r/PoursTea • u/Timbucktwo1230 đŤ Mod âď¸ • 5h ago
â ď¸Trigger Warningâ ď¸ Calls It
117
u/Timbucktwo1230 đŤ Mod âď¸ 5h ago
11
u/--CIAdidJFK-- 4h ago
Wait, so what do they do with the harassers?
68
u/Urban_Heretic 4h ago
Probably voted them into office to keep the thin blue line strong.
10
u/mindham86 1h ago
I hate that this is funny in a sarcastic way but horrible in the fact this shit happens
12
u/polarjunkie 2h ago
They stopped them to educate them. It should be noted that most of the people they stopped were actually for vehicular intimidation for honking at these undercover women while they were running in the street
14
5
→ More replies (13)4
u/polarjunkie 2h ago
People should read The source more carefully. All the news articles said it was about cat collars and men being sexual to women and that was only one of it. Most of the "harassment" was from cars getting too close and honking at them because they were in the street
4
u/AnonymousDahlia 48m ago
Why did you put harassment in quotes?
4
u/polarjunkie 41m ago
Because the headline makes you think it's sexual harassment when most of the issues where them getting honked at for taking up space in the street when cars are driving by
→ More replies (6)2
u/Interesting-Bee-153 17m ago
"PC Hayward said that, after getting honked and laughed at by a lorry driver within about 18 minutes and stopping to speak to him, the officers were then harassed again just 15 seconds after restarting their run."
Unless you read a different article than me, this is the only mention of cars honking and it's in no way in the context of the officers taking up the road, its literally the opposite and an example of harassment. Either we read different stories or you're genuinely just making shit up and lying.
→ More replies (2)
35
u/NocturnaBride 4h ago
And when we shoot our rapists in the face we go to prison. This shit has to end. Iâm so tired of the excuses, and the blame. Men need to start facing accountability for their actions.
→ More replies (10)19
u/Nearby-Beat316 4h ago
And we get charged harsher sentences when prosecuted
→ More replies (5)10
u/Gringopolarbear 3h ago
It actually seems to me that most of the time, these "men" aren't even prosecuted, and if they are, the sentencing is more a slap in the face to the victim than it is any real justice. Same thing with child predators. Every single one needs to be put in a cell with a big hairy monster named Dover. Ben Dover. Their punishment should be to receive exactly what they dish out.
0
u/Dirty-Haiku 2h ago
Itâs wild how rape is suddenly funny when it happens to men.
7
4
u/peachypeachypeach543 2h ago
No one said that, unless you are claiming all men are rapists/child predators. Which anyone with an above room temperature IQ does not believe. If someone who rapes is put in prison and then receives the same treatment they gave to others đ¤ˇââď¸
4
12
u/suprasternaincognito 1h ago
And yet, as we speak, Iâm having a guy on IG tell me that women ask for SA. That women have lost the plot and need men to tell us what to do. The 19th should be amended to only let conservative Christian women vote. Women are acting against their best interests in pushing for equality amd should be grateful to white Christian men for preventing sharia.
2
u/CombinationRough8699 22m ago
Do you actually know this person? Because if not, there's a good chance it's a bot.
1
51
u/No-Blueberry-1823 4h ago
Well when you elect a convicted felon and rapist as president, go fucking figure
4
→ More replies (9)6
u/Idaho-Earthquake 2h ago
That basically just reveals the heart of this country.
But⌠yeah.→ More replies (1)
194
u/wasted-degrees 4h ago
I wish the ânot all menâ crowd could self-police as effectively as the No Kings protestors. I remember seeing a few videos where the protestors were peacefully doing their thing until one dude tried to incite violence or vandalism, at which point the rest of the protestors turned on that dude, called him out, kicked him out of the group and turned him over to police.
The best way to prove that âIâm not like thatâ and keep your own identity distinct from the bad actors you want to avoid being associated with is to shut that kind of shit down immediately upon recognition.
14
16
u/RaptorsCdwoods 1h ago edited 1h ago
I wish all the dudes that felt/feel the need to make a comment like âbut I donât do this/ donât see this around me so you really need to correct your languageâ spent as much effort making sure their daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, etc⌠werenât being sexually assaulted rather than policing them on language when women live in a world where rape, sexual assault and harassment are common place (1 in 3 women globally).
Women have been saying shit like this is an issue for decades/ the statistic of 1 in 3 women has been the same for 20 years and âmenâ have been more offended of the language they use rather than what is happening during that time.
→ More replies (3)5
u/nevermorevermore 33m ago
This is it. The ânot all menâ crowd are fundamentally STILL part of the âall menâ group they claim not to be a part of, because theyâre still men who place their FEELINGS over the SAFETY and LIVES of the women around them.
The problem is that so many men are so insanely entitled to women that it doesnât even occur to them how little they actually see women as equal people.
→ More replies (3)36
u/SunOnTheMountains 3h ago
During protests, the person who is trying to incite violence is often a police officer, so the police will have an excuse to come in and violently stop the protest and arrest people. The protestors are trying to protect themselves from negative consequences.
Men current have no incentive to stop other menâs bad behavior. They can have negative consequences if they do try, in the form of bullying and violence, so they donât try.
