r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Dandanaynay Onigirlie 🍙 • Aug 22 '26
Trigger Warning ⚠️ I lost my future overnight
At the age of 37 I got engaged to the love of my life. He was kind, patient, reassuring my biggest fan and my best friend.
We met 7 years ago due to a glitch on tinder, we both set the app on local and yet we somehow matched.
At first we remained friends since non of us wanted a long distance relationship but over time we decided to try it.
We lived thousands km away from each other. It was very tough, we tried to meet at least three-four times either visiting each other or meeting on a midway country.
Eventually he finally managed to visit me first and a year later I visited him and we lived together for half a year when by the end of the visit he proposed to me and promised that it would be the last time we’re going to separate.
That was back in May this year.
Since then we were preparing to get married and planning on moving in together and have kids which in turn prompted us to do thorough health check since we’re in our late 30’s which at the moment I’m almost done with.
We video chat everyday and for the past two weeks he was having health issues, mostly with breathing and almost fainting. Last time we chatted I was insisting that he change the healthcare provider and get checked again, he assured me that he was fine and will take care of it.
Yesterday he was gone from a heart attack on the night of 20-21st of August leaving me with empty promises and all by myself.
He never smoked, rarely drank alcohol and was consistently going to the gym to lose weight.
He was my best friend and I don’t even know if anyone would love me like he did. I’m so lost.
I am with my family, my friends and his are messaging me so I’m not alone. It’s even more crushing that we had so little time together.
Chocolate, cold cuts, cheese, mango and blueberries and the keyboard he got me.
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u/Artistic-Salary1738 Carb-Based Life Form Aug 22 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss!
PSA to everyone that just cause you’re young and make healthy life choices doesn’t mean you can get heart disease. I knew a guy who had a heart attack in the middle of his weekly soccer game in his 40s. He did make it, but it’s just scary and hoping no one else has to go through what OP did.
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u/colorkiller what that mouth do is snack Aug 22 '26
get yearly physicals and get eye exams!! if you have a good optometrist they can see your heart health based on your eyes!
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u/notafrumpy_housewife FREE MOM HUGS Aug 22 '26
Dental checkups, too! Gum disease is linked to heart health and possibly even some types of cancer.
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u/Layla_Vos APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
my father got a type of sepsis with a high risk of heart attack via infection in the gums! Take care of your teeth people!!
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u/Any-Assistance8169 BRB 🎮 FOOD Aug 22 '26
My dentist was the first person that said I should get checked out by a doctor since my gum health had deteriorated since my last 6 month cleaning. The doctor found really bad anemia (I just thought it was laziness and/or depression) - which led to my cancer diagnosis.
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u/Redaktorinke FREE MOM HUGS Aug 22 '26
My dentist noticed my mast cell disease. My mouth is a fucking mess when I'm not taking lots of antihistamines.
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u/lochnessx girls just wanna have pho Aug 23 '26
Mine clocked an autoimmune issue that my doctors aren’t acknowledging. I have a positive ANA and that’s just… normal? To my doctors? I have a ton of mouth sloughing and that was their immediate first thought, was that this is a real issue. It was super validating.
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u/justasque APPROVED✨ Aug 23 '26
A friend has an autoimmune skin condition. His dermatologist figured it out after a biopsy (after other treatments weren’t helping). But his dentist also saw signs of an issue (sloughing, etc) and referred my friend to a specialist dentist, who also did testing that confirmed that the dental issues were from the same autoimmune condition as the skin issues. He’s since had some other issues that might be related (diverticular bleed, and possibly some nasal issues). Bulbous pemphigoid is the condition; apparently it’s relatively rare. The specialist dentist said there were several autoimmune conditions that could cause similar symptoms. My friend is lucky to live near a city with some excellent medical facilities, otherwise I doubt either of the docs would have dug deep enough to figure out his condition. Message me if this might be your issue and you have questions.
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u/Typical_Kitchen_9616 we listen and we only judge a little Aug 22 '26
Dentists tend to be among the first to catch things. It may be because they see patients more often because patients are less likely to put off dental care than regular medical care?
But it may also be because they generally see things that are changing earlier because they are looking in the mouth and throat and heads of their patients.
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u/Brief_Isopod_5959 Body By Cheese 🧀 Aug 26 '26
True but I also think people forget how important your teeth are when it comes to how well your body is doing too. Your gums are connected to your whole entire blood stream. GO TO THE DENTIST, FRIENDS!
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u/Extension_Swimming_9 mouth full, gesturing wildly Aug 26 '26
I'm guessing it's also because dentists are specialized on one area of your body, so they'll catch irregularities more easily that someone who's checking up on you as a whole.
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u/notafrumpy_housewife FREE MOM HUGS Aug 22 '26
Shout out to your dentist, and I hope you're doing OK now!
