I lost my future overnight

[u/Dandanaynay]

At the age of 37 I got engaged to the love of my life. He was kind, patient, reassuring my biggest fan and my best friend.
We met 7 years ago due to a glitch on tinder, we both set the app on local and yet we somehow matched.
At first we remained friends since non of us wanted a long distance relationship but over time we decided to try it.
We lived thousands km away from each other. It was very tough, we tried to meet at least three-four times either visiting each other or meeting on a midway country.
Eventually he finally managed to visit me first and a year later I visited him and we lived together for half a year when by the end of the visit he proposed to me and promised that it would be the last time we’re going to separate.
That was back in May this year.
Since then we were preparing to get married and planning on moving in together and have kids which in turn prompted us to do thorough health check since we’re in our late 30’s which at the moment I’m almost done with.
We video chat everyday and for the past two weeks he was having health issues, mostly with breathing and almost fainting. Last time we chatted I was insisting that he change the healthcare provider and get checked again, he assured me that he was fine and will take care of it.
Yesterday he was gone from a heart attack on the night of 20-21st of August leaving me with empty promises and all by myself.
He never smoked, rarely drank alcohol and was consistently going to the gym to lose weight.
He was my best friend and I don’t even know if anyone would love me like he did. I’m so lost.

I am with my family, my friends and his are messaging me so I’m not alone. It’s even more crushing that we had so little time together.

Chocolate, cold cuts, cheese, mango and blueberries and the keyboard he got me.

[u/Artistic-Salary1738]

I’m so sorry for your loss!

PSA to everyone that just cause you’re young and make healthy life choices doesn’t mean you can get heart disease. I knew a guy who had a heart attack in the middle of his weekly soccer game in his 40s. He did make it, but it’s just scary and hoping no one else has to go through what OP did.

[u/Ornery-Atmosphere930 → u/Artistic-Salary1738]

I’m chronically ill/disabled (but I work full time and look fine so it’s not obvious). People love to believe that they can control their health by doing the “right” things. It’s true that you can control some aspects of your health to an extent, but most of it is a crapshoot. Anyone can become ill or disabled at any time. Calling the “right” things the “right things” and similar lines of thinking and conversation turn health into a measure of morality when it’s not. This isn’t a judgement of OP or of you-just a general PSA/commentary on how chronically ill and disabled people are constantly judged for their choices. In the end, it harms everyone. Wishing OP peace and healing.

[u/Electrical-Arrival57 → u/Ornery-Atmosphere930]

This is an excellent comment. Thank you for pointing this out. I used to work with a psychiatrist who liked to say that some people were just “born with bad brains” - not anyone’s fault, not anything that someone could have prevented, just the short end of the genetic stick. Ironically and sadly, that same doctor passed away completely unexpectedly of an aortic aneurysm at 47 years old. The judging of the ill/disabled is a very distasteful aspect of our current cultural attitude, especially when paired with threats to remove what little support many of them have because they’re “too entitled.”

[u/Ornery-Atmosphere930 → u/[deleted]]

I hear you. I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was in a hostile working environment. I got out and the depression went away. The anxiety held over. Then I found out my brain is herniating out of my skull and when I got effective treatment my anxiety evaporated. So it can go a lot of ways, I guess.

[u/KlutzyBus7652 → u/Ornery-Atmosphere930]

Glad you’re okay now and the treatment was effective