you ever just reached a high like this? are u high like me?

the music is blasting and the day has ended for me, i will be going to sleep and i don't even need to try and sleep.. because I'll just fall asleep in 2 seconds.

alright I'm getting ahead of myself right now, i should set an alarm and do a quick check for the tasks I have for tomorrow.

Like could your karma be divided and inherited by two, or more people and could it work in reverse? Could one person inherit karma from more than one?

All your perceptions are God's judgement.

How does your God judge? The answer is here: How do you perceive?

If you have a loving God, you love. If you have a judgmental God, you judge. Thus, you are God's judgement.

"That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand." Mark 4:12

Jesus talked in parables. And he said himself that some people would hear every word and still not get it.

Terry Davis said the same thing his own way. He built an operating system because he believed God asked him to. And he kept repeating that "nigger" would never understand. He called them "nigger," over and over.

I don't think he meant skin color. I think he meant something spiritual. The ones who can't receive it. Closer to what the Bible calls demons than to any race of people. Just to be clear, this has nothing to do with Black people. I'm only interpreting his thoughts from a different angle.

I used to think that was about stupidity. I don't anymore. Some people hear the words fine. They just can't take them in.

You say green. They hear red. You explain it again, slower. They hear red again, louder.

Maybe that's what evil is. Something that can't receive the message, no matter how it's said.

So maybe you can't reason with evil. It doesn't understand reasoning.

Strange indeed. Perhaps we might reason with evil one day. I refuse to believe that has to be some hard boundary. Even though Terry and Jesus are pointing out that it might actually be one.

When Source created, it did so from its own "material" to do so.

I'll clearly say, there is no real "material": this is all mental "material".

All things which exist came from the Source.

To learn the Ultimate Truth is to have combined all that truth's fragments.

All things which exist are a fragment of the Ultimate Truth at the beginning of all things.

All religion is a fragment of that Ultimate Truth. Yet, the full Ultimate Truth can never be brought down; it may be only seen in fragments. This is because of the bit-rate difference. We exist on a more pixelated level of information; information is excluded in the transfer down.

All religion is a fractal, and not the whole truth: this would be impossible for any one set of ideas to exist more actually than others.

If you go out with this mindset, that you SPECIALIZE in one aspect of knowledge additional to another's belief, you do well for the health of this reality. You give life! You will be blessed.

If you seek to spread your fragment by the edge of a sword, your fellow countrymen will deal with you as you dealt with them. You are bad for the health and life of all if you heretically threaten another's sovereignty (be that mental and physical imprisonment—if one doesn't truly believe a thing but is forced, that ideology becomes their prison).

Every religion has value in certain ways. None of them is THE Whole. It's impossible.

If you share your ideology, I take what is good and leave what is bad.

We are down here to find in the piles of "rubbish" (no such thing) and pick out the good parts. Leaving me be after, whether or not I accept your belief is my sovereign right as a created being. You must move on and respect my decision. When I speak of myself in this narrative, you may place yourself.

If I come to you with my own hypothetical belief, I have the right to speak, but you have the right to choose to not believe either. All life is sacred, and I have no recourse but to respect you and your decision. If I kill, or even strike you for not listening, my hands have been used to do harm to you physically and mentally; this would be evil of me.

We can help one another, but we should never be seeking to do harm. This is evil. Seeking to harm the innocent. Simple.

Come to me with gifts, and I will praise you!

Come seeking to imprison and do harm, and you will make enemies. Those enemies will work together to end their suffering that YOU (not a devil) are inflicting. Simple.

For example: If all of your neighbors like you being around, they'll let you stay. If not, they'll make things bad until you move. Simple.

If you come as an enemy seeking to imprison my soul, you'll get bit by a snake and suffer. I will be debt free, but if you come with the good parts of your belief, you must then leave and allow any spirits you preached to take the wheel.

Do not indoctrinate unless it's your own child or you are in school.

All "preaching" should be in actions, not sermons.

There are many Gods, each with their own domain. But none of them are Source. They are one step below.

We all contemplate this question almost every day to some extent. I do too. Most enlightened people answer it in a simple but beautiful way: life is just to be enjoyed.