Rape culture is a problem only men can fix, but they have no incentive to change a system that benefits them.
13
u/BeduinZPouste 1h ago
Unless you plan to actually rape someone, you get very little from rape culture. Even from the selfish view - you don't want women to be afraid of you.Â
11
u/SunOnTheMountains 1h ago
Rape culture is one aspect of a misogynistic culture that is violent towards women. Men get promoted over more qualified women candidates. Men get paid more. Men do less domestic labor. Mostly men are at the top in corporations and politics. The men who face consequences for domestic violence or rape are very small. Not all men are violent to women, but all men benefit from a system that violence enforces.
12
u/AllieG3 1h ago
I see where youâre trying to come from, but this is false. All men benefit from the privileges afforded by rape culture, whether they want to or not. Rape culture means that ânot being a rapistâ is the baseline for âgood men.â Rape culture allows men to form in-groups based around dehumanizing and otherizing women. Not all 57 men on the Cornell group chat are rapists. But they were all fine making jokes and fostering a culture of camaraderie around the concept of âsluts.â Rape culture allows men to dehumanize women and devalue women who have higher âbody countsâ while avoiding introspection about their own. Rape culture allows for a just world phenomenon about women who are raped. Men do not need to break off friendships with friends accused of rape if they believe the victims deserved it. Men do not need to worry about whether the drunk woman their friend is taking home can consent if they donât see her as equally human.
Rape culture allows men to bond and enjoy friendships with minimal social friction because it paints rapists as some evil guy in an alley and not your good buddy, who is currently pulling a drunk woman into a bedroom.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (12)8
u/StreetCollar2708 1h ago
They can have negative consequences if they do try, in the form of bullying and violence, so they donât try.
Or getting accused of being the violent one. When I was younger, I tried to step in between a man hitting a woman. Someone else had already called the cops. Me and the dude got into a small tussle, and when the cops came, the WOMAN accused me of starting everything. If not for the person who actually called coming to my defense, I'd have gone to jail. Now, I mind my own business.
2
u/k1deki 35m ago
You should understand that she would be punished by that bastard if she didnât try to defend him, you didnât deserve that of course but donât blame the victim.
2
u/Here_for_lolz 31m ago
Should could also not be a piece of shit towards the person actively trying to help her.
22
u/Previous-Artist-9252 3h ago
I mean this question openly and honestly.
How do you expect your average man on the street to shut down this behavior?
I am a 40 year old man and not anywhere near dorms or fraternities. When I was in college, I was often the young woman getting raped so I am hardly blind the fact that these are common occurrences. However, as a middle aged queer trans social worker, I am not involved with men engaging in this behavior.
Or, to paraphrase someone more articulate than me, if there are good men, they are not going to be in the group chat about raping women. Those groups have already self selected those men out of their social organizing. And I am happy to have been selected out of such peer groups.
16
u/MeasurementNovel8907 2h ago
It's simple.
when your friend tells a sexist joke, tell them it isn't funny.
If you don't believe you're involved with men engaging in this behavior, then you are either blind or complicit.
→ More replies (13)7
u/Previous-Artist-9252 2h ago
I actively shut down that behavior. Itâs not funny. Itâs gross and it leads to violence.
How does that make me blind or complicit?
7
u/MeasurementNovel8907 1h ago edited 1h ago
You are denying it happens.
However, as a middle aged queer trans social worker, I am not involved with men engaging in this behavior.
There is absolutely no way in fuck you're a trans social worker and don't observe/have to be involved with men engaging in this behavior. No idea why you are telling such obvious lies, but I suggest therapy. Also, the hidden posts are a dead giveaway that you are lying. You hid them so we can't look at your other posts and see where you're a 29 year old woman supporting Trump, or an 21 year old man afraid of false accusations.
→ More replies (2)8
u/dmvr1601 1h ago
Acting like only bad men go to college parties is crazy but so is denying the fact that it didnt stay in that group chat, a LOT of men who did nothing knew what was going on in that party. And you know it.
No one helped the girls when they were assualting her friend in the bathroom and the dudes blocked their way to help her. You can't honestly believe there weren't other men around just letting that happen.
I'm a man. You are too. We need to own this shit, there are a lot of cowards out there and you're doing nothing to help by being "but im not one of them"
that's the sort of mentality that allows this to happen.
→ More replies (1)13
u/M_A_D-Dominatrix 2h ago
"How do you expect your average man on the street to shut down this behavior?"
My best friend's nephew just beat the snot out of his now ex-friend when he walked into their dorm room & found him raping a young woman, afterwards he called the cops who arrested the rapist & no charges were filed on the nephew, he's lost no friend's except the rapist.
My boyfriend is perfectly happy to shut down misogynistic jokes & behavior in his friend group, the only friends he's lost are a few assholes...what's that phrase đ¤ "if you see something, say something"
I a tiny 5'2 120 lb woman have confronted men to protect women, thankfully it never came to physical blows but that's why I keep a taser & a gun in my purse...it's not that hard to figure out my guy, just stop laughing at the jokes & shut it down when men around you are saying sexist crap, most of the little piss babies who participate in that behavior are starved for male attention anyway & they default to the male authority-PRETEND you're that male authority.
