I love my boomer grandma, but she is so out of touch.

I love my boomer grandma very much, but she is so out of touch.

I graduated college in May, I was home for 2 months, then went back to the state where I now live.

I have a degree in business admin.

I applied to literally HUNDREDS of jobs. Banks, insurance companies, etc. Most never called back. Some refused even before an interview. Even after interviews, I got an email days later that said “we are moving on with other candidates” or “you have been denied for lack of experience”

I was being kicked off my parents health insurance effective DEC 31. I needed something.

Guns are my biggest hobby. I shoot competitions at least once a month. The second in command of her local Police Department teaches at a place called Gunsite Academy in Paulden, AZ.

I took several 40 hour gun training classes there during my spring and fall breaks in college. I learned a lot about shooting and the combat mindset.

I was planning ahead near graduation and took the state mandated security guard class and thought “This will be my backup plan”

The man who taught the class runs a gun business. During class I told him about a gun I bought that broke. He told me to bring it to him some time after class. I went over there and he fixed it. I’ve been over there many times. I then asked if I can be an assistant at his business and he started training me.

Cut to earlier this month. I fill out the indeed application for a local contract security company on Monday. I get a call from the HR guy. HR guy offers me an interview.

I tell him about my plight of being unemployed for almost 6 months. About the hundreds of applications, etc. I tell him about my training and experience.

After said interview, I said “thank you very much for your time. I will await the email that says whether or not I got the job “

Him: “no email necessary, are you willing to work for us”

Me: “sure”

Him: “you report to training here at 9 am Thursday.

I tell my grandmother the good news

She snaps

“I do not approve of you getting any job where you would need to carry a gun. You need to try to be a bank teller”

Me:

“I applied for every bank teller position in my area and I was refused for lack of experience”

My mother then talked to her

A lot of boomers don’t comprehend just how bad the job market is. She even tried to say I need to go around to local businesses and hand out my resume. My neighbor was an HR person at a major bank, she confirmed that doesn’t work anymore.

Anyway

I work an overnight 12 at the gas station on Sunday night.

I’m excited to start earning real money.

Me and my mom had a really rocky relationship all throughout high school. I’m 23 now and have recently moved back home and it’s been hard for a whole host of reasons but one is I’ve noticed my mom has not forgiven me for being a teenager.

In high school I was a good kid (a million extracurriculars, self sufficient, made my own money, 4.0, got into a top 10 college) but I had a mouth on me. Looking back I have said some things I regret and I had attitudes I am ashamed of/cringe at now. I used to blow up at her and be so angry. I remember even slamming dishes around just WISHING she would say something so I’d have an excuse to yell at her. I have apologized multiple times for some of these moments as an adult. My mom says she understands, but she doesn’t feel comfortable enough trying to have a close relationship with me. We don’t really talk and when we do she never fails to bring up how horrible I was as a teenager.

I’m not trying to avoid accountability, but my mom also wasn’t the greatest mom to me in my opinion. I think she genuinely tried and did a lot of things right but she also parentified me: I took care of the whole house, I was the one cooking dinner, I was the one helping my alcoholic father, I was her therapist whenever she would talk about how she wanted to cheat on my dad, she would even show me the guys that she wanted to be with and ask my opinion, when my brother was suicidal she basically handed that responsibility off to me to take care of him , etc. I remember being like eight years old and she would wake me up out of my sleep and sit me in the middle of a screaming match between my brother and my dad and she would tell me to mediate the conversation. Whenever I would try to talk about these things with my mom growing up (or even now) she tells me, and everyone else in our circle, that I’m being dramatic, that I’m making it up, or she doesn’t remember. I feel like I can’t really talk about my relationship with my mom to my siblings or other family members because they didn’t really get the version of her that I got, or they know that it’s true, but they don’t feel comfortable enough acknowledging it so they shut down the conversation. It makes me feel like I’m some huge asshole.

I don’t know. Now that I’m living back at home it feels very weird and I just want to escape, but I’m here to save money to move out. Sometimes I think I want a better relationship with my mom. I know she’s entitled to feel the way that she’s feeling, but it does bother me that I’ve been able to forgive her for the mean things she’s said and done to me when I was the child in the situation. I know it’s toxic to compare, but if I’m being honest sometimes when she’s telling me about how horrible she felt like I was I can’t help but think “aren’t you the same person that said xyz to me?” I hate feeling defensive when someone is acknowledging their feelings but I don’t feel like she’s acknowledged her role in WHY I was so angry either. Especially since I was the only one in the family who really handled everything by myself, I got myself into college with nobody’s help, which is a big deal because in my community people don’t even really graduate high school.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t like how this family views me. My mom has grown in a lot of ways, as have I, but a lot of times talking to her and hearing her constantly bring up arguments we used to have just makes me feel like an angry teenager all over again. I don’t know what it’s like to be a mom and be on the receiving end of things so I don’t know how much of her behavior is truly a reflection of how terrible I was or a level of avoidance on her end. It makes me feel crazy.

