r/comics • SHELDON • 4d ago

OC Remember that drink I invented yesterday? (oc)

COME for the acrid taste, but STAY for the lack of caffeine!

14.1k Upvotes

749 comments sorted by

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u/SnooSuggestions9294 4d ago

Believe it or not ppl do like the taste of coffee

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u/ProfessionalAd6530 4d ago

Not only that, but "decaf" does have caffeine in it. It's just a lower dose.

It's enough to wake me up without turning me into a raging asshole.

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u/Kitt3n_Mitt3nz 4d ago

It's a much lower dose. Not sure where you are, but in the US decaf has to be at least 97% caffeine-free. If that's true for you as well, either you're highly sensitive or it's a placebo effect haha. I used to be a barista and we had to learn about caffeine safety.

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u/DeadInternetTheorist 4d ago

I used to be a barista and we had to learn about caffeine safety.

can you cut someone off like a bartender? if they're coming up to the counter with bloodshot eyes for their 12th cup in 2 hours do you get to be like "you don't have to go home but you can't tweak the fuck out here"?

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u/MrTheDoctors 4d ago

No but I have had to call an ambulance for somebody that collapsed after their 6th black eye cold brew for that day 😬 they never came back….

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u/Kitt3n_Mitt3nz 4d ago

There wasn't a hard rule about that, it was more of a "use good judgement" thing. There was a salesman for a nearby store that would get 8 shots of espresso each day he worked - one quad in the morning and another one in the afternoon.

However, if he started getting more than that, we probably would have said something. I personally felt weird about the two quads, but it was already a thing with him before I was hired.

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u/grendus 4d ago

Hmm. Last study I saw said that regular coffee has about 60-90 mg of caffeine in an 8 oz cup, while decaff has about 5-15mg.

When I was having anxiety issues, I swapped in decaff and it was enough to avoid withdrawals. Or maybe it's just psychosomatic.

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u/ilikepants712 4d ago

Unless someone is super sensitive to caffeine (which is a real thing and I'm not arguing that you aren't), I'd posit the fact that you'd be drinking a hot beverage in the morning, and you expect it to wake you up as the reason that it does (mostly a placebo effect). The amount of caffeine in decaf is roughly similar to a small square of dark chocolate, which is unnoticed by the majority of the population. Even so, if it works, it works!

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u/LearnCre-8LoveDe-b8 4d ago

Honestly, the amount is so low that even I- a someone super sensitive to caffeine- can safely drink it without going into Tachycardia. It also doesn't wake me up any, but that could be 'cause I've got narcolepsy; nothing wakes me up outside of heavy pharmaceutical intervention.

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u/john_ergine 4d ago

This might be regional. European practice commonly uses a maximum residual caffeine content of 0.1% by dry weight for decaffeinated roasted coffee. EU legislation sets a 0.3% limit for decaffeinated coffee extracts, including instant coffee. In the United States, the commonly cited industry standard is removal of at least 97% of the original caffeine.

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u/Apprehensive_Hat_444 4d ago

Believe it or not, there are different qualities of coffee, and better coffee has a better taste lol

I used to think I hated coffee, beer, wine, steak, etc. Turns out my parents were just cheap. I like all those things, just not the cheapest available versions.

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u/Aeseld 4d ago

Wine is probably the most interesting example since cost and taste have only a tenuous connection. You can almost always find something cheap or mid-range that you enjoy.

Frankly all beer tastes bad to me though.

Coffee tastes fine if you cut the bitterness. Prep can help, I use cinnamon and a bit of salt. 

As for steak... Preparation and good cuts. Good prep can make up for a poor cut. 

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u/DrunkenAsparagus 4d ago

There's still a quality floor that I think most people will notice. I went to a wine tasting once where you drank a couple selections from several categories, and then after everyone ranked them, they told us the relative prices. 

I consistently chose the second cheapest option. That stuff was maybe a bit sweet, but not actively terrible. I think with most consumer goods, it's best to find your minimum quality threshold.

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u/Artemis96 4d ago

Yea the lowest quality wines are legit undrinkable for me. Talking in Italian prices: <10€, I'd rather drink water. 10-20€ you can find some good stuff. 20-35€ very good wines. >35€ I can hardly tell a difference, and I personally cannot justify the price.

Some of my friends have a more experienced taste and will sometimes go into the 50-60€ range

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u/DefinitelyNotMasterS 4d ago

you also get used to the bitterness and then it just tastes normal

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u/MrWeirdoFace 4d ago

One could say the same about life in general.

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u/Plasmelon 4d ago

It’s also about the type of coffee, the elevation it’s grown at, and the roast.

The higher elevation the better the flavor, and the lighter the roast, the less bitter. 

The lower the elevation and darker the roast, the more earthy it tastes.

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u/grendus 4d ago edited 4d ago

Children are also super sensitive to bitter tastes, while adults lose a lot of their bitter tastebuds. I expect that quite a few people who think they hate coffee first tried it as a child.

In nature, bitter flavors signify that a food is toxic, so this makes sense. When children are young and don't know what is safe to eat yet, they're extremely sensitive to foods that "taste" poisonous (most poisonous things don't want to be eaten, after all) and drawn towards foods that taste safe (sweet foods are most plant's way of saying "eat me... and then poop my seeds out somewhere else"). And coffee is intended to be toxic, caffeine is a powerful insecticide that does the same thing to humans that it does to the bugs it's intended to kill. We're just a few million times their size, so instead of causing our heart to explode... it just kind of makes us a bit more alert.

