Hello all,
Quick rundown: my oldest is transgender, so is her girlfriend. I have a bonus child (I became her legal guardian at 17) who is also transgender. My youngest daughter is nonbinary. I love and support all of them, plus my LGBT friends. I am a very fierce protector.

On to the issue: my parents do not accept kids. To my kids’ faces they say they love them but want to continue dead naming them. “You’ll always be birth name to me”. My kids are fine with it. They don’t talk to them that often. They tell me it’s their business with their grandparents.

The thing is, it’s not just their issue. I won’t have my kids dead named to me. They say it’s ok because my kids say they can. I don’t agree. I did talk to my parents more than my kids and won’t stand for it. My dad says it’s my fault and I need to be a better mom. According to him, I should not be arguing with him because he’s my dad. I told him I’m their mom 1st! My mom sent a birthday card to my house with my oldest’s dead name and I text her about it. We argued and she said to loose her number. Now she tells her family I’m refusing to talk to her and what a terrible daughter I am.

This came to a head again when I spent several months near my dad helping a family member through a medical emergency. I just left and we aren’t speaking. My mom is now working with my oldest sister to have her kids come out in December for a long weekend. My oldest sister invited the other sister, and my brother called me to ask about it after Mom invited him. He wants me to go and just “play nice”. I would rather chew glass. Also, my brother and oldest sister are gay. Huge blowout when they came out. Now my parents are fine with it. He’s the one that says I should just move past it for this “fresh start”. I’m angry and feel betrayed. Maybe I am digging my heels in too hard. I don’t know……

Sorry if this kind of post is not allowed. Also I'd like to clarify that my parents are very supportive and are helping me access HRT privately while I am studying at university, which I am very grateful for as otherwise I would have had to wait at least five years to try and access testosterone through the NHS.

That being said, there have been a couple of issues that have come up that I would like some advice about how to navigate.

I came out to them in November 2025 aged 22. My parents have gotten better at using the correct name and pronouns like 50-75% of the time. They do tend to be better with using the right name than with gendered signifiers. However within the last couple months they have started accidentally misgendering my cisgender sister while trying to correctly gender me? As in they keep accidentally using "he/him" pronouns for her and referring to us as "boys" when referring to us collectively. Why is this happening? Does anyone have advice for helping learn new pronouns? I worry about coming across as aggressive if I correct them every time they get mixed up. I am also not sure how my sister feels about getting misgendered in that way or if it is appropriate for me to correct them in that context.

I am also kind of unclear how my parents feel about the situation. My Dad hasn't reacted much, possibly because even as a small child I leaned fairly masculine and he was happy for me to take the defacto "son" role in the family even before I came out (I get the impression he was secretly grateful for an opportunity to do some of the stereotypical father/son bonding stuff having only had AFAB children).

But I am increasingly getting the impression my mother might have some more complicated feelings going on. She also didn't react much at first, but then we tried to have a conversation about gender stuff a few months after I came out and I think I might have fucked it up a little. She asked me when I realised I was trans and then got upset when I said I had realised as a child, because I hadn't told her or my father.

The context for why I didn't come out then is rather complicated, but one of the reasons was she didn't let me cut my hair short or wear boys clothing like I wanted to and also insisted that I remove my body hair shortly after puberty started. Because of this I didn't particularly want to talk with her about gender stuff. I possibly should not have been honest about that being my motivation when she asked why I didn't tell her. She got upset, told me she only did that because she didn't want me to get bullied (I got bullied anyway and I suspect coming out as trans would not have improved that situation which was one of the reasons I remained in the closet), and claimed she would definitely have supported me coming out as trans in the 2000s. I pointed out it was kind of hard for me to tell she would have been supportive of me being a boy if she didn't let me do anything overly masculine and again maybe I should have been less blunt there.

We didn't talk about anything gender related for a few months after that. She was kind of weird about some stuff related to testosterone once the effects of that became visible but I think she was just being ignorant rather than deliberately making fun of me? The problem is after she saw that some of the things she said made me upset it led to an argument where she told me she didn't ask for a trans kid so it wasn't her fault she didn't know what she was doing and that she felt like she was "walking on eggshells" around me.