I am 23 (F) and my dad makes me really sad. When I first got into college, I wanted to become a doctor, not because I felt like I had to be, but because I genuinely wanted to. And that is an important context because I am Asian. I have never felt forced to choose a career which I am forever grateful for. However, coming into my third year of college, I have lost all motivation to become a doctor. I realized I did not want that life, and there are more things that I want to accomplish. I'm not an incredibly smart person that I passed all of my classes in college. In fact, I failed biology twice which made me rethink my career choice and led me switching from human biology to chemistry. Deep down, I had no other choice and wanted to stay in a science major because I have taken only science pre-requisites. However, I came to love chemistry, as much as I hated organic chemistry. I also learned that I enjoy the corporate environment and wanted to use my chemistry background to go into industry. This is also when I gained interest in pharmacy and was thinking of pursuing it after I graduated. This was only in the back of my mind because I wanted to see if I could get a job in corporate because I did an internship in the summer. While looking for a job after college, I didn't really have any luck, so I decided to just full send pharmacy.

When I finally had the courage to tell my dad (I told my mom first and she was really supportive), he completely blew up in my face. I told him before that I didn't want to pursue medical school anymore, and he told me to not make any rash decisions; he was also mad that I switched to chemistry without telling him. It was brushed off because I went back to school. But when I graduated, and I told him I wanted to go into pharmacy, he was basically saying that he is not letting me and that if I do that then he won't see me as his daughter and part of the family anymore. Basically, he is saying that I will be an independent. I really want to pursue pharmacy as it will be a steppingstone into the career that I want to be in later on in life. He keeps saying that his pride is hurt because he already told our family members about my dreams of going to medical school. But I just don't understand why he is putting his pride above the happiness of his daughter. He is saying I have no goal in life, no determination, that I am doing nothing for myself, etc...He asks me what I do all day in my room, whereas I am applying to jobs, working on my pharmacy application, emailing people, looking for classes, and doing everything that I can during this dead period.

The last conversation was about a month ago, and today he talked to me again. And he kept talking and talking and guilt tripping me, asking if I want to be treated as a daughter, a member of this family, or do I want to be treated as an independent. He then brought up all of the expenses that he had to pay for me, saying "you want to make decisions on your own, but when things need to be done and stuff needs to be paid, you turn to family." Obviously, I know that I need a job, and I am trying my hardest to find one. But it really hurts to see your dad threaten to cut everything off if I don't follow what he says. The whole conversation he is yelling at me, and at one point I wondered if there was any point to this conversation. The whole time he was asking leading questions, which I can only answer yes or no to. Why must he use my accomplishments to boost his ego and shun me when I don't do what he says. I don't know, this was a pretty long post, and I don't even know why I wrote it. I think I just wanted to vent somewhere, because I can't just keep telling my friends. At the end of the day, I know that I have to do what I need to do. It's just hard when I have to walk on eggshells around my dad. And we have always had issues before, but this just hits a lot harder. He even says he won't be proud or celebrate my accomplishments in the future because it's not the path that he wanted me to go on.

I love my dad, and I know he loves me, but he makes it really hard sometimes. I don't know what to feel. One moment I am mad at him, and the next I think about how old he is and how much his health has declined. I don't know anymore

If you read up to here, I want to thank you for your time. I hope you guys have a great rest of your day. Thanks for being here. I love you all.

Je \[18 F\] me sens totalement perdue depuis quelques mois. Je commence le cégep mais j’ai de la difficulté à m’adapter à cause de mon TDAH et anxiété. Je crois que les nombreux changements durant les dernières semaines sont une des raisons de mes difficultés. Depuis les trois derniers mois j’ai déménagé pour la première fois, j’ habite avec mon père alors qu’avant j’habitais avec ma mère. Moi et toute ma famille nous sommes avec ma mère et elle m’a dit de faire comme si on ne s’était jamais chicaner ou d’aller vivre chez mon père. Mercredi passé, moi et ma mère nous nous sommes reparlés et elle m’a dit qu’elle ne voulait pas parler de nos chicanes passées. J’ai accepté en pensant que elle aussi avait travaillé sur ses problèmes mais j’ai été déçue par son absence d’efforts. Est ce que je devrais mettre autant d’efforts de cette relation? Je sais que ça ferait plaisir aux autres membres. Je crains que ma mère parle en mal de moi à mon frère \[10M\]et ma sœur \[6F\]. J’espère que je post ceci dans le bon subreddit puisque que mon post sur r/advices a été supprimé pour une raison que je ne comprends pas. J’espère avoir votre avis et vos conseils.

So to start both of my parents are passed I began college last fall but had to drop out due to mental health issues relating to my best friends passing.

