I'm literally the only person I know IRL thats struggling with this loneliness stuff so much. Granted, I don't know a lot of people but it got me thinking... am I just a total weirdo? Or are there more like us, but they just put an act on in public (as I do)?

Like I genuinely don't see other losers like me on the streets. I don't see friendless, kissless, ugly unlovable people on the streets, and then you have me. I probably stand out a lot. But why do I feel so invisible if I stand out? Why doesn't anyone want to get to know me? Do they just have a radar that says "stay the fuck away from this guy!!!!"? What have I done wrong to not deserve love and friends? I have good social skills too, you just gotta talk to me first...and it seems like nobody wants to be the one to initiate the talking. Why do I always have to be the one? Fuck this rotten world..

Felt like venting, I'm sure most of you can relate.

this might be a terrible place to ask this but i’m gonna take a shot and hope for the best 😢

ok im 20f and im like ugly as shit highkey. i asked for dating advice in a bigger sub bc im trying to find my first ever boyfriend.

but the vast majority of the comments were just “have you tried losing weight, doing your makeup, and showering” (duh i already do that, and i’m not overweight. even if i was that has nothing to do with me being ugly and overweight has never meant unattractive lmao) and toxic positivity.

i’m so tired of being alone. yes i have friends but tbh very few. but i like it that way. i want a boyfriend and i know i’d make a great girlfriend i just have NO idea how to go abt dating. i dont have nerdy interests so i can’t play the long game at dnd or anime clubs. im, again, ugly so dating apps, bars, and clubs feel like a humiliation ritual too.

i’ve tried dating on reddit (ik 😢) but guys either end up being way too far, way too old for me, or way too creepy. likeee ugh i just want a boyfriend i can bake brownies for and do mundane things with like playing sea of thieves.

oh and it doesn’t help at ALL that i have a type unfortunately bc that makes me even more shy to screw up. i really like bigger/husky funny awkward guys. like double my size bigger (i’m on the much smaller side. i look like a 13 yr old boy and i hate it).

does anyone have any suggestions on where and how to meet a bigger volume/more aligned guys who either a) wouldn’t mind that i’m ugly and still cherish me or b) god forbid…acc find me attractive?

my social ineptitude permeates into my entire life and has undoubtedly cost me countless potential friendships, relationships, job opportunities, you name it. it hurts especially bad thinking about how much richer my life would be if I was just wired normally. as of right now I’m in college and have 0 friends, have never had any of the quintessential college experiences, have never done anything of note with my life. I’ve gone weeks without speaking to people outside of family/work; lonely isn’t even the right word to describe this. I am completely alone and don’t have the tools to fix it.

i always used to be insecure about being ugly, now i just wish someone told teenage/preteen me to stop obsessing over my looks. i think being neurodivergent is legit worse than being ugly, though they both suck. But at least if you’re ugly you can always just look better - I would easily take a massive ding to my looks with no hesitation if it meant i could have a normal social life.

I am currently obtaining my doctoral degree and I’ve never been more single. I just want to get together and just do certain couple things, and not let things progress. I want to connect with someone who’s also at the same level but it’s hard.

Love is a need. 95% of the catalogue of media - music, films, books throughout history- involve love in some way or another.

Love is a need. You cannot stay well and healthy and be unloved your whole life. You cannot think. It becomes a preoccupation. You need intimacy and love.

I've heavily romanticized the idea of a fulfilling love life since I was young. I was always so enthralled and enthusiastic when I was a kid and teen, with thoughts of a beautiful, fun life with someone I could genuinely be happy with all the time. Not many days went by where I wasn't daydreaming about these things...

But it just seems like once I hit adulthood... it was over. I messed up so much in my life that it feels like there's no way to recover, and it's my fault. I really did a number on myself, not to mention I have horrible OCD and I'm quite an odd guy... so... that doesn't help me much.

Trying to catch up now, with the standards changing so drastically from teenage years to adulthood, really seems unlikely for me. And honestly... I just don't think I can.

I don't have a career or much going on, and I'm 25 with no dating or relationship experience. I've had plenty of sexual encounters, which have all left me feeling empty inside, to the point that I don't even enjoy sex anymore and honestly I don't want it. It feels so soulless and meaningless.

I tried my hardest to get a girlfriend, I really did... I mean, years of fixing myself: dating apps, trying to be more social and talk to people, which is quite hard for me... Nothing worked. Just no attention at all, no interest, just very draining. My confidence was shattered and I felt so invisible. It was incredibly frustrating.

So... I did possibly the worst thing, and it's brought me a lifestyle that's cut my stress in half and left me in an endless state of cope.