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u/Any-Assistance8169 BRB 🎮 FOOD Aug 23 '26
Thanks! I’m still on a treatment plan, but so far the side effects are manageable.
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u/AggravatingTomato159 Foraging Bog Witch Aug 24 '26
And your thyroid!! I just recently got diagnosed with Hashimotos and learned that you can make incredibly healthy life choices but leaving it untreated can cause you to get heart disease down the line. I didn’t even know I had it, I just knew the risk existed because one of my parents has it. Make sure that gets checked too!
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u/EmbeddedWithDirt APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
Spot on. I went to my optometrist for a yearly exam and she told me I needed to see a cardiologist ASAP because my blood vessels were not showing straight but wavy. Heart disease runs in my family. Made an appointment and they found a 30% blockage in an LAD artery. Explains why I get dizzy and lightheaded.
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u/colorkiller what that mouth do is snack Aug 23 '26
i’m so glad you caught it! yearly eye exams are way more important than we realize. i am constantly telling my friends that even if they have 20/20 they still need them.
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u/MissAdventurousMags Body By Cheese 🧀 Aug 23 '26
As someone who prides themselves on great eyesight (at 41) I needed to read this. I declined the vision insurance at my new-ish job but will be signing up for that next time it's open.
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u/velvetvagine APPROVED✨ Aug 23 '26
Honestly yall just convinced me to book one since it’s been a couple of years now.
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u/colorkiller what that mouth do is snack Aug 24 '26
if i can help even just a few people im happy 💖 also i LOVE your username 🫶🏻
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u/Koalarama1234 I ❤️ Other People's Business Aug 22 '26
I’m an optometrist and I approve this message. Caught someone with undiagnosed diabetes and high blood pressure just a couple months ago. He’d come in for a routine exam.
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u/FlyinHiiigh APPROVED✨ Aug 23 '26
Thank you, this makes me feel a lot better about springing for the photo instead of the eye drops during my last exam.
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u/justasque APPROVED✨ Aug 23 '26
I always get the photo. Last time it paid off as it caught a serious eye issue for which I had no symptoms. Got it fixed within days. So glad the doc found it at what was supposed to be a routine annual visit.
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u/Koalarama1234 I ❤️ Other People's Business Aug 23 '26
The drops would have done the same thing as the photo but with a wider range of visibility. The advantage of the photo is that next year’s optometrist can pull it up and compare to see if there have been any changes to your retina.
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u/Manic-StreetCreature Trader Joe Hoe Aug 23 '26
Also you can get home blood pressure monitors for like $30.
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u/Wrong_Yam5325 APPROVED✨ Aug 25 '26
Know ALL the signs for sleep apnea, they are very numerous and it can present in a thousand different ways.
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u/colorkiller what that mouth do is snack Aug 25 '26
i have it, i got a sleep study done and now im a cpap girlie
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u/Absurd_Flaccidity Cleavage Crumb Collector Aug 24 '26
I’ve started doing this preventatively along with all my siblings as my dad died young of heart disease. He didn’t manage it well but we also have a family history so I get everything checked. That said, anything can happen and I’m so very sorry for OP. I can’t imagine what that loss feels like. It happened to a friend of mine (he was 40, no warning). She has a great support system and is doing great now but it’s so hard. OP I’m so sorry. Take it one minute at a time if that’s what it takes. One foot in front of the other. Be kind to yourself.
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u/BeautifulHomework76 nom nom, nod nod Aug 22 '26
My uncle was a pretty healthy guy when he suffered an aortic dissection at 52. Lucky for him, he worked in the cardiology department of a hospital and was on the clock when it happened. Turns out our whole family carries a mutated gene that causes lousy hearts.
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u/Hairy_Interactions Pantry Gremlin Aug 22 '26
Do you know what genetic testing was done? My brother died of aortic dissection at 33, my dad found he had an aneurysm (descending I believe) and experienced dissection during the surgery. The cardiologist encouraged us to do genetic testing and… the test I did, was negative to much of anything. They said “maybe there is a mutation on something this test doesn’t check, or maybe it was coincidental” and left it at that 🥵
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u/BeautifulHomework76 nom nom, nod nod Aug 22 '26
MYH11 Gene mutation. Can be detected via blood test.
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u/Hairy_Interactions Pantry Gremlin Aug 22 '26
Ours did test that, and it was negative. Oh well. One day I’m sure it’ll all make sense.
Take care, thank you for sharing
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u/esotericbatinthevine Pastafarian 🍝 Aug 22 '26
They checked for vascular type EDS too correct?
I have vascular issues and a family history of them. When getting evaluated for EDS they specifically checked for vascular. I don't have it so I'm in the "we don't know what's causing your EDS" group, aka hypermobility type. Apparently a lot of us have vascular issues of unknown cause but doctors have only started to pay attention in the last five or so years.
