r/askanything • • 20h ago

General Question What name would you give to this Dog ?

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1.4k Upvotes

2.8k comments sorted by

176

u/bbad999 20h ago

Meat curtains

102

u/GregAbbottsGoodLeg 19h ago

Call him Labia Majora for short

69

u/pheeny 18h ago

And when your face gets covered like this you could call it Majora's Mask

11

u/borygoya 7h ago

Just Major will do. It’ll be a great conversation piece when someone asks about the name

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3

u/TootsEug 1h ago

👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆

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111

u/Fit_Low592 20h ago

40

u/stayingsafeusa 19h ago

Dogogorgon.

14

u/Intelligent-Pin3319 19h ago

1000% came to say this good dogogorgon

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5

u/captainrv 20h ago

This needs to be at the top.

2

u/No_Berry_4973 16h ago

He's a demodog

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15

u/Practical_Comfort383 20h ago

Hootch 

9

u/Ok_Sprinkles_962 19h ago

I scrolled too far for this one. I feel old.

3

u/No_Builder7010 17h ago

I thought it'd be the top comment!

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86

u/Akkerlun 🤔 20h ago

His dog?

46

u/SexyGandalph 20h ago

Not the throatus potus 🤣

16

u/StressFantastic5317 20h ago

It's rumored it can fold that completly over its head.

14

u/SexyGandalph 20h ago

He can fly like dumbo with those bad girls 🤣

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9

u/kaplanfx 18h ago

On top of everything else, he hates dogs…

3

u/Major-Material7231 8h ago

What type of freak hates dogs, unless they have some sort of fear of them

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3

u/purpilia25 19h ago

I’m wet…the blood gushing from my eye sockets has left me drenched!

4

u/motleyroo 19h ago

Finally! A Trump post that's actually funny.

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2

u/lincoln_muadib 16h ago

Dogs love everyone unconditionally. Even Angry Little Flatulent one-testicled Austrian Man had a dog.

You have to be a real scumbag for dogs to not get along with you.

Angry Orange Baby Man can't be around dogs and in fact has never had a pet of any kind.

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13

u/SamMeowAdams 20h ago

Clayface. Like the Batman villain.

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12

u/AdAdmirable1583 20h ago

Flopsy

3

u/treetopalarmist_1 20h ago

Put me down for team flopsy also.

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2

u/Cegrin 20h ago

Absolutely this. That is 100% a Flopsy

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18

u/connected2theOthers 20h ago

I've never seen a dog that was more Roscoe than this.

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22

u/Inevitable_Shift1365 20h ago

Snuffaluffagus

16

u/HowlingWhiskey 20h ago

That is a Neapolitan Mastiff. I think they’re bigger than a Cane Corso. I would name him Crumple or Hulk..

3

u/Electronic-Pause1330 8h ago

He’d be the same name as my Beanie baby from back in the day: Wrinkles

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113

u/ClitasaurusTex 20h ago

I hope it can be called AI because it is completely unethical to breed or purchase a dog like that.

87

u/-Fyrebrand 19h ago

I swear, dog breeders are constantly in competition to see who can create the most vile monstrosity imaginable. "This one is destined to suffer hip problems and will need to be put down!" "Oh yeah? Well this one can barely breathe!" "I made this one to look like a shark that's a bodybuilder, so it will appeal to redneck sociopaths who don't train their pets and won't care when it attacks neighborhood children!"

17

u/theabysslooksback67 15h ago

You are exactly right. Thank you for shouting it out. Most breeders deserve to burn in hell. It just hurts so much when it comes to an animal that looks at you with love and trust in their eyes. I wish the laws were so much stricter when it came to animal abuse and other animal related crimes.

24

u/SnapAndScribbles 19h ago

I just saw a show on YouTube that talked about the AKC has been the reason dogs snouts have become short in pugs and bull dog, which causes breathing issues which leads to early deaths and German shepherds have shorter back legs that leads to hip dysplasia.

7

u/Successful_Form5771 8h ago

It's terrible. German shepherds with roached backs, bassets whose dicks hit the ground, wrinkle breeds that get infections in skin folds and eye ectropion. It's not just the brachycephalic breeds. It's a widespread problem. The only thing that will stop it is coming down hard on judges of these shows who reward these traits, using your dollars to buy responsibly bred dogs, and possibly opening breed books again.

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12

u/GroochtheOrc 18h ago

This is true. Repeated breeding to highlight specific abnormalities has led to short lives for a lot of dogs and untold health problems while they are alive.

3

u/MickMooseMama 9h ago

That’s why I ONLY adopt from Rescues. All
my dogs may have been mutts, but I had one dog who lives to 17 yrs old and was rarely ever sick. She truly died of old age.