Once we reach adulthood and both know what is and isn't safe to eat and achieve our full poison resistance (humans are incredibly poison resistant), we're more capable of eating them. And this serves a secondary purpose for humans as a highly social species, because adults also lose some of our sweet taste buds. So when we're children, we gravitate towards sweet foods that are safe, and as adults we gravitate towards bitter foods that are safe for us to eat now while reserving the sweet foods for the children in the tribe.

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u/Plasmelon 4d ago

I worked in a fancy wine bar and found once you go higher than a certain price point (around $150 a bottle), wine will actually taste worse to the average person because it’s more acquired tastes.

We had one French one for $260 a bottle that was like a super tannic pinot noir. It tasted like electric leather with a hint of grape.

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u/ProfessionalAd6530 4d ago

I wound up giving my son the cheapest versions when he was growing up because he threw most of his dinner away and ate chicken nuggets after dinner.

I wasn't going to force him into an eating disorder, but I'm not wasting a nice steak on that.

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u/undertow521 4d ago

I always drink my coffee black.

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u/Sarcophilus 4d ago

I'd argue people judt don't like shitty coffee. Most arguments against coffee like to harsh, bitter or acidic are resolved by using good quality coffee and the correct technique.

Pouring boiling water over shitty bargain bin beans will result in shit coffee because dark roasts don't play well with boiling water. Either use light roast beans (usually specialty coffee) or water at 90° C

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u/rybathegreat 4d ago

I use dark espresso beans in my pour over and heat the water inbetween each pour to 100°C and I love the taste.

So even when not using "the right technique" the flavor can be liked.

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u/Sarcophilus 4d ago

Hey man, you do your coffee how you like it. If it works for you, more power to you.

But usually dark roasts with boiling water brings out harshness and bitterness in coffee which most people don't like. If that's not the case for you, enjoy your coffee :)

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u/ocelot08 4d ago

Correct... But I am also deeply unhappy... 

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u/SharrkBoy 4d ago

OP drinks soda for sure

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u/StrikeInteresting867 4d ago

When i drink coffe in the morning, it doesnt wake me up. When i drin coffe at midnight, it doesnt prevent me from falling asleep. I drink coffe for the taste, regardles of the time. Every coffe is decaf coffe.

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u/Aryore 4d ago

Do you have ADHD? Apparently for some people with ADHD coffee (and other stimulants) doesn’t work for them the same way

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u/StrikeInteresting867 4d ago

No, i do not. But i wonder why is it that way.

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u/Jackthwolf 4d ago

Basically ADHD brains are starved for dopamine, and so are constantly looking for sources of said dopamine. Which is why you get things like both unable to concentrate (unable to find dopamine, still looking), or hyperfocus (found source of dopamine, not letting go)

And so when you add a stimulant such as caffine into that mix, suddenly the brain has more stimulation, and so is less starved for dopamine.
Making it more "neurotypical", and so calmer.

This is basically how ADHD meds work too, and it's why folk with ADHD typically find themselves self medicating with caffeine, even without knowing.

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u/BoilingCold 4d ago

As someone with ADHD, who is on ADHD medication, I would also add that ADHD medication plus too much caffeine can lead to pronounced tachycardia (elevated heart rate). If I drink an espresso or two within a few hours of taking my meds then my heart rate can hit 120 sat down.

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u/Ixaire 4d ago

Is that a common side effect or your meds or just personal experience? Because tachycardia can be a side effect of excessive caffeine consumption, and some individuals are naturally more sensitive.

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u/ddr4memory 4d ago

They test your heart before giving you certain meds which are stimulants

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u/BoilingCold 4d ago

Both! I seem to be particularly susceptible to it, so I hugely restrict my caffeine intake. But I know other people with the same response, and it's something I was forewarned about when I was first prescribed the meds.

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u/BluezDBD 4d ago

It's just a natural effect of stimulants, it's why doctors recommend no more than 200mg of caffeeine daily.

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u/Comprehensive-Fail41 4d ago

ADHD is associated with a lower baseline Dopamine level (with dopamine being associated with the ability to focus and stay motivated, and low dopamine with "brain noise" as it seeks out new sources of dopamine). One of the effects of caffeine is boosting dopamine, which to a brain used to constant low dopamine can be calming

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u/Rubik_- 4d ago

Because of the receptors in the brain work different compare to a neurotypical person. I won't go into more detail because i forgot those

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u/captainfarthing 4d ago

Nope there are lots of people with ADHD who don't get the opposite effect from caffeine, it's not diagnostic of ADHD. We don't even know if it's more likely to happen to people with ADHD, it's all based on anecdotal evidence.

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u/Hundkexx 4d ago

I'm more inclined to believe that there's a lot of misdiagnosis and a lot of those people are in fact neurotypical. The reaction people with ADHD gets out of amphetamines etc just can't be faked.

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u/Burger_Destoyer 4d ago

This doesn’t tie directly to ADHD. It’s just a common lineup. People can be less receptive to caffeine while being “neurotypical”.

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u/BlackFranky 4d ago

Well, technically being less receptive to caffeine would make them neurodivergent but not in the way that term is used mostly. ^^

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u/Burger_Destoyer 4d ago

That’s why I put neurotypical in quotes.

There’s not really such a thing as neurotypical, everyone has something going on in their mind which pushes them away from the average.

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u/Neverlast0 4d ago

I remember reading a thing saying that if you're dehydrated enough, caffeine has the opposite effect.

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u/kulot09 4d ago

Maybe you’re a closet adhd. Also, why do you spell it coffe?