This made me feel sad, so once things were calmer a couple of days later I tried to talk with her about gender again and said she could ask me any questions she wanted so she could understand stuff better. But then she said she didn't have any questions because she had "read some articles online that explained how things work" (I think she read an article on HRT?) and she seemed to almost be in denial that we had had an argument at all?

Is there something really obvious I am fucking up here? Does anyone who has been in a similar family situation have any advice? Is there anything you wish your trans kid had told you/explained to you so things made more sense?

Hey guys,

Up until recently, we thought our youngest child (AMAB, use he/him for him, but I'll avoid that here, because I don't want to offend anyone) was cis. They knew all about trans people, as their best friend from elementary school is a trans girl. I directly told them about a year ago that if they wanted to be a girl, it would be fine, and got little to no real response.

Then I noticed when they turned 13, and I went into the google account to give a bit more flexibility, the account had gender: female. At the time, I presumed it was an accident, but a few weeks later, I asked them about it, and it was clear they set it that way on purpose and didn't know I could find out. I tried to follow up further with them - ask if they wanted to get some new clothes, paint their nails, etc. - but they didn't really have anything much further to add. The only further thing I got out of them is when they play D&D, they play a female character.

Then, in the last week, they told me they wanted to go trick-or-treating with their best friend, and wanted an Evee Pokémon costume. I looked them up, and realized it was a dress. Asked if they were sure, they said yes, so I got it.

To be clear, we have no issue with a transition. Our child is a cancer survivor, which has unfortunately resulted in stunted growth. They are 4'9", and likely to only grow another two inches. I've actually considered for awhile that it might be easier for them as a trans girl than as a cis guy. Though for the moment it's kind of moot, because the only medical facility which did trans-supportive care for minors ended service due to Trump's bullshit, so it's not like much can be done in the next two years.

But yeah, I'm not sure what to do here, other than wait until they feel comfortable discussing it more with us. They are on the spectrum and have a somewhat hard time identifying their own emotions, so I'm not sure if even they are sure about their identity at the moment.

Thanks for any thoughts.

On Monday, our kid (AMAB) told my wife and I that they wanted to be our daughter instead of our son.

We are trying our best to be supportive, but we are really struggling. This came out of the blue for us. Three years ago, he came out as gay, and we were cool with that. But he hasn’t ever been effeminate, aside from long hair and fingernails.

Always wore boy clothes, never had any typically feminine expression.

Now at 16, asking to be referred to by a new name and feminine pronouns.

Where do we even start?
I want my kid to be happy, and feel right in their own body, but I worry because this doesn’t make sense to us yet.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My kid started at a new school this year, and overall it’s been a positive experience.
for context, AMAB, identified as trans for a while but has identified as NB for a few years and prefers she/her pronouns.

She told me last night though that one teacher has consistently been misgendering her, including using “sir” and “boy.” She has corrected him a few times. This only came out bc she suddenly announced that she hated the subject this teacher teaches, which has never been a thing before. I dug a little bit and it all spilled out.

The issue is that my kid does NOT want me to get involved. I suggested I causally send the teacher an email, or asking admin to make sure that all of her teachers know her pronouns. She said if I talked to anyone at school about it she’d “never tell me anything like this again.”
This is her first experience with an adult refusing to use the correct pronouns to her face (we dealt with family resistance when she was younger but managed to keep all that from her), so we don’t have a roadmap.

We did look into how welcoming this school is before starting here, so I truly think admin doesnt know. My kid said no issues with other teachers.

Any suggestions? I’d like to workshop some ideas with her, and get her buy-in. I fear this is a safety issue just waiting to explode so can’t be brushed aside/ignored.
My biggest fear is that other kids will start bullying her based on the teacher’s misgendering. At minimum, other kids will be confused about what pronouns to use and now my kid hates a class at school.
Help!

