Fuck cancer.

Fuck the fear of recurrence.

Fuck the medications that are supposed to protect you but leave you feeling miserable.

Fuck everyone who brushes off our concerns because they think we're just being paranoid.

Fuck everyone who tells us, "You're so strong," because they don't know what else to say.

Fuck everyone who promised to be there and disappeared when we needed them most.

Fuck being expected to be grateful every single day simply because we're still alive.

Fuck the toxic positivity, the pink ribbons, and the glamorization of a disease that destroys lives.

Fuck being told to move on when we're still dealing with the physical and psychological consequences of treatment.

Fuck having to question whether every headache, ache, or unfamiliar symptom means the cancer is back.

Fuck being called a survivor while silently struggling just to survive the aftermath.

Fuck the assumption that finishing treatment means everything goes back to normal.

And fuck the idea that surviving cancer somehow makes all the suffering worth it.

We didn't choose this. We didn't ask to become inspirational stories. We wanted our lives. Our health. Our peace.

We're allowed to be angry. We're allowed to be exhausted. And we're allowed to tell the truth about cancer without making it comfortable for everyone else.

I'm sitting here having a panic attack over everything right now. And I cant say anything to anyone around me because no one gets it!

Recently my aunt told me in the family group chat that I am consider lucky more than many people as I'm treating my cancer in a more advanced country, I got insurance, I got a good job with supportive boss and I didn't get that much side effects from chemo, I still look good, eat well etc. Also I have many people care about me, pray for me, my husband supports me. So I should be thankful and positive blah blah

Yea I know she is not wrong but damn - How do I feel that I am lucky having breast cancer in my early 30s and technically spending this entire year shuttling back and forth between hospitals* *and then many more years taking hormones therapy and forced into menopause in my early 30s.

How to I feel thankful to this and feel lucky compare to many people like she said?

Don't get wrong, I am not negative at all, I just cant seem to get to the positive level of many people expect me to be. And those people are not cancer patients

Anyone have advice on dressy clothing I can hide my drains in? I am post surgery day 4. My 16 yo niece, who I am extremely close to, passed away this week from a brain bleed. I will be at all of her services. I refuse to miss them. I’m struggling to figure out what I can wear to look semi normal and formal enough for funeral services. Anyone have any ideas?
I made it through her honor walk for organ donation yesterday at the hospital in jeans and a surgery top with a zip up that has drain pockets. But I need formal clothing for the other services on Thursday and Saturday.
Feeling so broken

40 yo ++- bilat mastectomy with direct to reconstruction. Grade 1 waiting on path results from surgery.

I have done my fair share of research on endocrine therapy and the risk reduction benefits. However, I have not read something that clearly explains WHY it works. Estrogen binds to the receptors on the cancer cells which is a signal for the cell to grow and divide… ok so lowering estrogen equals slowing growth, I get that. But, is lowering estrogen causing cell death for these cancer cells? Is it possible that without “fuel” the body’s immune system is able to clean up these bad cells? To me slowing growth doesn’t equal cell death so I don’t fully understand why it works and increases survival.

I am also frustrated with the lack of logical reasoning behind why having dense breasts increases breast cancer risk beyond making screening harder. I don’t buy the “there are more cells responding to hormones, therefore, there are more chances for error”. That’s not good enough for me (for someone with breasts that are as dense as they get).

I’m not a doctor but I’m an engineer and I want to understand what these drugs are doing at the molecular level, I am going to take them for 10 years after all…

Everyone says I'm going to be fine, my doctors say I'm going to be fine, my anesthesiologist says this is going to be easy and he's not worried, my coworkers say itll be fine...

But I'm so damn scared. And with everyone constantly telling me I'll be okay, I just don't have anywhere to get these worries out.

I had a friend who never woke up from their anesthesia, and I always get like this any time I'm put under. I worry, every time, will I be like Denessa (my friend)? What if today is it, and the last nice thing I did was set up my station for my boss to cover for me for the two weeks?

I've just been ignoring this for months, pretending that this just doesn't exist just so I didn't spend the past few months angry over this situation, and now the situation is staring me down, breathing down my neck like some monster I just don't want to face.

I just keep telling myself that hopefully by this time tomorrow it'll be over, I'll be home, and recovering.

I just hope I wake up...

I know the title is misleading but for real, don't be dumb like I was!

I was trying to buy my daughters a pair of Lions tickets for the Oct. 25th game. I was picked for the Crucial Catch game and I was trying to bring my kids too. Normally, I am very on top of stuff like this but with my Chemo brain, I was stupid!

I sent $300 to someone that was supposedly selling me 2 tickets. Once they got the agreed upon amount, they needed another $150 to transfer them. That was a lie and I refused to send anymore money until I got the tix.