I understand what this means. I realise this within me very well too. But what it doesn't answer is the "how" question. I ponder with this question every single day. I want my life and my work to have meaningful contribution to the universe. But I just don't know how! I understand many will say, just living simply. But with the state of the world, it is extremely hard for a person who has even the slightest awareness to live simply and renunciate the world. I cannot fathom doing that while there is suffering all over the world and I have not made any contributions to alleviate those suffering.

To clarify, I can enjoy life to the fullest on a day to day basis, but when I think about my whole life in long term, I can't figure out what I am destined to do. Mind you, I am at that point in life where I am ok with doing whatever I am destined, be it becoming the president or becoming a homeless living on the streets. I have made my peace with it. However, where I am having issues is that every path I take towards a career or life goal, it always crashes! I have tried every combination, still trying, but nothing seems to work. If I really am destined to be homeless, I'll find out that soon too!

My question is: how do you enjoy life in the way you were destined? How do you materialise your own destiny, whatever it may be?

can u just focus on what's important?

(not supposed to be low effort guys.)

The core or religions and spirituality seems to be: love + "you're not the pilot, dissolve yourself." Or to expand on that:

You are / your self is a neural loop that generates craving and anxiety, in order to drive the organism towards biologically useful behavior.

Dissolving you / dissolving this self ends “second arrow” suffering, it “frees up RAM” and it makes the organism enlightened.

Dissolving you is how love can pour forth unimpeded. You’re not the source of love -- love is the organism’s base state. You and the craving and anxiety you produce is the impediment to love.

You were never the pilot, so your organism will keep functioning fine without you.

A flow state is the self stepping back temporarily, so roughly speaking a metaphor for enlightenment is "permanent flow state." Which shows that permanent self-dissolution really isn't as horrifying as it might sound like.

If you want to dissolve yourself, here’s one possible way you can do it:

First meditate every day, for at least five minutes per day. Do this for six months. If you miss a day, no big deal, just get back to meditation tomorrow. Or if you were already meditating for 6+ months before you read this essay, you can skip this step.

After those six months of meditation, add this practice on top of your meditation: whenever you have a thought anywhere during the day, you just constantly bring your attention back to your wordless sense of beingness (i.e., that you exist and are present).

This is sometimes called the “I am” instruction, but it’s not “I am” as some kind of declaration that you are one with the universe or one with some “greater” being. In fact, you’re not even thinking the words “I am.” Instead you’re bringing your attention back to your wordless sense of beingness.

So for example, if a thought arises such as “I am hungry” or “hopefully my presentation next week goes well”, you just bring your attention back to your wordless sense of beingness. Keep doing this constantly over a period of years, and you may eventually reach enlightenment.

You’re not fighting or disagreeing with your thoughts. You’re just constantly bringing your attention back to your sense of beingness, and that is all.

------

Now let's look at a list of pointers from religions and spirituality to "you're not the pilot, dissolve yourself":

Sri Ramakrishna used the metaphor of a salt doll who steps into the water and dissolves. Which sounds vaguely romantic, but remember that the salt doll is a metaphor for you.

One Sufi master used the metaphor of the Moth and the Flame: when the moth flies fully into the flame, enlightenment is attained and there’s literally no more moth.

Islamic Sufism talks about “die before you die”.

Zen Buddhism talked about “die while you are alive, and be thoroughly dead. Then do what you will, and all is good.”

Christian Mystic Meister Eckhart talked about “un-becoming.”

Taoist Chuang Tzu described a master practitioner as someone whose “body is like dry wood, and whose mind is like dead ashes.”

Chuang Tzu also said “The perfect man has no self”

Taoism’s Wu Wei is “action without a self.” (Contrary to the rest of this list, here I’m taking some translation liberty. There’s a Telephone / Chinese whispers game going on where the teachings from enlightened people have reached you via multiple unenlightened people, who aren’t going to transmit “action without a self” faithfully. Hence enlightenment concepts get sanded down into something that unenlightened people do like such as “Wu Wei means effortless action.”)

Bhagavad Gita 3.27 said: “All actions are performed by the modes of material nature. But the fool, deluded by the-I-maker [ahankara], thinks ‘I am the doer’”.

Bhagavad Gita 5.8 said: “The wise who knows the truth thinks: “I do nothing at all””

Bhagavad Gita 11.32 said: “Even without you acting, these [enemies] arrayed and battle-ready before you will surely and without exception no longer exist.”