CONTEXT: Lately, I've been trying to set a lot more boundaries with my family, because my whole life they have had control over me. I told my parents that I can't stay in conversation where they talk about how I killed their daughter (I'm FTM), that I can't go on Christmas family vacation with them if they are still unable to say my new name (but I think if they said my new name, but continued to constantly criticize me and still saw me as "delusional" because I'm trans, which they told me before, I still wouldn't wanna go), and that I can't call them as much as they want me to. We used to call like every day and then I would let them know if I something else came up, but that didn't leave much room for me not calling simply because I didn't feel up to it or didn't want to that day. Or at least, that's how I felt. My parents would probably say "Of COURSE you don't have to call, we never said you did!" But here's how I see it: They never directly say what they want, because they know what they want is an unreasonable amount of control, access, and monitoring, so instead of directly stating their wants, they manipulate me into them. Anywho, I also told my sister that I can't promise to reach out to her a certain amount of times per week, not even once per week, because I don't want her to worry if I forget or get busy, and I also told her that I need to be able to exit conversations without justifying myself or her calling me fifty million times. Because indeed, she called me at least 10 times after I ended a conversation, even though I told her that I was okay and would call her back in a couple of days to continue the conversation. I eventually blocked her temporarily, and then she started calling me on Instagram.

Basically, my family is not so great at boundaries.

CURRENT SITUATION: I recently had a call where my sister was trying to convince me to go on family vacation, and I just calmly told her that nothing she could say would change my mind, that I had already thought of the points she had brought up to me in our last conversation. Repeatedly. She seemed really frustrated that I wasn't budging and asked if I even TRIED to change my mind. I thought, hm, that's kinda odd, is someone supposed to TRY to convince themselves to erase their boundaries? I told her, "Well I definitely thought about what you said and I thought about this decision a lot. I think it's important that I don't make decisions unless I know why I'm making it, and I understand what the consequences will be." Stuff like that. I basically kept trying to explain my reasoning, then when she asked again repeated it, and reiterated that I wasn't changing my mind. And when she told me how sad this made her, I told her, "I know, I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be" basically.

PROBLEM: She said that I was being rude and mean because I was "talking to her like she was a five year old" and "looking at her without any emotion on my face". I'm basically trying to yellow rock, which involves a certain level of emotional detachment for my wellbeing, but I don't want to be mean or rude. You guys unfortunately can't know exactly what my tone was cuz you weren't there, but how do I know if I'm being mean/rude or if they're just saying I am? The thing is, my family does not see themselves as unhealthy at all. They see my boundaries and emotional distance as unwarranted. It makes me feel like I'm being needlessly cruel, because from their perspective and because of how they see themselves, I AM.

HOW THIS RELATES TO MY CISGENDER PARENTS, AND QUESTION FOR YALL: I haven't talked to my parents since the huge fight we had a couple of weeks ago when I told them that I can't go on Christmas vacation because of the name thing and that I can't stay in conversations where my mom is openly grieving "her daughter". Yeah, they really hated that shit. Anywho, eventually I'm gonna have to talk to them since I don't want to end our relationship, and I know they're gonna pull the same shit about how I'm not expressing any emotions so I don't care. They've done it countless times before. I personally feel like they're not satisfied until they are presented with evidence that their guilt tripping is working or hurting me, what do yall think? And how do I handle these accusations of not caring because that's how it seems from their perspective?

I mean, I figure most of yall are pretty healthy parents. I'm sure it would hurt a lot to see your kids distancing themselves from you, and seemingly not caring about your feelings. My parents see themselves as the kind of parents you are, good ones. They see themselves as totally reasonable. So how do I know that they AREN'T reasonable and that the precautions I'm taking ARE warranted? I just feel bad because I know that if I was doing this to a totally healthy parent/sister, it would feel pretty hurtful. If I had a kid or sibling who seemed to see me as dangerous and needing to distance themselves from me for their own protection, I would feel SO SAD. But I suppose, if I was in their shoes, I wouldn't be asking my kid to drop their walls, I'd probably be asking them why they feel the need to protect themselves and how I can fix it with a genuine intent to change. What would you do if you were in my parents' shoes?