→ More replies (2)12
u/Previous-Artist-9252 2h ago
I see you didnât actually read my comment.
I am not around men who make rape jokes or misogynistic jokes because I donât find them funny and donât tolerate them. That whole last paragraph about social groups and self selection? Itâs about that.
9
u/MeasurementNovel8907 2h ago
I am not around men who make rape jokes or misogynistic jokes
Previously you claimed you were a social worker, so now we know you're full of shit.
1
2
u/RaptorsCdwoods 46m ago
I also just have a hard time accepting âoh, it doesnât happen around meâ from anyone.
1 in 3 women globally have experienced sexual violence. This statistic has been mostly unchanged for the past two and a half decades. Basically my whole life.
The statement âit does not happen around meâ or âI donât see itâ does not make me clear you. It makes me think the only thing youâre looking for is a walking in on a woman screaming ânoâ while this happening and nothing else.
And this is coming off of seeing so many men claim the Cornell 7 case is not rape which only strengthens that point of view.
→ More replies (1)13
u/Coriolanuscangetit 2h ago
If youâve already isolated yourself away from that environment, then the next step is to find ways to support women. Whether itâs verbally or something as simple as keeping an eye out at the grocery store, or supporting women in the workplace, or whatever. This behavior stems from a fundamental lack of respect for women.
→ More replies (7)5
u/M_A_D-Dominatrix 2h ago
Well good thing for you that you're not "men" but one single person & if the rest of them can read then they can read my comment.
1
u/Previous-Artist-9252 1h ago
And yet, my comment was asking for myself what I can do.
5
u/midwestprotest 1h ago
A good step would be to confront other men on Reddit in this thread who donât believe there is a problem. Lots of opportunity for you there, not just as a trans man, but also as an older person potentially speaking to younger people on Reddit.
8
u/I_like_the_word_MUFF 1h ago edited 1h ago
I mean if you're going to openly admit that you are 40 and are impotent to all the things happening outside in the world right now than expect women to continue to move away from men as providers and protectors. I mean, if you are the standard of the average man at 40, then the average man is impotent. A chump. Worthless. Powerless. Unable to inact any change in his world.
Ok. I guess as a woman who actually works in a field that makes a difference in the world daily, I expect more from the men in my life. You can down vote me for that, but honestly as a 40 year old man...weak.
3
u/Previous-Artist-9252 1h ago
I donât think men are âproviders and protectors.â I believe in egalitarianism. I am a third wave feminist.
Itâs interesting though that you use charged and gendered language, labeling me impotent. I am a trans man and by definition, I cannot produce semen. As a survivor of ovarian cancer, I canât reproduce at all. So yes, in this sense I am impotent.
And if reproduction is the only worth someone has, you are reproducing the same harmful rhetoric that is used against women.
5
u/CuntyButCorrect 59m ago
I'm a 30yo trans man and a feminist and I think your views fall very flat. There is always, always, always something we can do. I shut it down when I hear men my age or men younger than me or men older than me degrade women, slut-shame, victim-blame, etc. When other men are blase about women's issues, when my peers denigrate their wives, when I hear that there are inequitible expectations for the finances/reproductive labour divide in their relationships, I speak up.
I've worked with male.youth, and steered them away from manosphere bullshit, have made sure they understand consent, have chewed them out for regurgitating the sexist bullshit they hear from other men.
I have reframed situations for married 40-somethings and vehemently defended the labour their wives put in. I have chewed them out for the attitude that "I'm the one out working so all of the money is mine and I have a final say" (which is an issue for a number of economic reality reasons I don't have the time or energy to get into here).
I act like it is weird when men are weird about women, I call out sexual harassment, I try to educate and empower boys and male youth to do the same.
I'm 5'4, pregnant, gay, and "passing" only goes so far, so keep yourself safe. But when I know that I am being perceived as a man, cis or not, I know that my voice has weight with other men, and I fucking use it. This doesn't start or end at a fraternity. It is endemic in so many parts of our cultures and societies, and there is always something we can say or do to remind other men that they are not mindless animals, and that women are fully human in the exact same way that they are. Always.
→ More replies (8)5
u/I_like_the_word_MUFF 1h ago
All that to say you still can't figure out a way to somehow defend women from the objectification of men
Still impotent
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (3)4
u/tally-strobe 2h ago
This is not an open and honest question.
Starting a question with âHow do you expectâŚâ then moving on to âexcuse blah blah excuse blah blahâ is not an open and honest inquiry.
Try asking âHow can I, a 40 yr old man, stop ignoring or contributing to rape culture?â
My answer would be to stop protecting yourself with excuses, stop acting like your history should abscond you from how youâre currently perceived, treat all women â even invisible women â with respect, call out abusive behavior when you see it, shut down offensive jokes and make sure people know that jokes that punch down are not OK. This is enough. You can use your life experience to add to the list.
13
u/Previous-Artist-9252 2h ago
Itâs quite the bold statement to say that I am either ignoring or contributing to rape culture when the only things you know about me are my age, my profession, the fact that I am trans, and that I am a rape survivor myself.
