I’m beyond depressed right now. I’ve been using dating apps for a few months. I’m paying to use them and have gotten my share of matches (probably around 75) since July. But I’ve sent thousands of likes so this rate is fucking awful. But I know this is expected. The issue is that of these 75 matches I’ve gotten 6 dates. One of them resulted in a hookup, then she moved across the country the next week. The other 5 were perfectly fine and nice dates that resulted in me getting ghosted of getting the “didn’t feel the spark” text. What am I doing wrong? I’m a 30 year old man and I just want to find love and someone that desires me. Why is it so hard? Why am I so unappealing? Depressed.

I know early on first date it’s different and I shouldn’t worry about this yet. I’ve only had one serious relationship that ended a while ago to compare . But my friend liked this girl they’ve been going out for 2 weeks . One night the girl was drunk when he arrived and she says she’s just come back from another date . My mate played it cool. I think he did the right thing. But I know if I was him that would crush me. Most men and women who are single but date tend to talk to multiple people at once. I’ve never done this. I would feel guilty / get really jealous. Is this just the ways things are?

alright guys I need some help, I want a girlfriend but I’m scared to talk to girls, plus im a loser who sits in the house most of the time what do I do?

Lately I've been asking some girls out. they either said they weren't interested in me as a romantic type or they had a boyfriend. I feel hurt but Each time I thanked them for being honest with me. The reason I'm sharing this is because I wanted some feedback on how I handled each situation.

So, as the attached post indicates, I (21M, college) had a crush on my female best friend's good friend. We had a good rapport, made each laugh, etc. Well, this past Wednesday, our mutual friend tells me that she likewise has a crush on me, which is obviously a huge confidence boost. With this in mind, I figure "why wait?" and after a group hangout that ended with me dropping her to her dorm, I finally gather the courage to ask her out, to which she said yes with a smile. Admittedly, I perhaps should made specific plans, but I figured "would you like to grab coffee/dinner soon?" was sufficient. [My mind/heart was also racing in fairness].

I asked if she wanted to exchange numbers to make it easier seeing as how we only communicated through snap prior. She said something to the tune of "snap's fine", which at first I thought was slightly strange but ultimately brushed it off and took the W. Not to mention, our mutual friend called me an hour later to say that she called her to tell her which I thought was a great sign. The next day, my crush has a procedure done and to my surprise, went out with our group of friends, though I could tell she was in my pain, which made the experience less enjoyable for me of course.

The next day, she miraculously works at our college for hoco. We have a brief interaction, but like the night prior, we did not have any time alone. Furthermore, she barely looks at snap, which our mutual friends claims is normal for her (she does have a fairly low score) but interestingly a gc that we're in flared up just an hour ago. Her icon appears and she even briefly responded to one message.

Now, our mutual friend just told me she smiled when my name was brought up so I suppose that is good. But what does everyone here think? Am I overthinking this or could she be losing interest? Granted, we have not officially gone on a date yet, but I figured if she did in fact like me back, she would at least be a little active on snap.

But I throw it off to all of you. Thank You!

For some context I met this girl a little over a month ago (we met in person, we’re both college students and I just walked up to her after seeing her and got her number). We hung out as friends the first few times, but the third time we saw each other, things turned romantic after she made a move and she ended up staying the night.

Hung out with her again for the first time since then and things went pretty much the same, we cuddled and watched movies and stuff. The issue is that I asked to kiss her and she said “I want to kiss you too but not right now.” I didn’t push because I’m not a weirdo but I asked her for some more clarification on it the next morning and what she said that she’s only been in one real romantic relationship before and she needs to feel super close to someone before she gets intimate with them.

