How do you expect your average man on the street to shut down this behavior?
I am a 40 year old man and not anywhere near dorms or fraternities. When I was in college, I was often the young woman getting raped so I am hardly blind the fact that these are common occurrences. However, as a middle aged queer trans social worker, I am not involved with men engaging in this behavior.
Or, to paraphrase someone more articulate than me, if there are good men, they are not going to be in the group chat about raping women. Those groups have already self selected those men out of their social organizing. And I am happy to have been selected out of such peer groups.
Starting a question with âHow do you expectâŚâ then moving on to âexcuse blah blah excuse blah blahâ is not an open and honest inquiry.
Try asking âHow can I, a 40 yr old man, stop ignoring or contributing to rape culture?â
My answer would be to stop protecting yourself with excuses, stop acting like your history should abscond you from how youâre currently perceived, treat all women â even invisible women â with respect, call out abusive behavior when you see it, shut down offensive jokes and make sure people know that jokes that punch down are not OK. This is enough. You can use your life experience to add to the list.
"shut down offensive jokes and make sure people know that jokes that punch down are not OK" And of course you are the arbiter of what is considered offensive or up and down. It is this delusion that creates splinter groups of abusive men. If you didn't start invading our spaces and policing our communication we could keep the wanderers from going astray. We don't ask you to stop gossiping and ruining people's social life, which you often do. Stay the in your lane and maybe things would go smoother.
Gross. Have you never told anyone âwhoah, too far, too farâ when theyâve told an offensive joke? No, then yeah, youâre the piece of shit who is part of the problem. You have to be stupid if you think thatâs âpolicing behaviorâ.
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u/Previous-Artist-9252 12h ago
I mean this question openly and honestly.
How do you expect your average man on the street to shut down this behavior?
I am a 40 year old man and not anywhere near dorms or fraternities. When I was in college, I was often the young woman getting raped so I am hardly blind the fact that these are common occurrences. However, as a middle aged queer trans social worker, I am not involved with men engaging in this behavior.
Or, to paraphrase someone more articulate than me, if there are good men, they are not going to be in the group chat about raping women. Those groups have already self selected those men out of their social organizing. And I am happy to have been selected out of such peer groups.