Any comments on why she ghosted me after this?

I am going through a divorce (39M) and I have never been in the dating market with apps. Just downloaded two apps and they seem like scams. Pay a subscription and pay for your comment or like to get priority. The idea of dating someone and trying to impress them with flowers, gifts and great activities sounds exhausting. I want to jump from dating to just enjoying each other's company in a committed relationship. The dating part seems like a lot of work and I am not sure it's worth the effort.

I know this is a pretty broad question but I’m legitimately clueless. I live in a smaller city with very few third spaces, and this makes it very hard to meet new people/romantic partners. Could anyone give me some advice on what I could do to help introduce new people to my life? I don’t know where to start, and I have very few friends who I could go out with in an attempt to meet someone new.

Hey, is it a canon event in a man’s life to get his heart broken by someone he genuinely loves in his early 20s?

I’m not talking about teenage relationships or short-lived crushes. I’m talking about when you’re in college, about to graduate, or already working, and you’ve been with someone for two years or more.

You’ve built a deep connection with her, imagined a future together, and genuinely believed things would work out. Then, one day, she leaves, ghosts you, or cheats on you, or it just doesn't work out and you’re left trying to make sense of what happened.

For some men, this might be the first time they’ve ever loved someone that deeply. You’re trying to build your career and figure out your life, and suddenly you’re also dealing with losing someone who was a huge part of it.

how long did it take you to feel like yourself again?

This might be an odd question, but lately, I’ve realised that I find most women quite dull personality-wise. They just don’t seem to have that spark I’m looking for. I’m attracted to them primarily because of my sexual needs, but I don’t feel intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually fulfilled by them.

I’ve met women who do possess those qualities, and I feel a much stronger attraction to them, but they’re incredibly rare and difficult to come by.

So, putting that aside, how do I learn to like women I find dull?

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There’s a girl at my office whom I like. We joke around and have friendly conversations, but I’m not sure if she’s interested in me or just being friendly.

Recently, we started sharing Instagram reels. Initially, I sent her a couple of reels, and she only reacted. Later, she sent me a funny office-related reel, and now we both initiate sharing reels sometimes.

However, our DMs are mostly just reels and reactions, and things at the office haven’t really changed.

I don’t want to make things awkward since we work together, but I want to know if there’s a chance she likes me.

What should I do next? Should I start a proper conversation with her, keep things natural, or make a move? How can I tell if she’s interested without making things awkward?

I'm 22M, and I've been dating a girl for around two months. I've never been in an official relationship before, and I'm currently seeing a therapist.

A little background: Around six months ago, I had a really painful experience with a girl I was emotionally invested in. I was constantly chasing her affection, feeling butterflies, and worrying about whether she liked me. When things ended, I was devastated and started wondering whether I'd ever be able to love someone again. She broke me.

Then I met this girl through work.

We started as friends, spent hours together every day, and gradually became romantically involved. She's genuinely one of the sweetest, most emotionally mature and understanding people I've met. She's affectionate, communicates openly, respects my boundaries, and makes an effort to understand me.

Initially, I worried that things were moving too fast, especially because she'd recently left a long-term relationship. I wanted to take things slowly, and she respected that.

But as we got closer, I started developing increasingly intense anxiety.

At first, my thoughts revolved around commitment:

• What if I lose my freedom in a relationship?
• What if I get bored of her?
• What if I hurt her because I can't reciprocate her feelings?
• What if I commit and then realize I've made a mistake?

Despite this, I genuinely enjoyed spending time with her. I wanted to see her, hold her hand, and kiss her.

We finally had our first kiss recently, and it was amazing. But almost immediately afterward, the anxiety started increasing. Whenever we discussed the future or becoming official, I'd get an awful tightness in my chest and stomach and feel an overwhelming urge to escape.

I discussed this with my therapist, who suggested that we stop having serious conversations about our future for 15 days and simply enjoy dating in the present.

I thought that would help.

But now my anxiety has shifted from worrying about commitment to obsessively questioning whether I even love or like her enough.

Yesterday, she came over to my house. We watched a movie together and kissed for about half an hour.

This was literally the kind of romantic experience I've dreamed about having for years.

But instead of feeling happy, I felt overwhelmed by anxiety and guilt.

Even while kissing her, I was mentally checking my emotions:

Am I enjoying this enough? Why don't I feel butterflies? Why don't I feel overwhelming attraction? Am I faking my feelings? Am I leading her on?

She told me she feels like she's known me for years and that she's incredibly happy with me.

At one point, knowing she does not open up to people easily, seeing she was so comfortable and happy, seeing her open up like that almost made me cry.

Not because I was happy, but because I felt guilty that I couldn't match her excitement.

She's such a sweet person, and the thought that I might be faking my feelings or eventually hurt her is destroying me.

After dropping her home, I spent around literally each hour constantly thinking about whether I actually love her.

Now, even thinking about her, yesterday's kisses, or relationships in general immediately triggers that horrible tight feeling in my chest and stomach.

I've started avoiding opening our chat because seeing her name brings up the anxiety.

