Airport Security (OC)

[u/aostlund27]

[u/mariahmce]

I got flagged for a random TSA pat down once and the agent asked me if I had any metal in my body. I replied “I have an IUD”. The agent freaks out and starts flagging other agents over. She musters all her calm and says “Please repeat that you have an IED on you” to which I had to say “no, an IUD, a copper intrauterine device, for birth control”. She didn’t know what an IUD was and I had to explain it to her. I bet she’ll remember now!

[u/Zazulio → u/mariahmce]

Her mistaking an IUD as an IED is funny, but her believing a planned suicide bomber will casually admit they have an IED during screening is worth a giggle or two as well

[u/brainzilla420 → u/Zazulio]

"Shoot, i meant to say no that question. Carrying this bomb around is making me nervous. Can i have a do over?"

[u/LividTacos → u/brainzilla420]

"Here, hold the dead man switch, my hand is tired."

[u/Azmoten → u/LividTacos]

“Think fast!” throws it at them

[u/IshaNuva → u/Azmoten]

A slimy trail winds its way down the officer's forehead

"Aw balls, wrong one again, boy am I scatterbrained today"

[u/Paulthefith → u/LividTacos]

Oh man I am really beefing this terror thing, mind if I take another shot at it?

[u/CeciliaStarfish → u/brainzilla420]

"The bomb wasn't even meant for the plane! I was gonna drive but then plans changed at the last minute and I forgot to repack... 😭"

[u/Vandergrif → u/brainzilla420]

"Sir I have a snuke up my snizz. Damn it that wasn't any better..."

[u/Friendly_Gazelle7843 → u/brainzilla420]

Tbh that COULD happen if somebody got blackmailed into it