A friend of my parents used to work for the military when he was young (you had to back then). After he did his mandatory time there, he went to medical school and became a doctor.
Decades later, they tried to call him back for more service: When he told them that no, he’d already done his time, they sent back a letter explaining that the previous letter was not a request but an order.
He then replied to the effect of:
"Dear [military title],
as you have undoubtedly deduced from the header of my letters, I have completed a medical education since my service. If you require me to, I can shit out doctor’s notes until you leave me alone.
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u/Dry_Yam_8049 1d ago
Don’t forget to get a signed doctors note