I donât tolerate rape jokes or misogynistic jokes. I have led professional trainings on DV and sexual violence and I take them very seriously. This is what I meant when I said men will be cut out of social groups that engage in that behavior - I am quite aware that men who do make âjokesâ about violence are not including me in their group texts and I am more than okay with that.
→ More replies (27)3
→ More replies (6)1
5
u/SjakosPolakos 1h ago
Which applies to all people.
It is not the case that only men should police men and only women should police women or something.Â
2
u/CombinationRough8699 22m ago
How exactly are men supposed to "self-police", most rape or DV cases aren't public.
2
u/Mintyytea 2m ago
When friends make jokes about women and domination over women similar to that snapchat free pussy text, try to discourage them from doing that
10
u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 2h ago
I wish the ânot all menâ crowd could self-police as effectively as the No Kings protestors.
What am I, a dude who has never done this, never witnessed this, and never been privy to discussion about planning this sort of thing, going to do to police anyone? Your take is simply not reasonable.
7
→ More replies (6)3
u/AspieAsshole 2h ago
Either you've witnessed things and they've been so normalized you didn't even realize, or you're a rare exception and she's not talking to you.
3
7
u/Wonderful_Store2340 1h ago
I know lots of guys that havenât witnessed it. For the most part we do self police, we call out the shit heads and they become friends with each other.
5
u/MeasurementNovel8907 1h ago edited 7m ago
1 in 3 women are the victims of sexual assault.
Every woman has a story about sexual harassment.
Try making yourself someone your women friends (you do have women friends, right? Cause its a really dead giveaway if you don't have a friends that are women) and ask them about your male friends.
You'll learn things you won't like about people you currently think of as great.
Before you babble oh, what oh what could I possibly do to help, ignoring all the information out there about how to help and the basic lessons learned in kindergarten, put like, two seconds into thinking instead of acting like you're being persecuted for being asked to be a decent human being
It's not rocket science, people.
2
u/Here_for_lolz 19m ago
No one is denying that it happens. We're all asking how you expect us to police it.
2
u/Ashamed-Finding4657 18m ago
See something do something.
Or STFU and don't whine when someone else does.
→ More replies (4)2
u/CombinationRough8699 12m ago
1/3 women being victims of sexual assault, doesn't mean that 1/3 men are perpetrators.
3
u/ChiefMuppetWrangler 1h ago
I think a lot of internet people severely overestimate the frequency of these sorts of things happening in front of others.
I know of an individual who is very well respected in his profession. None of his peers would assume that heâs an abusive piece of crap behind closed doors, that his ex wife would choose to sleep in the car over going to bed after a late shift because he would flip out at her âdisturbing his sleepâ.
Tell me. How are his peers supposed to Police behaviour that occurs behind closed doors, especially when his own exes refuse to bring charges against him? One of whom should know better because theyâre a LEO.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (5)2
u/Open-Building6135 1h ago
It's not a rare exception, even if compile all the stats it's pretty unlikely for the average person to be in a position where they see something ergegious and can act on it. Just counting sexual attacks, abuse and rape there's about 450k cases reported. You can even triple it(which is also unlikely). There's about 300million people in the u,s, It's statistically unlikely you'd encounter a scenario such as this in your day to day life. You trying to say he experienced and just didn't know is an insanely conceited take where you're just invalidating his experience to push your moral point. You should be critcizing people who support the cornell 7 not moral purity testing random individuals so you can feel good about having a moral compass.
3
u/somekindatog 2h ago
I have talked to all of the abusers and rapists in my my social circles (none) and told them to cut it out OR ELSE!
1
1
→ More replies (131)1
u/Money_Research2535 9m ago
I won't prove anything to people that put me in this situation at first place
22
u/SeniorDay 3h ago
Every woman has been sexually threatened but no men personally know any creeps.
12
u/sensistarfish 2h ago
1 in 3 women experience sexual violence but men claim they donât know any assaulters.
They do, but are conditioned to ignore red flags and encouraged to call it âlocker room talk.â
5
u/Joeybfast 1h ago
People say we are don't hang around them, not that we don't know they exist these are two different things .
3
u/No_Masterpiece4693 2h ago
I knew plenty of scum bag guys growing up. I was barely acquaintances with them. I could smell their bs from a mile away. The irony.... The women in the area loved them. And if I implied any negative trait or suspicion in that guy....I WAS called a hater. So.... oh well đ¤ˇââď¸
7
u/sensistarfish 2h ago
Rapists donât usually act like rapists to the women they are trying to rape either.
And oh well is right. You did the right thing and thatâs all that matters.
9
u/somekindatog 2h ago
I mean, I confront creeps so they aren't in my social circles. I stop going to places that tolerate and welcome creeps. So I'm left with a pretty low-creep social circle.
3
2
u/protomenace 2h ago
If 0.1% of men are each harassing 1000s of women, yes, it's completely possible.
1
u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1h ago
Right? People act like each incident of harassment is done by a separate man. As if one man isn't harassing 100 women and the other 99 men are just existing.Â
2
u/Ok_Aardvark2195 51m ago
Itâs hysterical really, that they still donât want to understand that they are also part of the problem. Wanna bet that they âtried to tellâ in the context of getting laid?