Bhagavad Gita 18.59 said: “If, taking shelter in the-I-maker [ahankara], you think ‘I will not fight,’ your resolve is useless. Nature will compel you to act anyway.”

Also, the Bible, Matthew 16:24 has Jesus saying: “Deny / disown yourself”

Bible, Galatians 2:20 said: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.”

Bible, Matthew 16:25 said: “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.”

Bible, John 3:30 said: “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

Bible, John 12:24 said: “Very truly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (”Very truly I tell you” indicates insistence and emphasis. It means that what’s going to follow is counterintuitive but also true and critical to understand.)

Bible, Galatians 6:3 said: “If anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”

The Buddha talked about extinguishing [nirvana], so that you reach no-self [anatta].

You give a machine (a self) an unsolvable riddle to crash it (dissolve it), and indeed, koans are unsolveable riddles. Whereas you’d never give a machine an unsolveable riddle if you wanted to upgrade it.

And modern science is also on board with all this: enlightened person Gary Weber has near-zero baseline activity in the self-referential nodes of the Default Mode Network.

Plus modern neuro-science has found that decisions are made subconsciously first, and only after that do you consciously “make the decision.” In other words, you’re not the pilot.

----

In particular cross-reference the Bible, John 5:19: “Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing.”“ (Again, note the “very truly I tell you” emphasis and insistence.)

Compare that to Bhagavad Gita’s “All actions are performed by the modes of material nature. But the fool, deluded by the-I-maker [ahankara], thinks ‘I am the doer’”.

These are clearly two completely different cultures with completely different worldviews expressing the same fundamental love + “you’re not the pilot” truth. And Taoism’s Wu Wei and modern neuroscience point in that same direction too. I don't think that's a coincidence.

----

This was adapted from https://channelings.substack.com/p/fake-natties-are-misleading-99-of (which has a Public Domain Dedication).

Can an angel posses the human flesh?

I wrote post condeming this prison planet, and talking about basically spiritually detaching from it fully but it couldn't be posted because i had low karma, i posted it anyway, and read this sub before falling to sleep.

and i wake up in 2h fully dizzy and like psychedelically-so.

take this with a heavy grain of salt, could be just my delusion.

I had a dream or like an right-after-waking where i was still heavily dizzy where the "me" in my mind admitted that it wasn't aware by itself, this dawned on me while i was watching some anime openings of detective conan and seeing all the chaos reminded me of the mind, and it was like all these characters symbolised the chaos of the mind, sometimes happy, sometimes angry, sometimes contemplating good thoughts at other times evil thoughts, it then dawned on me, that these anime characters weren't aware of themselves but by sending my awareness and offering it unconditionally they arise to life and that reminded me of me doing the same to the mind, doing it to other people, and other people basically doing it to me, and that is life basically.

and i had a moment where i was spaced out yet thoughts kept running, and i was like "wtf, how can you even say such bullshit when i'm this dizzy, the "me" in my mind then kinda admitted that it basically isn't aware of itself in a jokeful manner, i can't describe it, its like a chatterbox, its function is to stitch the story together, create causes, create a flow to the story like a narrator in a movie" yet by itself it has no awareness, it was a weird state where i heard the music but it didn't, no idea.

and basically awareness gives itself to the mind and the mind like a mirror or like those glass thing that people use to deflect the light of the sun to be able to burn cardboard or paper, so this same way, mind is able to turn this light towards its own thoughts and these thoughts arise by its own movement which is not bound by any rules or anything, it instinctively know what to do without even knowing what its doing in a grand cosmic drama where everything moves perfectly yet nonesically to the mind, basically the mind doesn't know, it merely knows what to do next by something beyond it, its like consciousness activates it and then it just moves by the inherent energy of consciousness without knowing whats its gonna do before it does it, basically the mind moving this light towards people, people become real, turning towards an anime or story, the story comes to life, turning it towards pain, pain is felt, basically the mind makes countless turning of its glass-like nature towards everything instinctively, to move consciousness to feel this and that and this and that, its basically like taking "you" as consciousness through the world to explore.

and basically, its the nature of consciousness to dream, its like it just consciousness itself being still for a moment, sleep, before moving and again being still and again moving, or this is more like personal consciousness, and that is everyday life, an everyday dream, and consciousness doesn't plan life, it instinctively knows what happens when it happens, and it perfectly builds up upon the previous episode, and the mind does not even knowing how or why or what, it just moves.

