I am currently at work (in an office) and a row over, I hear coworkers talking and out of nowhere one says

“if you have cancer and your thinking about a wig that should be the least of your freaking worries, you should just be happy you’re alive” or something to the sort.

They are not coworkers I talk to besides a hello or smile, and they do not know I have cancer. I am not usually one to be offended by other people’s opinions, but this one stuck. Because if I want to put a wig on my head to make me feel nice, I will! It was just a ridiculous thing to say.

anyway, if you are wearing a scarf, a wig, or rocking your baldie today, I hope you are having a wonderful day, feel beautiful, and I am sending love💕 to offset that negative energy.

Hi everyone!

I’m 43 yo, ++- with 90%E 70%P , ki 25%, mitotic 2, grade 3, stage 1A . No nodes no LVI or PNI. Had DMX , clean margins.
My absolute nightmare since diagnosis was having to do chemo. And today Mammaprint came back as High Risk 1. I am as devastated as I was on diagnosis day. I got through that surgery, the reconstruction with my own muscles, everything while being glad that I don’t need chemo yet. Maybe never. My chances of a low risk genomic test were high. And yet… I’m thinking about getting an Oncotype as well. I don’t want to have that treatment and not even knowing if it works, but losing my long long hair and God knows what other long term side effects. I’m so scared about those. Also that port i read about…
The mammaprint said my absolute benefit is estimated at 6% but the range is so big - 3-8% so what if it is 3%? I’m so anxious right now that i feel nauseous. I would do 3 more surgeries just so I don’t have to do chemo.
I feel like it will rob me of me. And that I will have to stay hidden until my hair is at least a bob length (1-2 years). I have an active social life and didn’t share my diagnosis. But now it will be obvious. Chemo will make sure everyone including me knows i have cancer. Christmas is coming and how will I be? How will I smile with my child and how will he look at me? I keep seeing those movies in my head with the mom that looks so sick and has a scarf on her head.
And since i already have thin hair since birth, cold capping won’t help much. For me losing 50% of my hair will have me look like Smeagol.
I just don’t know what to say anymore… i feel shattered. I’m scared it will age me. I will never be attractive again never date again. I know that being alive beats that but as i read here , chemo doesn’t guarantee anything in ++-.
Thank you for reading.

Has anyone else had issues with their gums bleeding, when brushing your teeth?

I'm on AC-T chemo (currently finishing taxol), and my gums have been getting more and more sensitive. They bleed when brushing my teeth, and they also feel really sensitive to cold drinks or hot food.

I am so ready to be done with all of this 🫠

Thank you for any input!!

Just seen this reel on Instagram where a Dr gets asked what the top longevity tip for women is, as she looks so great…

Her reply: lifelong HRT

STFU 😂
(this sucks so much for all of us who have/had ER+ BC)

It’s a long story - but I’ve been living life as much as I can. I was diagnosed with TNBC stage 2 last year and completed keynote 522. Unfortunately my double mastectomy had a bit complication so I have to do another surgery for my right breast in December and then in March next year. Regardless, I’m very grateful.

Before the diagnosis, my relationship with my husband wasn’t great. Probably because we had our first baby and we don’t have any help with the family.

My job is very demanding and his isn’t - he works from home 100% and I need to go in the office 3-4 times a week. We’ve been juggling work and baby with absolute no help and now he’s 2 years old already!

Mostly we fight about how we never have time to talk, or mostly finance and work. I reduced my hours so I can be with our son more, but due to my high demanding job, I’m still so busy, I have no time for myself but also anyone else.

Basically every morning I’m with our son until 9am and go to the office to work. I come home around 3:30pm and I’m with our son until he sleeps roughly 8:00pm. Then I work some more and end the day.

Between the time, I mostly do dishes (husband helps occasionally), laundry for myself and our son, vacuum the house (husband helps occasionally). I cook breakfast and dinner for our son.

