I wish the ânot all menâ crowd could self-police as effectively as the No Kings protestors. I remember seeing a few videos where the protestors were peacefully doing their thing until one dude tried to incite violence or vandalism, at which point the rest of the protestors turned on that dude, called him out, kicked him out of the group and turned him over to police.
The best way to prove that âIâm not like thatâ and keep your own identity distinct from the bad actors you want to avoid being associated with is to shut that kind of shit down immediately upon recognition.
How do you expect your average man on the street to shut down this behavior?
I am a 40 year old man and not anywhere near dorms or fraternities. When I was in college, I was often the young woman getting raped so I am hardly blind the fact that these are common occurrences. However, as a middle aged queer trans social worker, I am not involved with men engaging in this behavior.
Or, to paraphrase someone more articulate than me, if there are good men, they are not going to be in the group chat about raping women. Those groups have already self selected those men out of their social organizing. And I am happy to have been selected out of such peer groups.
Acting like only bad men go to college parties is crazy but so is denying the fact that it didnt stay in that group chat, a LOT of men who did nothing knew what was going on in that party. And you know it.
No one helped the girls when they were assualting her friend in the bathroom and the dudes blocked their way to help her. You can't honestly believe there weren't other men around just letting that happen.
I'm a man. You are too. We need to own this shit, there are a lot of cowards out there and you're doing nothing to help by being "but im not one of them"
that's the sort of mentality that allows this to happen.
Where did i say only bad men go to college parties?
I said I donât go to college parties. Which is true. I donât. The only parties I go to are generally dinner parties hosted by my friends. Sex doesnât happen at those.
The assumption that this is just how every man lives his life is part of the problem. I go to work, go grocery shopping, make dinner, and go to bed. I see my friends a couple of times a month and the doctors a lot more. I donât engage with men who make sex jokes and I spend more time writing and making art.
Those idi0ts have like one template for how men act, which is some caricature learned from movies, tiktok and their own prejudice and then try to fit everyone into that frame. They can't even comprehend that there are millions upon millions of men who just go to work, come back home to their wives and chldren and spend quality time with them or sometimes they would hang out with like-minded men doing no harm to anyone.
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u/wasted-degrees 13h ago
I wish the ânot all menâ crowd could self-police as effectively as the No Kings protestors. I remember seeing a few videos where the protestors were peacefully doing their thing until one dude tried to incite violence or vandalism, at which point the rest of the protestors turned on that dude, called him out, kicked him out of the group and turned him over to police.
The best way to prove that âIâm not like thatâ and keep your own identity distinct from the bad actors you want to avoid being associated with is to shut that kind of shit down immediately upon recognition.