It’s funny how someone you were never really with can still become part of your routine. No label, no commitment, no promises. So technically, what exactly are you supposed to expect?

You get used to the random conversations, late-night talks, and seeing their name pop up on your phone. It starts casually enough, until talking to them becomes just another part of your day.

You learn their little quirks, their changing moods, and the days when they’re not exactly the easiest person to deal with. It’s not that complicated when you know how to adjust. But then again, not everything needs to be figured out, and not every situation needs to be maintained.
Eventually, you just go back to doing your own thing. No announcements, no explanations, no need to make it deeper than it was.

Sometimes, all it takes is a little distance and a change in routine. You redirect your attention, find other things to occupy your time, and life goes on as usual.

No label, no commitment, no big deal. Just out of sight, out of mind, and on to the next.

-is it just me, or normal lang ba talaga nangyayari to sa wlw?

Problem: Does anyone have any suggestions on which dating app I should use?

Context: I am a college student and recently try on dating, atl first I was planning to just find other sapphics like me and to try possibly getting a date from them. But most of them unfortunately are already taken in my campus 🥲

I am now considering trying to find a date via online applications, but I’m not that well adverse to online dating and I don’t know which app to use to get myself a gf. Nakkuu, desperadong desperado na akoo!!!!

Please someone give me some best options

⚠️ Looong post ahead ✌🏻

Problem/Goal:

I'm a 35-year-old woman in a relationship with another woman who's 38. We've been together for 10 years now, and for roughly the past five years, I've wanted us to live together and start building a life as a couple.

I love her, and I don't necessarily want to break up. But I'm starting to question whether we're truly compatible in terms of what we want from life, and this situation has been weighing on me emotionally.

Context:

Here's the situation. My girlfriend is the eldest in her family. Her parents are seniors, and her father has health issues that require regular medical attention, including checkups. Her family is also helping care for the baby of one of her younger siblings, who works away from home and only comes home on weekends. Because of this, the baby relies heavily on the grandparents for support.

I understand that she has significant family responsibilities. I'm not asking her to abandon her parents or disregard their needs. I recognize that her situation is complicated, and I understand why she might feel obligated to stay involved in her family's life. At the same time, I've been wanting to build a life with my partner for years. I'm now 35, and I want the kind of relationship where we share a home, have everyday routines together, make decisions as a couple, and are consistently present in each other's lives.

Our current arrangement is that she comes home to stay with me approximately once a month. Sometimes she stays for two or three weeks, while other times she only stays for a couple of days. When we're together, she does things that make me feel she wants a future with me. We can enjoy our time together, and I can picture what our life might look like if we lived together permanently.

But when she leaves, we're back to our separate lives. And despite having these stretches of time together, it's still not the same as actually sharing a life with someone.

I've tried asking her about our future and whether we'll eventually live together. The problem is that I don't feel like I'm getting clear answers that help me understand what to expect. I don't know whether she genuinely wants the same future but feels trapped by her responsibilities, whether she wants it but can't imagine when it would happen, or whether she's comfortable with our current arrangement and doesn't really want to change it.

I sometimes feel that her family situation has become a reason she never has to give me a definitive answer. I don't know if that's fair to her, and I don't want to assume she's intentionally avoiding commitment. But after wanting this for around five years, I'm struggling with the uncertainty.

The difficult part is that I don't think I want to break up with her. I love her, and I don't want to lose her. But I also don't want a relationship where my partner isn't consistently available when I need her. I know nobody can be available 24/7, and I'm not expecting that. What I want is a partner who's a dependable part of my everyday life, someone I can turn to and share life's ordinary moments with without our time together always depending on when circumstances allow it.

I want to feel like we're actively building something together, rather than waiting indefinitely for the right circumstances to come along.

Sometimes I feel selfish for wanting this when she has a father with health issues and aging parents who need support. I know her family needs her, too. I don't want to put her in a position where she feels she has to choose between me and her family.

But I also wonder: How long am I supposed to put my own needs on hold? Is it wrong to want more from my relationship when my partner has legitimate responsibilities that make it difficult for her to give me what I want?

There are also practical reasons why the thought of breaking up scares me.

We have a mutual circle of friends. Most of these friendships originally came through her, although we've become close to these people ourselves. I'm afraid that breaking up might mean losing not only my partner but also the friendships and social circle we've built together.