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u/Hairy_Interactions Pantry Gremlin Aug 22 '26
I can’t remember if they checked for vascular EDS. They definitely checked hyper mobility and like, limb length? Said we (little brother and I) don’t have the physical indicators of Marfans or Loeys-Dietz
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u/esotericbatinthevine Pastafarian 🍝 Aug 22 '26
I know the degree of hypermobility can be highly variable and being very fit can mask symptoms particularly when younger. But it sounds like they did proper hypermobility testing, which is good.
That's frustrating to not have answers. There is a lot we still don't know about genetics and the human body in general.
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u/BeautifulHomework76 nom nom, nod nod Aug 22 '26
Jeez, I am so sorry. For both your losses and lack of answers. I’m sure that one day there will indeed be information discovered that is pertinent to you.
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u/Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
Loeys-dietz has had 5 forms identified now.
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u/Hairy_Interactions Pantry Gremlin Aug 22 '26
They ruled my little brother and I out of Loeys-Dietz based on physical indicators alone (uvula, length of fingers compared to wrist) but I just looked at the genes that Loeys-Dietz has known mutations (TGFBR1, TGFBR2, SMAD3, TGFB2, and TGFB3 according to Google) and all of those were tested for us.
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u/GetOffMyLawn_ Feral Til Fed Aug 22 '26
Another test that is recommended now especially for men with a history of smoking, is getting an ultrasound of the aorta. It's standard screening in some countries.
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u/tododeku APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
Very glad they caught it for your family! When there is a sudden aortic dissection or sudden death in a young individual it can sometimes be attributed to a genetic change responsible for heart muscle function. I work in medical genetics so it can be really helpful getting genetic testing done so other family members can also get tested and potentially be eligible for early and frequent heart screens before something like a dissection happens, which I assume your family is now doing. Hope your family has been doin well since!
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u/BeautifulHomework76 nom nom, nod nod Aug 22 '26
Absolutely; having a lot of medical professionals in the family has linked us up with some great resources! We can trace it back a few generations just based on people’s age/manner of death. I’m very relieved that my daughter doesn’t have the mutation - I would not have had children at all had I known about the issue prior to my pregnancy. But I didn’t know then, and Kid got lucky. Which is fantastic, she deserves good health.
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u/ratmouthlives 🩵begging y'all to hydrate💙 Aug 22 '26
Best possible place he could have been. Like running out of gas just as you’re pulling into the gas station.
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u/BeautifulHomework76 nom nom, nod nod Aug 22 '26
Fantastic analogy. He was a hematologist, and one of his best work buddies was a cardiac surgeon, so that’s who he went to when he felt the pop in his chest. Cardiac surgeon was like “we gotta get a couple tests run on you FAST and then if it’s what I think it is, you’re about to have major surgery” which he did. He retired after using all of his paid time off and has just been chillin in the past 2.5 decades.
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u/Katarams 🐛The Very Hungry Bookworm 📚 Aug 22 '26
Agreed! I play hockey and in the last 3 years we’ve had 2 guys in their 30s have heart attacks while playing. One even had full cardiac arrest requiring defibrillation with an AED. Fortunately both survived, had quadruple bypass surgeries and are back to hockey.
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u/sweet-alyssums Cleavage Crumb Collector Aug 22 '26
Jumping on this comment...Many times it is due to Lp(a). This can be measured in a blood test, but it's not always part of a normal panel.
https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/cholesterol/genetic-conditions/lipoprotein-a
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u/GetOffMyLawn_ Feral Til Fed Aug 22 '26
Yes, that's been a big topic of discussion over in /r/Cholesterol especially since new dyslipidemia guidelines came out in January.
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u/Morieta7 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
I’m 40 now but when I was 11 my father (who was 47) passed from a heart attack while swimming. He hadn’t always been in shape but about a year or 2 before hand he started eating right and working out. Was overall pretty healthy. But just happened. I don’t know if he would have made it if he wasn’t in the water when it happened but it did. Only 47. I’m 40 now and it’s becoming more real the time I have left
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u/Angloriously Internet Auntie Aug 22 '26
Chin up, modern medical science may come through for you. Every man on my husband’s paternal side died in their 30-50s from heart failure, up until his father, who’s still alive at 78.
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u/cikalamayaleca Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Aug 22 '26
My mom's father passed at around the age of 45 when she was 14 from a massive heart attack and she went through the same anxiety as you. I had to spend a lot of time calming her down the year leading up to her turning his age when he passed. She's 57 now & has zero signs of any heart issues, as well as her 64yo brother. Just thought my anecdotal story might ease some of your worry
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u/KetchupAndOldBay APPROVED✨ Aug 23 '26
Have you been screened for Brugada Syndrome at all? A lot of younger men who die from heart attacks (in their 40s, 50s) have it and it's not from a "widow maker." It's not as rare as it may seem, and it's genetic. It can be passed down to both men and women, btw!!