I also find that the dogs who have been adopted know that their lives were saved and most build the greatest bonds with their families!!

Never had a bad FurBaby that was rescued!! DON’T SHOP ADOPT!! THEIR LIVES DEPEND ON YOU!!

4

u/entersandmum100 13h ago

F47. in Europe. Had Rottweilers all of my life.

American Rotties do tend to have noted differences BUT the last decade or so they seem to be turning into Pugs with shorter snouts. AKC standard seems to be celebrating and encouraging a deformity of the breed.

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5

u/LadyFruitDoll 14h ago

Compare the modern pug standard to the one from the Victorian era. Huge difference.

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3

u/Reasonable-Mess3070 5h ago

The AKC also approves of ear cropping and tail docking for some breeds.

3

u/MycologistProper7468 4h ago

Yes. Eye entropion is the correct spelling. Frenchies have IVDD, elongated soft palates, stenosis of the nares, and are prone to brain tumors now. Don’t ever get one! Goldens can get cancer at 6 months. I was an Oncology tech (LVT) and a puppy came in with lymphoma. Not a lie.
Get a mutt.

6

u/downsideup9494 17h ago

And it bamboozles me how anyone thinks a dog with a smushed in face that breathes noisily all the time is adorable. I find them ugly and disgusting. (And I like dogs and have had several in my life)

6

u/InappropriatePotato4 10h ago

The poorly breathing dogs creep the fuck out my dog. She will literally come running over with a glimmer of distress when those dogs approach her. Like girl I’m concerned too

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9

u/Technical_Goose_8160 18h ago

The wife wants a golden doodle or something, but getting anything but a mutt seems wrong...

21

u/PineappleFit317 18h ago

Don’t buy a doodle, they’re typically a high-anxiety bundle of nerves, and it costs at least $150 to get them groomed which needs to be done every 6-8 weeks. Doodles are mutts that people pay thousands for, just get a shelter mutt.

5

u/Useful_Record1888 12h ago

i couldn't agree more. My wife wanted an AussieDoodle. It's been 4 years now and we regret it every single day.

We used to own a Bullmastiff. So imagine the shock. We went from a couch potato to a constantly anxious dog that keeps running around the house barking because she saw a car pass in the street. We are exhausted.

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22

u/DickHopschteckler 18h ago

Isn’t a golden doodle by definition a mutt though?

7

u/PJ10028 10h ago

Yes. An expensive one

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u/pumpkins21 18h ago

Nothing wrong with an American Heinz 57 dog. They’re great!

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u/beefcakeriot 7h ago

Over breeding is one of the most detrimental things for dogs. I love a collie they are so smart but I would probably never buy a purebred. My last was a mutt with retriever mix. Amazing personality and incredibly sensitive. Local shelters are usually full of good boys that need a home.

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u/Early_Clerk7900 14h ago

A golden doodle is a mutt with a ridiculous price tag to reward puppy mills.

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u/DecisionDelicious170 18h ago

Yep. Any dog with a smashed in face that can’t breathe. Like W. T. F.

And it’s tough because I love Boxers temperment, but mix a dog with some muzzle in so it can breathe.

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5

u/Emannuelle-in-space 16h ago

Yeah the first name that came to mind was “Sufferer”

17

u/kareljack 20h ago

Well, Neapolitans have been around for a while, so..

13

u/ClitasaurusTex 20h ago

I know what they are. Doesn't mean they're ethical 🙃

5

u/68plus1equals 16h ago

I love dogs so I’m genuinely asking what specifically is unethical about this breed? I know bulldogs have a lot of health and breathing problems, just curious what issues are specific to this breed?

8

u/TacetAbbadon 13h ago

Considering the breed today appears like it just looked inside the Arc of The Covenant I'd say breeding or buying this "show" line is unethical. Just look up common medical conditions for the breed.

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u/Successful_Form5771 8h ago

Both eye entropion and ectropion would be a first. Skin infections and mobility impairment from the wrinkles, joint and hip dysplasia, cherry eye, heart issues. Imagine living your life with skin that wrinkly. I think I'd rather have no legs.

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6

u/Ran15ran 19h ago

Searched about it. turns out before it was selectively bred for military purposes but got to extreme for looks/ show.

For military, it was to provide a defense mechanism during combat. If an enemy soldier or a wild animal grabbed the dog, they would only get a mouthful of loose skin, allowing the dog to twist around inside its own hide and bite back. (only googled, did not do much extensive research)

15

u/Sufficient-Step6954 18h ago

This is a Neapolitan Mastiff and they’ve been recorded for over 2000 years but enjoy your upvotes and awards.

