Hello. I've been following this subreddit for some time now and the advice from its enduring and supportive members has been especially significant in helping me to escape from the grips of devious.. devious porn. I thought I'd share in my celebration with the community who made it possible.

Ever since I was a young lad, maybe around age 9, I was hooked. The shame, guilt, and isolation stifled my personality and character, and most notably, warped my view of sexuality. For years I truly believed this was just who I was, and that I'd carry it to my grave. Now, after more than 14 years of severe addiction, I have been free for over a year from the poison, from the brainwashing, and most of all - from the fear.

Life feels absolutely exhilarating now. I have all the energy I should've had all along to deal with the stresses of life and to finally attack the root causes. For years I blamed the tiredness, the fog, the regular iratibility, and most importantly the lack of life-giving drive on "getting older" and my "deficient brain".. how foolish of me.. It was never age or lack of something others had. The fog lifted so quickly it made me laugh, and mornings stopped feeling like climbing out of a hell hole. Motivation is in abundance now. I genuinely never thought see the day.

The relief is likened to waking up from a very long and very tiresome limbotic nightmare. Or like reaching for the walls of your prison cell and falling head-first out of the room, realizing the walls never existed to begin with.

And the gains, the glorious gains! My confidence. My courage to speak up, to walk into a room and just be myself without needing to "take the edge off" first. My concentration, which I was sure I'd lost for good. The hours and hours I used to hand over every week are mine again, and I'm spending them on real things and real people. Even the dark shadow at the back of my mind, the constant low hum of guilt and the dread of being found out, has gone. I never knew how heavy it was until it was lifted off my shoulders.

To be honest with you all, I didn't believe I'd see any of this, or arrive at the day where the power of my cravings would shrivel down into a tinsy-tiny force -- so pitifully easy to squash. Now, on the odd occasion it nudges me, it acts as a pleasant reminder to celebrate the delightful emancipation of my mind and vitality, and the shattering of the lie that porn has anything to offer besides deterioration.

Even on my bad days -- which, yes, I still have -- I can say to myself, "man, at least I don't have that horribly exhausting addiction anymore" and I seem to become quite cheery after that. A bad day is just a bad day now, and nothing more.

If you're sitting there reading this and feeling like it's hopeless, like you've tried everything and you're just an exception, I was exactly where you are. For 14 years! Every relapse convinced me I was the exception, too, and that I just needed to be stronger... I was wrong, and so are you. This isn't a sentence for life nor an uphill battle.. The cage porn put us in was never locked, and one day you'll look back and wonder how it ever trapped you in the first place.

I could go into greater detail of the endless torments I suffered whilst being addicted, and also of the many, many great positives I've experienced being free. But I'll leave that for another time.

I truly wish for all to experience the joy that comes from finally being free. I have real compassion and empathy for anyone still caught in it, because I lived there for such a long time, sometimes without any real hope.. in fact it is my goal to help at least one person to be where i am - entirely free and living gloriously without it.

Freedom is real, within everyones grasp, and it is so much sweeter than you can imagine.

It'd be a privilge to answer any questions you have (although, I may not be exceptionally prompt, so please bear with me).

Godspeed.

-David

Broke my streak of 2.5 months been gooning from a week or so. dopamine and doomscroll has got me again. day 1 again. i hate this. want to be better!!!

lets hear some words of encouragement

Porn increases my masterbating frequency. If I don't watch porn, I masterbate less often.

For the past 10 days I have been consciously trying to not surf any stimulating content. Hence I am not wasting time on websites, also I am better able to recognise myself distracting and stop that pursuit.

I have more clarity during work, and heightened consciousness. I am also practicing meditation, at least 10 min a day.

Overall, I am gaining control over my mind.

Hello. I'm three days without gooning right now but my max was two weeks.

The thing about me is that I always try and can resist a few days and do something else, but then a question always pops up in my head and I just can't find the answer to it. The question is "What is the purpose of this?" "What do I gain from fighting this?" And I always end up without and answer because I don't really know what do I want. My two and only things that keep popping up as plausible responses are "this is bad for me" and "maybe I'll get a girlfriend if I stop". But these just aren't good enough. Like I know there are benefits from quitting, dont get me wrong. Like, you have more time and motivation to do things and all that. But the thing with me is that I already have a bunch of time. It is precisely because I have time that I goon so much. If I was busy, I wouldn't even have time for it. And I can force myself to do stuff without feeling like because the sense of duty overrides the laziness for me. Like I cook, though it's not master chief good but it's tolerable food. I clean my house and I go to the gym. I was on college but I didn't really like it so I just quit because I found to be pretty boring for me. Also one last thing that I forgot to mention is that despite making it to two weeks, I never really saw any difference in myself. Like at all. I was the same but hornier I guess.

Another successful day loading

After maintaining the 'Odyssey October' challenge for 18 days, I finally relapsed today—on the 18th day. One thing I’ve learned from this journey is that it goes far beyond the specific challenges of individual months; this nofap no pmo thing truly works. Although I may have lost this particular challenge, I will not fall into that trap again. I will get back up and start my journey anew.

I only looking for black and white photos because I like that style but instantly a Nude pop out of nowhere but I didn’t react to it.

I'm working on breaking a compulsive habit with adult sites that's draining my focus and energy. I You don’t need to do any heavy lifting—just receive the periodic summary and ask me how I'm doing once a week. Would you be open to being my accountability partner on the app? I'm in India time zone.

I've been struggling not to spiral all day and laying here unable to sleep with my mind racing is really worrying me. I need to distract myself until I can fall asleep, I'm scared I'll give into the urge to peek.

Thank you, guys. I'm 19y old, trying my best to quit this shit for life. When I stop for a while, it's just a game changer, and then I come back to it again.