One of her close friends is also my neighbor. I've already committed to a mortgage, so moving somewhere else isn't a realistic option for me right now. Even if the relationship ended, I'd still have to navigate the possibility of seeing her friends regularly and dealing with the awkwardness of a shared social circle.

I know these shouldn't necessarily be the reasons I stay in a relationship, but they're part of what makes the situation feel more complicated.

What makes this particularly difficult is that I can see both sides.

I can understand why she feels responsible for her family. I can see that she makes an effort to come home and spend time with me. I don't want to dismiss those things or act as though she does nothing for our relationship. But I also know that what we currently have isn't enough for me. And I feel guilty admitting that because I know she's dealing with circumstances that aren't necessarily easy to change.

I don't know whether I should be more patient, whether I should have a more serious conversation with her about setting a realistic timeline, or whether I need to accept that love alone might not be enough if we want different things from life.

Thinking about this situation sometimes sends me into a spiral, and it's emotionally exhausting. I don't want to make a decision based on fear, frustration, or a particularly difficult day. I want to understand my situation more clearly and make a decision I can live with.

I'd appreciate honest advice, especially from people who've been in long-term relationships where one partner has significant family obligations. A few questions I'm struggling with:

\- Am I being selfish or unreasonable for wanting to live with my partner and build a shared life together, even though I understand her family responsibilities?

\- How do you distinguish between a partner who genuinely wants a future with you but is dealing with difficult circumstances and a partner who is comfortable keeping the relationship as it is?

\- After approximately five years of wanting this, is it reasonable to ask for a concrete plan or timeline, even if the timeline is flexible?

If she genuinely cannot commit to living together for the foreseeable future, how do I decide whether I can accept that without building resentment?

\- Has anyone ended a relationship they still deeply loved because their long-term needs weren't compatible? How did you deal with the grief, especially when you shared the same friends and social circle?

\-How do I make this decision without letting my fear of losing her, our mutual friends, and the life I've built around the relationship make the decision for me?

I'm not looking for people to tell me that she's a bad partner or that I should immediately leave her. I love her, and I know the situation is complicated.

I just need an outside perspective because I'm struggling to figure out whether I'm asking for too much or whether I've been trying so hard to understand her circumstances that I've stopped giving my own needs enough consideration.

Thank you for reading. 🥲💔

Context: my gf (31) and i (26) have been together for 17 months. we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs but this time’s different. my gf has been part of a frat since her law school days and she’s been really active (which i fully support); however, a month ago, i saw a message pop up on her fb from a guy she’s been talking to sa frat niya asking “kumain ka na ba?” i saw and felt how my gf tensed up and quickly closed her laptop.

i brought this up that same night since i wanted to know what that was all abt. her response was she didn’t rlly know how to approach men who were hitting on her since it was her first time and she didn’t know how to bring it up to me yet. for context, i kind of crashed out seeing that msg bc it led to me stalking the guy and checking the pics from the social gatherings attended by my gf with her frat. and from all that, i saw that the guy was either beside or behind her.

i brought all of this up and she said there was nothing going on and that it was purely professional since they were both the vice chair. we were able to sort this out that same week.

Problem: now, i trust my gf but she hasn’t been truthful since 2 or 3 days ago. my gf being the vice chair of this frat has been planning for a formal gathering and i’m so so proud of her bc she got to plan and organize such an event. but she’s been hiding things from me. i know because i checked her phone for the first time after being together for 17 months. i trust her but i wanted to make sure. i simply searched up the name that i didn’t like seeing and lo and behold, he asked if need niya ng sundo and she said yes because she has a lot to bring to the event. i thought ok gets naman para di siya mahirapan. so i asked my gf how she was gonna get there to be sure that she was being honest with me and she said a different name. my heart dropped that instant but i kept it to myself bc what if her plans changed kung sino susundo sa kanya diba?

fast forward, i asked her again if she was hiding anything from me or even omitting out some details but she said she’s not hiding anything and that she won’t do anything to jeopardize the trust i gave her. so, i checked her phone one last time again today and i couldn’t find the guy’s name so i searched it up. the chat was restricted. i back read their messages and yes, siya pa rin talaga sumundo sa kanya for their frat event. they stayed there overnight and siya din naghatid sa kanya pauwi.

