r/HIV • u/Altruistic-Ad8859 • 14d ago
Social Life With HIV Dating
How would a woman feel dating a guy who’s HIV positive but who is also taking their medication every day to the point where it is non-detectable?
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u/SuccessNo3736 14d ago
Medically, there is no problem, as Undetectable means HIV cannot be transmitted through intimate relations.
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u/MindCandyy 11d ago
Dating with HIV is hard. People are sus about getting it. Someone once asked me if it’s okay to share a cigarette. That’s the level of fear people have. Trying to date with HIV is like looking for a coin in an ocean. I wish more and more people start understanding about U=U. Good luck to you.
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u/Junior-Plant4627 14d ago
i’ve been under 20 for years now and it doesn’t matter it seems 🤦♂️ i’m still positive and so in the mind of many still a liability 😮💨
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u/AmazingBuilding5632 13d ago
Must also have good income, have empathy, must not have a criminal record, and must not be physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive.
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10d ago
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u/MasterMind19991 10d ago edited 10d ago
The comments you see here represent hookup culture and doesn’t reflect how actual dating and marriage plays out.
If you are only after hookup culture, yes your experience may not be great since the person is only seeing you as a sex person and knows zero about you other than their dumb logic of an hiv positive or negative. In this situation HIV status weighs in a lot.
If you are looking for a long term partner leading to marriage and go with the “wait until the right one comes up” to disclose, this is where your HIV status doesn’t take up the whole show and the person got to know you more than what your hiv status is. They are invested in you once they know there is no risk they will likely continue pursuing you.
Just wanted to differentiate between the two just so you’re not feeling hopeless from the comments you are seeing as they associate “dating” with just “hookups”
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u/Difficult_Coconut164 14d ago
I've heard it does happen....
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u/Apart_Common7361 14d ago
Usually only if they don’t take the meds. You can ask to see a recent test and if the number is under 50 you’re not going to catch it. They actually say under 200 I believe but under 50 for sure
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u/StayAwayFromThey 14d ago
I wouldn’t date anyone with HIV. We are humans and we forget to take meds all the time. I wouldn’t risk it.
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u/syncrosyn 14d ago
Well for a person to change from undetectable to detectable they would have to miss almost a months worth of medication in one go.
Missing a day or two doesn’t cause the virus to immediately start replicating.2
u/CryptographerDue7846 13d ago
It would help if you read more....
There are people living with diabetes (some even need insulin shots a couple of times a day) and high blood pressure, it's not different from living with HIV. When you know your life and overall health depends on it, you don't forget anymore.
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u/Intrepid_Show2173 7d ago
idk when i got diagnosed reading more made me less confident
unless I'm wrong something as simple as high humidity can ruin a med like Biktarvy, it says so on the instructions you get when you pick up the meds. If that's the case AND you get a 90 day supply as is the norm for most people there's a decent chance you go through periods of being contagious that wouldn't register on the 6 month check ins.
Your blood test says undetectable. You get 3 months of meds, they're bad, you take them for 3 months and become detectable sometime during week 3 - week 5 of taking the bad meds, you have sex and risk spreading, you get to the end of the 90 days fully detectable but asymptomatic, then you go back to the pharmacy and start another round of meds that are not ruined this time. You're on them for 30 days and because they work you're undetectable again. In another few months you go back for your blood test, and are told you're U=U.
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