EDIT: In the past, I have also said hurtful things. I called my sister immature once, after the whole calling me a bunch after I left the conversation situation. I immediately apologized during our conversation, though. I also apologized during our most recent conversation for being patronizing/talking to her like a five year old. I think ive also said hurtful things to my parents, though i cant recall anything in particular because i just kind of black out during our most stressful fights. I don’t ever recall calling them names like “immature”, thats the type of things they say to me. I might have, though, and just can’t remember it.

I’m a trans girl and I’ve always knew that I was a girl from when I was 2, but tried to live as a Christian boy, feminine boy, and a trans girl. When I lived as a Christian boy it felt ”unnatural“ and being in a role that isn’t me and I had the pressure to act as a boy instead of myself and I got mental health issues from it. Then I tried living as a Christian trans girl and now I don’t have any pressure to change myself and feel the most honest and happiest I’ve ever been with God. But my mental health has been getting worse because I’ve been asking if we could start medical care for a long time and still my dad is saying no. My dad has seen my mental health getting worse and it’s obvious, but he says it’s all because of my wish of hormones that‘s made my mental health worse so we wouldn’t get it. He also doesn’t support trans anymore and thinks it could be a sin because he’s seen my mental health getting worse “after I became trans” even though I always was, but couldn’t because he used to be an anti-trabs and against trans Christians. He only believes I have gender dysphoria and I’m choosing to be trans and when I’m “reborn on Christ” my identity would change.

So I’m trying to do things that could help my situation and he doesn’t accept progressive Christian books at all so it’s hard to find stuff. The first part I did find; therapy sessions with Dr. Mark Yarhouse for my dad to learn to accept my identity and see me a girl, but Dr. Mark also doesn’t support medical care.

What are some books or resources that can help to be my next step that’s traditional Christian but also does support trans medical care?

My 13y/o son recently came out, and I am curious how to refer to them in the past. I don’t want to deadname them, but that was their identity at the time. I asked them and they don’t have an opinion right now. I want to honor and respect them now and account for how they may feel in the future, but it’s also peculiar projecting their current identity backwards.

Good morning,

My name is Celina, and I'm a graduate student journalist based in NYC. I'm currently working on a story about ongoing cuts to gender-affirming care for minors (most recently, we saw this happen at NYU Langone).

I'm hoping to speak with a few parents of trans kids about their journeys to finding care, current feelings on the state of gender-affirming care in the U.S., and what is needed from our policymakers and communities at this time.

Please know that the safety of your family and your children is my utmost priority, so if you're willing to be interviewed for this piece, I am more than happy to have a conversation about what I can do to help you feel most secure – for example, by keeping all names anonymous, changing identifying details, etc. The mods have vetted me and approved this post, but I'm happy to share more information about my work with interested parties (as well as my contact information) via DM. I myself am queer and have covered LGBTQ+ issues, politics and culture around the country.

I should note that while New York-based voices are helpful, I am super open to hearing stories from across the U.S., and even international experiences as well.

Please send me a message if you'd be interested in speaking! My first draft deadline is this coming Sunday night, 10/18, so it'd be great to connect before then (open to hearing from folks who are available after that as well though).

Thanks all!

I am the parent of a teen who is planning to start medical transition MtF in over a year or so when they are eighteen.

There are many reasons why I am struggling with this myself, which I won't go all into here.