I paid off my balance for that semester and now i am halfway through this one and in order to get back into good financial aid standing I need to pay for the current semester as well.

Well… I procrastinated and now there is one installment left of 3.2k. I can’t pay it all at once and if I can’t transfer it or set it into a payment plan then I can’t enroll into classes for the spring semester. (Which is okay but not preferred.)

I just really really need advice I don’t know what to do

I hate the idea that people pleasers are these righteous set of people who don't wanna cause any harm to other and are angels walking this earth when this is the exact opposite.

The are covert narcissists that wanna project a good image even if meant sacrificing someone else in that. I hate them. My mom would sell me for a dime or even free if someone came to her and be like I wanna fuck you daughter otherwise I will feel bad. This crazy bitch has never taught me how to set boundaries.

So naturally I’m someone everyone takes advantage of, I cannot keep blaming other because just like the scorpion and frog story, a scorpion innate nature is to bite if Im getting bitten by everyone then Im the problem who is not able to defend herself.

When I try to have boundaries she punishes me and teached me to abandon them and how to make other people happy. fcuk this bitch im tired of making her ans others happy at the cost of my well being.

Last night, my kiddo came to me upset and I was able to not only help, but despite the teenage horror, give them a hug.

It struck me, as someone who had very loving parents, but ones who struggled to give me the support I needed, and died young, that I'm glad I can be there for kiddo.

I wish that all of you had that - you deserve unconditional love and support. You all deserve it!

Just because our parents don't have the ability to give it, that doesn't mean you don't deserve it.

I care about you. So do many other people even when it doesn't feel like it.

Take care and know I think you're amazing.

Hi, I (17m) would appreciate any advice in helping me figure out what I should invest like my time and energy into.

Unfortunately for the majority of my high school career I have experienced instability at home, starting when one of my parents was involved with legal issues at their workplace. This began right as I started high school and there were nights where my parents were stressed, broke down in tears, and were worried about finances. There were nights like this on vacations, Friday nights, that lasted about 2 years. I couldn’t help but listen in to what they were saying, and I spent a great deal of time worrying about my future during that time.

After that period of my life ended, my parents separated less than a week after the legal issues finally concluded. Since then, my parents mental health has deteriorated rapidly. Both of my parents have had breakdowns after the divorce process commenced. One of my parents has anger issues and that has certainly been exacerbated throughout this whole ordeal. My other parent has also been taking these last few year pretty badly, one thing that has stuck with me was when they had a breakdown in the middle of a major foreign city, where I had to help both my sister and my parent stop crying in public.

There are plenty of other examples of the instability at home but those have stuck with me the most. I write this as last night my parent and sister had a disagreement and I ended up having to bring her home at almost midnight. I’m just tired of all of this and honestly I don’t feel a reaction as much as I did when this all began.

Of course I have my own issues, I have my own social issues and concerns but I have found myself entering a bad mental state in the last couple of months and I’m trying my best to get out of it. One big issue of mine is an eating issue that isn’t diagnosed but seems to be something along the lines of ARFID. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have it, but essentially eating new foods is very difficult for me and when I try eating new foods I start gagging and sometimes end up vomiting. This is a problem I have dealt with my entire life and I have faced ridicule from my extended family due to my eating habits because they believe I am faking it. Add that in with the fact that I’m 5’6 and unfortunate looking, it has certainly taken a toll on my mental health. For about a year I’ve been using weed and now I feel like Im addicted to it which adds on all the stuff I’ve already been dealing with.

Now I’m applying to colleges after I’ve done decent in school, and now I feel like I have no idea where I wanna go or what I wanna do. I started working out a little under 3 weeks ago but I’m not very good at it and honestly have no idea if the form I have is correct.

I guess what I want people to take away from this is just that I want to know what I can do to help improve my mental health or just myself, I don’t wanna tell anyone in my family this because they have their own problems and I don’t wanna make them more stressed out than they already are. It was really hard for me to write this and I would greatly appreciate any advice people have to help improve myself and my mental health.

i guess i’m assuming but i literally hear my aunt talking abt me to my cousin abt a convo with me my aunt when my aunt asked if i could clean her room for her so i asked why and she said u need money right? so i was like okay. and she was telling that to my cousin but her tone sounded like she was portraying me negatively. when i was js confused i just said why and that’s it when i asked. my tone wasn’t even like bad or anything it was just normal. and i’m finding out she talks abt me to her friends her friend’s daughter told me that my aunt thinks im lazy and that im stupid bc of a situation that happened like months ago when i asked a guy for his number for shits and giggles 😭😭 but i literally do everything for my aunt like if she tells me to do this task i literally fucking do it idk why she keeps complaining abt how miserable i am (maybe she does idk) but what else do u want from me ??? 😭✌️ i’m sorry i don’t meet ur expectations of being the housemaid , im literally a teenager balancing schoolwork and my mental health. i had times where i tried communicating her but she wasn’t even getting my point bro she’s not even trying to understand where im coming from i felt so misunderstood.

