r/funny • u/Tata_Colores • 1d ago

Expecto Catronum!

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15.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

201 comments sorted by

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758

u/zionwolf24 1d ago

It's always the orange ones

25

u/Nihsvabhav 1d ago

that's tool usage, something that requires multiple braincells

like the cat recognizes the stick and is using it to poke, that's some high level shit

90

u/AmirulAshraf 1d ago

not all orange, but...

29

u/pieeatingchamp 1d ago

There’s probably an orange somewhere in the lineage

12

u/Mightbeherejsforgta 1d ago

… always an orange

1

u/overtoke 7h ago

orange cat in the woods or a man

7

u/academiac 1d ago

It's Hairy Potter

3

u/klezart 1d ago

Must be a Weasley.

2

u/Nina-Boogfilm 1d ago

One brain cell,infinite chaos

4

u/a-new-3arth 1d ago

the second tap felt like the cat knows what its doing

589

u/huhwhuh 1d ago

It's actually humping the broom.

258

u/allamaze 1d ago

Horny Potter

35

u/Leading-Point-113 1d ago

Horny Catter

14

u/m3ngnificient 1d ago

Porny hatter

4

u/MugenEXE 1d ago

Expecto catronus.

3

u/GANDORF57 1d ago

♪♫♬♪ Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Put 'em together and what have you got

Bippity-boppity-cat ♪♫♬♪

1

u/YesterdayNo9995 1d ago

“The boy who lived, come.”

1

u/bamachine 1d ago

Horny Pooter

24

u/kiwi1986 1d ago

Why can't it be both?

14

u/Nekrophis 1d ago

Me too buddy, me too

11

u/DickButtPlease 1d ago

100%. I had a cat in college named Jackie and he would spend his days banging his feather duster. Standard issue cat. Not an orange.

4

u/TopSloth 20h ago

Which is kind of ironic since witches got the flying broom mythology because they would coat a broomstick with hallucinogenic drugs and "hump" the stick bare skin since it would be absorbed through the vajayjay and they would grip IE: Fly

3

u/huhwhuh 19h ago

Sounds about right. witches were just hippies high on drugs.

7

u/FuzzyFrogFish 1d ago

He's also humping the broom whilst specifically trying to follow the female Calico, jabbing her with the long end . . . So much to unpack with that lmao

4

u/RenmazuoDX 1d ago

Hairy Poker

3

u/skorchedangel 1d ago

Harry Potter and the Humping Broomstick

2

u/l3rN 1d ago

Finally, a sequel to Harry Potter and the Vibrating Broomstick

4

u/Charleaux330 1d ago

Hes tickling himself with the broom while annoying the other cat with his massively long penis. His name is Chad.

1

u/patriciaytm 1d ago

I think he is playing with a broom.

1

u/Forsaken_Fun_2897 1d ago

Oh my god! It's you. The cat whisperer!

0

u/0ddlyC4nt3v3n 1d ago

I suspect someone attached the duster to the cat's collar

215

u/BoBear15 1d ago

"Scared yet, Potter?"

"Dude, can you please fuck off?"

47

u/BVoLatte 1d ago

"Already am"

6

u/EvolutionCreek 23h ago

"Time to explore the Chamber of Secrets!"

149

u/TicklerVikingPilot 1d ago

I didnt know Harry Potter banged his broom

64

u/Freud-Network 1d ago

Never forget, the Nimbus 2000 was a vibrator.

16

u/wusurspaghettipolicy 1d ago

Same with the AssPounder 4000

13

u/MicroGamer 1d ago

You should see what Hermione does with it.

6

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 1d ago

"Why don't witches wear panties?"

2

u/No-Lobster-5120 1d ago

Punchline?

5

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 1d ago

Helps em grip the broom 🪠

2

u/MongooseVegetable787 23h ago

from which Harry Potter book is this quote?

2

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 23h ago

Fantastic queefs and where to find them

0

u/Daniel_D_Herring 1d ago

You are right

6

u/KneticTheory 1d ago

Extended edition blu ray is wild!