However another huge source of worry for me is our extended family. We are a very very close knit family with grandparents always having been very involved and hands on. We are immigrants from Russia which probably tells you something, yes the grandparents have become more open minded over time and they don't have an issue with other lgbt folks, they would likely be okay with their grandkids coming out as gay or bi; however this is a whole other level, and I know without a doubt it will absolutely devastate them. Not because they are bigoted or hate trans people but because they have been brought up in a very conformist culture, and making yourself stand out in such a way is seen as basically a tragedy. Not to mention they are staunchily against unnecessary medical intervention, my mom is the sort that won't even take an advil unless she's dying, she didn't do HRT because of the risks, she doesn't trust modern medicine saying something is safe because so often they go back on findings later. So the idea of taking massive amounts of hormones to physically alter your body and keep doing it for life will be, inconceivably horrifying to her. And ngl it's pretty horrifying to me as well, I am just working on accepting that there is nothing i can do about it. But to our parents, they already believed we were wrong to allow our kid to spend a lot of time online (they are also ND and into coding/ gaming as special interest so we did allow more than we were comfortable with to try to help with regulation), that we didn't get them into sports etc enough, all sorts of ways we could have been better parents - and now I am certain these will all be reasons for them to say it's our fault our child fell into this mindset. No amount of science about being trans will change anything. I know they will be distraught and devastated, and our child will be seen as the victim of our bad parenting. We have always been very close but I feel that after this, there would be forever a shadow of resentment from them towards us 'ruining' their grandchild. Maybe I am wrong and they will come around but I sincerely doubt it at least not for years. It's destroying me to think about. My own grandmother is still in Russia and as much as I love her and wish her a long life, nI have actually caught myself thinking I would prefer she didn't live to hear this, because it will metaphorically kill her. Most of our friend group is also from the same culture and I won't even go into the judgement and gossip that will bring. I'm fine with distancing myself from friends. But extended family has always been such a major part of our life and it's killing me to think about the pain it will cause all around.

Anyone with similar cultural background gone through it and came out the other side? I will say right away i don't want to hear opinions like "stand by your child and cut out/ go no contact with everyone else, if they don't support them they're bigots etc etc". This is not and never have been our family dynamics and I am not okay with it being such now. Yes I will stand by my child but I also don't want to hurt my family of origin in the process or destroy our relationship.

I'm an adult post-transition man, not myself a parent, and not affiliated with this event. Just sharing the resource and have attended it myself in the past.

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TransPride YOUniting Health & Wellness Virtual Conference: Oct 15-17

• Opens Thu, Oct 15 at 7:30/8 am EST
• Ends Sat, Oct 17 at 5:30 pm EST

• Fully virtual; open to all but USA-based

• Free registration for trans individuals and the parents and caregivers of trans individuals

• Can use pseudonym to register and attend anonymously if you so choose

• All keynote and speaker sessions streamed live

• Only select sessions will be recorded to be available for a limited time for later viewing

➡️ ➡️ Register here ⬅️ ⬅️

👀See the schedule 👀

Hi everyone, so I am 18yo and I have been out to my mum as trans for 4 years and I have known about myself for 5 years. I accidentally wore my pride pins home one day that say “he/him” and “hi my name is _”. I am keeping my name private so this post can’t be traced back to me. Anyways I am quite vocal about feminism in my everyday life I believe all people should be equal I believe that I don’t like the patriarchy and I am quite the advocate. I repost a lot of stuff on my Instagram and facebook accounts and my mum always has something to say when it’s about my advocacy. I am really comfortable in who I am and my gender and everything about myself so when I want to, yes I may act or dress or enjoy things that girls may also enjoy. But being a boy doesn’t mean I stop being myself? Anyways it’s been an ongoing issue where every time I repost something or talk about problems in America my mum always says that I am too focused on America and I need to be concerned about my own backyard but America influences the whole world including my family, my friends, the politics in my country. I recently reposted something about the Cornell 57 and I was responded to with “American issue”. Then later I reposted something about how men see the world and she responded with “so then why do you want to be a boy?” And I honestly don’t know what to say because I have told her it’s not a want. She asks me this often like when I wanted to wear a dress to my school dance which was a big mistake I was so uncomfortable lol I was like “hmm if I pretend to be a girl maybe being trans will go away” any trans people reading this do not do that it doesn’t work. She also asks me every time I talk about feminism and my rights and I am just exhausted explaining and re-explaining and she says everyone feels this way but when I asked her friends they said that they never told her about how they feel about my transness and they’re not confused and they did research about it. Yeah idk I’m just rambling now lol

TLDR: My mum keeps asking me why do I want to be a boy every time I mention feminism or anything like that. She also doesn’t like when I mention American problems.

hi! I hesitated to write here but I need to get this of my chest. my child is 24, AMAB. here is the stoty.

they never wanted to be a woman through their upbringing. they considered themselves genderfluid since they were about 19. that was #MeToo peak and we talked a lot about men and how they could be dangerous. then they talked to me about how I couldn’t provide them proper father figure with my two husbands and how they struggle with their masculinity because of that.

than they actually decided they are trans.

and now they are in USA getting their PhD. apparently they got HRT from their university clinic without proper medical exam (I mean, me and their biological father are bipolar. and they were diagnosed with AHDH and depression to begin with). I knew about these plans. i just didn’t know it would happen so soon.