I’m not against a slow burn but I guess I’m just concerned about where this is going. I don’t really think I’m being used bc I know she isn’t seeing anyone else + I’m not paying for anything she gets while we’re out, not to mention there’s plenty of other people she could be hanging out with other than me. We’ve hung out damn near 24 hours straight both times we’ve seen each other last and I’ve had to be the one to end it both times even though I’m way more introverted than her. But we’ve been cuddling and sleeping together, hell I’ve even kissed the side/back of her head a bunch, and to me there’s not really a difference between that stuff and an actual kiss. I enjoy being around her but I don’t want to keep getting invested if it’s not going anywhere.

I don’t really blame her for wanting to be cautious since I think she was sa’d a short bit before we met but it feels like we’re already doing a lot of couple-adjacent things despite her saying that she doesn’t have any expectations for what happens with us, she just wants to keep being around me and see where it goes. Is this an actual thing or am I just getting played?

Hi so I arrange dates perfectly fine and I don’t struggle finding people I like who also like me but it seems to be once I spend time with them they either ghost me or tell me they don’t think we’ll match on these dates I just be myself, talk to them, get to know them I take it slow and do my best to be a good person and show them that I am a good person and I won’t mess them around and stuff but still always if I go on a date with them they end up saying I’m not right i don’t by any means think the girls are the problem I am just wondering what on earth I’m doing wrong like I try my best but after one date they either ghost me or tell me they don’t wanna talk to me anymore genuinely what am I doing wrong if anyone can give me any sort of advice that would be gratefully appreciated. Sorry about the grammar it’s not my strong suit.

So mý girlfriend (18) and I (18) have been dating for 3 months now and every time we are together, we always have such an amazing time.

She usually initiates the hangouts and we always have fun activities planned, we always have long conversations, and I don’t think we’ve ever had an awkward moment.

However, the second that her and I are at a party, or with our friends, everything completely changes

She wants nothing to do with me. She will not say a word to me at all, she will completely ignore me, and when I try to talk to her, she will go on her phone and walk away. 

What’s even worse is that I will see her across the room laughing and talking with our friends, then the second I walk over she acts like she’s depressed.

There’s even some days she barely texts me, and it’s usually just “hey” “cool” “ok”

I’ve tried to talk to her on multiple occasions now, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Even asking if she’s happy we’re dating

She always replies with “I still really like you” “I just get paranoid at parties” “I’m really sorry” “I’ll do better”

I’ve even reminded her many times that I’m glad she puts herself out there and isn’t crazy attached to me, I’ve even asked if she could just say a simple “hello” to me at parties, or just act happy that I’m there.

However, no matter how many times I’ve talked to her, it doesn’t get any better.

It’s gotten so bad to the point where all of our friends have noticed it

All of the girls in our friend group have all sat me down and told me that they’ve tried talking to her about it, (without me asking them to) but they’ve gotten nowhere.

All of the guys in our friend group have said that she’s just a weirdo and that I deserve much better

I usually wouldn’t be stressing this much about a relationship, and I shouldn’t be since it’s only been 3 months. I’ve even been reminded by all of my friends that they are on my side too.

but it’s just really hard to end things because I really like this girl and when I get upset about the parties, I look back at all the stuff we do together, and it just makes me want to work something out with her.

If we do end this relationship, the worst case is that we’ll go back to being friends and act like nothing happened, but I still enjoy it when it’s just her and I. I don’t want to lose that.

I just don’t know what is going on and don’t know if I should keep doing this.