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u/curiouslyendearing 4d ago

You sure? Cause every time I've heard of someone who isn't affected by coffee it's cause ADHD...

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u/BeatsAndSkies 4d ago

ADHD can sometimes make Coffee put you to sleep, even. It does the opposite.

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u/bee_wings 4d ago

I have ADHD and coffee works like normal for me. So it can be the other way around too

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u/ddanonb 4d ago

Ive never felt the effects of coffee the rare times ive tried it.

I do have adhd tho lol

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u/The_Last_Spoonbender 4d ago

Yup ADHD and coffee to me is either severe hit or miss. There is no inbetween. Though tea is little different

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u/EstablishmentSad5998 4d ago

As someone who can drink coffee and immediately get a full nights sleep, if what you say is true it would explain a lot.

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u/LeebroyZehn 4d ago

The more you drink coffee the more you're resistant to it. Ironically the refreshing effect only affects people who rarely drink coffee, not us addicts who drink coffee everyday.

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u/SuzakuAqua 4d ago

Do you drink coffee every day? Maybe your body built up a tolerance for the stuff. For me, if I go a long time without drinking it, sometimes it helps make it work better the next time I drink it (the longer the break, the stronger the result)

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u/iberianwatersnake 4d ago

Same, loved the smell as a kid (my mediterranean parents big coffee drinkers) finally was allowed to, learned how to brew it in many ways. Still have it black. I do like bitterish tasting drinks (although there is such thing as bad coffee). Doesn't keep me awake either hahaha No adhd like some comments suggest, we have post dinner espresso regularly where i come from.

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u/TheGreyman787 4d ago

Same here. No effect whatsoever, used to down a cup of coffee before bed every day for years and it never influenced my sleep.

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u/Aryore 4d ago edited 4d ago

If your coffee is acrid it’s either poor quality or wasn’t brewed correctly

Coffee is always going to be a little bitter but it can be delicious

Edit: Guys I am not saying you’re not allowed to dislike coffee, I’m just saying it’s not supposed to be super bitter. Waffles, pancakes, etc.

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u/ShinakoX2 4d ago

I suspect that I'm more sensitive to bitter compounds than the average person, as coffee and beer tends to be way too bitter for me unless I go for the least bitter options (lighter roasts, low IBU, etc.)

But I recently tried some diner coffee, and while it wasn't super bitter, once I added some salt any bitterness was overshadowed by actual flavors and it was almost like I was drinking a dark chocolate hot cocoa. Is that what coffee tastes like to most people?

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u/windexfresh 4d ago

I visited my long distance best friend and one morning she was like "oh hey my husband is like realllly into coffee, want him to make you a cup? He's very proud of his brewing skills" and holy shit was he right to be proud, ive never had such an amazing cup of coffee in my life, and dude just whipped it up like it was nothing.

It was genuinely a completely different experience lmao I've been chasing that high ever since

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u/rockstar2012 4d ago

Time to get gooseneck kettle, a v60, a grinder, and some filters. The most important part of making good coffee is getting good and fresh beans and good water.

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u/acquaintedwithheight 4d ago

You should try a PTC taste test. Most people barely react or test anything, but to some of us it tastes like a orange peel wrapped in arugula dialed up by 10.

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u/Murky-Bus-2191 4d ago

Wrapped in arugula is such a hilarious metric as a non-bitter-sensitive person.

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u/ricedchai 4d ago

i might need to try that too... genuinely never occurred to me that black coffee might taste like something other than Bitter to other people

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u/irrelevanttointerest 4d ago

Consider also trying a well rated cold brew. Just like tea, coffee is very temperature specific and if you fuck it up even slightly it makes a worse cup. Cold brew takes way longer but there's next to no bitterness. I can drink it straight brewing at home, but if I forgot to start it the day before and I'm in a rush (and need to normal brew it) I need a teaspoon of sugar.

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u/SpaceMonkeyAttack 4d ago edited 4d ago

I've never acquired the taste for coffee because the smell is horrible and makes me mildly nauseous. So I don't really know what it tastes like, I couldn't bring myself to take a sip of something that smells like that.

I do know that I hate coffee flavoured things like coffee ice cream and tiramisu.

If you like coffee, enjoy your bean juice, I just don't get it.

I get my caffeine from Diet Coke, but I'm starting to think that's a problem and humans aren't meant to drink 2 or 3 cans of it a day, so I'm switching to pro plus for a while.

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u/Mordeczka123 4d ago

To each their own, I for one like the smell but not the taste (unless I put milk and a load of dugar into it so it stops being bitter)

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u/ArchWaverley 4d ago

Same, I find it interesting when people say they hate the smell but like the taste. I do like mochas sometimes, if they're more hot chocolate than coffee!

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u/Mordeczka123 4d ago

Same, I always get Mochas in Orlen (Gas station chain in Poland), plop in a bit of sugar & some more powdered chocolate and I basically got a drink from heavens

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u/Furyful_Fawful 4d ago

I like the smell of ground coffee but can't stand the taste even if it's drowned in the sweetest creamers and other ingredients known to mankind :( any smidgeon of coffee taste is anathema. Tea is miserable for me too so I have a terrible time getting caffeine healthily...

But I know it's not the bitterness because I love 95+% dark chocolate. Make it make sense

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u/Jack_Zicrosky_YT 4d ago

Huh, this is an interesting angle. I've always thought that coffee smelling great but tasting bad was a universal opinion. Not judging your tastes but I think that's interesting.