Im not transphobic at all. please hear me out. I’m very afraid my child is making a grave mistake. I’m absolutely sure this is a very cerebral decision. they always wanted to be the part of LGBTQ+ community and unfortunately they are not gay, just bi-curious. in our country being LGBTQ = being straitforward opposition. and of course they want to be in the opposition.

I’m in the opposition too, our political views are the same. but I’m very afraid for my child. I’m very afraid for their physical and mental health. I’m very afraid for their fertility. I’m very afraid considering how they could come home in our very transphobic country. 

I gave birth very young, I was only 19. I grew up with this child and I can’t stand an idea they would suffer with their choices.

I have an appointment with gender therapist today, though I still can’t sleep because of anxiety. please be gentle in the comments, I’m very fragile rn.

Hello all! I’m a non-binary person who struggles with relatives who misgender me often. I came out over a year and a half ago and recently got top surgery. The trouble is my whole family is religious and conservative and almost all of them misgender me. I am out of the house and financially independent but I still keep in contact. Every time me or my spouse corrects them they apologize say they will do better (mostly because they likely think I’ll cut them off if they don’t) and then they continue calling me my deadname and old pronouns. I struggle to correct people mostly because I don’t see the point if they won’t change. But then I feel bad not correcting people because I feel like I betrayed myself. I’m going to see them at Christmas and want to set boundaries a head of time but don’t know how mostly because I don’t think it’ll change anything. Today I was on the phone with my mom and she read a text she sent to her boyfriend about me to someone else. I’m the text she deadnamed me multiple times and used the wrong pronouns a lot. Usually when she does this she apologizes but this time she didn’t. I am wondering if she has even told her boyfriend I’m trans which could be a whole mess since he will be there for Christmas. I’d love advice and support since I feel kind of lost on this one. Thanks in advance!

Hi all!

I've got two trans kids, both (fairly recently) out of high school. They both struggle with anxiety, ADHD and depression. I'm getting more and more worried about them both. They've been self-isolating since graduation, which has led to loneliness, bad feelings and compounding self-isolation.

I want to help each find a community. I feel like a community will help them not only with loneliness, but also the nitty-gritty stuff about being their true selves (picking cool clothes, voice training, doing makeup, etc). I have no idea where to start, though.

I'd also REALLY like to get each a trustworthy mentor of some kind. That feels even more terrifying, though. I'd hate to make things worse by pairing them up with someone who only wants to take advantage of them.

Does anyone have pointers for me? We're in the Portland, OR metro area, if that helps.

Thanks and love to all.

Hi, 18-year-old, very possibly and looking more like I am MTF.

I am hoping someone here has advice for getting my parents to accept me and give me hope for the future.

I expressed my feelings and thoughts about being trans a little more than a year ago, and as time has gone on, things have not improved. My parents 1000% love me and want me to be happy, but they're having a very difficult time with this, and I don't know if they're choosing not to face this and burying their heads in the sand or can't accept this and it's eating them up inside.

We don't talk about it much, maybe 4-5 times since I first told them, and it always ends with either my mom or me, or both of us, in tears. She can't seem to wrap her head around the idea that I could be trans, and to her credit, it is a bit difficult for me to articulate how I'm feeling, and I myself still question if I'm trans (I have many a post about it if you wish to read more; I honestly encourage it so you can hopefully get a full scope; these posts should hopefully be the most useful: Post 1, Post 2)

My mom is also very distraught, and from what I've read on here, it seems to fit the description of her grieving, which makes me feel really, really bad. She even told me once that it feels like I'm killing her son. I feel awful about this, and it makes me feel like she'll never accept this, and I can never transition because it'll hurt her too much. Both my parents have told me I'll always be their son and that they will never not use my birth name or change my pronouns. My mom has also expressed fears about my safety. Many other things have been said, and I will elaborate if asked, but I don't want this post to be terribly long, especially if you choose to read the linked posts, which are quite long too.