→ More replies (2)2
u/hotpajamas 1h ago
how many videos have you seen of men being beaten to the brink of death because they assaulted or harassed a woman in front of other men? you don't think these guys know what will happen to them if they don't do this shit in secret?
2
u/EsseXploreR 46m ago
Ive been on the internet since it started and a man since birth and ive literally never seen that. Ive watched men ignore their friends assaulting girlfriends. Ive heard firsthand how dudes speak when they're in a group of "bro's". Ive never seen a video where a group of men stand up for a woman they dont know.
If they exist, they aren't common.Â
1
u/hotpajamas 17m ago
frankly I just don't believe you. I saw like 2 of these literally yesterday, one where a woman follows a livestreamer because she's being followed and the streamers essentially body block the stalker, then another where some guys yank a guy out of his truck and beat the shit out of him because he's trying to abduct a woman.
there was this famous one from a couple of years ago where a bus stops and a bunch of men get off and beat the shit out of the abuser. these are super common videos so i don't know wtf you've been doing to have not seen them
→ More replies (3)
19
u/thrudvangr 2h ago edited 2h ago
so for the simpletons who pissed and whined "theres no proooof, wah, maga" Shut the fuck up and research. Fuckheads like you are part of the problem.
fashion institue https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/oct/16/new-york-fashion-institute-of-technology-rape-fentanyl-overdose
Undercover police joggers UK https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cz64x92qlpqo
49
u/VFTM 4h ago
There is a woman on the social medias who does a âhere is a list of all the law enforcement officers arrested for sex crimes THIS WEEKâ and she always has tons and tons of content. If men donât want to be thought of as bad, maybe they should stop doing bad things.
→ More replies (32)3
u/shadowtart1738 1h ago
Police will always protect eachother no matter the crime. The problems in our systems run so deep that the only option is an uprising.
56
u/Percyandbeausmama 4h ago
But tell me again how dangerous trans women are.
→ More replies (11)1
u/OkPotential5872 16m ago
Yall missed the point of suprasterâs reply.
When you see a post about cis men assaulting and raping cis women, the reaction should be SUPPORTING and UPLIFTING the victims/survivors of the situation. Trans women are not the victims of THIS situation, cis women are.
But youâre not even making it about trans women being victims, youâre saying âHA! See! Cis men are raping cis women, not trans women!!â which is an awful thing to turn this into.
Donât turn the conversation about cis women being raped by cis men into a conversation about how trans women are victims of social propaganda?? Wtf
I say this as a trans person who is fully aware of the violence trans women face. Itâs just not about us here and itâs selfish. Misogyny affects everyone.
20
u/butt-in-ski 4h ago edited 4h ago
This is an incredibly powerful post by QasimâŚjust need someone to explain what âfamily annihilationsâ means & the timing of âevery 5 daysâ refers to. Sorry, of itâs obvious.
33
u/M_A_D-Dominatrix 2h ago
Men killing their whole family because apparently divorce is scarier than prison or they're embarrassed they lost their job or savings ...some of the "more logical, less emotional" sex are SUPER emotional & irrational
9
u/Cute_Macaroon_4488 1h ago
Some of them genuinely believe that their wife and kids would not survive without him. They will âsufferâ without him (aka center of the universe) so he will end their suffering by killing them instead. Or sometimes you have those Mormons that believe in super heaven and canât enter that if youâre divorced. Death now = straight to super heaven, divorce and die later = still heaven, but like commercial class.
5
26
u/Idaho-Earthquake 4h ago
Youâre probably overthinking it. It simply describes a situation where someone kills their family.
→ More replies (7)
11
u/Lazy-Operation478 3h ago
This is what happens when a country/society is dominated by a hatemomger, who has no respect for women, for over a decade.
"Just grab 'em by the pussy..."
1
u/Ok_Aardvark2195 44m ago
I still canât believe that wasnât disqualifying for anyone with a vagina or anyone who wanted to touch a vagina or anyone who liked ppl with vaginas. It was for almost everyone in my entire extended family except for the ones who where from Flint, MI
1
u/MooseYearner 28m ago
And yet he has gotten 40%+ of the women's votes in the last 3 presidential elections. Can't fix dumb white people
4
7
6
u/Frankyfan3 1h ago
When a man in a situation of abuse of a vulnerable woman speaks up to object, the response from the instigating assaulters is to accuse the objector as "a homo."
That's a 100% common denominator, when there even is a man present enough to speak up. Homophobia as a cudgel to group submission.
And y'all wonder why predators hate the queer folks & allies. If it's not an insult, they lose one major tool for coercion and control.
3
u/lm28ness 40m ago
We wanted Epstein class charged and jailed, but this will also be necessary too. It's time to put all these horrible people in jail where they belong.
3
u/pruneforce17 39m ago
thats why it pmo when people single out cornell like applying to college and not applying to cornell or only boycotting cornell like the issue is that this happens on every college campus everywhere. i WISH it were a cornell-specific issue it would be much easier to fix but no it happens EVERYWHERE!! THATS THE PROBLEM!!!
3
u/Interesting-Bee-153 33m ago
oh you sad sap, dont you see who posted that? QASIM RASHID? obvious MUSLIM or at the very least BROWN person. Getting moral lectures on SA from him is like getting lectured on pro veganism by the liver king. Anyway we all know the Cornell 7 can't be predators because they would never do something like that. That's just not the Cornell 7 I know.
