r/FTMventing • u/brine-deep • 2d ago

Mental Health embarrassment

i feel like no one talks about how embarrassing and shameful it is to be trans. i hear a lot about how scary and hard it is, and i agree, it is, but i feel shame and embarrassment more than i do fear.

i used to love going out but now i feel like everyone is looking at me and knows what i am. and i feel so ashamed to be what i am. i know that no one is really looking at me like that but its just hard to really believe that.

I always feel this anxious and almost vomit-inducing sense of "fear" or I space out when I'm in public with anyone, even my family. even if I want to go somewhere I always say no or have to force myself to go.

I just don't want to be this and I hate that I am. idk if I sound stupid but I just feel...idk out of place?

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u/teal_liketheduck He/Him 2d ago

I felt this so hard my first couple years into transitioning. It felt like everyone thought less of me. Every time I got shoulder checked or some guy made eye contact with me I felt sick. I felt ashamed to be next to my little brother because he was everything I wasn't. I really hope it gets better for you like it has for me very recently, because I know exactly what you mean.