I know better but I was in a vulnerable place. They got the best of me. Just remember that even though we have cancer, and life is really hard right now; no one else cares. Please do not let yourself be taken advantage of too.

Might be long and rambly. I’m currently hiding in the closet, crying. Might be triggering.

TW: thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. No active ideation, being seen by psych, safe, just in pain.

It’s my first birthday since my diagnosis, I found my tumor 2 months after my 40th birthday. The last year has been a mess of disaster after disaster and loss after loss.

My last birthday, I managed to finally make friends and have a party after a lifetime of social isolation (autism/adhd difficulties plus ptsd from childhood trauma) and thought things were going well. Then I got fucking cancer. And now? I’m sitting in my house alone on my birthday waiting to go to a fucking infusion.

My “best friend” dropped me at the end of chemo for being too difficult (I was sad and grieving a loss of a major plan as a marker of a major milestone) and has been not speaking to me for the past month because she’s “too stressed out” and being around someone sad is too hard so she needs to “protect her peace.”

This morning I woke up not to a happy birthday text, not to silence, but for a possibility I hadn’t prepared for.

She sent me a link to a $25 gift card at Starbucks. With no message. I don’t even go to Starbucks or have an account.

My other friends cancelled on the play I’d bought tickets for my birthday so I ended up having to ask around and waste 1/3 of my tickets and bring friends of my husband’s.

And on top of it all I got my genetic test results and not only is the Effexor they put me on for my depression on the list of drugs that don’t work for me due to a mutation, tamoxifen is also on that list. So screw me I guess. They were already talking about halfing my tamoxifen dose when I start for my mental health so I doubt increasing it substantially to account for the fact that I make zero enzyme, or an AI and suppression are going to be viable alternatives. It’s looking like the answer is just don’t treat it.

And now I’m wondering why I even bothered treating it in the first place. I wish I had just cut it out and moved on with my life. Treating cancer ruined my life. I fucking hate this.

The silver lining, I guess, is that at least I got into this research trial and found out because I didn’t qualify for genetic testing. I could have taken tamoxifen and fought with side effects for 5 years thinking I was helping myself out only to have zero impact on recurrence.

I’ve messaged oncology and have an appointment with psych this week so I’m doing all the things.

I M hitting the one year mark of my first chemo therapy - also mh 35th birthday . I have so much resentment - mad at my body for giving me this ! I’m happy I got through chemo and am ok per se . But being on hormone meds for years fear of reoccurrence !! I hate the anxiety . My age . Barbie tits - feeling like an old person aches and pains from no estrogen !! Ugh just venting - tell me within the years it gets better ?!

I have ADHD and depression, living in a foreign country, with no friends, and my family is not here with me, my mom came to take care of me but she was making things difficult, my girlfriend works the whole day and has adhd as well, with this tnbc thing I just feel that i can’t do anything, I just want someone to do everything for me, I don’t want to prepare food everyday and be alone in the house the whole day, I feel paralysed, this is really overwhelming, I’ve been trying to find psychological help but it feels so difficult to find help, it sucks, I feel so alone in this journey, been the whole day in bed, I don’t even know where to look for help

Redditors may always post any breast cancer question, comment, rant, or rave as a stand-alone post. Nothing is inconsequential, too small, too unimportant for its own post. Nevertheless, we‘ve had a few requests for a regular thread for topics that the OP might not feel like making its own post. This post is for those topics. If you ask a question in this thread that doesn’t get answered, you may still create a post for that topic.

She's 63 next month, 12mm stage 1, grade 2 +++

Mri and scans show no node involvement but will know for sure after lumpectomy.

Treatment plan is lumpectomy, 5 rounds of radiation and the 5 years of hormone treatment.

The predict app says the benefits of chemo are 0.1% at 5 years and 1.1% at 15 years so that i would understand but online everything says her2 + equals chemo?

Thanks for any advice

I started off with a needle biopsy and the technician kept hitting some nerves in armpit with sonogram. I let out a scream a couple of times from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t understand because she said how come it’s not hurting you anywhere else.
Fast forward had to back to the surgery with 10 lymph nodes removed, and I can barely move my arm from the nerve damage. Has anyone else ever had this and what can I do? I can’t go on with this pain.

There’s breast cancer beef at AMC movie theaters.

You might be wondering: How did we get here?

Well, right now, thanks to Physicians Committee, during BCAM you can go to the movies and hear “beat breast cancer before it even comes for you”…by eating plants.

Tf?

Venus Williams says, “You know me,” and a breast cancer surgeon says, “Hopefully you never have to know me.” and how can you avoid ever knowing her? Stick to a plant based diet.

As if this community doesn't know vegans and vegetarians who’ve been diagnosed, had recurrences or died from breast cancer. Like we don't have stage IV breasties who ate plant-based diets for decades before diagnosis and are still facing treatment for life.