Its almost 3am as I write this. Anyone who'd like to read and share their thoughts is welcome.

I'm 25, live with mom still, along with my fiancé of 4 years. Our relationship is great.

About a year ago, my mom made the decision to move to the middle of nowhere in the South, very small town. I recognize how good I have it, being able to live at home still, while others have children and their own homes to struggle with. Before the move, I was working on using my privileged situation to, in ways I could afford, try and set myself up for success later in life, taking a CPC (medical coding/billing) class, and building my savings account.

But then we had to move, and she chose here. It's not my place to dictate her decisions, I'm just grateful for the roof over my head. This did interrupt any progress id made on trying to escape food/retail and potentially being able to afford to move out on my own, but it's not like we were being kicked out.

A big part of my problem is this area. For reference, at the last job I was able to find, one of my co workers, in our first conversation, managed to cram in 4 entire Hard Rs, like he was going for a record racial slur to sentence ratio. I keep to myself mostly, and the only conversation topic this guy could think of any time we worked together was about how much he disliked black people. No, not once did I bring it up, or even initiate a conversation with the guy.

I was fired from this job, because I was told I needed to do work without clocking in, said I would be happy to if I would be compensated for my time, and was told "we can just part ways if it's such a big deal."

I'm not interested in the culture war BS, it's not up for debate that a lot of the people here are disgusting and dangerous, regardless of who they voted for. Checking the sex offender registry for the area, it's massive relative to the size of the population, mostly crimes against minors, and ive recognized a lot of these people as customers.

I dont personally care if someone is religious, but I'm in a place where not attending church is taboo and ive legitimately been pressed by customers on being not from here, and not recognized from church. They care that I'm different from them.

After being fired and contacting labor boards and being told there's nothing they can do for me, I can't find another job. There just. Aren't any. It's so bizarre. Fast food places, Walmart, nobody is getting back to me. I doubt its my resume since I had no problem finding jobs before moving here, I have several years' experience in management for both food service and retail. I've gotten a consultation to help rewrite my resume anyway, alternate between both versions, and still, nothing.

My fiancé luckily found a place where the staff aren't crazy and dangerous, and is also tired and miserable all the time because the customers, when they aren't doing sexual harassment, do regular harassment instead.

I've only been unemployed for about a month and a half, and before that I was the one working while my fiancé couldn't find anything for several months. We're lucky that my little labor dispute happened right as a job was found. But I say this to mean there doesn't seem to be any resentment towards me being unemployed, I make sure to do things around the house and keep communication open. Again, our relationship is great.

I don't know what to do. Fiancé is miserable, I'm miserable, mom's miserable, we're all broke and barely drifting by, I had to spend the entirety of my savings account so my mom could afford oil for the upcoming winter (great timing to move into a house with oil heating). My life has fully started over from scratch except now I'm in the middle of nowhere with no prospect of progressing in life because I can't afford any of the avenues to do so, surrounded by people who don't want me here. And this just. Happened to me. I thought i was doing a pretty good job for a little while there, making progress, finally building a savings account, and now it's all gone and I'm a 25 year old teenager. I havent slept in days, my mind is constantly full of this dread that everything is in shambles, but nothing bad has actually happened. Fiancé makes just enough to pay rent and groceries, but its not like we're building our savings anymore. I still have internet, a roof, a phone, a family. I'm objectively still in a "life is easy" position.

And it feels like I'm wasting away. I don't know what to do

I'm 20, on the spectrum, and I struggle badly with change and sentimental things.
I currently live in my childhood home with my parents, and they have no plans of moving, and I have no plans of moving out yet because I currently do not have a job or the finance to be able to, I also do not currently go to school.

We live in a 3 bedroom house, and there is a basement but no stairs indoors connecting it, but it's a full on separate apartment with a kitchen, bathroom, and rooms.
My parents never planned to have more than two children, so when the third kid was born a few years ago, he didn't have his own space and still does not. All his toys are in the living room, and he shares a room with my parents (he's still really young) but he'd growing up and will need his own room pretty soon. We've pretty much outgrown this house but they don't have the kind of money or privilege to move to a new house.

To give my brother a room, we came to the agreement that I could move my space to the basement, and my sister could take my room, my brother could take hers. I'd move down to basically another apartment with a kitchen and bathroom, and have much more privacy than I do now. The only downside currently is that I don't have a job, so that means i don't have groceries and whatnot, and would have to go upstairs most of the time for things like that until I'm able to be much more independent.
Ideally, it's a great idea and opportunity for any young adult in this economy... And it gives me the space and independence that I need as well. But I was not prepared to move down there by the end of this year.

