to support him. He lost his job right after covid & was replaced with cheaper foreign talent ( this comes into play after. ) and since then it has been very rough. He played it off as him retiring, but told my sister drunkenly ( whilst i was away ) that he was replaced.

He drinks almost every night. sometimes he is in a good mood, sometimes I would get yelled at( when i returned back to our home country for a while ) , or my sister, or my mum. His relationship with her is not romantic per se but they are still married. He loves her but idk if she loves him. i get on with her now and love her dearly still - but we dont talk abt their relationship. He also has kind of fallen down the red pilled white man pipeline and it is extremely disappointing to see such a vast difference in who he was vs who he currently is portraying himself to be.

Regardless he recently had some money troubles ( although now resolved as his past company did not pay him now fixed ) but he told my sister he was depressed and didnt know what to do.

I live 17 hrs away ( by flight ) from my family. I dont know what to do to help him.

I do occasionally text him but he doesnt really respond. I send him updates, ask how he is etc but usually no reply. sometimes i send him music too cos we used to bond over music but also no response.

I dont know what i can do as his daughter, 17 hrs away, to support him. It kills me because i know who he is at heart away from the alcohol & the sadness he experiences.

I just feel very lost and dont want my dad to feel so alone. i love him very much & miss the man he used to be.

If you have ever experienced this, what helped? how can i help him? All and any advice is appreciated.

Thank you

Hey dad, I did it. I moved across the country with the love of my life and our two furbabies. This first month has been hard but amazing. I love the area, I love being able to work from home and I can’t wait to share this with my kids. My partner’s family is wonderful and everything I wish I had growing up.
You know I moved but you still don’t understand why.

I know you miss how close we used to be, but I hate that you always insinuate you don’t know why we aren’t close anymore and then reference my partner.

He is wonderful, amazing, caring, loving, he listens and cares about me at the end of the day, regardless of his wants.

I wish you could accept that we grew apart because I couldn’t keep giving and never receiving. “You have my number” but you have mine too? Your last wife left you but she was my mother, and I got left too.

Your current wife is amazing but her son is a lost cause just for being a teenager and trying drugs and alcohol, but so did I. So did your eldest daughter. Are we both lost causes?

I hate that you’re seemingly excited to see me when I come back for work because I don’t know if I want to see you.

I wish you knew how much the tiniest things mean to me, both good and bad. You called me a bitch for being worried about my nervous nelly of a dog but have a shock collar on yours because you can’t take a single moment to really, properly, just sit down and train her.

I hate that I can’t have these conversations with you anymore because you can’t hear me out without trying to change the story or add in your own narrative.

I hate how cherished my partner’s family makes me feel because it was never me was it?

I don’t know why I’m writing this here, I can’t event text this to you because I don’t want to deal with how it makes you feel.

My music degree didn’t workout, the whole family wanted me to pursue it but I can’t play anymore because of my hand injury. I reconnected with my high school sweetheart and I’m going to go back to what I had planned to do before music, the trades. I got into the foundation electrician program for august and I’m finally turning things around after the last couple of hard years. I lost a lot but I think I’ve finally recovered from my burn out. I’m leaving the city to go to a small town where I’ll be living in a tiny apartment with her, a dog and a cat. I had my interview yesterday at the lumber mill and it went so incredibly well they offered me a job today. I’m a bit worried my body isn’t ready for such a labour intensive job with my knee injuries and well being out of shape from well isolating myself with music over the last several years. It’s finally time to change my path and things are happening so quickly. I might have to move without my pet cat because we might not be able to find a place large enough for him to come too and I’m worried about him in such a small space with 4 other living things. I just don’t know if it’d be okay for him, but I also don’t know if he will be okay without me. he’s been my rock the last few years and I’m really scared to be without him. I got the job but I’m low on money and I’m worried about all my moving expenses now but I really need a change. The city has taken just about everything in me and I don’t think I can live there any longer. I’m worried about the change from being well a pampered musician to blue collar work. I want to do it, and I wanted to do this time of work before but I never did. I’m worried about all of this and how quickly it’s changing. But it’ll be okay right?

Hey everyone, I wanted to give you an update on my post from yesterday.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty defeated. I’m 25, living alone while attending university, and trying to manage rent, credit-card debt, coursework, and the costs of everyday life. I’d been cutting entertainment expenses, and honestly, I was struggling to see much to look forward to.

Well, today something changed.

I received a $2,910 financial aid refund from my university. It was part of my requested student loan funding, and my bank balance is now around $4,775.
That means I have enough to cover my rent through January, keep up with my living expenses, and make meaningful progress on my credit-card debt. I already made a $400 payment towards the card today.

My own dad was relieved when I told him.