20

u/TacetAbbadon 14h ago

Yes but in the last 40 odd years they've been turned into this abomination.

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3

u/Huntthatmoney 12h ago

I have a mastiff and the amount of water it spills for its jaw is crazy…this has to be insane with that one

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5

u/backpackwayne 20h ago

That's a total Barney

5

u/License2HeadHunt 11h ago

Beef Curtains

4

u/MajesticElk5014 20h ago

Beef curtains.

5

u/ShoppingOverall879 20h ago

I dunno , but you that man and his home smell CRAZY

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6

u/Worst-Eh-Sure 20h ago

Rip Van Wrinkle. Or Wrink for short.

5

u/Gumbercules 20h ago

Jowly McJowlface

4

u/Prestigious-End8468 20h ago

Rufus.

Obviously.

3

u/Public-Ad-7280 20h ago

That's my 3lb Chorkies name. Lol. I'm glad he looks normal.

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3

u/PerthlyPerson 20h ago

It's wearing an Edgar suit

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5

u/catdad 20h ago

Floop John B

4

u/Chair_luger 20h ago

Demogorgon from stranger things. Maybe Demo for short.

5

u/zackks 19h ago

Hooch

5

u/Doctordelayus 20h ago

That’s a Hank if ever I saw one

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3

u/Ok_District2853 20h ago

Jabba the hound

2

u/manjar 17h ago

Jabba the mutt

3

u/Historical-Bike4626 20h ago

Henson. Because that’s a muppet

3

u/Professor-Alarming 20h ago

Sir, that’s not a dog. That’s obviously a hat!

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3

u/johnhas61 20h ago

Jowles

3

u/Waste_Space1415 20h ago

Jowl Mop.

I went with a literal descriptive approach.

3

u/vsysio 20h ago

JEEZUS CHRIST .... that is a big dog

3

u/ICanSpotAGrifter 18h ago

Corporal Klinger

3

u/cbhbzb 17h ago

beef curtain

3

u/IntellectualVet 17h ago

Wtf is wrong with that dog

3

u/J3nc 11h ago

I would name him Darool

3

u/Icy_Following_5615 8h ago

Beef curtains

6

u/Moscavitz 20h ago

Beef curtain

4

u/pogiguy2020 17h ago

Labia

not sorry

2

u/Clark_Kent_TheSJW 20h ago

Super Kami Guru

2

u/anywho123 20h ago

Are you sure that’s not just a wet towel being shaken around?

2

u/dalilfoe 20h ago

Towel because that’s what i thought it was at first 

2

u/PangolinDry598 20h ago

Reminds me of Hope Solo

2

u/AdeptBathroom3318 20h ago

Everything reminds me of her

2

u/No-Pain-5228 20h ago

Snuffaluffagus

2

u/Tight_Ad_3616 20h ago

I would just have to call him Jowls, because that is all that woofer is, jowls.

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2

u/NoWhammies2112 20h ago

Skirt steak

2

u/MaximumBiff 20h ago

Restraining order

2

u/SafariNZ 20h ago

Slobber

2

u/steve200747909 20h ago

That's dog's poop is probably bigger than mine

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2

u/spartBL97 20h ago

I should call her…

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2

u/Previous_Coat8376 20h ago

Ruffles

Because they have ridges.

2

u/Hoodedmastersin 20h ago

Capn Scrote

2

u/El_Sant0 20h ago

Scroto Nutbaggins

2

u/Hurricrash 20h ago

Is that the monster from stranger things?

2

u/DeLorean83 20h ago

Clayface

2

u/NearHi 20h ago

Arby

2

u/AndroManicon59 20h ago

Hey Sloppy ,, come here boy !!!

2

u/Mackeith88 19h ago

It's Turner and Cooch

2

u/cobra7 19h ago

Lips McGurk

2

u/Electronic-War1332 19h ago

Labia majora

2

u/Alreyith 19h ago

Wrinkles McFloppyface, face for short

2

u/Mort_Blort 19h ago

Majora.

2

u/TheTerramancer 18h ago

Everything reminds me of her

2

u/jest3r123 17h ago

Ol' milf pussy

2

u/S8nBam 11h ago

Slobberdon

2

u/Goofball0810 11h ago

Jobba the mutt!! 🤣

2

u/Comfortable_Rice6112 10h ago

Fang! After Hagrid’s dog in Harry Potter.

2

u/Financial_Ad_594 8h ago

I’d name them GTFOM

2

u/andupandup73 5h ago

Arby’s

2

u/No_Wolverine6548 3h ago

Poor thing couldn’t attack anything with it’s mouth if it wanted to without hurting itself first