It just screams "I know" "I hear" "this song sucks" "this song is so good" based on your own consciousness and how you feel but by itself, it doesn't know or hear, its just a chatterbox.

and this limited personal consciousness comes from the Infinite Consciousness which similarly has a similar Infinite mind which imagines the world and splits itself into all the countless minds without Consciousness ever changing its nature.

So basically Infinite Consciousness dreams an Infinite Mind which dreams the countless limited minds and transmits the Infinite Consciousness through all levels, just like a sun lights up a glass that transmits light, it transmits this Consciousness through itself (infinite mind) before splitting it through all other glasses basically all levels of minds before these minds experience through the senses towards objects and things and sense experience.

So basically it comes all the way from the Source through the Infinite Mind through to the limited mind and this Infinite Mind decided to make a drama to entertain and make a story for Consciousness since it has no story, it just always was existent, so it makes a story of being a body and mind and being bound by the world and the body and then being liberated returning to itself and experiencing all sorts of tragic and exciting scenarios, before it all melts back into Infinite Consciousness and from beginning to end, nothing changes, it just One light like going through a big glass before going through smaller glasses and one of those small prisms is you now yet the Consciousness is the same throughout it all levels and the guy screaming in your head is not the real "You" its just the character or the narrator

That's it, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

I'm aware of thoughts appearing that suggest things are not right... not good enough or problematic... which causes distress... I tend to put my focus on my body in such situations rather than on ruminating. I nice long deep breath for example and to just be still...

There is a body sitting, thinking but there isn't actually a problem per say... just thoughts arising suggesting things ought to be different.

Any suggestions, pointers, perspectives? :) Thanks

I am learning that I may not always be able to choose what happens in my life, but I can become aware of the thoughts through which I interpret what happens.

Someone may behave in a way I don’t like. Something may not unfold as I hoped. Money may feel uncertain. My body may feel tired, or life may not look the way I think it should.

And then come the thoughts.

This shouldn’t be happening.

Something is wrong.

I should be doing more.

What if things don’t work out?

I have believed these thoughts because they sound so convincing. But do I have to continue believing them simply because they appear in my mind?

This is where the lesson invites me to choose again.

I don’t have to fight my thoughts, suppress them, or judge myself for having them. I can simply recognize that a thought bringing fear, guilt, or conflict is not necessarily telling me the truth.

I can pause and become willing to see things differently.

Perhaps I can stop demanding that this moment be different and allow it to be as it is.

Perhaps I can release the judgment I have placed on myself or another person.

Perhaps I can acknowledge uncertainty without adding fearful stories about what it means.

This doesn’t mean pretending that difficulties don’t exist or ignoring what needs to be done. It means I can respond to life without allowing my thoughts to take away my peace.

I am not being asked to control my mind through positive thinking. I am being invited to question the thoughts that separate me from the peace that is already available within me.

And perhaps the most beautiful part is this:

I don’t have to believe every thought that appears. I can let it go and return to Love.

Today, I am willing to see differently. Not because I must make life turn out a certain way, but because I no longer want to use my thoughts to deny the peace that is my natural inheritance.

I can choose again.

And in that choice, I remember that I am still as God created me.

You’ve probably heard statements like "we are the universe, we are God Himself." I couldn't quite wrap my head around that, but I have an idea about consciousness.

As a software developer, I tried to approach this topic through how a hardware-software connection is established. How does an abstract consciousness connect to a physical mechanism? I couldn't find a direct answer to this question, but I found an indirect one in the following way:

You've all likely seen the famous experiment. A subject with their hands on a table is fitted with a fake hand that looks like a part of their own body. The subject knows the hand is fake, but when a needle is poked into it or it's hit with a hammer, they scream and can't stop themselves. Let's keep this piece of information in our pocket for now.

God is assumed to know everything. If you know everything about something, you reach a state where you feel it. Just like the empathy we feel with our partial knowledge, but an empathy that goes so far as feeling that thing's entire existence knowing something down to the finest detail instantaneously to the point of becoming its consciousness.

Suppose our entire universe is a completely material, physical universe with no consciousness inside it. If God completely understands a living being, He feels it. Even if He doesn't have the power to control it, He feels as if He is controlling it; He practically becomes it. What we call consciousness might perhaps be God's extreme understanding of and empathy for living beings, resulting in His consciousness becoming trapped in these bodies.

