AITAH for doubting my BF?

[u/SparePristine1127]

Hi! This is my first Reddit post, but I need to vent because these past two weeks have felt like a Mexican telenovela.
In December 2025, I (F24) met a guy (M22) in Mexico while visiting family. We hit it off immediately and fell in love quickly. He was incredibly sweet, and since he was my first relationship, I was excited. I live in the US, so we agreed to a long-distance relationship.
He worked 12-hour shifts four days a week, while I worked full-time as a teacher and pursued my master's degree. Initially, he called whenever he could. We were smitten and within weeks, he was talking about marriage. We even discussed getting engaged in July or December. Gradually, things changed. He started making comments he claimed were jokes, like saying he liked goth girls and showing me videos of women who did OF. He also talked about missing his ex, reposted videos about her, and said he'd get back with his favorite ex if she returned. He dismissed my concerns, saying it was all jokes. These comments hurt and made me question whether I was enough for him. Our communication declined. He took hours to respond, rarely said good morning or good night despite my asking, and often ignored my messages. Our calls sometimes felt forced, and he'd dismiss my concerns by reminding me he was busy. Meanwhile, I'd stay awake until 2–3 AM to talk to him before waking up at 6 AM. He also joked about my appearance, insisting they were just jokes. He often said he liked our relationship because he could tell me things without me getting upset. I trusted him completely, never questioned where he went or who he was with, and even lent him money. In July, I visited Mexico, and he drove four hours to see me. He stayed for about a week and a half, and I lost my virginity to him. I paid for most dates because he was struggling financially. Despite our limited time together, he'd sometimes spend entire days with friends, leaving me with only a few texts. After we slept together, he dropped me off, said he was tired, and I didn't see or hear from him for two days. Some days, I only saw him for two hours, and he sometimes seemed bored and wanted to go home. I never complained. Afterward, I invited him on a family cabin trip and lent him money to attend. We discussed marrying in December. His family was happy, but mine advised caution. I ignored their concerns because I loved him. When I returned to the US in August, I learned my salary would be reduced because of school budget cuts. He initially supported me, but soon began distancing himself. Our conversations became less frequent, and he started going on weekend drinking benders. I trusted him and encouraged him to go out because I knew he was stressed. Throughout September, I felt increasingly anxious. Whenever I asked if we were okay, he'd say yes and continue insisting he wanted to marry me. In early October, he repeatedly said he was too tired to call. Feeling hurt, I contacted his friend, who worked with him and had become my friend, to ask if everything was okay. I mentioned that my boyfriend owed me money and admitted I felt he didn't love me anymore. His friend told me my boyfriend was talking to other girls and was only with me for immigration papers. He claimed my boyfriend's sweet words were manipulation and that he planned to visit another girl while living in the US with me. I was devastated and wanted to ask my boyfriend directly, but his friend warned me not to because it would ruin their friendship. I made a mistake: I sent messages to myself accusing my boyfriend of cheating so I could use them to confront him. When I asked him to swear the accusations weren't true, he became furious, broke up with me, refused to discuss it, and blocked me everywhere. He also brought up an incident from the previous month when I'd texted his grandmother to ask if he was ok after a drinking binge that kept him out until morning. He said this proved I was controlling. Heartbroken, I called his mother, who had always been kind to me, and explained everything. She was supportive. Over the next days, his friend continued insisting the cheating was real. He claimed my ex had mentioned other girls while we were dating and was excited about a new girl from work whom he planned to ask out. He even sent a screenshot of my ex asking him to contact a company about organizing a big event to ask a girl out. That night, I decided to move on. The next day, my ex texted asking if I was okay and offered to end things peacefully so we could remain friends. Meanwhile, his friend told me my ex only wanted friendship because he already had a new girl. I finally told my ex and his mother the truth: his best friend had accused him of cheating, and I'd sent myself those messages because I didn't know how to confront him. His friend began threatening me and my ex became furious. He accused me of doubting him and choosing his friend over him. He claimed his friend had lied out of envy and said he wanted nothing more to do with me. I begged him to reconsider, but he insisted I'd ruined our relationship by believing his best friend. He hung up and blocked me again.Two days later, he called to wish me a happy birthday. I tried explaining my side, but he wouldn't listen. He said there was no longer an "us." I acknowledged that he was hurt by my doubts, but I wanted him to understand how confusing and heartbreaking it had been for me. He said he didn't want to understand. We agreed to drift apart and see what happened in the future. As we said goodbye, I told him, "I love you." After a moment of silence, he replied, "I can't respond to you the way you want because I don't feel that way." He hung up and blocked me. Now I'm lost, confused, and blaming myself. I know sending those messages was wrong, and I regret how I handled everything. But I don't understand why his best friend would lie about something so serious, especially when he provided screenshots and repeatedly insisted the cheating was real.