Due to reduced hours of my work, I don’t make as much but yet I still pay 50% of the expenses. I did bring it up to my husband that it’s difficult but never brought it up again because he gets so stressed with money. I rather be stressed by myself than tell him and make him feel stressed and have another disagreement or talk about the issue.

I schedule all appointments, bathe our son, order diapers, etc, take out his diaper trash etc.

I guess I’m just tired. He’s upset or sad because I don’t have time for us, and yet I feel like he can do more.

As mentioned his job is very not demanding. There are days where I work and he plays games with his friends which is fine, but sometimes I wish he can watch our son more so I can work more, so I don’t have to at night when I’m exhausted. I don’t bring it up because we always end up fighting because he says “you reduced your hours. It’s not my fault my job is not demanding”.

I just need to vent or talk to someone because I can’t talk to anyone. I don’t want to talk to my friends or family about this because it’s badmouthing my husband.

Is this normal? Or am I expecting too much? Even little things annoy me - he never ever once took our the diaper trash bag. I’m sure he doesn’t even know how to replace the trash bag. He rarely ever cleans our dog poop in our backyard. He never clean our bathroom. If I ever mention this, he says “you never ask”. But he’s a grown ass adult who should know what to do?

And at night he doesn’t want to talk because he’s tired and it’s his peaceful time. So basically we don’t ever talk. He doesn’t want to talk about anything serious late at night. And I tend to always watch what I say to him because he gets so grumpy. I can’t even do dishes at night because it’s so loud. I guess I can but he’ll go to his other room because it’s so loud.

He is an amazing dad to our son. He does spend a lot of time with him. But I don’t know. I just need someone I can talk to and just hear me out. Just tell me I’m not crazy. I’m not expecting much.

I just need a husband who is a bit more supportive of what I do for a living, and understand that sometimes he needs to do a bit more than usual. I need him to be wanting to talk to me at night - about anything. Not be annoyed and stressed with little things. I need him to understand that what I went through for last year is still hard on me. Is that too much to ask for a husband?

After 3 years of Zometa i finally had my last one today! I remember the first one wiped me out more than chemo but after that they all were completely fine, so if you are new to this i would reeeeally recommend trying your second dose before stopping treatment.

This feels like a huge milestone as this was my last intravenous treatment given in the same place i had chemo. Happy to have another thing ticked off the list, now time for the three year countdown of anastrozole+zoladex!

Diagnosed 4 years ago at 24 yrs old with stage 2 +++

Does anyone have any ideas on what to do for this issue. So I have a binder (tube top type) that I was sent home in day of my surgery (7 days out) which is long enough on the sides to cover my drains so they don’t pull. However the top of the binder is breaking my chest out so bad from rubbing it constantly. I’ve tried unvelcroing the top a bit and pinning the top back with a safety pin to but then it ends up not even over my breast. They told me I could switch to a sports bra however I have ordered multiple and none come low enough on the sides to cover where my drains are therefore they pull my drains or roll over my drains. I’m thinking of putting a tshirt on under the binder at this point because my poor chest is going to get worse. Once I get the drains out I’ll be able to wear a sports bra and have no issues but that will more than likely be when I see my plastic surgeon and that isn’t for 2 more weeks. Ugh

I just had a DEIP on the 7th of this month; I bottomed out and fell on my head. I went to the ER twice I was first DX with DCIS grade 2, now I have now stage 1a with 2-3 mm. ER+/ PS + HER - Kp-score of 5%. Now what I am most mad about is I have a blood collecting and I have to go back in Nov 6th for small Excision and my doctor was worried about saving my shape of my breast; I told her don’t worry about it shape of skin or nipple; Itold her I understood what the final pathology report would say or it could have been worst. I told her don’t worry about sending me into surgery again. If we are not sure we have to go back in and don’t feel sorry about sending me into surgery there is nothing we can do about saving the shape of the nipple I told her I don’t give a shit; I am already frankstein! I have an inscion scars, drains and fucked up breast. I regret the most I have wanted to a mastectomy with aesthetic closure and be done with this shit once and for all. I can’t clean my body I can’t clean my hair on my own I can’t drive and I can’t cook on my own

I’m due to start Kadcyla soon. 14 cycles, one every three weeks. Alongside radiotherapy. I’ve already had EC-T, SMX, and full axillary clearance. Can folk please tell me their real life experiences of Kadcyla and radiotherapy? My oncologist says it won’t be as bad as the Red Devil, but I’m keen to hear from people who have done it/are doing it. Thanks breasties.