This was a recent topic brought up, the idea of me moving down there, I thought it would be done next year or after I got a job (hopefully by december). Not so quickly. Not before the winter. I thought I'd have time to prepare myself.

I've had the same room since I was 5, I've grown up in this room, I spend most of my time here, I've made it my home, it's my sanctuary. Basically, I have a huge emotional attachment to this room that I hadn't realized I had until now.

I always knew one day I'd have to move out, I look forward to that day as living with my family hasn't been the healthiest for me mentally. But I never thought about the fact that I might no longer have my childhood room to come back to... I know it's childish and unrealistic, but I kind of always thought this room, my room, would always be here if I were to move out or go to college (unless my parents decided to move.) But obviously that's not the case, and it's only hitting me now.

So even though I'm not fully moving out yet, I'm just moving to the basement, I feel really sad and conflicted about the idea that this will no longer be MY room. I will never be able to come back to this room, it will just be the basement that I come back to.
And I know this all sounds probably super silly and dumb, and maybe even privileged to some people, but I struggle with change, permanent change, and this is a REALLY big permanent change for me.
It took me a minute to feel better after remodeling my room a few years ago, I sobbed my eyes out when I had to take all my posters down that I had been putting up over the years, and I fear this is going to feel the same but worse since I'm moving out of it this time.
I get really sentimental about things, stupid things, I've had depression for a very long time, so that only makes it worse as to why I get so sentimental and cling to things like this.

I don't know why this small change is so hard for me, it makes me anxious and really sad. It worries me because how could I ever grow if I continue to cling onto nostalgia and comfort like this? What will happen when I eventually fully move out the house?

I'm very grateful that my parents aren't the type to have kicked me out by now, but I wonder how people who have been kicked out of their childhood homes, how did they cope with that? I know it's not the same exact situation, but how does one cope with the fact that their childhood room no longer exists? How do I learn to get over this and be okay with change when it comes to new places?

I'm scared, sad, I feel rushed and overwhelmed to make such a big change. I could really use some advice, sorry if what I wrote makes little sense.

My IRL friend circle has never been fantastic, but I was holding on to this friend because I cared for them and I think it's good to have at least one friend at school. We used to be a bit closer, but then they started mellowing out, and with time my friend group fell apart because another IRL friend switched schools without telling me and told this other friend they think I'm annoying. I ended up reconciling with that friend.

The friend that dumped me today is someone I've been friends with for 4 years and I thought we were pretty good friends. Sure, we wouldn't hang out outside of school, but sometimes we would. Sure, they're hanging out with people who hurt me, but that doesn't mean they support their actions and I shouldn't dictate who they can be friends with. But even a month ago, everything was fine. We were hanging out like normal, and in the past few weeks, they were a lot colder and I was beating myself up over being sad about them being colder. I shouldn't be sad about them being colder, maybe it's just their personality. I shouldn't expect too much from them.

Today I got a dreadful text.

For context, I have very bad abandonment issues and also PTSD related to something similar, which really only made it worse.

They wrote that they're sure I've noticed they've been colder, and apologized if that hurt me. They wrote that we started distancing and that we have different interests now (we never had the same interests), said it's not my fault, that I'm a wonderful person... And wrote that they don't wanna lie to me anymore, and that they "need more time and space for other friends." That they're never going to forget me, and they appreciate all that was good in our friendship.

Wow. Okay. Not even mentioning the fact their text feels awfully AI-generated... more time and space for other friends? What? What time was I even taking up? Again, we never hung out, we barely even chatted while at school... Seriously?

I feel so panicked and horrible and I'm trying not to cry. I had no idea what to even respond to a text like that and said "oh, alright, hope you have a nice weekend."

How can I ever trust people anymore? How do I even know it's not my fault? It feels like I keep getting abandoned by friends and I have no idea who's not gonna abandon me anymore... I just need some help please.

Hi guys,

I got a letter after donating blood saying that I tested positive for something called HTLV. I'd never heard of it before, but after looking it up I started to get really relieved and scared all at once because it explains a lot of symptoms I've had in the past that were never really figured out or resolved, but at the same time it carries a risk of things like leukemia and neurological issues.

I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac, so I try not to bother my doctor too much when I notice strange symptoms popping up. I know that at 24 I am probably a very healthy person. But a year ago I started having issues like incontinence, paranoia, motor tics, and fatigue for no clear reason. After running tests, nothing was found except for spinal degeneration and a CT scan that showed lots of tiny masses in my chest. My doctor told me to keep an eye on things and let her know if anything changes.

I tried to ignore everything and manage it the best I could, but now this letter and the prospect of actually having a serious condition has me pretty concerned. I reported it to my doctor via an online message but haven't heard back yet. I know that worrying about it won't change anything, but I'm really uncomfortable with not knowing what's going to happen next.