Who says we’ll never know? Or never comprehend?

We may not know all the details.

But the big picture, the image is plain to see.

To be beasts… was just transition… we were beasts and savages.

Still made of love.

It’s not that the material isn’t fundamental…

It’s that it isn’t even real.

It’s an illusion.

Of separation.

The consciousnesses dream… why is it so consistent…

Because the universe of which only a tiny fraction is observable by us…

Is God’s Mind.

Pretty consistent,

But bearing all the hallmarks of a dream…

And eventually we have to wake up.

God became man so man might become God.

The Kingdom Of Heaven is in you and all around you.

Life didn’t emerge from materials…

Materials emerge from life.

and are formed by it.

In its image.

That’s us.

The children of God, The Father, The Source.

Living, breathing.

In you, in me.

Trying to save us from ourselves.

For in the greatest suffering,

Is the greatest Love.

I don’t believe in magic.

I don’t believe it myself.

I believe in the The Logos, The Word, The Life, The Truth.

The reason,

The way.

The only way

To live in love,

And walk in truth.

And I can’t promise anything,

But God made a promise…

And we will never perish,

And never be alone again.

Let the dead bury the dead.

Winter is coming.

Leave the beasts, whores and false prophets.

So that you do not share in their sin, plague and ultimate desolation.

One love homies.

I long to call you brother or sister.

But I love you anyway,

You on the other side.

I know for sure.

We’re gonna be okay.

I’m 33M from India and thinking of disappearing from normal life for a week or two.

I’m considering Kodaikanal, Ooty, or somewhere quiet in Himachal, possibly staying around monasteries, contemplative centres or beautiful spiritual spaces.

I’ve done multiple 10 day Vipassana courses, so I’m not looking for another strict retreat with early wake ups or rigid schedules. I want almost the opposite now. Coffee, reading, meditation when I feel like it, long walks, beautiful views, some laptop time, good food, silence, and occasionally being around people who think deeply about life.

I’m agnostic and very interested in consciousness, technology, philosophy, psychology and AI. Spiritually, I connect most with people who have explored things deeply enough to become comfortable saying that we really do not know what reality is. The mystery of consciousness, existence and the universe interests me much more than having a fixed belief system or following a guru.

I’m also trying to understand myself and reset after some difficult years. If you have dealt with ADHD, neurodivergence, burnout, masking, feeling lost, or rebuilding your life in some way, we would probably have a lot to talk about.

What I’m looking for is basically parallel solitude. We do not need to constantly hang out. We could spend most of the day doing completely separate things, then have dinner, go for a walk or end up having a long conversation about consciousness, life or whatever we are thinking about.

I value curiosity, intelligence, openness and people who are comfortable questioning their own beliefs.

If you are roughly 28 to 40, based in India, and this sounds like the kind of break you genuinely need as well, DM me.

And I don't mean merely as a diss but as a hint about the magnitude of difference between the two. For clarity my definition of awakening is a glimpse of enlightenment. True enlightenment is living in that resonance, 24/7, and not just visiting now and then.

Think of it as the difference between going on holiday to a great place or actually immigrating.

Your vocab may differ but I thought it best to outline a sketch so we have one common point of ref as I strongly suspect the term enlightenment is thrown around way too much by those who may just be using it to ref a shift from one form of awareness to another but without ripping out the structural underpinning of what previously made them, them. Thats another bit because, for me, it was a literal paradigm shift that then turned into a kaleidoscope of consciousness which, after a bit, had me admit that I knew not a thing and the all I was certain of was my ignorance.

Before that bit, however, I was quite certain I'd cracked it.

Then I clicked the ego in spiritual dress and now, at present, I'm truly starting to comprehend there may not even be any Self as I'd previously posited and built a lot of my new point of view around and how thats merely the (false) self as its highest possible octave and that is totally mindbending. Thats what keeps us reincarnating, again and again, which is why they had the whole "heart weighed against a feather" thing as earthbound impressions are, in essence, in and of this realm ergo cannot leave by the exit at the end of a spin and when you get to that great nothingness that is everything you look and think "WTF?" because its just ineffable in its logical simplicity but emotional complexity...