I was at the hospital today for an ultrasound on my flat side. I have been having a little bit of pain, and the surgeon wanted to check that all was good. Thankfully, all is fine. Just the scar internally is still healing. Yay for me!

Whilst sat in the waiting room, and young girl (I would guess 16/17) was in there with her mum.

They sat down next to me to wait for the ultrasound after seeing the consultant and had this conversation

Daughter- so just fibroid hopefully then

Mum- fingers crossed yes.

Daughter- and good to know they have recommended this to take (had a leaflet about evening primrose)

Mum- hmm

Daughter - what's up? Do you not think that will help?

Mum- no, it's not that. I took a day off work for this as I thought it was going to be a worse thing. Seems like this was a waste of time

I then got called in, but was biting my tongue as I walked past. I couldn't believe that someone would be so callous about it, almost like she hoped it was going to be bad. All the while, there are others around who could be at any stage of their treatment. She should have been so happy!!!

It just annoyed me so much as I told my daughter to check herself regularly and let me know if anything changes so we can get checked straight away. I honestly don't understand some people.

Before you get your ovaries out, think about hormones besides estrogen. Testosterone from the ovaries is much higher than estrogen production. Testosterone is important for well being, mental function, strength, bone mass, body composition, skin, libido, sexual function and cardiovascular health. Men would not go without testosterone. I am worried that women will regret removing ovaries if not necessary.

Faucett K, Giles LA, Sing E. Testosterone: Vital to
female physiology. Womens Health (Lond). 2026 Jan-Dec;22:17455057261451831. doi: 10.1177/17455057261451831. Epub 2026 May 14. PMID: 42133924; PMCID: PMC13180063.

Everything happened so fast. I was diagnosed with lobular carcinoma on 3 August, was only on one side but went with a double mastectomy because I have a genetic condition that makes me high risk. I also opted for immediate reconstruction so I have expanders in now. My op was on 28 August and the lymph nodes they removed were clear so I’m officially stage 1 and the next part of treatment is tamoxifen.

I’m, according to my surgeon and oncologist, pretty close to cancer free as I can be.

And it feels like everyone in my life is moving on, because I’m “okay” now. I don’t need more surgery. I don’t need radiation or chemo. I also feel like I should be ok, because I got lucky, it was caught so early. I should be grateful, it could be worse.

But I’m not okay. I’m so sad, I’m drowning in grief for who I was in July. I can’t understand how my life turned inside out in 2.5 months - but also hasn’t? How do I just return to “normal” when I don’t know who I am anymore?

I don’t know if any of this makes any sense.

I have Grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC/NST), ER+/PR+/HER2−, with focal DCIS, and I am about to have a lumpectomy at Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto, Ontario, in two weeks.

I have very small breasts and am concerned that the size and shape will be significantly different post-lumpectomy. When I originally spoke with the surgeon (from what I remember - I was in a daze), he said that he is going to move my nipple so it "doesn't drift" into my armpit, and do his best to make it look similar.

When I spoke with the admin team today, they told me that people who do lumpectomies "don't get plastic surgery consults" and that the doctor typically does a good job, so unless I'm having a mastectomy, this isn't part of what they offer. I asked what would happen if they were misshapen or asymmetrical afterwards, and she said: "That typically doesn't happen."