my question is why would she keep on lying about this when she’s been the most gentle and sweetest gf i’ve ever had? she knows i dont feel comfortable dun sa guy na yun but why would she keep this from me? she’s not even mentioning him to me anymore. i’m so confused and my heart is aching so much that idk what to do anymore. i plan to talk to her when she gets home from work today but i need some advice so pls help a girlie out :(

Problem/Goal: I need tips pano magmove on from someone na you love so much but got cheated on

Context: It happened few days ago lang, we broke up kasi nanlamig siya sakin for like 1-2 months and nahuli ko na she cheated on me and pinagsabay kami. I just love this person so much but sobrang sakit ng ginawa niya. I miss this person but at the same time ayoko na bumalik kasi feel ko isusumbat ko lang sakanya yung panloloko na ginawa niya sakin. Sobrang bigat i don’t even know what to do at this point. Everything feels empty. I miss the version of us na i was being loved.

Para akong umiikot sa stages of grief. I just wanted to be loved, nagmahal lang ako nasaktan pa. Maslumala pa yung trust issues ko right now kasi kung hindi ko pa mahuli hindi ko pa malalaman. Sobrang sakit pls give tips. Pano ko maiwasan na mamiss tong tao na toh? How long did it take you to heal from this kind of situation?

Problem/Goal: Paano ba mag-move on sa (semi) ka-talking stage na wala namang nangyari talaga?

Context: Sabi ko mawawala rin 'to basta i-maintain ko lang 'tong no contact. Committed naman ako sa ginagawa ko, wala namang hiccup. Ang kaso, one year na this month simula nung una kaming nagkausap, wala pa rin talab!!

Eh may nakikita ako dito mga 5 to 6 years daw bago nakamove on sa situationship nila T_T. Seryoso ba kayo?? So highkey, natatakot ako. Malapit na ako mag-30s. Ayoko naman ng ganun.

Namimiss ko na magkaroon ng relationship ulit sa totoo lang, pero ayoko ng ganito pa rin nararamdaman ko sa kanya tapos kakausap ako ng iba.

Feeling ko nga nagch-cheat ako pag naiisip ko na kumilala ng iba--hindi naman kami nag-uusap! May tawag ba dito? Need ko ba therapy? Hindi ko makita yung magandang ending ng sitwasyon ko.

Bakit hindi na kami nag-uusap? Kasi feeling ko di naman niya ako gusto/magugustuhan, so tinigil ko na agad at ayoko naman sayangin oras namin parehas.

Minsan feeling ko nagpaparainig siya sa IG (dito kami nag-connect from Reddit), pero ang hirap naman mag-assume (at malaki naman talaga chance na delulu lang ako, diba?).

Ang sure ko lang, hindi ako ever magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob mag-reach out ulit dahil di na kaya ng self-esteem ko sa totoo lang.

Nung nag-post ako sa R4R, last hoorah ko na sabi ko sa sarili. If di mag-work, papahinga muna ako. Eh anong tawag dito? Walang kausap pero isang taon nang nga nga?

Gusto ko na lang mawala nararamdaman ko, at magsimula ulit. Gusto ko i-work out 'tong nararamdaman ko before matapos ang taon.

Iba rin kasi yung pressure ngayong holidays. Sanay na ako mag-isa, pero parang di ko tanggap na mag-holidays nang may iniisip. Yun din kasi issue ko, sobrang independent ko kaya naninibago ako.

Mabigat din sa akin dahil nga mag-30s na ako. Baka yung mga ka-edad ko or yung mga nalagpasan yung ganito, may mabigay kayong perspective.

problem: I wish my gf took me out more

Context: She and I are 26/F and we’ve been together for 2 years now and every week we hang out 2 times and we never really plan anything just have dinner or lunch and window show and all. We just hang out??? she doesn’t really plan anything or take me out anymore or do anything special. Sometimes I feel like I get bored and that she always just waits for me to suggest something cause im the one driving all the time since I have a car…

problem: the dildo we currently have is not stiff and hard enough for us while our harness-type strap keeps on slipping down and is a kind of a hassle to keep adjusting/fixing in the middle of sex.

context: hi fellow wlws ! my gf and i need your help on what straps and dildos you guys would recommend. we've tried a regular silicone dildo (iirc it was like ₱300 lang) from midoko and we feel it's quite flimsy (?) we'd appreciate something stiffer and less jelly-like. and as for the strap itself, we tried the garter type and since ma-balakang kami both so mej masikip siya. we have the harness type now (yung hinihila to tighten) pero as we move bumababa siya dbjshdhdbdbs so we wanna have one that stays in place and is comfy. we'd greatly appreciate any recos or tips !

thank u so much in advance !!