I’m not treating this as free money. It’s a student loan, and I know I’ll eventually have to repay it. I’m still budgeting, protecting my rent money, and working towards eliminating my credit-card balance.
But for the first time in weeks, I can breathe.

I went to class today, had a nice conversation with a fellow student, and came home actually looking forward to my Friday evening. College finally feels like college again rather than a constant financial emergency.

I also realised something important: even when I was panicking, I stuck to one rule. Rent money was for rent, and I didn’t touch it. That discipline made today’s situation much easier.

Thank you to everyone who offered encouragement and perspective yesterday. I was in a pretty dark mood, but things are looking much brighter now.
I’m going to enjoy my weekend, get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow, and keep working towards my goals.

19f, i do not have parents to ask and to be fully transparent i’m terrified to drive it since i have ptsd from a car accident and become irrational

how do i check the tire pressure and add air? i’m getting confused by all the guides online since i know nothing about car terminology. and would i know if a tire was going dangerously flat or something was happening while driving that i needed to pull over for?

i don’t know what to do but i feel silly since i know i’m making a big deal out of something small :(

hi dad, as title mentioned. I am frustrated, with myself. I overthink, and get anxious very easily, and it has affected a majority of my life. It's debilitating. Whether it be getting back into driving, or literally just go anywhere else outside of my bubble and comfort zone, the overwhelming sense of anxiety crashes over me, and I can't help but started to be scared. Scared of driving, scared of going some place new, scared of getting into something new.

Example being receiving an invite interview over phone and getting so anxious that I never responded and callback when it could have been an opportunity to be employed. I am tired of this, dad. I am tired of this overwhelming sense of fear. I don't want it to impair my life anymore, as my attention deficit have already contributed to that.

I am getting a doctor's visit soon, maybe I'll ask them for mental health services but gosh, dad, I am so sorry I am like this. I really wish I could be better and just do things straight up.i

Update: I did a solo drive for groceries! Talked to myself the entire way but it was fine.

Hey Dad, Mom passed this morning after being really sick for 36 days in ICU. It was really hard but I made sure her autonomy and dignity were respected and that her voice was heard. But I am really sad, I miss her. I need my mommy and I don't know what to do.

I’m a freshman in college, this is my first semester, I’m terrified that I’m going to fail one of my classes. I have an exam coming up and I didn’t study properly, I’m literally in college and I have no clue how to memorize things properly, I’ve gone to office hours, teaching assistant sessions, I’ve worked so hard but I’m scared that nobody will even notice it. The exam is worth 20% of my grade and my second exam is worth 25%, hopefully I figure it out by then, all that I need is a D- to pass the class. Dad, what happens if you fail a college course? I’m so scared and anxious and I need advice.

Hey Dad, I know this is out of the blue, but the real reason I have today off is pretty awful—I was “forced to take the day off.” I fell and hurt my leg, so I didn’t go to ballet today. I can take one day off, but only one—you know, it’s almost Christmas. Don’t worry, though; nothing’s broken.

Dad, Mom doesn’t contact me anymore. I’m doing terribly. I’m a total wreck. I’ve tried so hard to get my life together, but I can’t afford to see a therapist. I don’t know why I’ve started losing interest in everything. I don’t have a drinking problem, because Mom has been drinking heavily ever since you left. She’s becoming less and less like herself. She gouged up all the walls and doors in the house with shards of glass, and the stair railing is broken too. I haven’t been able to lock my door for about ten years because the doorknob was smashed with a hammer. She never once came to my school. Before I cut her off, she said she wished I’d never been born. It’s okay—I’m not that hurt, because I wish the same thing.

Dad, my leg really hurts. Why did I fall? Because I got distracted on the stairs. I don’t know if you’d think I’m an idiot. I really didn’t mean to. I’ve just been in a really bad place lately. Where I live is so, so cramped, because you come to see me in my dreams. Please don’t feel like it’s too crowded—I’ve tried hard to keep this place clean.

I love you, Dad.

（My birth father told me ）He doesn't know how long I have tried to buy musical instruments, how long I have worked hard, and how long! have persisted to prove that I am worth it. So I really don't know. I feel ashamed to ask him for money. I don't know why I'm such a waste

Hi dad :) More positive post than my usual. I'm 19 and I escaped my abusive parents last year, been living on my own for nearly a year now and I'm doing better. I was never vaccinated when i was a kid or a teenager because my parents are anti-vax but I've spent time unpacking things and doing my own research. It took a minute to get up the courage but I booked the appointment and I had my first shots on Monday this week. My arm hurts but I feel good, little thingss ⭐️💫 It feels like I'm taking my life back into my hands dad, and it feels really good :>

I missed orientation because I was In the hospital and I don’t have a roommate. It’s 2 months into the semester and I only know a few people’s names. Most of their clubs aren’t active anymore or don’t meet that often. The one I joined only meets every other week and everyone shows up with friends they already have and I barely get the chance to get to know anyone. I feel like as soon as I got to campus everyone had their groups and idk what to do.