I'm struggling with this (perhaps it's something I feel like I should be able to control in an uncontrollable situation). Can anyone attest to whether or not this is true? If they are misshapen or asymmetrical, will I be offered plastic surgery to correct it afterwards? Would this be OHIP-covered, or am I on my own? Is this something I should advocate for beforehand?

Sorry for all the questions; I'm just really struggling with how hard it seems to be to get clarity on this.

Everyone says I'm going to be fine, my doctors say I'm going to be fine, my anesthesiologist says this is going to be easy and he's not worried, my coworkers say itll be fine...

But I'm so damn scared. And with everyone constantly telling me I'll be okay, I just don't have anywhere to get these worries out.

I had a friend who never woke up from their anesthesia, and I always get like this any time I'm put under. I worry, every time, will I be like Denessa (my friend)? What if today is it, and the last nice thing I did was set up my station for my boss to cover for me for the two weeks?

I've just been ignoring this for months, pretending that this just doesn't exist just so I didn't spend the past few months angry over this situation, and now the situation is staring me down, breathing down my neck like some monster I just don't want to face.

I just keep telling myself that hopefully by this time tomorrow it'll be over, I'll be home, and recovering.

I just hope I wake up...

She's 63 next month, 12mm stage 1, grade 2 +++

Mri and scans show no node involvement but will know for sure after lumpectomy.

Treatment plan is lumpectomy, 5 rounds of radiation and the 5 years of hormone treatment.

The predict app says the benefits of chemo are 0.1% at 5 years and 1.1% at 15 years so that i would understand but online everything says her2 + equals chemo?

Thanks for any advice

I know the title is misleading but for real, don't be dumb like I was!

I was trying to buy my daughters a pair of Lions tickets for the Oct. 25th game. I was picked for the Crucial Catch game and I was trying to bring my kids too. Normally, I am very on top of stuff like this but with my Chemo brain, I was stupid!

I sent $300 to someone that was supposedly selling me 2 tickets. Once they got the agreed upon amount, they needed another $150 to transfer them. That was a lie and I refused to send anymore money until I got the tix.

I know better but I was in a vulnerable place. They got the best of me. Just remember that even though we have cancer, and life is really hard right now; no one else cares. Please do not let yourself be taken advantage of too.

I have ADHD and depression, living in a foreign country, with no friends, and my family is not here with me, my mom came to take care of me but she was making things difficult, my girlfriend works the whole day and has adhd as well, with this tnbc thing I just feel that i can’t do anything, I just want someone to do everything for me, I don’t want to prepare food everyday and be alone in the house the whole day, I feel paralysed, this is really overwhelming, I’ve been trying to find psychological help but it feels so difficult to find help, it sucks, I feel so alone in this journey, been the whole day in bed, I don’t even know where to look for help

Might be long and rambly. I’m currently hiding in the closet, crying. Might be triggering.

TW: thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. No active ideation, being seen by psych, safe, just in pain.

It’s my first birthday since my diagnosis, I found my tumor 2 months after my 40th birthday. The last year has been a mess of disaster after disaster and loss after loss.

My last birthday, I managed to finally make friends and have a party after a lifetime of social isolation (autism/adhd difficulties plus ptsd from childhood trauma) and thought things were going well. Then I got fucking cancer. And now? I’m sitting in my house alone on my birthday waiting to go to a fucking infusion.

My “best friend” dropped me at the end of chemo for being too difficult (I was sad and grieving a loss of a major plan as a marker of a major milestone) and has been not speaking to me for the past month because she’s “too stressed out” and being around someone sad is too hard so she needs to “protect her peace.”

This morning I woke up not to a happy birthday text, not to silence, but for a possibility I hadn’t prepared for.

She sent me a link to a $25 gift card at Starbucks. With no message. I don’t even go to Starbucks or have an account.

My other friends cancelled on the play I’d bought tickets for my birthday so I ended up having to ask around and waste 1/3 of my tickets and bring friends of my husband’s.