I like coffee flavored things and I'll drink heavily sugared and cream coffee occasionally but I don't like it on its own. I personally don't feel coffee helps me stay awake, and there are way better drinks out there anyways. (Like Sanpelegrino)

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u/crowkk 4d ago

> because the smell is horrible

What the fuck hahahah I salivate just from the ethereal concept of coffee. Hmmm coffee

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u/trowzerss 4d ago

I like the smell of coffee and don't mind the taste, but the reason I never acquired the taste for coffee is i'm super dooper sensitive to caffeine (and other stimulants too) and so the last time I drank a cafe coffee (because work was shouting) I got a migraine and had to go home from work.

I can drink tea, but I generally make it pretty weak, and can still mess myself up with it. Benefit is being able to still be going strong at a rave at 4.00am just with chocolate coated coffee beans lol. Downside is the other night I messed myself up badly by drinking a lovely flowery herbal tea that had ginseng in it at 7.00pm - i didn't think ginseng would fuck me up but it did and I got to sleep about 3.00am.

Apparently the stimulant sensitivity is genetic, as my mum has gone thru stages where she couldn't even eat chocolate, and my grandma once fully passed out after having a headache tablet that had caffeine included (she took 'have a bex and a lie down' literally lol)

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u/ricedchai 4d ago

i like the smell of coffee (but hate the taste if it's black) but this is exactly how i feel about alcohol so i get it

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u/rererexed 4d ago edited 4d ago

Love that Coffee drinkers always think non-drinkers don't like it because the Coffee they've tried is low quality lol

Maybe they just don't like it dude

EDIT: They're doing it right now. They can't help themselves.

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u/Gornarok 4d ago

You are responding to response to comic that insinuates that coffee always tastes terrible...

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u/Puzzled_Suspect460 4d ago edited 4d ago

As a journalism student I once wrote a report on third wave coffee. As someone who hates the taste of coffee and comes from a generation where it had been considered the most uncool drink this new trend was bizarre to me. I visited a bunch of coffee shops to interview baristas. Of course they wanted me to try their product and for the sake of the report I couldn't keep refusing. So they'd serve me some light brew that was 'not bitter at all' and I'd go 'ah yes this is indeed much better'. Nah, all of it tasted disgusting to me.

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u/Elite_AI 4d ago

They're right in this case because acridity is specifically something you can only find in bad coffee. 

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u/Laxativus 4d ago

It's the phrasing.
"I don't enjoy coffee" for me means the person does not like the taste of coffee.
"Coffee is shit / coffee tastes terrible / similar generalization" for me means the person does not know what they are talking about, quite possibly because they never had a good cup of coffee, mostly because I had the same thing for wine and other alcohol, because I though that if I did not like the alcoholic drinks we could afford as students it was because I did not like alcoholic beverages and not that we could not afford good beverages.

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u/Elite_AI 4d ago

This is it. "I don't like coffee because I don't like the flavour of coffee" is a completely sane thing to say. "I don't like coffee because it's acrid" means you've had burnt and cheap coffee because that is specifically what happens when you make burnt and cheap coffee. 

You might turn out to enjoy a well-made coffee. Or you might not, because maybe you also dislike the intrinsic flavour of coffee on top of this acridness you've experienced. But you don't know either way. I think some people don't like the presumption in that statement but it's right so what're you going to do about it? 

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u/gerusz 4d ago

TBF a lot of people's first exposure to "pure" coffee is either something from Starbucks which is overroasted crap that is meant to give a slightly coffe-y taste even through a gallon of milk and half a pint of flavoring syrups, and as a result is absolutely horrible to drink on its own without all those trimmings, or mid-shelf supermarket pre-ground coffee.

Sure, there are definitely people who just don't like coffee, and I can accept that. But at least give a fair shot to actually good or at least decent coffee once before deciding that it's not for you.

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u/fridge13 4d ago

Because it's true. My partner only drank coffee with allot of milk and usually only when out she was much more likely to drink tea. I got her to try black cold brew one time and it blew her mind because it tastes very different. Not bitter or astringent at all.

Most coffee sucks any chain coffee shop or resteraunt is basically guaranteed to be bad but that's what everyone thinks coffee tastes like they've never had a decently breed cup

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u/Laraso_ 4d ago

Do you not see how your argument works in the reverse as well?

That people who tried coffee and didn't like it always think that other people also don't like it and are just coping for the caffeine?

Maybe they just like it dude.

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u/Aryore 4d ago

Never said that I expect everyone to like it, just that it’s not supposed to be stupid bitter

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u/AJ4000HD 4d ago

I mean it also just depends on the person. I despise Coffee no matter what I do to it. I’ve even had the hot chocolate coffee fusion thing and that still tastes awful. I’ve even had coffee that is more milkshake than coffee. Still awful for my taste buds. So it is really person dependent.

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u/un_blob 4d ago

I am pretty sure that when it was invented, coffe was poor quality, brewed with what you got, not at the correct tempĂŠrature and not at the right dose

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u/snazztasticmatt 4d ago

Without doing research to refresh my memory, I believe og coffee was done Greek/Turkish style, which produces a really strong but fruity flavor profile

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u/namnaminumsen 4d ago

The bitterness and acidity of cheap drip coffee is the part I've been conditioned to like. Quality coffee rarely scratches that itch for me, and thus confuses me when I drink it.

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u/chasesan 4d ago

I've had like four cups of coffee in my life that I would consider good. with such a high miss ratio I think it's just better to just not drink it in the first place.