/s
Really REALLY BIG /S
1
u/Major_Arm_6032 26m ago
I think you may want to make your /S bigger for those with poor vision.
It is scary that some people think like this, though.
6
u/Any_Statistician5637 1h ago
As a man, it sucks that men have made this place such a unsafe place for men, women, and children.of course this is not all men, I in a lot like myself stand up for what is right and call out the wrong and hold people accountable unfortunately thereâs not a lot of of us who are willing to go against the grain and call the evil that goes on in the justice that is always being denied. Never stop fighting for your rights, liberty, freedom, and protection!
6
u/SpareRough6228 1h ago
Letâs compare three situations with wildly different circumstances and events. That always ends up well
8
u/Just-Requirements 47m ago
Why would someone stop saying "not all men"? I mean is true statement
→ More replies (1)1
u/Terradusk 5m ago
Because itâs the equivalent of saying âAll lives matterâ like yeah itâs technically true but itâs a bad faith statement that intentionally distracts from the issues present. Ie: women getting raped by men, and black people getting killed by police
6
u/Vegetable_Coat8416 1h ago
Where are all the "No war but class war" posts? I thought gender war was a distraction.
5
u/Witty-Care3940 1h ago edited 1h ago
The problem here is that sexual assault and violence against women is an actual problem in society that needs to be addressed. Just like structural racism.These thing are also intertwined with class war as they prop up hierarchies
The "No war but class war" is more against manufactured outrage by fascists.Things like "Trans women in sports" "Illegal immigrants taking jobs/committing crime" are made up and only serve to support the stays quo
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (1)1
7
u/SteedOfTheDeid 1h ago
"Campus police" should be abolished. All campuses should fall under the jurisdiction of only the regular local PD
17
u/Ezren- 1h ago
It's not like regular local PD care about investigating rape either.
→ More replies (2)6
u/Extension_Local_128 1h ago
I understand your point and I donât disagree per se but that implies that the regular local PD is going to take these cases more seriously and I hate to break it to you but regular local PD would probably handle these things the exact same way unfortunately.
→ More replies (4)3
2
9
u/i_have_a_semicolon 1h ago
These cases are horrific and the men involved should face the full weight of the law. But a few terrible cases can't tell you how common something is. That's what rates are for.
Take "a family annihilation every 5 days." That's about 73 a year, out of roughly 170 million US males, around 1 in 2.3 million. That's almost exactly the estimated rate of neonaticide, mothers killing newborns on the first day of life, at about 75 a year. Nobody posts a list of those cases and says "stop saying not all women," because everyone understands that a few dozen horrific crimes a year don't describe 170 million people.
Where I'd agree is the group of men cheering and blocking her friends. That's a real problem: peer cultures that enable assault instead of stopping it. That's something men can and should push back on. But "stop saying not all men" asks men to accept guilt for crimes they didn't commit. The ask should be to stop tolerating the men who do.
1
u/Ashamed-Finding4657 23m ago
When you hear bout such things and say "not all men" you are dismissing it and making it all about your feelings.
Pathetic.
I ashamed to be associated with men because so many are predators or really soft boys who act tough.
2
u/i_have_a_semicolon 22m ago
I'm a woman, so this isn't about my feelings. And I didn't dismiss anything. I said the men involved should face the full weight of the law, and that the guys cheering outside that bathroom are complicit. My point is that blaming "all men" doesn't help any victim. It lets the specific people and institutions responsible off the hook by spreading the blame across millions of men who had nothing to do with it.
2
u/i_have_a_semicolon 19m ago
Oh, if you're a man and you believe so deeply in "all men", then I hope you are treated that exact way by everyone and society: as a suspect first and a person second. If you wouldn't accept that for yourself, maybe don't demand it for everyone else.
2
u/Surething_bud 12m ago
Saying "all men" as a man... that's an interesting way to self-report as a sexual predator.
→ More replies (1)1
u/Gearthquake3 4m ago
If some soy bitch like you ever starts grouping me in with rapists and abusers, they better be sure their shoes are tied and their hands are up. X2 if they call me âboyâ.
Keep this energy on the internet. It wonât serve you well on the real world.
2
u/Humble-Resolution-62 1h ago
This needs to get upvoted more. Well said.
Especially the last paragraph. I hope commenters will read the whole post instead of reacting negatively to this well articulated response.
Effort was self evident and I agree with your reasonable take. Thank you.
2
u/DifficultMinimumst 1h ago
Nobody is saying not all women? I see plenty of men saying all women are evil/selfish/manipulative/superficial and so on.
Have we forgot how people on Reddit reacted to the Lindsey case just 2 weeks ago?
2
u/i_have_a_semicolon 26m ago
You're making my point for me. Men saying "all women are manipulative" is wrong, and I'd call it out every time. So is a verified commentator telling people to "stop saying not all men" and getting hundreds of upvotes for it.
"Men do it too" isn't a defense. It just means both sides are doing the same wrong thing. If you agree generalizing women based on a few cases like Clancy is wrong, then you already agree generalizing men based on a few cases is wrong. The only question is whether you'll apply that consistently.