I live in a very rural area and work in a specialized trade, earning about $150,000 a year after taxes. My house is paid off, and staying another 3 to 5 years could put me in a position to work just three days a week. I’m grateful, but my dating life is almost nonexistent.
My first relationship lasted six months and ended nine months ago. Aside from that, dating has gone nowhere over the past six years. Experiencing companionship made me realize how much I want marriage and a family, and it’s hard to put that aside and just keep working.
Recently, I visited a city for a wedding and got 15 matches in 72 hours, including women messaging first. At home, I’ve gotten two matches in three months. Matches aren’t relationships, but the difference was striking. I’m active, in good shape, and run roughly a half marathon weekly. Meeting people my age locally is difficult, and a major city is about three hours away.
I see four options:
1. Stay here: Keep building financially, but face the same limited dating opportunities.
2. Move permanently: Probably drop to around $55,000 after taxes, with more dating opportunities. But would I eventually want to return for my career, and would a partner want that?
3. Move temporarily: Keep my house but rent and live in a distant city for 4 to 6 months while working there. Would someone seeking commitment date me knowing I might leave?
4. Try travel mode: Be honest about where I live and travel for dates if there’s mutual interest. Would that seem reasonable or come across as desperate?
For temporary work, I’d look for a position under a licensed employer. Transferring my own trade license and establishing myself permanently would be more complicated.
I know some people will think leaving that income is crazy. I understand, but I’m trying to be honest about what I want beyond work. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
What would you do? Has anyone faced a similar choice?

About two months ago, a girl my age randomly followed me on Instagram. We don’t know each other, but we have mutual friends and live in the same area. We both have private profiles, and she’s liked a one of my posts since then.

I think she’s cute, and looking at her profile, we seem to have some things in common, especially hiking and nature.

She rarely posts, so I’m thinking of just DMing her something like, “Hey, I feel like we have some things in common, but I don’t think we’ve actually met.”

Would that be a weird way to start a conversation? Could her following me first mean anything?

Thanks for the adv

Hello , I recently got out of a 2 year LDR relationship with a woman who admitted to using me and sleeping with another man in the bed I paid for.

I overlooked red flags with my ex, I was lonely and she was a manipulative opportunist.

I am on week three of no contact I was very depressed for two weeks. I want to date but IDK how, I'm an introvert, no friends and I try to avoid drinking alcohol.

How can I ease myself back into dating or make myself into a person worth dating?

I need some advice on if this girl is giving me signs that she is interested in me? or if I’m just being stupid? I’m clueless when it comes to these things. We’re coworkers in different departments of a grocery store, so we don’t get to talk often, usually when we’re both on break at the same time, which is not always.

But when we do, we talk about whatever, never anything too crazy. You know, about our days, what we got going on. If I walk by her department and it’s not busy, she asks me how long I’m here till or whatever, have a chat. She does laugh a lot whenever we talk. And today, we are outside talking. It’s a little cold out. She asked me a couple times to feel how cold her hands are. I’m telling her it’s not that cold, whatever, just messing with her, but she asked asked me to feel them a multiple different points of us talking. I did twice. Like, is that her trying to break the contact barrier? Or am I just reading into it too much? She also makes eye contact with me, never shies away from it. She also said one time she jokingly said she “hates men”, and I made a funny comment about that, and she said, “Well, except for you,” and we’re not like best friends or anything, so I found that to be odd. She also showed me a picture of her tattoo that’s in between her boobs, and she showed me the picture. (I didn’t ask her to show me) I just asked what she got. Like I said, I don’t know if I’m clueless about this stuff, and I don’t wanna do anything immediate without knowing for sure because I don’t want things to be awkward at work and with our mutual friend. So, am I dumbass? I’d love to know.

Guys time to wake up and go outside, you WILL find girls seeing short guys, bald guys, chubby guys etc

You really think a random girl online cares about hurting your feelings so she lies about what she likes?

Grow up.

​

I’m looking for some honest advice from women because I genuinely want to understand your perspective.

I’ve had a few relationships and interactions with girls, and I’ve noticed a pattern. In the past, things sometimes naturally progressed from talking to a relationship. However, after a breakup with a girl I was deeply attached to, I took a break from dating for almost two years.

When I started interacting with girls again, I connected with 2–3 girls. We talked a lot, shared personal things, had deep conversations, and sometimes the conversations felt quite intimate. But every time, I ended up stuck in the talking stage. Things never progressed towards physical intimacy, and eventually, the connection started fading.