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u/BalefulBroccoli Carb-Based Life Form Aug 22 '26
Yes. My fiancé was only in his 30s when he passed from cancer last month. Yes, he did indulge in drink sometimes, and did vape, but was generally quite fit and healthy. When he was diagnosed a couple years back he was a strong, healthy young man - but it was already stage 4. Life is short, and it's crushing. Please tell your loved ones you love them every day.
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u/general_madness Assigned Hungry At Birth Aug 23 '26
Sorry for your loss. Can I ask, was it glioblastoma?
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u/Sea-Finance506 Foraging Bog Witch Aug 22 '26
My situation is kind of an anomaly but I had a heart attack at 37. Turns out I was one of the 25% of the population whose PFO didn’t close. Blood clots (likely from birth control but we’ll never know for sure) made their way into my heart. Weird stuff happens.
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u/mushroompickinpal Kitchen Witch Aug 22 '26
My 25 year old cousin had 2 heart attacks. I honestly don't know the details of why, but he's a young healthy man. Doesn't drink or smoke. Has a wife and 2 young children. Scary as hell. Let's all take our annual checkups seriously.
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u/Ornery-Atmosphere930 Kitchen Witch Aug 22 '26
I’m chronically ill/disabled (but I work full time and look fine so it’s not obvious). People love to believe that they can control their health by doing the “right” things. It’s true that you can control some aspects of your health to an extent, but most of it is a crapshoot. Anyone can become ill or disabled at any time. Calling the “right” things the “right things” and similar lines of thinking and conversation turn health into a measure of morality when it’s not. This isn’t a judgement of OP or of you-just a general PSA/commentary on how chronically ill and disabled people are constantly judged for their choices. In the end, it harms everyone. Wishing OP peace and healing.
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u/Electrical-Arrival57 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
This is an excellent comment. Thank you for pointing this out. I used to work with a psychiatrist who liked to say that some people were just “born with bad brains” - not anyone’s fault, not anything that someone could have prevented, just the short end of the genetic stick. Ironically and sadly, that same doctor passed away completely unexpectedly of an aortic aneurysm at 47 years old. The judging of the ill/disabled is a very distasteful aspect of our current cultural attitude, especially when paired with threats to remove what little support many of them have because they’re “too entitled.”
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Aug 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ornery-Atmosphere930 Kitchen Witch Aug 22 '26
I hear you. I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was in a hostile working environment. I got out and the depression went away. The anxiety held over. Then I found out my brain is herniating out of my skull and when I got effective treatment my anxiety evaporated. So it can go a lot of ways, I guess.
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u/GetOffMyLawn_ Feral Til Fed Aug 22 '26
Yup. My permanent disability was caused by a viral infection. My coworker's heart failure was probably caused by a viral infection.
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u/twoisnumberone APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
PSA to everyone that just cause you’re young and make healthy life choices doesn’t mean you
...can't get ANY health condition! Every time I went to my GP for certain worrisome yet unspecific issues, my GPs (two of them, one after the other) were unbothered because I seemed fine based on my lifestyle: normal weight; standard blood panel within parameters; sport every other day; healthy food.
Only much deeper actual diagnostics revealed serious problems. (Thanks to the US health insurance system, by the way, which wants ME to spend MY money on medications but does not want to spend money on actually finding out what's wrong with me after issues for many, many months.)
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u/asimplepencil Ranch Evangelist Aug 22 '26
My boyfriend's father had a random heart attack in his late 50s. The doctors said they found no discernible cause and it was completely random. The guy was very active, not overweight, etc. The father survived but has been considerably weakened. Sometimes it's just completely random
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u/GetOffMyLawn_ Feral Til Fed Aug 22 '26
I have seen so many things happen to coworkers and friends under 50. Heart attacks, heart failure, blood clots, cancer, etc... Don't ignore symptoms, especially chest pain or shortness of breath, or internal bleeding.
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u/Illustrious_Quiet907 APPROVED✨ Aug 23 '26
My friend’s aunt recently had a heart attack and was dead for several minutes despite eating healthy, being active and not being overweight. Fortunately, they were able to bring her back, but it might’ve not gotten to that point if there wasn’t this idea if you have a healthy lifestyle you can’t have heart issues. I’m kind of worried about my friend’s mom now because her father died of a heart attack and her sister had a heart attack and died for several minutes. She lives alone except her dog and I don’t think he can save her. At least my friend is adopted I guess. Her sister might want to be careful though since she’s not adopted.
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u/WaterDmge Gender Nom-Conforming Aug 23 '26
I’ve known two people in their 40s who were the kindest people that were in managing positions. Both of them had to face hard realities that managing was extremely difficult and sometimes you have to deal with horrible people in your own groups. The stress was too much and both had heart attacks (mild, but enough of a scare to leave their high stress jobs). Happened years apart at two different jobs.