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u/risingscorpia 4d ago

This is a common issue, it has a simple solution - spending thousands on espresso gear and making it yourself

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u/TimelyFindsMelb 4d ago

Or like $50 on an aeropress

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u/Adamarr 4d ago

that just leaves more in the budget for a boutique grinder, kettle, etc :v

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u/Aggressive_Let2085 4d ago

Never understood how some people find it so confusing that people like decaf lol. I drink decaf only. I enjoy the taste of coffee but caffeine makes me anxious.

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u/SUMMATMAN 4d ago

Yeah I get irritated by the "no-one really likes coffee, beer, etc" idea. Presumably it's people who like stuff sweet and just can't imagine someone being otherwise?

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u/Aggressive_Let2085 4d ago

I drink bitter dark beers and love black coffee
so I feel the same as you lol. I even drink non alcoholic beer purely for the taste more often than not. I just enjoy it.

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u/Vegetable_Shirt_2352 4d ago

In general it annoys me when people act like there can be any level of objectivity to taste. If someone doesn't like things that I like, or likes something I hate, that would never illicit anything more than a shrug from me.

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u/aminervia 4d ago

Right? There are plenty of ways to get caffeine, why are these weirdos still drinking coffee if they don't like the taste?

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u/Aggressive_Let2085 4d ago

Right lol. No one is making them drink it

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u/stack413 4d ago

Yeah, same. Besides, I almost always drink milk coffee, so the finer points of the taste don't matter that much.

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u/captainfarthing 4d ago edited 4d ago

Same, and it messes with my ability to sleep without actually keeping me alert.

I have ADHD, my ADHD meds do everything I was told coffee does lol.

I used to drink a flask of coffee and 2 or 3 energy drinks a day til I quit because of the anxiety and shitty sleep quality, and realised the effect I got from them was purely having something hot & bitter or cold & fizzy to sip for stimulation. Decaf works great.

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u/whatevernamedontcare 4d ago

No to mention decaf still has caffeine.

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u/Bigbrain_goat 4d ago

Maybe the decaf I drank was of crappy quality, but it tastes and smells nothing like coffee, except for the slight bitterness.

It’s a shame, because I like the smell of coffee, but drinking it makes me jittery.

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u/External-Praline-451 4d ago

I had to give up caffeine too because it made me shaky and anxious. I found some delicious freshly ground decaf that I use in our fancy coffee machine with milk, it has a rich, deep and chocolatey flavour. I still "need" a cup in the morning straight away to feel vaguely awake, even though it's probably psychological, lol.

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u/randypeaches 4d ago

Those who drink decaf truly love the taste of coffee

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u/wallabyfloo 4d ago

And I'll stand by it !

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u/kamikazekaktus 4d ago

Decaffeinated coffee was invented in my hometown.

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u/imwearingyourpants 4d ago

"Nuclear launch detected" 

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u/Fluent_In_Influence 4d ago

I'm sorry

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u/minecraftzizou 4d ago

that made me actually laugh here is an updoot

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u/Megalesios 4d ago

I'm convinced that all the people saying that everyone thinks coffee tastes bad and are just drinking it for the caffeine have some sort of impairment in their theory of mind or empathy circuits or something.

Sometimes people just like stuff that you don't like. And no, it's not because of a trade-off or an addiction or an aquired taste. Why do you think decaf even sells at all?

Your taste is individual, not universal.

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u/gravygizzard 4d ago

But also I think it's an issue with people being unable to recognize their opinion is less valid due to limited experience. If someone says "well actually I've had coffee that tastes like x y z not just the bad coffee we've all tried that tastes like shit" the person is allowed to say no thanks I don't want to try it, but we're also all allowed to say that person has an invalid opinion based on limited experience.

They usually say "coffee tastes bad and you are faking your enjoyment of it"

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u/ConaireMor 4d ago

God I wish this was more understood. Opinions are not all created equal.

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u/Delamoor 4d ago

I gotta drink decaff.

I used to drink heaps of coffee, then I had to go onto ADHD meds. Now I can handle one caffeinated drink a day. But I miss coffee.

...so decaff it is, sadly...

(Though really, it's fine. Tastes the same!)

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u/Depeche_Schtroumpf 4d ago

This, but because of acid reflux.

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u/theleafcuter 3d ago

yoo fellow ADHD ex-coffee drinker 🤝 (well of caffeine anyway)

In the first week of starting a higher dosage of my meds (previous dosage did fuck all) I tried having 2 cups of regular coffee and ended up with heart palpitations on my way home from work lmao. Then the following weekend I tried having just 1 cup and ended up awake for 24 hours.

Sucks the most if I'm ever in the mood for something more fancy than instant coffee from home because literally no coffee shop I've ever been to has decaf options 😔

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u/Leftieswillrule 4d ago

People who don’t like coffee seem to think people who like coffee also don’t like coffee. It doesn’t taste bad to us lol

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u/hunterman25 4d ago edited 4d ago

yall don't like the taste of coffee? it's genuinely one of my favorite beverages, nothing beats a warm cup in the morning with a splash of cream. or a cortado. the smell and taste of it instantly puts me at ease. the caffeine is nice, but i don't mind a decaf either.

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u/wermmin 4d ago

100%. I drink decaff just to get at least a hint of the taste of the real thing when I am genuinely overcaffeinated lol. Coffee has so many flavor profiles though! Some people here, saying its dirt water... that's like saying tea is just leaf water! Lol.

To be fair I did start drinking coffee when I was 13 and I think it's a bit of an acquired taste, like a sushi or beer.