I’m an introvert, and I think one of my biggest problems is that I don’t know how to take things forward. I can have long conversations, build an emotional connection, and get comfortable with someone, but I struggle with flirting, expressing physical attraction, and making the first move.

I don’t want to assume that a girl owes me anything just because we talk a lot or share personal things. I understand that emotional closeness doesn't automatically mean physical attraction. But I do want to learn how to recognize mutual interest and communicate my own intentions instead of staying in the talking stage indefinitely.

So, I’d love to hear from women here:

What makes you see a guy as someone you’re romantically and physically attracted to rather than just someone you enjoy talking to?

If you like a guy, what signs might you give him that you're open to flirting or taking things further?

Do you appreciate it when a guy openly expresses his attraction, or do you prefer things to develop more gradually?

How would you like a guy to initiate something like holding hands or a first kiss? What makes it feel natural rather than awkward or uncomfortable?

If a guy keeps having deep conversations with you but never flirts or makes his intentions clear, would you eventually start seeing him as just a friend?

What advice would you give an introverted guy who wants to get better at dating and building physical chemistry?

I’m not looking for tricks to convince someone to sleep with me. I just want to understand how women experience these situations and how I can express my interest confidently while making sure the interest is mutual.

I’d really appreciate honest answers, even if there’s something about my approach that I might be getting wrong.

I met this girl at work about six or eight months ago and over time we’ve become pretty close. We only work together a few times a month, but whenever we do, we joke around, tease each other, and talk about personal things including past relationships and sexual experiences. She has a boyfriend, and I’ve always respected that. She also initiates conversations with me, and our manager has noticed how well we get along.

I’m pretty fit and muscular, and I’ve occasionally caught her looking at my physique when I wear tank tops. One time I asked which part of my body stood out to the most. This wasn’t an unusual question between us because we already ask each other personal questions. She looked me up and down, got a lil smirk on her face, and mentioned my chest, arms, and back. She also add that my legs were pretty big because she notices them when I wear shorts.

Recently she started wearing noticeable perfume at work which stood out because our workplace is pretty dirty and people don’t normally wear perfume or cologne.

I also asked for her Instagram because I was going backpacking and wanted to share my pictures. She declined because she has a boyfriend and wanted to respect him but she said “maybe later on” and suggested I show her the pictures in person. When I returned she agreed to see them. We walked to my car after work and she repeatedly asked why I’d parked so far away,l even though it was only about a minute from the entrance. It was morning the sun was out, and there were cameras everywhere. She stood beside my car while I showed her the pictures and she seemed to genuinely enjoy them.

Another incident happened recently while we were catching up at work. I showed her how I roll up the sleeves of my flannel and she said I wasn’t doing it properly. I asked her to show me and she rolled up both sleeves herself while casually continuing our conversation. It didn’t feel awkward but it made me wonder whether it showed how comfortable she is being physically close to me.

Is this just friendly behavior or is there more?

Hey guys, quick context.

I met a girl on hinge, we exchanged some conversation and I asked her out on date to grab dinner and she excitedly agreed. Our convo on hinge flowed nice and it was fun and lighthearted. After we had the place and time planned, I left her with my number in case any change of plans occurred.

Now this is usually where I hope the person just texts me to confirm contact and that’s it, but that wasn’t the case. She started a convo and asked me what I was up to, I responded and it turned into a boring, one sided conversation. I noticed the way she was talking to me in imessage was not as enthusiastic as hinge.

Fast forward to today, the day before we are supposed to grab dinner. I sent her a text letting her know that I was looking forward to meeting her tomorrow; she responded and said that she needed to reschedule because she just realized she has brunch with her family.

I usually will give people the benefit of the doubt, but what is throwing me off about this is that she is rescheduling a dinner at 6pm because of a brunch. The situation seems kind of flaky to me, or maybe I was just a back up in case something didn’t work out with someone else, but I wanted some other opinions before assuming.

Would you give this another chance, or just move on?

Thanks!