r/comics • u/DaveKellett SHELDON • 4d ago

OC Remember that drink I invented yesterday? (oc)

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COME for the acrid taste, but STAY for the lack of caffeine!

14.1k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/SnooSuggestions9294 4d ago

Believe it or not ppl do like the taste of coffee

398

u/ProfessionalAd6530 4d ago

Not only that, but "decaf" does have caffeine in it. It's just a lower dose.

It's enough to wake me up without turning me into a raging asshole.

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u/Kitt3n_Mitt3nz 4d ago

It's a much lower dose. Not sure where you are, but in the US decaf has to be at least 97% caffeine-free. If that's true for you as well, either you're highly sensitive or it's a placebo effect haha. I used to be a barista and we had to learn about caffeine safety.

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u/DeadInternetTheorist 4d ago

I used to be a barista and we had to learn about caffeine safety.

can you cut someone off like a bartender? if they're coming up to the counter with bloodshot eyes for their 12th cup in 2 hours do you get to be like "you don't have to go home but you can't tweak the fuck out here"?

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u/MrTheDoctors 4d ago

No but I have had to call an ambulance for somebody that collapsed after their 6th black eye cold brew for that day 😬 they never came back….

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u/Kitt3n_Mitt3nz 4d ago

There wasn't a hard rule about that, it was more of a "use good judgement" thing. There was a salesman for a nearby store that would get 8 shots of espresso each day he worked - one quad in the morning and another one in the afternoon.

However, if he started getting more than that, we probably would have said something. I personally felt weird about the two quads, but it was already a thing with him before I was hired.

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u/WyattHMB 1d ago

In college, a friend and I got really into contra dancing. We would stop at Starbucks, order eight shots of espresso, add cream and sugar, and drink it on the 45 min drive to the dance. We did this every week on Thursdays… It’s a miracle we didn’t die.

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u/grendus 4d ago

Hmm. Last study I saw said that regular coffee has about 60-90 mg of caffeine in an 8 oz cup, while decaff has about 5-15mg.

When I was having anxiety issues, I swapped in decaff and it was enough to avoid withdrawals. Or maybe it's just psychosomatic.

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u/Objectivespeculation 4d ago

caffeine is one of those drugs in pure powder form will kill you quick.

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u/Pinyaka 4d ago

This is a regulation that isn't (or wasn't) enforced at all. About 20 years ago some paper sent samples of regular and decaf coffee from various chains and found that decaf usually meant 10-30% of the regular caffeine content. I have no idea of this is still true and don't care.

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u/ProfessionalAd6530 4d ago

If you are not addicted to the 100-200 mg of caffeine to wake you up, then the low dose that's in decaf is sufficient.

It is sufficient enough to disrupt your sleep cycle if you drink it too late. Hell, the caffeine in chocolate is enough to affect you.

People underestimate the effects of this drug on their body.

It's not a gazebo.

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u/ilikepants712 4d ago

Unless someone is super sensitive to caffeine (which is a real thing and I'm not arguing that you aren't), I'd posit the fact that you'd be drinking a hot beverage in the morning, and you expect it to wake you up as the reason that it does (mostly a placebo effect). The amount of caffeine in decaf is roughly similar to a small square of dark chocolate, which is unnoticed by the majority of the population. Even so, if it works, it works!

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u/LearnCre-8LoveDe-b8 4d ago

Honestly, the amount is so low that even I- a someone super sensitive to caffeine- can safely drink it without going into Tachycardia. It also doesn't wake me up any, but that could be 'cause I've got narcolepsy; nothing wakes me up outside of heavy pharmaceutical intervention.

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u/john_ergine 4d ago

This might be regional. European practice commonly uses a maximum residual caffeine content of 0.1% by dry weight for decaffeinated roasted coffee. EU legislation sets a 0.3% limit for decaffeinated coffee extracts, including instant coffee. In the United States, the commonly cited industry standard is removal of at least 97% of the original caffeine.

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u/VerySuccor 3d ago

Sorry to hear about your raging asshole.