I gave up.

Around... I'd say 24 and a half, I found myself avoiding women in general in real life, not as much online. I don't talk to them, I try not to be around them at all, I hardly look at them. Because I'm allowed to do that. It makes me feel less hurt about feeling like an outcast, and about my insecurities and mistakes. I don't try to pursue love anymore. When I did, it was a failure that came over and over again, not that there were many options to begin with.

And people tell me, "Well, you're being dramatic," or "That's not the right way to go about this"... but I've never been less stressed out. It has nothing to do with being morally correct, and nothing to do with it being the correct decision. This decision is what has helped me with depression and anxiety about failing and feeling left behind. I no longer have to worry about fitting the criteria of what makes someone worthy. I'm me, and I'm the only one who matters to me anymore.

I wish it were different. If I could snap my fingers and be a better man who fit the mold, who was charming and handsome and could be the spoiling, gracious man tomorrow... I would. But reality is different from what I wish it were.

I feel as if it's over. People tell me 25 is young, this and that, but they haven't lived my failure and don't know my stress. I'm tired of it. I do not wish to endure it any longer. I am unwanted. I've made my bed and I must lie in it. Battling tooth and nail mentally for a stranger who may or may not want me... I just can't do it anymore.

The right thing to do is to toughen up and keep trying..I always aimed to try to achieve happiness , and all ive been for the last decade is sad, and depressed. I just can't keep doing the correct thing anymore.

I'm 21M and I've never been in a relationship. At this point, I honestly struggle to even imagine what it would be like to be with someone. I know people say I'm still young, but the whole concept feels completely out of reach for me.

Being neurodivergent has always made this stuff infinitely harder for me. It’s not like I never tried anything. But almost every time, things just fizzled out or fell apart before they even truly started, which only reinforces this feeling of hopelessness.

I'm fulfilled in everything, I have a degree, I have a good job, I don't depend on anyone, I go to the gym, I'm in good shape, I have everything I'd like to buy, the other things will come with time, like an apartment and a car, so I'm not unhappy about that. I already have all the focus on myself, unlike many, why does my time never come? Sometimes I think I'll be alone forever, every woman who comes into my life disappears just as easily. I feel alone.

This is a crushing realization I unfortunately went through recently. We both met in professional school. I didn't feel much attraction towards her at first. This gave me confidence I otherwise would not have had around women I find attractive. Over the last 2 months, as I learned more about her, the attraction grew. She was one of the few people I could be vulnerable with and share anything with.

She expressed her feelings 2 weeks ago. She found me attractive, admires my maturity, and said that I was the best man she has ever met. For the first time in my life, I felt the stars aligned; I finally had my feelings reciprocated, but the universe had other plans. This was it. This was going to be my first ever relationship at the age of 25 (26 very soon). She found all of these qualities she was looking for in a man, yet she still didn't want to choose me for whatever reason. This is what hurts the most. Admitting feelings for each other while the other person doesn't want to act on them.

She didn't want to risk losing such a good friend, and in another life, things would have worked out, in her words. We no longer talk much, so we both lost in the end. I guess the friendship didn't mean much to her. This has affected my relationship with my other friends since we are in the same friend group, and it has made group gatherings awkward.

I believe some of us are just destined to be alone forever, and I happen to be one of them. I've used this last week to come to terms with my loneliness. I wasted half of my 20s chasing women and friends. I'm going to start doing things for myself for once in my life and pick up hobbies I should have done in my early 20s.

So yes, don't get your hopes up, even if they express their feelings. You might be devastated just like me.

I've been feeling sad lately because my best online friend of 8 years has been bullying me a lot and telling me that we were never friends and I'm just a means for her to feel superior to someone inferior like me, and so I've been looking for IRL friends now. I was at a fast food restaurant and some very kind lady was talking to some stranger because he had no friends, but I was too afraid to join in the conversation myself because I'm afraid of people, and I have trouble approaching people and talking to them, and I started to feel sad because I felt like I couldn't join in their conversation because I was too afraid to talk to them irl, and then she left and came back this time with her service animal, and I'm afraid of animals too so when it approached me I fell out of my chair and scratched my leg on the way down because I was trying to move away, and then she started saying, "I'm so sorry he won't hurt you he won't hurt you" and I got up with all my food and I threw it all out and she kept saying "You don't have to leave" but i was too embarrassed at that point and I left and started crying.

Ever since I became a adult i’ve noticed fat people always calling me skinny or a skeleton and acting like they’re some tough muscular guy when in reality they’re just big cuz they’re fat. I don’t know why people care so much that i’m skinny. Back then people only cared if you were fat but it seems like respecting people started normalizing respecting fat people to their face now so people started insulting skinny guys instead. But don’t get me wrong muscular guys call me skinny too but it’s mainly the fat ones all the time.