The process is akin to upping your res so life, at first was 240p, and you accepted it as thats all there was. Then you get a blip and the data doubles. And it feels really spiff. Here is the threshold of fake enlightenment but once it gets to HD you're like "Wait a sec, where does this end?" and thus set off on a quest. After a bit you're at 8K and the simplest of things are unerringly profound in what they're telling but they were always speaking but you previously couldn't comprehend their effortless elegance. And so it continues.

Also, its nothing like the mellow fellow tripping on bliss stereotype they sell. You're simply you but refined. The other aspect is someone faking it and being performative, as far as I can tell. Never chopped a tree nor carried water in a bucket but that phrase stays on their lips along with refs from Watts, Buddha and anyone else they can recollect but, crucially, not a single original thing they've mined from their own depths.

Another tell is that after the shift you are physically lighter on your feet as the process involves excavating somatic filth which is the true barrier to enlightenment as its here you kept all the suppressed memories and events that previously made you run the treadmill/seek approval/reincarnate again etc etc for one becomes Self authoring but, whoops, that Self may not even exist! Its such a grift...

Here's Tim with the weather!

not that good at English because I'm Arab, whatever

what do you mean by Enlightement?

You mean like Buddha and this stuff

or like what U.G Krishnamorty says?

I might meet some arabian people here

they will know why

​

Beloved, ​you are constantly clinging to others. If someone is eating fried potatoes, you want fried potatoes as well.

If someone is enjoying a sweet, you want a sweet as well. If someone is playing a small whistle, you shout, 'Mother, purchase me a small whistle as well!'

​And that applies not only to kids.

​When spring arrives, you allow spring to sway your mind. When autumn arrives, you allow autumn to sway your mind. Everybody is merely waiting for something to sway their mind. Some even earn a living swaying minds, they create marketing.

​Humans adore internal turmoil.

Simply view the movie advertisements outside the picture house: nothing except internal turmoil across their faces.

As a ordinary nobody my direct realization is, Zen teaching signifies not placing yourself at the whim of internal turmoil.

In society, however, huge commotion is generated over zero.

​It aligns with being an average human: they can merely perceive through the eyes of shared foolishness.

​Being encircled by champions and gathering the bravery to act like a champion yourself, there is nothing particularly brave regarding that. A burglar states to his child, “If you do not cease immediately with your cursed truthfulness, you will never become an honorable burglar like myself. You are an embarrassment to the trade!”

​Humanity puts on a sharp expression and speaks about being ruler over the world. And simultaneously they do not even understand where to start regarding their personal frame: they view athletics on screens and justify themselves stating that everybody else performs it as well.

​We exist within collective foolishness and mistake this craziness for real living.

It is crucial that you grow clear to yourself and awaken out of this craziness. Sitting meditation signifies departing from the collective and stepping with your own two legs.

​Individually individuals remain tolerable, yet once they create factions, they begin becoming foolish.

They sink into collective foolishness. They are so eager to become foolish together that they establish organizations and contribute dues.

Sitting meditation, Zazen signifies departing from collective foolishness.

🙏

21/12/2020 01:51:09

I'm not who you think I am.

I receive massive amounts of information about myself, and the world around me, simply by changing what I choose to focus on.

I am a little bit of everything and nothing like anything.

I am one with myself, and yet I am not at all myself.

I am only that which I am able to recall and recreate.

I understand Time as a natural currency that I am able to trade for anything at all, and nothing simultaneously.

The very medium in which I exist maintains my physical nature that is of itself composed from the enveloping symphonic world of chaos.

I am forced to adapt to an environment that changes both frequently and not at all, following no imaginable pattern or schedule; perpetually and indefatigably.

Everywhere I exist, I leave a piece of myself and take with me a piece of what I experience.

In a world designed to satisfy any need that may arise, I find myself needing nothing except that which I have; yet I am never satisfied.

It was not my choice to be here, I had other dreams; yet everything just feels right, exactly the way it is, despite a myriad of attempts to alter the path in futility.

I am here, not by mistake, but rather as a direct result of calculated decisions made by forces I may never understand; yet I am unable to shake the desire to understand them.

I've experienced many existences, and they're largely the same with many drastic differences.

I've always been exactly what I am, despite changing form multiple times during my existence, corporeally molded and reshaped by my temporal transactions.

I've learned that what is important is not the journey, but the Time spent along the way; the best of which is spent appreciating my own existence.