I'm honestly not sure why I'm even writing all this out, I guess I would just appreciate some reassurance that I'm doing the right thing and that I'm going to be okay.

To preface, yes, I do (23M) go to the gym, because I know someone’s gonna mention it. I’ve been consistent for 6 weeks now (after being inconsistent for a few years) and steadily lost weight in more recent time. But, I’ve been feeling poorly about my body compared to other men. I’m 5’8, I have gyno, I have a short torso and long legs, my lower body carries a lot of fat, my calves are small because of high insertions, I have bunions, and, more. My body looks weird.

I know getting in shape (and surgery for the gyno) can help with some of these, but not all, which I was pretty concerned about. Right now, I wear sweaters and jeans exclusively in public (just to still look weird), and I’d honestly rather not be in public in general. Every time I’m out, I eventually start fixating on my body in comparison to other men. Same goes for social media. Just yesterday, I was feeling unmanly because of the way my face looked and how I was short compared to other men I saw. At that point, I’d rather just not bother. I tend not to enjoy socializing with people for similar reasoning too, and honestly think that those aspects of my life might be bottlenecked by my body. If I can’t figure it out getting jacked, I don’t know how I would. I don’t plan on dating until I get jacked enough either. So, I was wondering if you all had any advice about what to do (ideally, beyond working out since I already do that).

Warning: Talks of car accident involving alcohol

I wanna preface this by saying that I have called resources from my work to set me up with a therapist, I’m just waiting for them to find someone.

Growing up, my brother was in and out of trouble. Him and his wife would get into it and it involved both of their kids sometimes (they both have 2 kids from previous marriages) At some point his wifes kids were placed with my parents and his with their bio mom. I saw the girls as annoying little sisters, the oldest would go into my room and constantly ask me to hang out or do makeup. Sometimes we would. I figured one day, I’d be mature enough to be the aunt she needed and she’d be mature enough to listen.

But unfortunately she passed away about a month ago. Car accident. When I heard, I couldn’t believe it. I kept thinking “If only she had called me for a ride, she’d be okay. Doesn’t she know that I’d pick up day or night if she needed a ride because she was drinking?”

I know it’s not my fault but when I went to my moms house for a hug, to cry, something she had done a million times, she said “I wouldn’t be surprised if she was drinking.” She didn’t know that she had but to hear her tone. No comfort. The thing that had 100% cured me any time I cried the last few years, and nothing. I couldn’t stop feeling.

And then this week, a friend that was like a grandpa to me passed. The sweetest guy you could meet, with a booming laugh, and quick to a punchline. I can’t see work the same anymore. I won’t be able to hear him from clear across the workplace anymore.

I don’t feel that I can go to my mom for grief. We had a rocky relationship when I was a teen. I would cry and if I told her why, she’d get upset and say she wasn’t doing anything while raising her voice. If I told her nothing she would yell at me until I told her and the cycle continued. When I became an adult, it seemed like we were both learning to communicate with each other. It seems clear now that she struggles with her emotions as I do. With identifying, connecting and communicating.

I like to think that I have tried to learn, but I feel so detached. Like I know what I’m feeling but there’s no way to process it. Like it is what it is. I can feel that way about anything and be fine but this? I can’t.

TLDR: Fuck whatever this grief process is.

Hi, I am rn at my last year of A levels(A2 levels), so back when I was in my O levels I had gf, but eventually my father found out and forced us to break up, but from that point onwards, its been more then 1 year and 1 month since then but I am an adult, and I was grounded, my phone was taken(which my dad did not even buy me himself) and I had clinical depression for months after my breakup, but in the last 1 year 1 month I have only gone out with my friends 3 times, yes 3 times, I am adult male who just because he dependent on his parents for his education cannot move out.

And even those 3 times he tracked my location, my father is paranoid men who is fucking headache

Further back then, I was way more open expressive and could talk to people well, now I am just socially drained, I stutter much more then before when people talk to me, I avoid talking to strangers, I feel that my father's narcisstic controlling behaviour has made me into anti social depressed and dude and then he asks why are you so anti social dude you kept me in a cage,

and in my entire life, of 20 years I have only gone out with friends only a dozen times

Yep in 20 years I have only gone out with my friends 12 fucking times, ain't that amazing?

Not sure what to flair this, sry if inaccurate

I'd consider myself a practicing Christian, but I recently have been wanting to join an RCIA program to officially be considered Catholic. I reached out to the leader of the program at a beautiful local basilica, he responded kindly and quickly inviting me to join.

I didn't do this with any paranoia, mostly just curiosity as to what he looks like but I searched up the priests name and he had accusations (not proven guilty) of sexual assault towards an underage boy. Reading the story just makes me feel so off, and I guess I can't say he did it obviously but it still makes me feel quite concerned. There were many articles about it.