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u/Grapewife APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
Agreed. Knew a young girl at 18 who had one. She was otherwise pretty healthy. Just because it's rare in such a young age doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
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u/XIXButterflyXIX Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Aug 23 '26
My husband's dad passed in his sleep from a widowmaker at 44. I'm terrified husband will fall around the same age (he's now 42).
Op, I am SO, so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having someone so close pass when you were making such big plans. It may be too soon for friends to say this, but I'm just a stranger on the net. - I have a feeling he is going to lead you to one you're supposed to marry. Freeze some eggs just in case you wanna have kids but can't get pregnant.
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u/SuspiciousPoetry6996 what that mouth do is snack Aug 22 '26
I hope his memory becomes a blessing, in time 🫂💕 That’s so awful. I’m sorry and I am giving you a hug
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u/Nerween APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. The love you two shared was clearly something rare and beautiful, and nothing can take that away from you
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u/Teri_xtali51 Resident Yapper Aug 22 '26
I am so incredibly sorry. The detail about typing this on the keyboard he got you... my heart is absolutely broken for you. Please remember to drink water, eat your snacks, and just survive right now. There is no right way to handle a grief this heavy.
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u/Potenti9988 Certified Snacker Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
That's really sad, girl. Stay strong. We're all here for you!
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u/KeyCat4470 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
oh my god I am so sorry. May he RIP. Hope you stay strong girl <3 Sending you lots of love and light.
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u/MollyMay73 🍍+ 🍕 Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
I’m glad you’re eating. My husband (42) was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in April. He’s my best friend and I always say that no one will ever love me like he does. Life is very unfair and I wish we could live together until we are 90. I have a friend who checks in on me weekly and asks if I’m eating and how I’m doing. It means the word to me. I’ve lost over 10 pounds since his diagnosis just from being sad. I’m glad you have a good support system ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss 💕
Edit: he’s been in the hospital an hour and a half away since March and I only see him on weekends as I work Monday to Friday.
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u/Dandanaynay Onigirlie 🍙 Aug 22 '26
You are so strong
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u/MollyMay73 🍍+ 🍕 Aug 22 '26
YOU are so strong. Wer only strong because we have no other option. We just have to keep going. The Reddit community has really helped me through this. Sending you love.
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u/MollyMay73 🍍+ 🍕 Aug 22 '26
My mom asked me (knowing my answer so I could put things in perspective) ‘knowing what you know about his diagnosis, would you have still chosen him?’ I said ‘1000 times yes. Over and over in every lifetime.’ I stand by that answer. This sucks. It sucks for you but I’m sure even knowing how it ended, you’d still have chosen him. 💕
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u/rani_weather Cleavage Crumb Collector Aug 23 '26
You too girlie 💓 my condolences. May the light from his love continue to bless your heart and soul each day. I wish you all the best 💕
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u/Intrepid-Cherry8000 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ Aug 22 '26
Sending so much love to you 🥰❤️ we’re all with you
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u/TrelanaSakuyo The Snack That Sasses Back Aug 22 '26
Please tell me you are taking advantage of programs for long distance travel like that. If he's a US vet (or you!), I have the information for one program that's is in all states. If not, there's a social worker attached to his care that can help. Don't stop fighting for him, even if that means fighting for palliative care; it's the only regret I have with my dad. I hope it doesn't come to that for you, though!
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u/Teri_xtali51 Resident Yapper Aug 22 '26
Oh Molly, my heart breaks for you. The physical exhaustion of working all week combined with the emotional toll of only seeing him on weekends must be unimaginably heavy. I am so glad you have a friend making sure you eat. Please be gentle with yourself right now.
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u/BalefulBroccoli Carb-Based Life Form Aug 22 '26
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My own fiancé was diagnosed a couple years back. Stage 4. Unfortunately, he passed last month. He was in his 30s. It's a tough battle and I wish you all the strength, support, and health. Know you're strong and you're doing everything you can. Please try to take care of yourself. I know it's hard. ❤️🩹
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u/MollyMay73 🍍+ 🍕 Aug 22 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss. Reddit is an amazing thing. I’m so glad wer able to reach ppl in like situations. I feel so much less alone. And I’m sure OP does too. We are all way too young to have to heal with this heartbreak.
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u/BalefulBroccoli Carb-Based Life Form Aug 22 '26
Thank you, and I absolutely agree. I'd posted to a couple of other communities and it does make me feel less alone. And we always wish for more time. Hang in there; wishing you both lots of strength, love, light, and luck. Hugs (if accepted). 🫂
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u/Bubbly_Document2819 Glutenless Glutton Aug 22 '26
I sincerely from the bottom of my heart hope you are going to be okay and remember we all love and support you in here even if you don’t know it.🩷
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u/Bentbutnotbroken111 Chocoholic Aug 22 '26
I’m sorry….and will send you good thoughts, and energy.