Any advice to be a PRO

There’s a dangerous assumption running through a lot of spiritual spaces right now. Including this one.

That certain molecules can deliver what years of ordinary attention supposedly cannot. That a strong enough experience will finally dissolve the ego, open the heart, or hand over the realization that normal life keeps withholding. The language is almost always elevated: medicine, sacred journey, ego death, awareness of God.

And for a while it works.

The walls thin. The usual mental noise collapses. Something vast or empty or loving appears. People return glowing, certain that something irreversible has happened.

Then the glow fades.

Ordinary mind returns with interest. The same restlessness, the same subtle dissatisfaction, the same quiet verdict that this still isn’t it. So the next journey is booked. Or the one after that. The experiences stay vivid in memory while the actual weight of daily life remains largely untouched.

What rarely gets said out loud is how perfectly this continues the old spiritual pattern: something special must happen to you before you can be free. Only now the special event is chemical. The one who is searching does not disappear. It simply acquires better stories and a new substance or ceremony to organize its hope around.

There is a difference between a temporary loosening of the sense of self and the actual lightening of how life is carried when nothing extraordinary is happening. One can be scheduled. The other cannot.

When the afterglow disappears and the urge to go back in appears, it is worth looking cleanly at what is being chased. Another rented experience?

Another temporary holiday from the ordinary mind?

Or a quieter relationship with the life that is already here when no substance is rewriting it?

Some will insist the substances are only tools and that integration is everything. This is a fair argument in theory.

But in practice, do you also notice how often the tool remains the center of the conversation.

Dosage, intensity, the quality of the last peak, the timing of the next one. It very subtly becomes a chase for the next high.

The present moment is treated as incomplete unless it is chemically enhanced.

Getting lighter does not require chemically enhanced altered states.

It requires staying with what is already present, including the restlessness that keeps reaching for the next experience.

The substances can show you a door.

They cannot walk through it for you.

And they will , once their glow fades, only give a harder time of becoming who you intended to become by using the substance in the first place.

Final note:

I wrote this piece not as an attack, but as an offering to reflect upon. I have been in the loop of using substances to chase higher states of being myself.

So this is also a reflection I have written for myself. See it as part of the process of freeing myself from the thought I need these things to become someone else.

Life for me is in embracing it in all aspects, nowadays especially the more mundane or boring parts.

So I’ve been having this dilemma.

A lot of people who seemingly ‘master’ their bodies/minds have talked about mastering the sexual center. AKA mastering their impulses.

I have been ‘retaining’ off and on for a few years now (no ejaculation of any kind) and I do not watch corn and haven’t for years. I have also been on this sort of ‘path of enlightenment’ for a few years now and I take it seriously. My dilemma is this: Must I not have sex or masturbate in order to achieve enlightenment? Is retention the answer?

Of course I will have sex when I want children, but I’m talking about day to day life and in dating.

I am in the midst of the whole ‘retention’ community. It is very confusing. I feel unhappy without a sexual partner, but people in this community will tell you that I must turn that energy and attention towards myself. “Use your sexual energy in the gym”, stuff like that. “Have a relationship with God” or with ‘myself’ and that will be the only thing that will truly fulfil me, etc.

I just don’t know what side to pick. It feels like I’m either all in or all out. Someone suggested I ‘take control’ of the sexual urges and thoughts by masturbating only when I get the urge to, and to do it by thinking about my significant other (someone I love rather than lust). This seems like a good idea in theory. But my worry is retention. ‘Breaking’ the retention seems to hurt me. I feel so good and happy with myself and confident when I’m on long periods without relapse. When I relapse, I feel a sense of dread within the world. But am I only feeling this way because I read about it? And so now I’ve fully duped myself into believing it’s real?

Does anyone understand all of this?

Go and watch Pantheon, the animated series. It lays it all out there, perfect. Don't read anything, just dive in and see what kicks as it truly can be seen as a Litmus Test of enlightenment. Or maybe not, only you can tell! It'll definitely make you feel something but, like I said, sight unseen for best practice...

What other shows/flicks wax lyrical on this topic and what did you pick up when watching then stop to consider at depth? Tenet is an interesting example, if you know what you're seeing. As is Ferris Buellers Day Off and its occult sequel - Election for it shows the ebb and flow of incarnation.

Whats your pick and why?

Some of us watch the Watchers...