I'm not even sure what my real feelings are anymore because I'm constantly analyzing them. And I can't help but compare how I couldn't stop smiling when I first had my first kiss with the girl who really hurt me.

What's especially confusing is that my fears seem to keep changing. Initially, I was afraid of getting too attached and being hurt again. Then I was afraid of commitment. Now I'm terrified that I don't love her enough.

I don't want to force myself into a relationship, but I also don't want anxiety to dictate my decisions or hurt someone I genuinely care about.

I'm exhausted. I feel like I can't even smile naturally anymore, and something that should be a beautiful experience has become associated with dread. I basically can't escape that emotion even when thinking about the most random thing with her. I feel like I should be dancing of joy because of how a dream of mine of watching a movie and making out has finally happened but I just can't and it's hurting me.

I'm already in therapy and I'm genuinely trying my best to not sabotage myself and end a potentially incredible relationship. But that feeling in my chest and gut is really taking a toll on my mental health and I'm really thinking if it's all worth it.

I'm just scared that if I end things and eventually when seeing new people I realize that I was the problem all along and I still keep having these emotions and thoughts. That would be really painful and a lifelong regret.

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences, especially knowing people also think or feel this way would be quite healing. Thanks.

I’m a 20-year-old guy who has been in relationships before, but the girls always approached me first. I can talk normally with strangers, but when I like a girl, I get shy and scared to make the first move. Sometimes we make eye contact, but I overthink everything and walk away without talking to her. When I have a crush, I usually do nothing and eventually give up.
How can I overcome this fear and learn to approach girls first? I’m looking for real advice from people who have experienced the same thing. I want to stop letting fear and overthinking control me.

I’ve(18m) been talking to this girl(18f) for about a month now.

We matched on a few dating apps. Anyways, we’ve hung out a few times, one of them being a dinner date I took her in and one a tour of her college. Anyways, here’s the issue: I don’t know if she is just having fun around me or is romantically attracted to me. She’s very sweet and she’s engaging and not dry at all. But she isn’t giving any sort of flirty cues that I can pick up on. No touches no kiss nothing. The most physical interaction we’ve had is a fist bump💔. Now maybe of course she isn’t certain if I’m into her but I’ve bought her small little gifts of stuff I’ve learned she likes, brought her lunch, I’ve told her she was beautiful and I’ve tried my hardest to not seem not interested. At first I thought maybe it’s me yet at the same time she doesn’t seem to give me any signals or anything to act on.

I like her a lot but I’m also not at all interested in her being someone to just have fun hanging around, so I’d like to cut the bullshit and ask her straight up. But I’m not sure if that’s ok or normal.

I've been dating for 4–5 years. As an Asian, my parents' approval is important when it comes to marriage in our community.

I met a girl two years ago who seemed perfect for me - beautiful, sexy, with a lovely smile, and someone who would have gelled well with my parents. She wasn't working, and given that I'm in the top 0.1% of earners, she was worried my parents might not approve of her.

She was very interested in me but only dropped hints, which I didn't pick up. She would occasionally stop talking to me and hint at her concerns about parental approval, but I didn't understand those hints either. She never told me her concerns directly, so I assumed she wasn't interested and stopped pursuing her.

I texted her a few months ago and found out she'd gotten married. When I asked her about it, she confirmed that she'd been interested in me back then.

She's the last person I liked who felt the same way about me. Since then, I haven't met anyone I truly like who reciprocates those feelings.

I keep thinking about how badly I fumbled this and feel stupid for not picking up the hints. I was talking to multiple people so that might also have been a factor - I never fully settled on one person

How do I move on from this?

We went on a first date on Friday,she stayed at mine,we didn’t have sex,I messaged her the day after saying I had a good time and that I’d like to do it again she said she did too and she’d want to see me again

I seem to be able to regularly attract neurodivergent and empathetic family girls, as well as at times, girls who glowed up and weren't always hot.

If a girl comes from a broken home, has been hot all her life (which is a form of trauma on its own), or is more experienced at life than me, I can't keep them. And even in the very rare times we do end up hooking up, usually it's only because they're on the crazier side and super slutty, rather than any real connection or compatability.

My advantage seems to be in making women feel seen, safe, comfortable. While I do make moves and can lead, I'm also not the edgiest most experienced guy out there (in term of life not sex), but it's enough to meet the threshold of attraction. So I'm not full bad boy. I'm the relationship "good bad boy" leaning more towards good.

I still hook up fast, but it's also frustrating because the girls who were hot all their life have a higher threshold for bad boy it seems when it comes to hook ups. I've noticed I have better chances with them the more reckless I seem, in the sense that nothing scares me because of being so "experienced".

They seem to thrive on higher emotional intensity, more tension and maturity, and extreme confidence.

The hot girls who glowed up later in life have a lower threshold for confidence and are usually less mentally fucked up so their expectations for dominance and confidence are lower. I tend to do better with them but they're still higher than the typical girl.

It's like there's a threshold of energy I don't have yet.