So here I am. Part of me, as mentioned before, doesn't know if I am truly trans. However, another part of me wants to start hormones and start physically changing; part of me considers bottom surgery and the possibility of having it one day if I so choose; part of me fantasizes about having a lesbian relationship and getting to share that happiness with my parents; part of me imagines my wedding and can't stand to think my special day will be ruined because I have to be the groom and not a bride.

So I am asking, can it get better? How can I help it get better? I really don't want to talk to them about it because it's too difficult. Did anyone else experience this, and if so, what did you do?

If your child uses Medicaid or CHIP for gender-affirming care, you may be trying to figure out what the October 13 changes mean for their next appointment or prescription.

We put together a guide for you. We wanted to bring the information together because funding changes, state laws, and individual hospitals’ decisions can get mixed together in the headlines.

The guide explains what’s changing, where states have announced plans to continue funding care, and what remains uncertain. It also covers hospital restrictions, which can affect families with private insurance.

There’s a list of questions you can take to your child’s clinic or insurance plan, including:

• Will their next prescription or appointment be covered?
• Is there state funding available for their treatment?
• Will their current provider continue offering care?
• If the clinic is ending services, can it help arrange a transfer?

Here’s the guide: https://queertransproject.org/medicaid-guide/

We’ve linked sources throughout and marked where we couldn’t confirm a state funding plan. We hope it makes figuring out the next steps a little easier.

If you’ve found an official state or hospital update we missed, please share it. And if there’s a question you’re still struggling to get answered, that would help us understand what needs a clearer explanation.

Sending love to you and your kids as you navigate all of this. You deserve clear answers, support, and a community in your corner. 💜

Our daughter (now 16) came out to us in April, we are fully supportive and it’s been wonderful to see a lightness coming back into their eyes. They are out to their friends and to our immediate family. After a few months and with their permission they are out to a couple of our family friends as well. Everyone has been extremely positive and affirming. The time has come to tell grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins. Which isn’t a large group.

So far we, the parents, have been the ones to tell the family friends and I planned to be the one to tell their grandmother (my mom) one on one.

Just curious if that’s pretty typical. Or should we be making our daughter come out to people face to face. I do think they will be supportive but likely surprised and confused and probably emotional. Heck it still makes me emotional even though I am fully supportive and want to see my kid thrive and love their best life. I feel so thankful she has been able to come out to us, I want to make the process easy for her. And she seems happy to have us tell those she has approved. After extended family has been told we will probably just use new pronouns without explicitly explaining unless people ask.

But is that the right thing to do?

I have two trans middle schoolers. The younger one came out in preschool and has been insistent ever since. They are getting close to puberty and want to start blockers soon. They have been in GAC for years, so we hadn't really stressed about it much, just a medication they would get once it is needed.

However, policies changed and the clinic is now requiring both parents attend in person to sign off that we are allowing the treatment.

Now onto my issue-

My husband had a mental breakdown a few years ago. He became unable to parent, and has moved out to his own place for the kids' stability. Dad is able to work some, but I am mainly supporting him. We are not planning on divorce and will move back in with each other once the kids are grown.

Dad is ambivalent about gender care at this point and trusts me to make all the decisions for what our kids need. He absolutely refuses to go into the Dr's office though. It's a major fear for him, and I don't think he'll be able to get past it anytime soon.

Has anyone dealt with this, or know of resources to go to for help?

The Dr suggested we go through court and get an emergency parenting plan in place to take all custody from Dad then we can bypass the policy. That feels a little extreme, and I worry it will make Dad spiral. There's a difference in knowing you can't care for your kids, and a court saying you are not allowed to care for your kids. When he spirals he can't be around the kids much, even supervised, so it would mean the kids wouldn't get to see their dad for awhile. Last time he spiralled it was close to 2 years before he got back to being able to spend time around them. And that worries me to put the kids through it again.

If anyone has advice to navigate this it would really appreciate it.

I will be tuning in.