And they aren't treated the same. When men generalize women, it's called misogyny, and it should be. When someone says "stop saying not all men," it's treated as moral clarity. Polling backs that up: about 21% of people view young men negatively vs 11% for young women. I'm not asking anyone to excuse the men who generalize women. I'm asking for the same standard both ways.
3
u/No_Try354 1h ago
People are dumb and like to generalize because it's easy. In other news water wet.
→ More replies (33)1
u/snuffaluffagus74 27m ago
That in itself is a organization and an elite thing, majority of crimes like this in college are associated with Fraternities. Majority of these Fraternities are white. So they have the backing of rich and powerful white men that protect them. Also a lot of these Fraternities also are aligned with female Fraternities. By saying all men you're covering up the system in itself that allows this type of behavior along with the Universities
3
u/Shot-Back9448 1h ago
What does it mean "family annihilation every 5 days"
1
u/FormlessJoe 30m ago
Men killing their wives/girlfriends, children and sometimes themselves. Chris Watts is one example
3
4
3
u/Potential-Ad4440 2h ago
I think the conflict comes from the generally anti-male rhetoric of some understandably outraged people. I agree that it distracts from the main issue at hand when someone's first response to a criticism of rape culture is "not all men." But some of the people doing that are reacting to the aforementioned rhetoric, not trying to divert focus from the real the problem. Hopefully we can call out injustice without falling into to the trap of generalizing a whole sex.
I have a feeling this is going to get brutally downvoted.
3
u/Uni4m 1h ago
We also need to remember that until men have the experience to understand the female perspective on this one, it seems inconceivable that their best buddies could be so vile. Pointing your finger and shouting about people who may be associated with the problem alienates the people who don't understand what you are talking about and feel targeted. That's not being an apologist it's the reality of what happens when you yell before you explain- you get a reaction that just drives the divide.
Absolutely people should be outraged. We men should also proudly condemn shady behaviours among our peers. But we need to have the type of communication to gain the perspective required to make those judgements. For example, I strongly condemn IPV and incel-" you owe me woman" attitudes but I didn't know how differently my former pals acted or spoke to women before a female friend brought it up. There have been a few moments like that in life but this one in particular is big enough that the dialogue needs to happen before we start playing the 2010's tumblr screaming game.
1
u/Ok_Aardvark2195 32m ago
You think we should stop and empathize with the perpetrator and his friends because men have not traditionally been the ones victimized so they donât have the ability to empathize bc they have traditionally been the victimizers?
1
u/Ok_Aardvark2195 35m ago
If their first thought to hearing that someone was raped is to protect theirselves, then they deserve to be dragged for being selfish.
1
u/Potential-Ad4440 33m ago
I think that's most people's instinct when they're directly attacked, not just men. You can't be uniquely outraged at men for doing something everyone does.
Also, why isn't it also on activists to make sure they don't veer into overgeneralizing or villainizing a group of people in their rhetoric?
4
2
5
u/Known-Exam-9820 2h ago
The âstop saying not all menâ statement is completely disconnected and strange to attach to these crimes. The issue isnât men or being male, or even men holding one another accountable. The issue is we live in a corrupt society where some people feel entitled and protected to commit heinous crimes.
And Iâve already pushed the assaulters and gropers out of my life and called them out and no one gave a damn, so how do i as a man affect this at all, other than trying to be a good influence?
8
u/tzaeru 1h ago edited 1h ago
The "not all men" is really about the reactionary answer to cases about violence and abuse committed by men, wherein some people try to downplay the issue by deflection.
It just isn't an useful or a constructive way to go about it, hence needn't be used.
I kinda liked the inversion, "yes all women" - as in, saying that all women are affected by harassment and abuse and rape, since even if one isn't themselves abused, it still creates a sense of danger and worry when e.g. going about alone at night.
2
u/Known-Exam-9820 1h ago edited 1h ago
Thank you. I agree with the sentiment of the saying, but i honestly think posts like this one are just a distraction and counterproductive. Some would say it keeps the conversation going, but i think it just derails it.
Like everything else in society, the root of the issue is over privilege, power, money, racism and yes, misogyny. Iâm not defending any of the monsters that enact and enable sexual assault, but making it about sloganeering feels more like a psyop to discredit and maim any positive momentum in dealing with those issues.
2
u/tzaeru 1h ago edited 55m ago
I'd def agree that we should be able to see the shared systems behind many issues more clearly; And I think it really does boil down to basically power in the majority of societal issues. Wealth inequalities are about keeping and amassing power, misogyny is about men wanting power over women, etc
Whenever one group feels entitled to having power over another - whatever the mechanism, from ethnicity to wealth, gender to party membership - problems ensue, and humanity is the worse for it.
1
u/SirWhateversAlot 16m ago
The "not all men" is really about the reactionary answer to cases about violence and abuse committed by men, wherein some people try to downplay the issue by deflection.
The original post/image references men performing family annihilation, which describes less than 100 men annually in a country with 150 million men. The image then tells us to stop saying "not all men" in reference to something 99.99999% of men don't even do.
I cannot think of anywhere else I see the behavior of 0.00001% of a group being applied to the rest of the group.