Problem: Paano ba dapat? Gaano ba dapat katagal makipag usap bago lumandi (either ldr or not)? Paano pag di ako fast paced huhu. And kailan ba dapat makipag meet up?

Context: I've been talking to this person sa app pero wala pang harhar effect. I like taking my time kung gusto ko ba yung tao bago lumandi kaya lang feeling ko pag tumagal na puro usap lang baka maging hanggang friends lang.

Problem/Goal:

I’ve been wanting to get a copy of Sunburn by Chloe Michelle Howarth and would prefer an authentic, officially published edition. I came across a listing online, but I’m not sure if the copy is authentic. I’m hoping someone can help me verify it or recommend where I can buy a legitimate copy here in the Philippines.

Context:

I’ve already checked Fully Booked and National Book Store, but the book doesn’t seem to be available there. I’d appreciate any recommendations for trusted sellers or other places where I could find an authentic copy. Thank you!

Hi, I have a confession to make.

It’s been almost eight years since my ex-girlfriend and I went our separate ways, but somehow, a part of me is still waiting for her. I’ve tried talking to other people, pero parang hindi talaga nagwo-work out. No matter how much time passes, I still think about her especially when the Christmas season and “ber months” come around.

Those months hold so many memories of us. The laughter, the moments, the love we had something that still lingers in my heart. Maybe that’s why this time of year always brings me back to her.
Last year, I found out through a common friend that she had been dating someone for years. I won’t lie it hurt. But over time, I learned to keep those feelings tucked away.

I continued living my life, building stability, establishing my career, and eventually having a place of my own. Still, every now and then, I find myself missing her. Maybe it’s because she was my first girlfriend. Or maybe first love really does leave a mark that never completely fades.

I’ve achieved many of the things I once dreamed of, yet there’s still an emptiness I can’t quite explain. Sometimes, I wonder if I’ve truly moved on or if I’ve simply learned how to live with missing her.
Will I ever find that kind of love again? The kind that stays with you, even after eight years of silence?

I guess first love really never dies.

Corny, pero baka nga. Hahaha.

Problem/Goal: My girlfriend's workmate is super clingy and touchy with her, especially at work.

Context: So I have a girlfriend (we're wlw) and she's been working for almost 2 years. I'm used to her getting close to her workmates, and honestly, we haven't had any problems until now when suddenly there's this workmate (a girl) who's super clingy and touchy with her. At first, it didn't bother me and I didn't really check her messages, especially about work. Then there was this one time I glanced at her chat, and actually, it was a group chat with her close workmates, and she was typing, "Good job, baby! We'll kiss tomorrow." She was referring to that girl. I got jealous and this was the first time I truly felt jealous of that person because she's not like that with anyone else. Even with her long-time friends, she's not like that. Since then, I found out that they're really clingy at work, like kissing, hugging, and being all over each other which I don't know if I should feel upset about because I know my girlfriend. She's not like that with her previous workmates who she also got close to, and she never mentioned to me that they were so clingy and touchy at work. I confronted her about it, and she said it's different because of their closeness with that girl. She even compared it to how I am with my friends sometimes (mind you, we’ve been friends since elementary, the ones she was talking about), and that girl has only been working with her for less than 8 months and she also has a boyfriend who's a guy. Is this normal? Am I just overthinking? Haha

I JUST WANT TO KNOW YOUR OPINION ABOUT THIS SITUATION??

add ko lang guys na ang alam nung girl na kawork niya ay break na kami and single siya kasi nagsend gf ko sa kaniya na post about “kunwari lowkey pero break na pala” then nagtanong yung girl if dinelete na ba raw niya mga pics namin and my gf said yes kaya ayon deleted na lahat sa ig niya pero before yan nag-away kami ng gf ko and naglead siya sa almost breakup pero hindi naman natuloy and nagkaayos din kami eh that time nag-open pala siya diyan sa girl about sa away namin and kaya niya nasend ‘yung post wahahaha nakakabaliw

problem: was it right to let go of my situationship instead of trying to ask her to stay?

context:
i had a 5-month situationship, and we stopped talking a week ago due to many circumstances that can hinder to our development.