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u/skymallow 4d ago

We learned we had to keep the sashimi away from my sister's 3 year old cause she just stuffs it in her mouth by the handful

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u/hunterman25 4d ago

i see i have competition. i'd eat it by the handful too if i could afford it

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u/treelife365 4d ago

Amateur, I has my first cup of coffee when I was 7!

Of course, I didn't start drinking regularly until university.

That said, you should try tea... tea is a huge world compared to coffee!

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u/EishLekker 4d ago

I love the smell of coffee. But never ever enjoyed the taste.

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u/DrowAboveground 4d ago

This is exactly it. I know so many coffee snobs who love to say “death before decaf” like it’s proof of their love for coffee. Well I have to limit my caffeine intake and I love coffee so much I will absolutely drink decaf.

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u/novus_nl 4d ago

It's weird to me caffeine doesn't do anything to me. As dutch guy working in IT, coffee is there 24/7 so I drink more then I would like to admit.

Sometimes when I drink really a lot (7+ cups) I get a bit jittery, but I never feel more energized or more awake. After coffee I can also just go to sleep, doesn't change at all for me.

(*I do try to drink less coffee, because I can't believe its good to drink that much though.)

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u/AzKondor 4d ago

you may have ADHD

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u/Senior_Ability_4001 4d ago

Yeah, I was gonna say from a fellow ADHD. Or sleep apnea

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u/kfpswf 4d ago

Please elaborate. The one day I overdid caffeine, I too just felt jittery and had a hard time falling asleep that night. It was a few years later that I was diagnosed with ADHD. Is there any causal link between ADHD, caffeine, and jittery-ness.

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u/Diligent-Bowler-1898 4d ago

From what I understand people with ADHD are chronically understimulated, so a stimulant like coffee can calm you instead of making you hyperactive - I'm simplifying of course.

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u/TheW83 4d ago

Feeling jittery is normal when you have a lot of caffeine. ADHD tend to metabolize it slower or can be paradoxical and make you fall asleep rather than keep you awake (not in everyone with ADHD though).

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u/TryingToAppeal 4d ago

Sir/mam, respectfully... you have built up a tolerance for a drug which is what caffeine is classified as. It is a psychoactive stimulant and unless you are drinking some very very weak coffee, that is not a healthy quantity to be consuming. I believe 3-5 cups is the general recommended amount you should be limiting yourself to as overconsumption is bad for your heart amongst other things.
Like most other drugs, taken every day and especially over-consumed, you will find that your tolerance to it will build and you would need to consume more to feel its effects better.
The only people I know of that caffeine doesn't work as well for are people with ADHD and even then it still somewhat effects them. This I have personal experience with.

I highly recommend slowly dropping your daily consumption for your health, there will be withdrawal side effects if done too fast.

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u/novus_nl 4d ago

Could be, I don't know. it never affected me that much really. I do agree on the overconsumption though. And i might have some adhd signs so maybe a combination. thanks for the advice though

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u/Bananplyte 4d ago

Hello! Swedish guy working in IT with coffee available 24/7.

The reason caffeine might not have an effect on you could be that your brain has gotten wise to your addiction and adapted by changing how its Adenosine system works.

One of the ways your brain keeps track of how long you've been awake is through a substance called adenosine. The longer you're awake, the more adenosine builds up and the sleepier you tend to get. This is picked up by little things called receptors that basically tell your brain that you're getting a bit tired and maybe it's time to chill out.

The reason caffeine is fun is that it essentially just blocks these receptors so that the adenosine can't do its thing. You don't get a bunch of extra energy, you just feel less sleepy than you otherwise would.

Your brain does catch on pretty quickly though. If you're constantly clogging these receptors with caffeine, your brain starts getting wise to your scheme. This can involve changes in the adenosine system, including changes in how many receptors are available or how sensitive they are.

Now, if you suddenly stop drinking coffee, all that adenosine is back to doing its thing without caffeine getting in the way. This is why quitting often makes you feel like absolute garbage for a while. It usually gets better within a few days to about a week.

So if caffeine doesn't really do much for you, you might just have built up a pretty serious tolerance. Or you might just be built different.

You probably are just very addicted, like me, your most humble fellow IT caffeine-fiend.

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u/icedteaandtacos 4d ago

No some people are genuinely just built different.

I can drink 3+ cups of coffee a day everyday and never feels the caffeine and then the next week never have one cup and I feel the exact same. No withdrawals or anything.

Some people just really aren’t affected by caffeine. I know about half the time drink decaf because what’s the point of having meaningless caffeine.

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u/timbotheny26 4d ago edited 4d ago

No some people are genuinely just built different.

Some people just really aren’t affected by caffeine.

E.g. folks with ADHD.

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u/_TheBigBomb 4d ago

I've done cocaine for decades and doing a bump doesnt affect me at all. I guess im just immune to cocaine

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u/Ultimate_Cabbage5 4d ago

man got addicted, used to coffeine and said "Im build diffrent"

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u/Real_Life_Sushiroll 4d ago

I love the taste of coffee.

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u/Shoggnozzle 4d ago

Neat details, Coffee was cultivated in Etheopia and a folk tale does attribute it to a hearder who noticed his goats chewing the plant that would later be cultivated into coffee and becoming jumpy. Hense the skin tone, outfits, and funny stick.

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u/Stacks_of_Cats 4d ago

I never understood the ‘coffee tastes awful’ mentality.

Then I visited Canada and the US and uh… yeah the coffee was dreadful over there.

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u/mistertickles69 4d ago

Aight where you from? So I can hate and be jealous.