I can’t sleep and I’m dealing with really strong urges. Anyone have any advice? 🫩

M40
Feels stronger, full of energy
Working out like in my 20s

No fogy brain, more patient with wife.
More productive at work

I feel like this is a discussion we really need to have. Does seeing women on social media, or even following them, lead to negative outcomes for NoFap? Should social media be avoided altogether, or is it okay to use even if you accidentally run into lewd or softcore content?

Sun 18 Oct 2026

9:00AM MYT

I got triggered bad and now my urges are driving me insane. I’m on a 22 day streak and ive been dealing with them fine but now that i got triggered i’m about to just give in and relapse. I need help im scared im gonna lose my streak

6 Days complete No Fab

so yeah I saw something rlly bad accidentally irl, and then I had a lot of stress, and then I had a wet dream. Some other personal things happened and I had a rlly bad mental breakdown. But tbh I think the dream was due to the stress and not the thing I saw. Did I relapse? How much progress did I lose? I also came right out of a rlly bad flatline and I thought the worst was over...

2026/10/14 - today

PM mode

I find myself with the urge to fap a lot. And when I find myself doing it I always waste time because I know I shouldn’t be doing it but I can’t stop myself. I’ve given up and realize that if I just give in quicker I waste less time and get rid of the urge at least temporarily. I wonder if this is why in media like the wolf of Wall Street they talk about jerking off like 3 times a day lol. Is it worth it to even fight the urge if it always just leads to longer sessions and sometimes I still fail?

I (28M) need to change to have any hope of saving my relationship with my (26F) Fiancée. I was on this sub once, years and years ago and it helped back then, but eventually I quit and fell into old habits. Been telling myself it wasn't a problem just something normal to do that everyone does. I've been caught with lewd material liked on my socials and I stopped doing that there. I've been caught with my incognito tabs on my phone full of my pending videos I wanted to watch. I've promised to not watch certain kinds, and just a few days ago I promised to stop altogether. Then I was getting all set up to do it with a video going and everything and she woke up and came out and caught me.

lied over and over again and kept hiding it differently, sneaking around to do it. In addition to that, I've failed in carrying my own weight in our relationship not only in intimacy, but in every other way. I thought I did well with our engagement, but I did so many of the opposite things from what we had talked about wanting for it, like being private, having a photographer, etc. I haven't been there for her love languages, for her needs, all I've been able to do is work and provide financially. I haven't done enough around the house or for our dogs, knowing full well she takes care of those things full-time while struggling with her own mental and physical health difficulties. I've provided a life together that should have made her feel like a queen in a castle, but instead I see now that I've made it a prison that she couldn't get away from.

I should have changed the first time she asked me to, or the second, or the third, or any time after that. I still didn't and I realize that I've only hit this point because I got caught. I would have kept going and lied about it later and never admitted fault without the shame and guilt of getting caught, but it should have been a dealt with issue years ago if I was not selfish and chose to do right by her. It makes her sick to think about my sneaking and trying to hide it and lying more if I were not caught and I don't think she can look at me or sleep next to me right now because of it. I'm afraid that even if I do get better that she'll never be able to see me the same and it has just ruined us forever. I know I don't have the right to be afraid for my relationship after everything, but it really is my most important thing in my life, and the thought of losing that is just eating me alive.

I haven't made her feel loved, cared for, or attractive. I think I have a chance to prove my commitment to change and show improvement before I lose her for good, but even if I achieve that I don't think I'll ever be able to fully earn or deserve it after everything I've done. I joined today and I'm looking at resources for help, between what's linked here and also with resources for assistance that I have through my employer. I want to change. I don't want to lose my best friend. If she had the means to do so, she would've already left a while ago.

I'm trying to look inwards and come to terms with my actions and navigate my feelings about myself in a constructive way, to not think or say I'm just a terrible person and hate myself which always comes with a manipulating and narcissistic narrative. That's what my father does and I don't want to become that. I used to think I was different and I was a good person, and maybe I once was. I've made her feel like she doesn't even know me anymore and say I'm just like every other man, which I can't argue against. I am supposed to be better, be different than the rest and earn her love every day.

I've made some of the first steps by blocking certain types of content from various social media feeds, learning some things about my triggers, and trying to be honest about everything I'm thinking and feeling. I can't omit truths, lie, or deceive anymore if I want any possibility of fixing things. I need to commit to actions, follow through with plans and promises, and just show up for her. I'm afraid that it could be too late and the damage has been done. I'm afraid to talk to a therapist about my Intra-familial CSA. I don't know how to finish this or what else I should say here. I promised her I would do this and write everything I've been hiding. Maybe someone else here has some advice or insight, or will just say I'm already doing the right things, or I'm doing the wrong things, or that there's no hope. I don't know anymore.

EDIT: I also wanted to note that in starting my journey to recovery I am learning that my ED with my variety of symptoms between not being able to perform, finishing extremely fast, my lack of attention to my partner and her body, my failure to learn her signals, and so many other aspects of my intimacy and sexual performance issues have been deeply rooted in my addiction.

I have also just learned that porn has a bad interaction with ADHD as well, which I just got diagnosed with in the last year. A lot of things are starting to make sense for me with the dopamine dependency, my highs and lows with ADHD, mood and behavior patterns, all of that. I hope to get help in therapy with these things.

If anybody sees this then it’s a bonus ,
I will update every day even if it’s my main account
I spent around 25000$ on this addiction

Today is the day I start over from 452 days. Social media. Facebook specifically. I don't use IG but it would have been IG if it wasn't FB. Models keep popping up, and stupid me for letting them play out. GAH. Here we go again. I'm starting back up NOW.

Im kinda struggling rn… I failed every day this week and can’t get a streak going… I feel so weak atm… could use a good bro to chat..