I don't really know how to feel! I guess the easy answer is just to contact another church, but this one is so beautiful, I thought the service was great and it's very easily accessible. What would you advise?

Hi, looking for comfort/advice

Me and this guy were best friends for a really long time, like we’ve known each other for eight years and have been best friends for over half of that I feel like. Anyways, recently I’ve really noticed that I’m not as important in his life as he is in mine. He’s been in a band for awhile, and has really spent a lot more time around one of our mutual friends in the band than with me. I’m kinda just finally accepting now that I’m not really his best friend anymore. It’s something we’ve talked about and he was always assuring me that I was still his best friend, but he only gave the reason as “seniority” and if he said it in front of other people and someone seemed sad about it he’d switch up and say that everyone is his best friend or something like that. It’s been really obvious recently I guess. I’m just not his go-to anymore, and I feel like I haven’t been for awhile now.

I know this is a normal part of life and that there isn’t much (if anything) I can do, people move on and change and all that. I’m just having a really hard time with it emotionally. I struggle with change a lot, especially when I feel abandoned. He was and still is so so important to me and it feels soul crushing that I’m not that to him anymore, if I ever was. I just feel very alone. Is there anything I can do to make this feel easier, or things that helped others go through it and feel not as miserable?

Idk
I just turned 18 a couple months ago I graduated Hs at 17

Since I graduated high school it kinda seems my life has fallen apart a bit (it hasn’t really I’m probably being dramatic)
I moved to a completely new state (not my choice)
Had to unenroll from a 4 year college I was planning on going and had committed to
And then enroll in community community college
After that I faced the possibility of not being able to go to even community college because of nonresident tuition :( I got it sorted out and even got a scholarship that gives me a full ride yay! (It even transfers over to all the 4 years around me aswell which is even nicer)

We’ll eventually after that got settled I even just recently got hired at a part time job that actually has a scholarship program for students(can’t apply yet since I’m new but I will be once I am able to)

I still don’t know how to drive or really much of anything else apart from that. I don’t have a social life either. So after school ( which I only go to twice a week$ and work I’m just existing with no one to really hang with or have fun with except for my cousins and family on weekends (and my dog )

It’s starting to really hit me that I have to figure my little adult butt NOW , I don’t even know what maior I want it’s been quite a problem so much in fact that me and my friends during my senior year of highscho kept making jokes about how ill end up picking a really random major (like library science ) , and the I will eventually have to figure out how to get internships and actually graduate college and then figure out how to move out it’s just wow these things feel so big and momentous I don’t think I can actually freaking handle it and I think it’s starting to affect me a little bit, a lot of people my age are much more figured out and have more life experience than me heck even people younger than me are more independent and I hear so many stories of people completely moving out at my age and never coming home like goodness gracious I don’t feel capable

I’m a extremely awkward and quiet and nervous person I’m a homebody I semi enjoy staying home over going places sometimes I like having routines and I am completely okay with going out and socializing and of course having fun with people I am comfortable with I don’t completely avoid the outside world ,

I feel like my fear of becoming a actual adult and getting handed more responsibilities that I feel like I am not at all ready or capable are is affecting me slightly mentally, every accomplishment I somehow do I struggle to feel excited about because it’s something that should have done earlier or something that I should have done already, I’m also struggling to enjoy myself because it kinda feels like when I do something I enjoy and have fun I get hit by crushing anxiety about what’s next (like wow I’m having fun now but what about later???)

I’m doing great in college and I actually just signed up for my second semester with early registration (I still need to take a placement math test because I didn’t do any math classes this semester but I already have my placement test scheduled ) I have a great gpa I just wish I was more figured out in a way or that I will at least start feeling comfortable again

I feel uncomfy 24/7 and super Antsy im tired of feeling this way I want to be as comfortable with myself and my life like how I was before I graduated

So I'm 26F living in the UK, away from home, getting a colonoscopy done because the doctors had some concerns... The procedure is tomorrow morning and I've been feeling fucking scared the past few days, I've stayed home alone as I live by myself and just been running to the toilet as expected. I don't feel emotionally safe with my mum or my brother (they know I'm getting this done) but no one's really checked up on me...

I told my boyfriend and he knew about this, he has been supportive up until now, but can't be here today because he's got childcare duties he cannot get out of ! I changed the dates of my colonoscopy thinking these are the days he's usually free and able to support me but he's running around, and he's exhausted. He's the only one I feel emotionally safe with and I don't want to be around anybody except him...

I've been home since Wednesday and he came to surprise me on that day, for a quick hug but yesterday and today he's really busy and I'm really truly annoyed that I can't see him until Sunday now... Oh and I did also get my period on top of this !

Am I making a big deal by being annoyed at him for this because the procedure seems so scary to me ???