during our time together, it was fun. like first time we talked we already clicked na agad with our similar interests, and we had a few dates here and there and we weren’t really rushing into things so yeah no label kami. and we were really getting to know each other genuinely haha

now, on a random sunday, she told me through text na we should stop talking na. mainly because she wasn’t in the right state mentally, like she’s feeling down and crying a lot. she told me parts of it before pero she didn’t tell me how bad it was, pero she explained naman na ayaw nya na puro ako yung sumasalo ng mga rants nya. i was willing naman e, we used to do that naman both ways noon pero i prefer being the listener. other than that, hindi nya rin daw kaya linawin sa sarili nya kung ano kami since she’s struggling mentally nga.

besides the internal struggles, she doesn’t want to deny me sa family nya na we were more than friends. like she’s feeling guilty for lying to them pero kasi it was our only option back then since her family is not very supportive with the idea of her dating women. pero kasi i already told her na i’m fine pretending we’re just friends in front of her family :(((((

so ayun, i decided na lang to let her go pero parang it doesn’t feel right kahit it’s for the better for the both of us. and hindi nya rin ako tinanggal sa mga social media nya, like mutuals pa rin kami so i can still see reposts and stories. and ayun, some of her reposts are literally about yearning. nasabi rin sa akin ng common friend naming dalawa na miss nya rin ako so parang it feels wrong na pinakawalan ko sya pero kasi i don’t think i could’ve said anything na would’ve made her stay kasi she probably took long making that decision.

i’m trying my best not to break no-contact, and hindi talaga ako nauuna magreach out normally pero i kind of want to. it doesn’t help din na mutuals kami sa tiktok and nililike nya yung ibang reposts ko so like nagnonotif yung account nya sa akin.

so, again. was it the right thing to let her go? or dapat ba triny ko pa ipaglaban back then?

I just wanted to let this out for once, and it’s the first and last one. /wrote this while listening to The Scientist

I like you so much.

It started as just a crush. I liked the way you carried yourself, your intelligence, and your commitment to everything you do. But somewhere along the way, I started falling for the things I admired about you. And I fucking hate how much I love everything I see in you.

Now, I’m a mess.

I had already decided that I wasn’t going to develop feelings for anyone because I know I’m not in the right place to be in a relationship. I have so many things I want to achieve, so many things I still need to figure out for myself.

And I know myself too well. When I love someone, I love deeply. I don’t love halfway. I don’t leave when things get difficult. When I choose someone, I choose them with the intention of staying.

And now, look at me.

My heart and mind are a fucking mess.

I like you so much that I’ve unconsciously started including you in my future. I catch myself thinking about the things I need to achieve, as if I need to become someone better to deserve you. Someone who can take care of you. Someone who can be your safe space, the person you can come home to when the world gets too heavy.

And that’s what scares me the most.

Because how can I be making room for someone in a future when I know they were never really an option in the first place?

You’re not available. You’re someone I shouldn’t have allowed myself to fall for, and I fucking hate myself for feeling this way when I know better.

My mind knows what to do. It knows the boundaries I should respect, the reality I should accept, and the distance I need to keep.

I am not usually this kind of person. I know when to walk away from something that I know I shouldn’t pursue.

But my heart?

My heart keeps yearning for you.

Every. Fucking. Day.

And I hate it. I hate that I can understand the situation perfectly and still feel this way. I hate that knowing better doesn’t make the feelings disappear. I hate that a part of me keeps imagining possibilities that I know I shouldn’t entertain.

So now, I think I need to disappear for a while. Not just from you, but from the places and people that might bring me closer to you. Because I don’t know how to make these feelings go away while I’m constantly reminded of you.

And maybe that’s the saddest part of all.

I have to distance myself from something that makes me happy because I know it’s something I cannot have.

It hurts. It really fucking hurts.

But sometimes, doing the right thing means choosing the pain you know you can survive over the possibility of a happiness that was never yours to begin with.

So, as much as I like you, as much as my heart keeps looking for reasons to stay, I think I need to choose myself this time.

Not because my feelings aren’t real.