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u/Stacks_of_Cats 4d ago

Australia.

But honestly, coffee in India, Korea and Thailand all tasted better than what I had in North America.

Maybe it’s a regional taste thing.

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u/tomoe_mami_69 4d ago

Really depends on the cafe and city, plenty of shops in the US brewing espresso out of beans so light it tastes like orange juice (probably as an overreaction to Starbucks roasting everything into coal tar). Not saying that coffee here is as good as Australia but there is good coffee if you look around. There is unfortunately plenty of awful coffee.

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u/Stacks_of_Cats 4d ago

Yeah there’s probably good coffee somewhere, but it’s definitely not as common, or maybe requires a dedicated shop for it.

It was a bit of a shock not just having coffee served at just about every restaurant, cafe, bakery and etc. Can’t judge based on the fast food places like Starbucks though, as we have our bad ones here (coffee club tastes like it was poured out of a dirty unwiped asshole).

It was also a bad shock when you’d ask for coffee at the hotel restaurant and they’d bring you something poured out of the big warmer coffee pot thing.

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u/mistertickles69 4d ago

Coffee outta my aeropress and mokapot always tasted good, and I never use folgers or whatever other dreck brand. But I would love to try the beans and brewing outta other countries, and Turkey in particular.

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u/stockflethoverTDS 4d ago

Any international city in Asia, Australia, Scandinavia, central Europe right up to Kyiv excluding Bavaria lol, international Spanish speaking cities. There has to be at least one decent shop or roaster in a midsized American city.

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u/Vinxian 4d ago

"Person who doesn't like coffee confused other people have different experiences"

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u/TheOneEyedWolf 4d ago

Good coffee is delicious even without sugar or cream. Especially beans from Ethiopia.

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u/Plasmelon 4d ago

That’s because all other coffees besides Ethiopian are from a genetic bottleneck. Seeds were literally smuggled out by spies because they didn’t want anyone else to have it.

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u/0mplam 4d ago

I never understand people who dunk on decaff (good song name). It's just a drink but without the sleeping issues.

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u/Ok-Elk-3046 4d ago

Right, who is more unhappy: people who drink coffee because they like the taste, or people who drink coffee despite not liking the taste just to get the caffeine? If you don't like it you can just consume caffeine pills. Why would you torture yourself that way?

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u/pseudoportmanteau 4d ago

I'm one of those people who absolutely LOVES bitter coffee. I like it with no sugar whatsoever, no milk or cream. Nothing. Just the coffee brew in water. I do not typically ever drink decaf, however I am somewhat sensitive to caffeine in the sense that I frequently have insomnias as is, so drinking caffeine too late will definitely keep me up longer than I want to. So I could see myself drinking decaf late at night if I absolutely really wanted coffee in that moment for whatever reason.

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u/qwertyalguien 4d ago

IMHO it's great with something super sweet when you don't want to stay awake. It avoids the sweetness overload, and the sweet hides the bitterness of unsugared decaf for a few sips.

You could do the same with tea, but i find the extra bitterness of coffee to be a better match, and an expresso to be the right size.

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u/LateOnsetPuberty 4d ago

My mom had to quit caffeine. Finding her a decaf that was even close to an average decent grocery store bean was impossible.

The best we could find was “Swiss water method” and it just never hit that sweet spot for flavour.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

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u/KnightOfNothing 4d ago

ah if smell is the appeal that totally explains why i hate it so much. As someone who can't physically smell my sense of taste is dulled but not gone and coffee has always tasted like shit to me.

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u/MofuMofuMonhan 4d ago

One of the things that makes coffee a bitch is that there are MANY ways to make it wrong and result in a fluid that tastes like a grill grate, and not very many to make it taste good when consumed straight. To say nothing of the many kinds of coffee which all taste different and can also be unappealing to some. 

Of course, you might just not like coffee! And that's cool too.

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u/Realistic_Owl_8613 4d ago

What texture do you get from coffee? Straight black coffee, to me, is just hot water in terms of texture. Once stuff starts being added, sure, the texture changes.

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u/femboycbt 4d ago

Its smell is awsome but the taste of it is 80 percent as good as the smell

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u/SkabbPirate 4d ago

Similar for me just... coffee smells awful too. I can't go into the coffee aisle without covering my nose.

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u/BlueSparrowfox 4d ago

I highly suspect that I'm a "supertaster" because other flavors are also bad or overwhelming to me. I don't have the cilantro soap gene but to me it's overpowering in everything it's in so I don't like it. I also don't get why people say celery is crunchy water because to me it has an extremely strong herbal taste. I also dislike glass straws because those have their own taste that messes with drinks.

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u/aftermarrow 4d ago

can’t speak for coffee as i don’t drink it regardless, but i can only have decaf tea because caffeine messes with my medications 🤷

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u/moonlitkiwier 4d ago

Am i insane? I love the taste of coffee. I prefer flavored creamer, but black is a-okay with me.

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u/spyguy318 4d ago

“Is there a way to remove the part that tastes awful?”

Yes. Milk and sugar.

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u/catlandid 4d ago

I started making my coffee at home and learned that while boiling water is the norm, it actually scorches the coffee. About 10 degrees cooler (just before the kettle whistles) is the sweet spot, and half a teaspoon of salt fully eliminates any “bitter” taste.

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u/chiptunesoprano 4d ago

Yeah, turns out sprinkling cinnamon and sugar on your buttered toast tastes way better than biting into a raw cinnamon stick.

I love coffee but I could never drink it black.