I am taking my brother to the hospital tomorrow evening though I'd rather go alone because my brother is just not someone I can emotionally rely on, I have to micro manage him and tell him everything that needs to be done !

I just wanted someone to be here to look after me these few days and I feel sooo alone...

I'm constantly angry and my boyfriend just keeps saying that I'll get through it and it sucks that everything came up this weekend and he's unable to get out of stuff, he thinks it's not a big deal and I'll be okay this time tomorrow but I feel really terrible at the moment... I feel alone, I feel uncared for and I feel like people only care for me at their own time not when I need them... It doesn't feel right

someone please help me put this into perspective I'm going crazy

I live in Colorado.

I 21(F), live currently with my parents and i am moving out soon to a whole different country because i have mentally and emotionally torturing parents. They’ve driven me to such an extent where I have tried to harm myself multiple times. Okay so anyways, to get away from them i made the decision of moving away in the name of studies, but I met my boyfriend, who is the best thing that has ever happened to me and leaving him is the hardest thing ive ever had to do. I’m dreading the fact that in a couple of days i wont be able to see him for a very long time. As much as i want to stay here in the city for him, i cannot because my parents make it so hard for me. Constantly ruining my peace, self confidence and what not, i made this decision when i was 14 because that is when i realised I cannot live with them. Even though i am an adult i am not really allowed to go out and whenever i do, i am called disgusting names.
I don’t know what to expect doing long distance, but one thing I know for sure is that he will support my decisions no matter what and be my biggest cheerleader.
I need advice on how i can cope up with everything mentally because even though i am leaving soon, my parents are treating me worse than ever and definitely not making me regret my decision of moving out, but at the same time i am finding it so hard to move away from that one person that is making life easy for me.

I've been gone from my father's house, the house where I've lived my entire life, for two months now. It was after a huge fight that finally made me realize he was emotionally abusive, manipulative, controlling, and the primary reason I was always scared and anxious and unable to sleep at home. I've been with my mom and that's been great, but she lives two streets away and every time I go the supermarket I almost get a panic attack thinking about running into him.

I'd been doing much better in life, finally getting over my severe social anxiety and being able to go to stores on my own and even getting a part-time job, something I wouldn't have thought possible last year. I was also starting to get desperate to get out of the house, starting a countdown to my 18th birthday as I'm still 17. I just felt so trapped in that house.

When I was 15-16, and actually my whole life, my father had money problems. I wanted to help him so bad, so I would ask my grandmother for money (for "candy" or other stuff, I wasn't allowed to say it was for him) and give that to him. I did it gladly, because I loved him. When I started earning my own money he'd lend mine. He still doesn't have a job. I felt guilty about it.

He also took money off of my account this month, despite us having not talked for three weeks ever since a fight at my mom's house that led me to call the emergency line in terror. I never told anyone, but I was pissed. Partly because I have lost €360,- because he refused to pay me back for the gym membership he promised to pay for because I didn't even really want it but he wanted a gym buddy.

He got our child allowance from the government beginning of this month, which together is €1205,41. He also got mine even though I don't live there anymore. With only 3 people in the house now instead of 4, he should have had a lot. Except he bought weed and a new bike for himself and wasn't able to pay for gas and electrics. So my siblings are now with my mom. But my mom also doesn't have work and no money because he gets all the money and doesn't give her any of it. And I'm so fucking pissed at him. For some of the things he did I will never forgive him.

He hasn't apologized for any of it either. But, much like the trauma bond I had with my brother who sexually abused me, I feel guilty for leaving and for not speaking to him. I want to my mom to open a bank account for me so he can't access my money anymore, but then I'll feel guilty for not helping him when he has no money.

But I'm so angry. But I'm so upset. But I'm feeling so guilty. It's a cycle that's making me exhausted. And the lady that's supposed to help our family, and my father and I with this, is just... not great. If I tell her I feel guilty she'll just say she "understands". As if it's really my fault. She said it was sad for my father to see me taking my stuff out of the house, but didn't comment on how sad it was for me to have to take my stuff out of my childhood bedroom. My home for 17 years. My father told her he didn't like to see my bookshelf get more and more empty, but then said he didn't know my fan had been on since I left because he hadn't been in my room. And he's lied about so much before, too. He lied about my mom being pregnant with some other guy's baby, about her drinking all night when she was actually out working 12 hours a day, and much more. And I'm only now finding out about all of that.

And things from his teens, too. He stalked his ex-girlfriend and controlled her, too. He was 17 when he slept with a 13-year-old. So much shit that makes me horrified.

The last bit: I do still feel guilty. He loved me so much. He tattooed my name on his neck, was so proud of me, his first child, and always said our bond was the best. And it was. But he wasn't the best dad. Even now, he refuses to admit he has issues with aggression, and says he doesn't need help. All I asked of him in return of me coming home (someday)? Get help. He has refused.