I know how hard it is to take care of yourself right now, but please try.
Life is not always fair. The one real blessing we get is the kind of love that you and OP have, there is so much beauty in that love. (((Hugs)))
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u/KindheartednessOk663 pain: chronic, snacks: iconic Aug 23 '26
Sending you love across the miles from New Zealand. What an awful time to be going through. I can't imagine continuing to work full time so far away from where he is being cared for and holding it together and then travelling each weekend. Sending you strength also. You're amazing.
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u/TooOldForACleverName Certified Snacker Aug 22 '26
I'm going to be presumptuous for a bit, but if a magician came and said, "I can take away the hurt, but you will never have known him," you would say "No, let me have this short time because it's still better than never having any time with him."
This is little consolation right now, I know. I hope in time though, you'll see this relationship as a blessing and something that forever made your life better. I'm glad you found each other, even as I grieve for your loss.
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u/Helena911 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
To love, even knowing that it might just be for a short time, is such a human experience. Life is precious and can be taken from us any day. It enriches our time on earth.
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u/CSILalaAnn APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 23 '26
I am so sorry. If it matters, his promises weren't empty. I am sure he meant them and if he were still here, they would be fulfilled.
Edit: Thank you for the awards!! 🥰
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u/Dandanaynay Onigirlie 🍙 Aug 22 '26
Absolutely. He was doing his best but now his words sound like echo
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u/CaterpillarLongBoi PO🥔TAY🥔TOES Aug 22 '26
You may feel anger at him for leaving you (I know he didn’t but it can FEEL that way), just know that’s a normal part of grief and your feelings aren’t wrong. Your feelings will change and fluctuate, all you can do is ride them out and lean on your support system.
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u/Dry-Weakness-901 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
Oh no dear. I am so sorry. Rest well and lean on your support system. RIP
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u/Kevan_Minus_the_K 🩵would make you a sandwich💙 Aug 22 '26
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u/Main-character-08 Certified Snacker Aug 22 '26
I’m so incredibly sorry for your lost ❤️🩹 sending you so many hugs 🫂
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u/Humble_Pickle8607 🧂Salty By Nature Aug 22 '26
Oh OP - there are no words 💔
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u/Efficient-Common7551 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know you’re feeling lots of things and I’m so glad you’re doing so with the support of family. I just want to say one thing which is that you should not add guilt to the pile, or anger at your beloved for not pushing harder at doctors.
Medicine still doesn’t understand heart attacks in young healthy people very well. I had one entirely without the usual over 40/overweight/sedentary/substance risk factors, and that involved much bullshit at every turn in pushing for treatment. Turns out I don’t even have clogged arteries- other stuff can go wrong. doctors, even good doctors, do not understand that well because the science isn’t there yet.
The tragedy is that heart attacks in the young are so often deadly because they aren’t the usual thing and don’t fit into the usual patterns. I’m so deeply sorry you were robbed of more time with your beloved: he deserved better from the medical establishment.
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u/Latter-Athlete-2361 Protein Queen 🍗🍳 Aug 22 '26
How incredibly painful. I’m so sorry for this devastating loss.
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u/ImageEmbarrassed5888 Certified Snacker Aug 22 '26
I took a man and his two children into my home, we married, and then the health issues began. He ended up losing his left leg below the knee due to diabetes, but oddly enough that was the turning point. He became more aware, less foggy and determined to work so we could rebuild our life. Then one morning I woke up and he was… gone. Just like that. OP I feel such empathy for you. You will get through this.
I didn’t think I was ever going to be happy again but I said yes to a random message on Ourtime.com and the rest is history. I’m 58, he’s 65, and we are counting on many long years together. We saved each other.
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u/Fragrant_Candidate_6 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Aug 22 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m so happy you found love again.
I didn’t know how to thoughtfully and gently add that there is still a future out there for OP. It will just be a different version that she imagined, hoped for, and desperately wants back. Life is both too short and too long. Life is too short to not love like she did but too long to resign yourself to a lost future.
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u/bubbleballet Purveyor of Purse Snacks Aug 24 '26
Wanted to echo that life is both too short and too long- really beautifully said
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u/keeza3 Tiny Bodega Rat 🐀 Aug 22 '26
Oh shit I’m so sorry! My now husband and I started similarly online and long distance so this got me choked up. I know a strangers words over the internet are hollow but I am sending you all my love.
