Well it's not worded that way, but it's basically what that psychiatrist would do. When I saw his assistant I explained that I knew I wasn't suicidal but felt more like things would be better for everyone if I didn't exist at all in the first place.
I saw myself how Gregory was in Metamorphosis, he felt like he was a burden because of a condition he couldn't control affecting his ability to work and provide for his family. Much like him, I wasn't able to mask things anymore and was becoming a liability who needed more support, because I kept getting fired from places over obvious symptoms of mental illness. Sympathy for filing lawsuits over this blatant discrimination had also faded nearly instantly after the first time it happened, however my doctor want me to get an adult diagnosis before trying any ADHD medication, even though Human Rights considered my childhood diagnosis as a valid incurable life-long condition.
When I finally saw the psychiatrist he just sat there looking at me, who was quite disheveled because I had pretty much a mental breakdown before I could even get to see him, try to figure out if anything was wrong with me. He completely dismissed anything his assistant said about what he observed and that I needed help. He just took out the DSM5 booklet he had looked at it briefly, before trying to explain that I couldn't have ADHD because I graduated high-school with Honours, and had been attending college at the time (I was between years) and was getting top grades for what was essentially high-level university classes because of the program I chose. He was convinced a person with ADHD, especially a woman, couldn't have graduated high-school if they had that condition.
I was quite mad, because on all of the forms I signed I put down I was Non-binary, which is valid in Canada as an option (still have to identify your biological sex in hospitals so they know what physical & hormonal care you needed). So, he misgendered me intentionally and was misogynistic to boot. Secondly he completely was dismissing the person who actually was observing my symptoms and listened to what I had to say about my mental well-being. Just because I'm classified as an extremely intelligent person (my IQ was also measured as being 136, which basically just meant I was 36% faster at understanding concepts than an average person), doesn't mean I couldn't suffer from mental illness, especially one that's highly hereditary and frequently a problem in my family... the only people who didn't complete high-school in my mother's side also has level 3 Autism.
So, yeah he basically was being fired for not doing his job properly and his poor assistant apologized on his behalf, when I left that day.
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u/dumn_and_dunmer Aug 01 '26
A medical professional told me I couldn't be autistic because I was very coherent.