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u/IWannaBeMade1 4d ago

Stop drinking badly made shit quality coffee

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u/ReadingGhoul 4d ago

The person that creates this comic doesn’t realize that we experience things differently

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u/GreatKingCodyGaming 4d ago

Why would you think people don't like the taste of coffee? It's the best part of the morning. I'm sitting here drinking my black coffee right now and enjoying it.

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u/dukeofnes 4d ago

I think it's fair to call it an acquired taste, though much easier to acquire than other things.

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u/Begthemeg 4d ago

Your average coffee is really bad coffee and so a lot of people think that is what coffee is.

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u/Stock-Side-6767 4d ago

But I like the bitter juice, sometimes not the no sleeping part though.

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u/Rezenbekk 4d ago

Coffee has great taste, just don't get it at your rundown gas station or from beans burned down to charcoal

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u/Golden-Owl 4d ago

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u/Ryg_ryg 4d ago

Technically, coffee is a seed from the coffee cherry, not a bean/legume. 

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u/FlameWhirlwind 4d ago

I'm saying this as someone who doesnt like coffee; good tasting coffee exists. People like bitter things and it's only the badly made or horrendously botched brands of coffee that suck

Also decaf removes bitterness because caffeine is part of what makes it bitter to begin with

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u/LionTheRichardheart 4d ago

I wonder what percentage of artists today drew influence from Calvin & Hobbes, because I recognize that mouth shape anywhere. I've used it too.

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u/Quirinus84 4d ago

There is actually a way to stop it from tasting awful and it's called JUST KEEP CHUGGING IT until your brain stops begging for you to stop.

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u/JasonVoorheesthe13th 4d ago

Good coffee roasts taste great black, the reason gas station Maxwell house taste like cigarette ashes is because that’s basically the quality of the beans.

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u/PTSD1983 4d ago

You haven't had good coffee

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u/RadioActiver 4d ago

I feel torn on coffee.. on one hand, i like coldbrew. You can make it from the cheapest coffee there is and it will taste good. It reduces the acidity and leaves the nutty flavour and pleasant aroma. But then, a friend of mine who is really into coffee gave me taste of really expensive "good" coffee and that tasted straight up as battery acid. They will say that it has "fruity" undertones... That I don't get at all.

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u/wholetyouinhere 4d ago

Why do so many people on the internet think they can tell you what something tastes like?

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u/Mildly_upset_bee 4d ago

Because its the artists opinion embedded into an internet comic

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u/Willundrskor 4d ago

Loving the Bill Watterson style man!

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u/Extension-Beat7276 4d ago

It was chewed in the Kaffa kingdom not drank

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u/DuctTape_OnFleek 4d ago

Forgive me for being off topic, but as soon as I saw this art style I had to click the post to see who made it because I had a feeling I knew who it was.

Really love all of your work, but Drive is something I keep saying I need to revisit.

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u/Anubis17_76 4d ago

Coffeee tastes amazing if u have good coffee, most coffee is like a black burned pizza. Cause that way its more shelf stable

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u/fatmanwithabeard 4d ago

I love coffee. And super dark chocolate.

But I can't drink it like i did in my 20s and 30s.

I used to think decaf was silly. But I remembered why I went to the French press over drip when my kid got a kurig with a pot the other day. I had 4 cups of coffee in 90 minutes. About as much as the press makes, but without the need to ration it.

It wasn't the worst I've over caffinated myself in the last decade, but it's close.

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u/3eeve 4d ago

But coffee tastes great…

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u/AncientOchre 4d ago

tf you mean it tastes bad? coffee is delicious, get a better coffee maker!

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u/Knyfe-Wrench 4d ago

Saying coffee tastes bad is like saying chocolate tastes bad. You know milk and sugar exist, right? Drinking black coffee is like eating 100% cacao, obviously not everyone is going to like that, but it's not the coffee's fault.

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u/itsmemarcot 4d ago

Actually, there is a way to remove the part that tastes awful. We call it Shoo-Gar.

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u/CyberRax 4d ago

...and for the extra adventurous, there's this thing called maaaalk that you can pour into it. Has the side effect of turning your cup from a Soul Eating Dark Void into Somemekindoflightbrown.

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u/eras 4d ago

Caffeine is part of the bitter taste, no? Given caffeine itself is bitter.

I've actually never knowingly drank decaf coffee, though, so I can't really tell. But it just so happens that I actually bought a bag of decaf beans, so soon I shall find out!

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u/Adarain 4d ago

It is, but it’s far from the only bitter compound in coffee, and especially darker roasts (i.e. the stuff you’ll usually get at a cafe unless it’s a speciality coffee shop) can be very bitter with or without caffeine.

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u/MrS0bek 4d ago

Welp I cannot get awake from coffee. Or tea. Or energy drinks. 3 cups of coffee and I can go straight to sleep. Which is bad because sometimes I am tired and want more energy, but nothing is helping....

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u/International_Top_25 4d ago

The face that guy makes at the end has me dying.

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u/kitsunecannon 4d ago

I like the taste of coffee 

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u/sisuburger 4d ago

Wow a comic with an actual punchline? In r/comics?

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u/PassiveChemistry 4d ago

I don't think I've ever drunk anything for the caffeine 

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u/veracity8_ 4d ago

People that don’t like decaf don’t actually like coffee

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u/Wise_Fox_4291 4d ago

People do like the taste of coffee, and there are some very simple ways to change the taste if undiluted coffee is too much for you. Literally just add some more water or milk.

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u/literally_tho_tbh 4d ago

*for the people who love coffee but have a small heart issue!