I’m 25, turning 26 next month, and currently attending university away from home.

Academically, I’m doing well. I have straight As, I’m working towards a career in federal law enforcement, and I’m trying to be responsible with my finances.

But I’ve accumulated credit card debt, and I’ve had to cut most of my entertainment subscriptions, including my cloud gaming service. My laptop can’t run most of the games I actually enjoy.
I know cutting expenses is the right decision. I can’t spend money I don’t have.

The problem is that my college experience has already been pretty lonely. I don’t have much of a social life here, and gaming was one of the things I genuinely looked forward to after studying.

Now my evenings and weekends feel empty. I can write, read, watch films, or play a couple of older games, but I’m struggling to find anything to look forward to.

I spent tonight getting angry about it, but eventually realised that being angry won’t change my bank balance.

I don’t want to abandon my education or make my debt worse. I just don’t want the next several months to consist entirely of studying, boredom, and sleeping.

Dads, how would you approach this? How do you build an enjoyable life when you’re young, broke, living alone, and trying to do the responsible thing?

Hey Dad,

I have the flu & I am in a waitlist for a homeless shelter. I have somewhere to stay in the meantime but it has a time limit. So hopefully I get placed in one of the shelters soon. I am in my last year of collage and it's been hard to keep up with schoolwork. There's a lot of things going on that I don't want to get into but everything has been so stressful and deregulating.

And I'm a complete baby when I'm sick haha

❤️✨

I know we haven’t talked in five years, but you’re still important to me. I miss you. Given recent events, I feel like I’m losing you. Please come back. I just want to hang out and listen to music with you again. I hope you wake up from what seems to be a nightmare.

i broke up with my boyfriend because it wasn’t healthy for me. i loved him so much but i have severe commitment issues. i often go through the cycle of wanting to leave then being obsessed over and over. i decided it would be healthy to stop it.

we technically weren’t even together but it went on for five months of us acting like a couple and me not committing. he loved me so much.

i’m trying to sleep but i can’t. it would make me so anxious to sleep some night because it felt like he was gone because he wasn’t right next to me. now i don’t have him at all. i know going back isn’t right but this is so hard. i need you dad.

I'm a 3rd year in college and I work at my school as a Resident Advisor, or RA. Basically the person you go too if there's an issue on the floor or with your roommate and stuff. It's a very social job and I'm not a social person, I hate being this viable to everyone and try to save as much peace for me as I can. But recently that's been getting me in trouble and I can't take it anymore. Basically my manager was saying that residents have been emailing saying that they don't know who I am and that's gotten around to the leadership committee and now i have an initial warning on their punishment system, which is the second step in their 6-ish part punishment system and it ends with you getting fired. I'm not trying to deliberately avoid people, but I need my space, and this semester I'm bombarded with everything going on and to keep getting in trouble and getting this upset over a job I don't even want is hitting me hard. The only reason I have this job is because I need the money. It covers costs for room and board plus a meal plan for my college and I go to a fairly expensive college (even tho nowadays they all are). But yeah, I'm only doing it for the money but I've started to realize it's just not worth it anymore. The amount of stress and anxiety I'm experiencing is just too much.

I've thought about quitting and I did the research and I can't. My college can't guarantee hosing if I give up my current RA room so I'm stuck. I've talked to my manager about how I feel and he seems to understand that I know what's going on and we worked out a plan to try. Today I cried in his office and I've never felt more stupid in my life, he kept asking about why I'm stressed and I mentioned my mom and how she doesn't believe in me and when I tried to tell her all this she got mad and kept saying I'm being a baby and the year will end before I know it and it's not that bad and bullshit like that. And she's always made it clear she doesn't believe in me, she thinks my major (animation) is stupid and has basically said "I'm only letting you go to this school because my father has an engineering degree and he wasn't able to find stable jobs" and she's also basically said that the only reason I can go to this school is because I agreed to be an RA. And no matter how miserable I tell her I am, she doesn't care, she had it worse, I need to suck it up and push through.

I cried today in front of my boss.

It's far past the point of "pushing through". But I can't quit. I can't find housing elsewhere because it's too big a gamble to give it up, and even if I could quit my mother would kill me and never let me hear the end of it. She would literally be the most pissed off I've ever seen, and she would hang it over my head for the rest of my life as an example of why I'm not good enough.

I don't know what to do. I hate everything about this situation, but I'm genuinely stuck, there is nothing I can do.

What do I do?