And on top of it all I got my genetic test results and not only is the Effexor they put me on for my depression on the list of drugs that don’t work for me due to a mutation, tamoxifen is also on that list. So screw me I guess. They were already talking about halfing my tamoxifen dose when I start for my mental health so I doubt increasing it substantially to account for the fact that I make zero enzyme, or an AI and suppression are going to be viable alternatives. It’s looking like the answer is just don’t treat it.

And now I’m wondering why I even bothered treating it in the first place. I wish I had just cut it out and moved on with my life. Treating cancer ruined my life. I fucking hate this.

The silver lining, I guess, is that at least I got into this research trial and found out because I didn’t qualify for genetic testing. I could have taken tamoxifen and fought with side effects for 5 years thinking I was helping myself out only to have zero impact on recurrence.

I’ve messaged oncology and have an appointment with psych this week so I’m doing all the things.

Radiology wants me to come in for an ultrasound to "plan" for the smart clip placement that will take place on the morning of DMX surgery. Marker is going in a lymph node. I live 2.5 hours away and my husband has been careful to manage his time off of work to drive me. Is it common to have this extra appointment?

Am 6 years post treatment (bilateral lumpectomies, one side DCIS, the other LCIS +3 lymph nodes removed & radiation).

All scans have been good and clean since treatment and surgery besides normal radiation changes and a mass near surgical site that has stayed consistent (likely between scar tissue and post surgical issue similar to a hematoma, they just never outright said that was what it was).

2 years ago after my annual MRI due to dense breast tissue I was called back for correlation scans and an MRI guided biopsy was scheduled as they could only see the spot in question by MRI. When the day came they couldn't see it, so didn't do it.

Fast forward to this year's MRI and I am scheduled for another.

Abnormal Spot the size of a deck of cards or computer mouse was found 😳.

Results say a "region of Non-Mass Enhancement" &

"Although this could represent background parenchymal enhancement, it is new from the prior exams and asymmetric compared with the right breast. BI-RADS 4"

I have not felt or noticed any changes or issues.

First ... Although with my original diagnosis and care I had 6 biopsies in one day (5 in the same breast) they were all ultrasound guided. Those were horrible, but I attributed to having so many at the same time.

I know MRI guided is a little different. This mass is deeper, according to a nurse, and why they haven't even tried to correlate with mammo or US.

I lift and use my arms extensively for work (bartending and serving).

How much time am I realistically going to need off to recover. I am ball parking a week so I don't have to stress trying to get shifts covered if the usual three days isn't enough.

Second... Anyone had a similar scan result and care to share their outcome?

Hi, what scans do you have post active treatment to detect for lobular mets? And how often? For those with mets, where did it spread to first and how did you find it? x

I started off with a needle biopsy and the technician kept hitting some nerves in armpit with sonogram. I let out a scream a couple of times from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t understand because she said how come it’s not hurting you anywhere else.
Fast forward had to back to the surgery with 10 lymph nodes removed, and I can barely move my arm from the nerve damage. Has anyone else ever had this and what can I do? I can’t go on with this pain.

I M hitting the one year mark of my first chemo therapy - also mh 35th birthday . I have so much resentment - mad at my body for giving me this ! I’m happy I got through chemo and am ok per se . But being on hormone meds for years fear of reoccurrence !! I hate the anxiety . My age . Barbie tits - feeling like an old person aches and pains from no estrogen !! Ugh just venting - tell me within the years it gets better ?!

Anyone have advice on dressy clothing I can hide my drains in? I am post surgery day 4. My 16 yo niece, who I am extremely close to, passed away this week from a brain bleed. I will be at all of her services. I refuse to miss them. I’m struggling to figure out what I can wear to look semi normal and formal enough for funeral services. Anyone have any ideas?
I made it through her honor walk for organ donation yesterday at the hospital in jeans and a surgery top with a zip up that has drain pockets. But I need formal clothing for the other services on Thursday and Saturday.
Feeling so broken

40 yo ++- bilat mastectomy with direct to reconstruction. Grade 1 waiting on path results from surgery.