But because they are.

niloloko ko (24F) siya (25F) na nagkita na ba sila nung isa niyang babae, kasi she’s going home na sa kanila and may work na uli siya tom. tapos ayan na nireply sakin. napa “huy” na lang ang reply ko haha.

we’re almost half a year together na, and to tell you honestly, never kami nagkaroon ng pagseselosan sa isa’t-isa. because we’re both secured with each other already. naging biruan lang namin yung mga “may babae ka siguro” “uuwi ka na sa legal wife mo” yung mga moments na ganon. we always make sure na sapat na kami para sa isa’t-isa. she never made me feel insecure, and i am too to her.

lagi kaming may assurance na sinasabi sa isa’t-isa. and i’d say we both deserved each other, given how fucked up our past relationships is. i’ve been single for 8 years before ako nagkaroon ng tulad niya. i deserve her so much.

to my person, i know you’re a lurker here, i know you love reading things i post here. i’d never shut up when it comes to you. i love you so muchie.

Problem/Goal:
How to not yearn for someone?

Context:
NGSB here and I think that’s part of why I catch myself yearning for a partner. Right now I’m so focused on getting my life together and building my future. Being in a relationship isn't even on my priority list.

The feeling still creeps in. It’s strange wanting intimacy and connection while knowing you aren't really ready for it.

For those who have been through this, how do you handle that constant underlying craving for love when you know you need to focus on yourself first? 🫠

Problem: We are not seeing each other for almost 3 months, nagcchat pero not often kase I'm busy at work, busy din siya sa work. I just want her na maginitiate na makipagkita saakin but she always have reasons.

Context: Both 24F. We've been together since college pa. We are not out yet, but planning once financially stable na kami both. So, dati na naming problem to, noong college hindi kami makapagkita often since palagi siya may reasons: di pinayagan ni tita at alam ko naman daw na mahirap situation niya sa bahay. From time to time, ganon reasons niya at naiintindihan ko. Masyadong strict family niya, at yung parents ko naman hindi masyado, basta wag uuwi ng gabi.

Fast forward to last year ko na sana sa college. Hindi kami sabay gumraduate ng college kase nadelay ako ng 1 year, that time I needed comfort sakanya, grabe ako magyearn sa relationship namin pero ending wala din. I told her na bakit pagdating saakin parang mahirap? She always say ganito situation sa family, ganyan. Pero naalala ko noong nagwwork siya sa mall, gagawin ko lahat para lang makapaglakad ako papuntang mall (like malayo talaga siya) para lang madalhan ko siya ng pagkain niya, na pwede ko naman pangkain na lang. Di ko alam pero bat parang mahirap pagdating saakin? Yung dates namin parang pilit pa, parang minsan ang bilis pa namin or nagmamadali kami.

Ngayon sa present time, we are both working, first job ko after grad. Huling kita namin parang July before siya magstart sa new work niya. I said okay, alright naiintindihan ko. So ayun, October na hindi pa kami nagkikita ulit and honestly, napapagod na din ako umintindi sa situation niya. Naiintindihan ko naman may problems siya, kaya tinutulungan ko siya, pero pagdating saakin parang wala? Naiintindihan ko side niya, pero di ko naman maiwasan manlamig, kase parang araw araw convo namin puro "nandito na ako sa office", "nakain na ako" or "nakasakay na ako pauwi". Hindi na kami nakakapagpahinga sa isa't isa and it sucks. Ayaw ko din naman manlamig pero walang affection, walang quality time at walang intimacy, as in wala lahat.

I know na we are not the same kaya hinahabaan ko talaga pasensya ko sakanya at I always try na maging present for her, pero saakin bakit wala :(( So ayun, need some advices or gusto ko lang din ilabas feelings ko.

problem/goal: i want to come out but idk how to

context: I'm 23F and I have a very good relationship with my parents. And because they've been so good to me, pinapalampas ko nalang yung konting flaws nila. I'm not 100% sure sa magiging reaksyon nila, but based on how they seem to just tolerate queer people, I don't have high hopes. Sinubukan kong i-soft launch sa mommy ko yung sexuality ko by saying "I don't like boys" and "Never ako mag u-uwi ng lalaki sa bahay" but I don't think she understands what I'm trying to imply. Or baka ayaw niya lang isipin deep down. Never pa kasi ako nag show ng interest in dating.

I had a secret relationship nung college but we broke up kasi I can't handle being secret. That's why I really want to come out na. Pero so far, lahat ng nahihingan ko ng advice tells me to wait hanggang may trabaho na ko and hindi na dependent sa parents ko. But the problem is, my parents want to send me to med school, which means I'm gonna have to rely on them for at least 5 more years. Hindi naman daw kasi ideal mag work while in med school. So I'm stumped.