Some of us just came for a movie, not the implication that a different grocery list could’ve spared us our own horror film.

Risk reduction deserves a conversation, and so does the responsibility that comes with how you communicate it.

Radiology wants me to come in for an ultrasound to "plan" for the smart clip placement that will take place on the morning of DMX surgery. Marker is going in a lymph node. I live 2.5 hours away and my husband has been careful to manage his time off of work to drive me. Is it common to have this extra appointment?

Hi everyone,

I'm a few years post my main treatment and I'm having a DIEP Flap reconstruction and augmentation on the opposite side in early November. I'm nervous about my surgical recovery because I have two 7-8.5 kg (15-19lb) dogs.

One of the dogs is being shipped off to a friend for six weeks while I recover. The heavier of the two is staying with a friend for the first three weeks, but I might need to manage her afterwards.

How did you find managing your pets? Did you feel more confident after six weeks? Should I plan on getting a regular walker?

Thanks a lot in advance for sharing your experience!

A rant. I should be feeling better but I’m not. I am lucky to have gotten good news on my first mammogram one year out from IDC, lumpectomy and 6 months of aromatase inhibitors- exemestane
The mammogram was traumatic. They took 6 sets of pictures and a second tech needed to take more so I was sure it was a recurrence. Turns out no one asked whether I had lost weight or saw it in my chart that I had and Mammo was ok.
I think rather than feeling elated. I feel down. I can’t believe I have another 4.5 years of AI. I hate it. It’s tolerable despite pain, aches, looking and feeling like a crone , thinning hair and hot flashes/ night sweats. Night sweats started right after I saw med onc this week. I only had hot flashes before. I take extra meds just to be able to stay on the AI.
I miss my estrogen!!!!! This sucks

Hi all, I got my pathology back last Tuesday. 32F, IDC, non specific, ER+ PR+ HR2-, Grade 3, lymph node spread but not sure how many. I have my appointment tomorrow on 10/19 to meet with the surgeon, genetic testing the same day, a Breast MRI on 10/20 and finally my PET scan which is just causing me immense dread due to hypodensities found on my liver during a prior chest CT scan done not at the breast clinic.

I’m just so depressed and afraid, I’m so tired of being anxious every second and walking around seeing everyone so happy. I have my boyfriend and family support with me for these appointments this week but I’m just like tired of feeling so incredibly sad all the time. Does it ever get better?

Title says it all :)

Hi, what scans do you have post active treatment to detect for lobular mets? And how often? For those with mets, where did it spread to first and how did you find it? x

Adding: Thank you everyone for your replies and insight. It’s very much appreciated. I have homework to do and questions to ask. This is a great community.

I’m asking this after reading billing from my cancer center and irritated over the whole thing. Essentially I’m paying $550 every 3 months for the stupid Lupron shot. For 10 years that’s $22,000 just to keep my stupid ovaries. I’ve done it for 2 years at this point. Context: I’m in the US so ridiculous medical costs and shit employer insurance. I’m 43, had a reoccurrence 2 years ago after 6 years of tamoxifen. Original Dx at 34. So Lupron and Exemestane it is. A nurse originally said it’s nice to have some estrogen back once the 10 years are up. I’ll be 52 by then. So what estrogen?! I don’t have a mutation so I don’t need them out for that cancer risk. Just keeping the BC from coming back.

Has anyone done the 10 years of ovarian suppression and are glad they kept their ovaries? Or is this really not worth it. I mean how much estrogen would a 52 year old woman have who also can’t go on HRT.
End rant over how freaking expensive cancer treatment is. The gift that keeps on giving.

SOS I have been coping by avoidance and now the day is here and I’m unprepared. What should I do? How do I prevent the worst of it? Is this a good idea. Anyone wish they hadn’t done radiation? Any tips whatsoever that could make this easier or better breathe life into my bones?

I’m post two lumpectomies and 12 rounds of chemo. I should finish radiation right around my one year mark.

Note: I’m doing prone position because I couldn’t hold my breath long enough to do it on my back so I can’t use mepitel strip thingies (I ordered them from Mayo Clinic for $20each) and can’t use them!

21F, had a preventative DMX on September 10th and a DCIS dx. on September 22nd. Finally got my full pathology report back and it feels like there was barely any room for normal breast tissue in there

I was full of tubular adenomas, complex fibroadenomas, some very florid intraductal papillomas (for some reason I love the word florid), sclerosed intraductal papillomas, complex sclerosing papillary lesions, apocrine metaplasia, florid epithelial hyperplasia just chilling by itself and like a lil bit of ADH.

It was a really strange read, but just made me so glad I pushed for the surgery - everything just seemed to be one clump of overgrowths.

Still all feels a bit unreal after my surgeon kept telling me I wasn't at risk for bc till I was in my 30s.