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u/neon_sprinkles613 Tea Time Hostess ☕️ Aug 22 '26
I am so sorry to hear this happen. I understand what this feels like. My husband of almost six years passed away in March from a massive brain bleed. He was fine all day and then at Midnight his arm went numb and quickly fell apart from there. He never woke up after the paramedics took him out of our house. The absence of him is beyond hard. I am so sorry this happened to you too. I am 36. You never imagine being a widow so young. I hope you give yourself the grace to grieve.
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u/Critical-Trainer4729 Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 Aug 22 '26
I just want to say that they were not empty promises! He fully intended on following through on everything he told you he would do, it’s so unfair and tragic he was never given the chance. I’m so sorry for your loss, OP ❤️
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u/AgnesOfBroadway Internet Auntie Aug 22 '26
Oh, man. Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am.
My husband had a heart attack at 41 (bad hearts run in his family). Luckily, he survived and the damage was minimal. But, there's not a day that goes by that I'm not terrified I might lose him for good. Know that you are loved more than you even know.
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u/Menemsha4 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
May his memory be for a blessing.
I’m heartbroken for you.
Sending you gentle hugs.🫂
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u/Low-Wish9164 hot girls have tummy troubles Aug 22 '26
I'm so glad you got to meet him and know him and love him. I'm so sorry for this devastating loss and this new life ahead of you.
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u/1_Sleepy_Thing Lover of Soups Aug 23 '26
Holy fucking shit I am so sorry. I know it means fuck all, but sending you love & support from Boston. I’m glad you’re surrounded by people that care about you.
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u/DubSam2023 Well-Read & Well-Fed Aug 22 '26
I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking. Sounds like he was a good guy! Whenever you are ready, come back and tell us about him. Sending you a big hug!
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u/Dandanaynay Onigirlie 🍙 Aug 22 '26
He had a beard that I absolutely despised and he knew it. He often teased me with it but despite that I got him a kit to take care of it. He would've also been so pissed that he was out before GTA VI was.
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u/DubSam2023 Well-Read & Well-Fed Aug 22 '26
He sounds like a fun guy with a good sense of humour. If you want to come back and tell us more, just to speak about him, I'm here. Any day.
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u/Janefallsforflowers Hazy Grazer 😶🌫️ Aug 22 '26
I’m soo sorry. Having recently been through loss of my own I can honestly say that you were the light of his life and he passed knowing he was loved. That’s all any of us can hope for. Over time you will know that having him in your life was a blessing.
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u/Minty676 Internet Auntie Aug 22 '26
We are all do sorry for your loss, but I will say this; your future is not gone it is just different now, from what you have said about him I don’t think he would want you to give up on a happy future. Take your time OP the sun will shine again, until then we are all here for you.
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u/knowwwhat Hazy Grazer 😶🌫️ Aug 22 '26
Oh wow, these types of relationships are hard to grieve even in the least horrible of circumstances. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, that’s so hard. Sending hugs
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u/No-Section-7846 just here for the garlic bread 🖤🩶🤍💜 Aug 22 '26
I'm crying. I'm so sorry.
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u/ihainecross girls just wanna have pho Aug 22 '26
My heart aches for you OP... I can't even imagine what you must be going through.... 🫂
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u/ihainecross girls just wanna have pho Aug 22 '26
I wanted to respond to myself and leave a quote that helped me a bit when I lost my brother. Hopefully OP you see that and I pray that it helps you in some way, like it did to me....:
Death leaves a pain that nobody can heal, But the love leaves a memory nobody can steal.
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u/NoFoundation6621 🪿 feeding the soft animal of my body Aug 22 '26
oh my goodness, this is heartbreaking 💔 I am so sorry, and with time I hope you heal ❤️
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u/redhuntrez 🍋 Bitter Baddie 🍋 Aug 22 '26
I am so, so profoundly sorry. My sister had a similar thing happen to her hubby when he was 45. It's absolutely horrific and I imagine one of the worst pains a person can feel. I still keep pics of my BIL and sister all over the house to help me remember all the good times and while sad, it helps keep him in my heart. I hope you are able to get together with people who love you and let them take care of you for a while. No one should have to go through this. I'm just so sorry and this just sucks. 💔
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u/citycait Internet Auntie Aug 22 '26
Twenty two years ago, my husband was murdered. He was 36 years old; I was thirty two. It is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I still think about him every day, and tell stories about him, and just keep his memory alive. It doesn’t feel this way right now, but your memories and stories will be a comfort.
I’m so sorry. I know how awful it is. But I promise you that you still have a future, albeit a different one. But he will always be a part of it, since you will carry him with you.
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u/coyoteflower_1006 Assigned Hungry At Birth Aug 22 '26
I'm very very sorry for your loss OP, may his soul rest in peace 🕊
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u/allieoops925 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
I am so sorry, there are no words that could possibly make this better.
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u/Complete-Produce8116 mouth full, gesturing wildly Aug 22 '26
I’m just so sorry. I don’t know what else to say.