How is calling out this mad "logic" deflection? It is beyond stupid and should not be tolerated.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)1
u/Clear_Peach6805 2h ago edited 1h ago
Every woman who I have met in real life that says âall menâ does not attribute that to me. Hell they donât even treat stranger men in a negative way, they just donât give them the time of day. Dudes who get upset at it need to really just look at themselves and think about why âall menâ is even a saying.
If as a man youâre more upset at a woman saying âall menâ rather than the reason why they are saying it, then you gotta reevaluate.
Edit: For all the men replying upset about the use of âall menâ you are exactly who I am talking about lol Instead of using your energy to police the men who are the reason for âall menâ existing you rather get mad at the use of âall menâ. Reevaluate.
2
3
u/samehouseing 1h ago
â Every white woman who I have met in real life that says âall black menâ does not attribute that to me. Hell they donât even treat stranger black men in a negative way, they just donât give them the time of day. Black Dudes who get upset at it need to really just look at themselves and think about why âall black menâ is even a saying. If as a black man youâre more upset at a white woman saying âall black menâ rather than the reason why they are saying it, then you gotta reevaluate.â
Same exact quote, just added racial identities to show how absolutely fucked this sounds.Â
→ More replies (9)1
u/Ok_Aardvark2195 29m ago
Itâs every male presenting human, I dont discriminate based on skin tone sex assigned at birth
→ More replies (1)2
u/GospoK 1h ago
Can someone not be upset that this occurs and also be upset that they are being lumped in with the offenders? I'm just some loser that nobody has and nobody will ever listen to or take seriously. However, I care deeply about these issues. What exactly do I personally need to do, to not be lumped in the same group as literal rapists?
3
u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1h ago
The problem exists when it's the only acceptable instance of sweeping generalization. If we held all Indian men accountable for the actions of bad Indian men. We'd be racist as fuck.
→ More replies (11)2
1
u/Shikatsuyatsuke 1h ago
Idiotic take. Words and language hold power.
As man whoâs never done any of the vile acts that âall menâ get accused of by these kinds of women, I have no intention of just standing by while guys like me who are actively virtuous in their conduct get lumped together with some of the literal most disgusting behavior a male can be capable of.
I donât care that some women have these awful experiences if it becomes justification to normalize putting me and other upstanding men like me in such a vile category to be treated with extreme prejudice regardless of my actual character and actions.
Itâs already ridiculous how normalized this kind of language has become in the first place.
You act like itâs a problem that men like me are taking issue with these âall menâ statements as though it isnât a big deal. But itâs been happening for years now. Itâs been affecting our lives and the way we get perceived. Men like me have still been doing our part in calling out bad behavior, dealing with it in our circles, etc. Iâve literally been proactively pushing back against problematic male behavior since I was in elementary school.
I have a core memory of one of my buddies back in the 6th grade walking behind some female friends of ours and the guy putting out his hand to jokingly cop a feel of her butt. I instinctively slapped his hand away before the girl noticed and glared him down from doing it again.
Yeah, I take issue with getting lumped in with problematic male behavior. Yeah it pisses me off. Your take here is genuinely idiotic. There is no rational or moral reason I should feel obligated to allow myself to get lumped in with behaviors that I actively condemn and consider to be vile.
1
u/Known-Exam-9820 1h ago
Modeling your beliefs around blanket statements doesnât serve anyone, let alone the causes that you and I both advocate for.
→ More replies (4)1
u/YungReezy217 27m ago
Yeah, generalizations are dope. And don't occlude your actual point at all. /s
Fuckwit.
"Why don't you glean the meaning behind my words instead of actually listening to the words?"
^ literally you
2
u/BlackBeard558 2h ago
It's not all men, stop saying it is. Men are not a hive mind or responsible for what strangers do just because they share a gender
→ More replies (57)
0
u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 2h ago
I will keep saying not all men because, guess what, I haven't done anything of the sort and don't know anyone who has.
6
u/AnonymousSneetches 1h ago
And we'll tell you to save your breath, act like a good one, and stop wasting everyone's time. If you aren't one of those men, you would see that that urgency to stop an issue of this scale is more important than you denying responsibility. Like, hundreds of thousands of women are raped and assaulted annually, and you're more worried about you.
4
u/SjakosPolakos 1h ago
Does making incorrect generalizations on all men help reduce the amount of women raped?
→ More replies (9)2
1
u/RabbitBasic5438 6m ago
No not really. I go onto the internet to argue about the what's true or not. If you want to have a grown up discussion about how to reduce crime, you guys aren't doing it right. Step one create a slogan that doesn't piss off potential allies. Ope, seems you failed there
1
1
u/Worth-Confection-735 1h ago
We all know the reason these incidents arenât all over the news like those Cornell boys.
1
1
1
1
u/Open-Beautiful9247 12m ago
Look. Not that it wasn't terrible , but let's keep the facts straight. She voluntarily took the drugs. They raped her. They didnt drug her.
1
1
1
u/Max_Floory 10m ago
So this guy is a rapist according to the things he wrote. Probably we should put him in jail because of his crime and never listen to him again
1
1
â˘
u/Timbucktwo1230 đŤ Mod âď¸ 2h ago