I don't know what to do. I want to love and be loved freely na and just come out para mabunutan na ko ng tinik. But I also know na tama yung sinasabi ng mga kaibigan ko na mag hintay. I just don't know how much longer I could wait. What should I do huhu

Context: For context, I'm a 22 y.o female, all my relationships are with men, but sometimes I do feel like maybe this is not for me? Or like I have this feeling that I want to try wlw relationship? I've been confused about my sexuality but I never got the courage/opportunity to explore that. I'm not sure if I'm bisexual or it's just pure curiosity, because I have this thought of wanting to have sex with women. I have this feeling that men can't fulfill my needs, specially in sex. Di ko alam kung sobrang libog ko lang ba na pati babae gusto ko or what? Lol.

Can you guys help me understand? Kasi I'm scared to open this topic to my lgbtq friends kasi baka isipin nila nakikiuso lang ako or what. I just want a sense of clarity.

Context: Hello guys, first time poster ako dito. 28F (half korean/half filo) share ko lng experience ko and my inbox is open.

Recently, na realize ko na girl kisser ako and takot ako e sabi sa parents ko kasi talagang Christian sila. Pinapagalitan na nga na nagka relationship ako before, ano pa kaya if nalaman nila na WLW pala ako 😓 feel ko nmn hindi ako magsasabi unless i get into a proper relationship pero mahirap pa din T^T

Question: do you think kailangan ko sila sabihan IF i properly get into one? ayoko nmn mag layas dahil sa pagmamahal ng isang tao LOL

Context: 5 months na kaming LDR (met here on Reddit!), planning to fly back to the PH this coming January to finally meet her. Pero lately, nawalan na siya ng time dahil breadwinner duties. Gets ko naman, pero minsan gusto ko lang naman ng lambing o kahit late-night talks man lang tuwing weekend. Pag nagtatampo ako at napapa-argue para lang mapansin, break-up agad ang sagot niya. Almost 5 days na kaming no contact ngayon. Worth it pa bang ipilit to?

​Hi everyone. First time posting here kasi sobrang bigat na ng dibdib ko and I really need outside perspective.

​Dito kami nagmeet sa Reddit. Nagsimula sa kwentuhan, nag-video call, hanggang sa nag-click talaga yung mga ugali namin. Nung una, grabe yung lambing, kaya pa, mahal na mahal pa niya ako. Pero nung tumagal, nawalan na siya ng time.

​Gets ko naman na breadwinner siya, busy sa bahay at sa buhay, kaya nag-aadjust talaga ako. Pero as a girlfriend, minsan kailangan mo rin naman ng lambing, diba? Kahit yung usual naming late-night talks na lang sana tuwing weekend kasi pareho kaming off ng Saturday and Sunday, pero wala na rin.

​Namimiss ko siya sobra. To the point na umabot na sa kung saan nagaaway na lang kami para makuha ko lang attention niya. Tapos kapag nag-aaway kami, laging "break up" ang response niya. Ayaw ko namang makipag-break; ang gusto ko lang naman ayusin at bigyan niya ako ng oras bilang partner niya. Ilang beses na kaming nag "break" in a span of 5 months dahil choice niya, pero hindi ako pumapayag kaya todo suyo ako lagi.

​Pero eto na yung huli, sobrang tigas na niya. Almost 5 days na kaming no contact kasi deadma siya sakin. Nasasaktan din naman ako, kaya aminin ko, minsan may nasasabi akong hindi maganda (hindi naman below the belt), nilalabas ko lang talaga yung sama ng loob ko. LDR na nga kayo tapos hindi pa kayo naguusap, di ba? Ang hirap.

​Nagtatanong na ako sa sarili ko ngayon:

​Am I asking for too much baka dahil naghahanap lang ako ng time and basic attention from her?

​Need ko na ba ibigay yung gusto niya na makipaghiwalay na since parang siya na lang din yung sumusuko?

​Worth it pa ba na pilitin ko siyang ayusin to habang papalapit yung flight ko sa January para magkita kami?

​Sobrang miss na miss ko na siya, pero pagod na rin ako. Pano ba to? Thanks sa sasagot.

Welcome to this week’s Open Lounge! This is your space to talk about anything you want—big or small. Share your WLW experiences, ask for advice, recommend something you love, or just drop by to say hi! Let’s keep it cozy, fun, and respectful. 🌈

Suggested conversation starters:

• What’s been the highlight of your week?
• Do you have a WLW-related story or question to share?
• What’s something you’re excited about or working on?