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u/OkCandidate8557 🍳 eggs? in this economy?? Aug 22 '26
Life is not fair. I am sure he loved you very much and was just as excited about your future together as you. His body betrayed him. I hope that time eventually brings you peace and that his love for you will envelope you for the rest of your life.
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u/MidstSerpentsOfWool FREE MOM HUGS Aug 22 '26
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m tearing up just reading this. May you find peace in time.
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u/Wayfaringbutterfly Chocoholic Aug 22 '26
My gosh. I am so sorry. Heart, head and breathing issues are no joke and even the smallest symptoms should be investigated. You were absolutely right to want him to get another opinion. I'm so sorry he didn't and I'm so sorry for your loss.
I hope and pray for comfort as you walk through this and attempt to figure out how to move on from here.
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u/Nausicaalotus Foraging Bog Witch Aug 22 '26
Sometimes, death just happens for no reason. May he rest. Take care of yourself and keep eating and leaning on your loved ones. Im so sorry for your loss.
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u/TypePuzzleheaded6228 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
so very sorry for your loss. sending hugs and prayers for comfort and solace. 💕🙏🏻💕💕💕
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u/Retumba 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Aug 22 '26
Omg I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the amount of heart ache you must be feeling. I hope you take care of yourself and sending you a hug 💛💛
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u/Maleficent-Spray1613 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
Your story is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm proud of you for eating - take good care of yourself❤️
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u/MyMelancholyBaby 🧂Salty By Nature Aug 22 '26
I’ve been on the internet long enough to question the glitch and if he actually died. Not saying the woman did anything wrong - there are a hell of a lot of lonely heart scammers in the world.
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u/External-Shallot-559 🧄 Anti-Vampire Taskforce 🧄 Aug 23 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking to hear
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u/shadowfax2409 Short Story Long™️ Aug 22 '26
Oh my gosh.. I’m so sorry for your loss 🫂 prayers for you and your family ❤️
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u/Forget_reset_repeat Plate Scraper Aug 22 '26
So sorry love ❤️ I hate how grief gets to suddenly appear and instantly shift worlds🫂❤️🫂
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u/JuggernautFuzzy4125 white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Aug 22 '26
Awe, that’s so sad. I’m SO sorry for your loss. 🥺
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u/Mundane_Medicine_597 APPROVED✨ Aug 22 '26
So sorry for your loss! You made the last years of his life so happy. Sending you a virtual hug
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u/SimoneMichelle what that mouth do is gossip Aug 22 '26
I’m so so sorry… I’m engaged and in a LDR, my heart absolutely goes out to you. The snacks look good. Be kind to yourself 🤍
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u/Meow_r1001 Chaotic But Cute Aug 22 '26
I only came across this now, and honestly, it broke my heart a little more. I don’t even know what to say except I can feel how deeply you loved him just from the way you wrote about him. I hope you’re being gentle with yourself.
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u/AlexisMarien Snack Goblin Aug 23 '26
One day I woke up and my 27 year old fiance was dead on our couch. He had relapse after being clean for 6 years. He took something he thought was mild, and it was laced with fentanyl and he died. Life doesn't go back to normal. And the pain is excruciating at first. But life, if you let it, will grow around it and one day you may feel the luckiest person in the world to have had the opportunity to love and be loved so deeply that it nearly obliterated you when it was gone. It changes your whole world, even if it didn't get to last as long as it should. You will be furious.
You will understand things about life that is hard for others to understand unless they have been through it. You'll be walking in the grocery store angry that complete strangers dare live their lives as if nothing happened. You will need to show yourself as much grace as possible, as well as others who don't know what to do no matter how desperately they want to. You are even going to meet some oblivious assholes who try to "tough love" you out of it with some of the most stupid lines you'll ever hear.
Everyone grieves differently, but it unites all of us nonetheless. You aren't alone and it will be ok, but it's ok for it to not feel ok for as long as you need.
I'm am so sorry.
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u/Special_Average1297 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ Aug 22 '26
Fellow young widow here, I’m so so sorry for your loss. I can’t say that it gets easier but time at least dulls the pain. Keep his memory alive. Speak about him, do things you enjoyed doing together. Live for him. Feel free to DM if you need someone to chat with ♥️
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u/LevitatingAlto white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet Aug 22 '26
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
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u/strangeloop414 🦇 Fruit Bat Baddie 🍊 Aug 22 '26
I am so sorry for your loss and that you have to go through this. The heartbreak of losing your partner is so devastating that I just don't think someone who hasn't experienced it can understand what it feels like. Give yourself the grace to be however you need to be, i'm so glad you have some support.
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u/animalllllover I ❤️ Other People's Business Aug 22 '26
This sucks so much. I’m so sorry :(
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u/Independent-Week-289 Shart Coochie Board Architect Aug 22 '26
I am so deeply sorry for your loss ❤️
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