That’s it. There is nothing more to say. I’m tired of my life, of myself, of everything in this world.

Was just skimming through a post where there was a thread where people were talking about how those who want a community for people who are truly isolated should go here instead.

I mean I knew this already, that r/lonely is a subreddit for the concept of loneliness and it can take many forms, but it just feels ironic in a way that some people on that sub are directed to here, lol. Like being exiled.

So I am a college student and I feel like there’s a time and a place for every damn thing socializing included. People tryna pressure me into making friends in college, which I don’t give a fuck about. Yes I’m lonely all the fucking time but college is not a fucking place for making friends. Let’s be real for just a second. You don’t get a degree for being the most sociable person. However, you do get one for studying and actually giving a damn about your education. If you really want to socialize that bad, go to a nightclub or a coffee shop or some shit like that.

My cousins set me up on a date. Details are on the previous post.

Not even an hour after making this post. My cousins inform me that the woman said she had to work all day tomorrow and that she wasn’t going to be able to come. I still agreed to go with them. Because they’re fun to hang around with. We’re just going to go around the town. No more pool party.

Although tbh I have a feeling they were lying to me and just saying this to get me to believe I could get a woman. Or maybe the truth is that the woman they set me up with didn’t actually like me but they needed to come up with a different excuse so I won’t feel bad about myself.

I don’t know. All I know is that destiny is always there to remind me that I will die alone without ever getting to experience any of the milestones that people normally experience.

Why do I even bother? I should’ve known it was too good to be true.

has someone said this already? maybe, but i feel like it just needs to be stated regardless. once you leave high school, and start experiencing the real world, it's genuinely next to impossible ESPECIALLY if you're neurodivergent. and nobody is doing a long distance relationship. so we're genuinely just fucked.

25M here. Am I the only one here who watches (and suffers, of course) romance anime? I know they sadden me or make me cry but that's the closest thing I have to a relationship even if I'm not one of the main characters. I just wish I could be an anime character and be loved the way I am. I'm sick of going to the gym and putting myself out there while still getting ZERO results.

I am terrified of rejection because I hate being at somebody else’s mercy emotionally speaking. Rejection feels like I’m having my throat slit, figuratively speaking. I’m not depressed or anything. I’m fairly happy. However, I feel fucking horrible when somebody is even slightly mean to me. Not just talking about dating, I mean in general. Like if somebody even takes a slight dig at me, I think about that shit for a few days at least. I’m very easy to upset even if I will never show it publicly

How about you lot? Any of you relate?

I was shopping and went to the restroom. There was a note taped to the wall by the sink:

In case you haven’t heard it, remember that you are loved.

I had a good laugh.

For me, I'm lucky if it's a minute long. For the most part, it's 15 - 30 seconds. They say their bit and they immediately move on. All my efforts to continue the conversation fail.

Like how am I supposed to get to know anyone when they won't give me a chance to even converse? Why isn't there more discussion on this? Why is the presumption that it's all about the male's socializing skills and nothing about a female's willingness to even talk?

Guys were so horrible to me as a teen as well. Girls were mean, but guys always had to make it known how unattractive they found me. Even out in public, stupid schoolboys would laugh and comment on my looks with their friends. Even now, as an adult, I feel uneasy around young men or groups of men.

As adults, I find it ironic that some of those boys grow up to be FA, in*ls, or find it hard to get a girlfriend, but want us to feel sorry for them and the male loneliness epidemic.

I pose a question to all of us: What would you do if you found a significant other?

I'll provide a small example with my own answer to the question:

I meet a girl who is also saving her virginity for marriage, then we try to build a mutually beneficial relationship towards the goal of marriage as partners or as equals.

Things like talking and listening to each other, enjoying our time with one another in each of our interests even if she or I do not particularly enjoy that interest, building trust, making plans to deal with recovering when times are harsh.

What would yours be?

So I have been going for walks in the evening lately. And I see people hanging out with their friends. Going in restaurants with their friends or family. Being social. Living their lives and so on.

And then there is me. 28m. Single. Feeling like shit and anxious every day due to ptsd. Having barely enough energy to leave my house.

Online I see so many people struggling with mental health but If I go outside it's like I'm the only fcked up person. Everyone is more confident, more social, more healthy in general. Jesus, even Teenagers have more going on in their lives than me.

I don't know if becoming healthy is part of my destiny. I will probably die miserable. But whatever.

You guys doing something in your freetime? Like going for walks or do you stay at home?