Problem/Goals: I wanted to be clear because I’m clouded by my thoughts

Context: Hello! This will be my first time opening up, and I need to hear whatever thoughts you have.. so a year ago, I met a girl, not totally meet as in talked to or said hi, we just got an eye contact from event we had, and we’re not even workmates, basically under same organization, idk how to explain. And I sort of catch a glimpse of her while me and my friends were laughing about something, I caught her staring, my reflex immediately avoided the contact but then everytime I looked at her unintentionally, our eyes locked in for a moment, unexplained feelings, thoughts and whatever’s circling on my mind. Few days after, I mer her again and again, our eyes locked in for a moment, and same, reflex avoided the contact and from then I can’t stop thinking about it. Until I looked up to her socials and found her Facebook account, had the guts of adding her but for whatever reasons, she might have no intention of accepting it, so I cancelled and call it a day. Few weeks after, just impulse decision to search her on IG, instead of doomscrolling, and voilaaa, saw her account, added and started messaging her. She accepted my follow request, replied my message yet I haven’t accepted her follow request haha! Idk, kinda shy lol! Took us 5 days to 1 week to actually started a convo and it kinda did pretty well, I got her humor and she got me as well. I didn’t stated my intentions because I just wanna talk, that’s all. But really, in that eye contact moment, I felt it and I saw her, idk how to explain. Overthinking is consuming me that’s why I intentionally deactivated my ig account, the next morning, I saw a notification that blew my mind, she added me on Facebook. It got glitch maybe because I did get 2 notifications of her adding me, and that was really overwhelming. Fast forward, a year after, we’re still in contact online yet we haven’t met in person, just once from an event again, and we’re pretty far from each other, I just waved hi from a distance while us chatting lol. Idk if she’s bi or not. Yet I knew she likes men, very fan of kpop. On the other hand, the feelings I got were odd and I liked it. This made me open up to some of my friends about her, like I’ve never felt like this for sooooo long. And now I’m in between of confessing and not..

Question: How can I open up to this or should I? Would love to read thoughts, words and whatever from u guys. Tnx…

How do I deal with a partner whose main hobby seems to be drinking, without making her feel like I’m controlling her?

Context: My partner and I started living together this July (wlw). At first, everything was fun. We would drink together, cook, and spend quality time with each other. Eventually, we started inviting friends over for drinks more often, and honestly, masaya naman talaga siya. The problem is that this month, halos araw-araw na kaming umiinom, even on workdays. Parang wala na kaming ibang ginagawa kundi uminom, and we’re slowly losing the quality time we used to have.

Yesterday, Friday, I thought we’d finally get a break from drinking. She asked me if we weren’t going to drink, and when I asked why, she said she wanted to drink para maging masaya siya. Pero sabi ko walang inom today, so sumama siya sa team dinner ng kawork niya. She had a team dinner with her coworkers and told me she’d come home early if matuloy kami uminom with our friends. Naisip ko tuloy, hindi na ba siya excited umuwi sa akin?

After the dinner, nagkayayaan pala silang uminom ng workmates niya, so I let her enjoy her night. She told me she wouldn’t be coming home to our place and would instead stay at her family’s house. She also said she’d call me, so I waited for her until 4 AM, only to find out na nasa ibang inuman pala siya with an old friend.

Honestly, I don’t know what to feel anymore. I don’t want to stop her from having fun or make her feel like she needs my permission to go out. But sometimes, I wonder if drinking has become such a big part of her life that she doesn’t have any other hobbies or interests anymore. Ever since I met her, parang laging inom na lang ang gusto niyang gawin.

Previous Attempts: I’ve tried communicating with her, but I’m scared of coming across as someone who constantly nags or lectures her. After all, ganito na siya even before we met, so who am I to tell her to change her lifestyle? I knew she liked drinking when I got into this relationship with her, and I don’t want to make her feel like I’m trying to change who she is just because we’re living together now.

My question: Has anyone else experienced having a partner whose only hobby seems to be drinking? Yung kahit anong araw, laging may aya, laging may inuman, and parang that’s the only thing that makes them happy. How do you deal with this, especially when you love them and don’t want to control them, but you’re also starting to feel neglected in the relationship? How do you communicate your concerns without making them feel like you’re trying to change them? Is this something you learn to accept, or is it reasonable to expect your partner to want other things in life, too?