21

u/DarcasticSick 1d ago

I'm horny potter

45

u/jucu94 1d ago

You know he’s trying to bang the broom right

10

u/acolombo 1d ago

Trying to bang the broom, and try to bang his buddy with the broom's handle at the same time.

24

u/Josephalan1 1d ago

Dear Lord. If it found the third brain cell, we may be doomed.

5

u/YeshuasBananaHammock 1d ago

Two brain cells fighting for 3rd place 🏆

26

u/rollopino 1d ago

No that’s Ron Weasley

35

u/Rockchagin 1d ago

More like Hairy Potter

17

u/Real_Establishment56 1d ago

Hairy Pawter?

1

u/Rockchagin 1d ago edited 1d ago

Purrrfect

1

u/Dense_Delay_2605 1d ago

it's spelled hAIrry

2

u/btrhmmtpndksnhglslg 1d ago

"You're a wizard, Hairy!"

8

u/Hephaestus_God 1d ago

My cat does this with a blanket. Just puts it in his mouth, trips all over it as it’s under him as he try’s to walk around the house, makes a crying sound, then makes biscuits on it.

Idk what he is doing.

14

u/Foooodster 1d ago

Oh you know what he's doing 😏

3

u/Hephaestus_God 1d ago

I mean he’s not humping it. Sometimes he just sits on it with it in his mouth.

I think it’s more a stress relief.

3

u/rmbarrett 1d ago

Yes. Which is why he is humping it. If it's between his legs, that's what he's doing.

4

u/Hephaestus_God 22h ago

I guess I’m not describing it right. Or really know how.

Because that’s not what it is

3

u/Late2theGame0001 22h ago

It’s just carrying a toy around that is too big. My cat does the same thing with a hair tie. I think the meowing is just saying “look what I got.”

0

u/Slobbybagel 17h ago

Sexin it UP

8

u/destruction_shine1 1d ago

Hairy pawter

6

u/ichac 1d ago

avada catavra

6

u/seraphieen 1d ago

He’s ready to cast that spell

18

u/zyyntin 1d ago

::Fry Squint:: Not sure if sin biscuits.

15

u/GameTime2325 1d ago

100% sin biscuits

5

u/No_Volume_5752 1d ago

Catty Potter

4

u/Veloreyn 1d ago

I'm not touching you...
I'm not touching you...

6

u/FoxyBastard 1d ago

"Quit it, bitch!"

"It's pronounced, Quidditch!"

5

u/skidip 1d ago

Harry catter

4

u/MikeTalonNYC 1d ago

Clearly he's cosplaying one of the Weasleys

7

u/LAMEASSNIBBQ 1d ago

Actually he tryna fuck

3

u/Darkwing_ducksauce 1d ago

When you’re trying to do sin biscuits with the dust mop and you poke your bestie in the arse

3

u/NoHorseNoMustache 1d ago

omg don't let other cats know this is a thing, they'll be able to knock your glass off of your desk from 3 feet away!

3

u/sxncharm 1d ago

this was the true ending to harry potter btw

3

u/zehamberglar 1d ago

He's not harry potter, he's jousting.

3

u/TazManiac7 1d ago

Cat jousting!

3

u/celticdude234 1d ago

My cat does this with any loose blanket or article of clothing. Nice to know he's not the only one with this insane habit 😂

4

u/KikeRiffs 1d ago

Furry Pawtter

This video so hilarious… 

5

u/lnTheGrimDarkness 1d ago

Hate to break it for you but orange cat is trying to have sex with the duster

4

u/WNJohnnyM 1d ago

Well...Hogwarts can be a lonely place sometimes. lol

2

u/Exotic-Advisor9778 1d ago

Harry Catter😅😄

2

u/No-River8803 1d ago

A blind kitty with his stick

2

u/Jabberminor 1d ago

It should be "I'm Ron Weasley", as the cat is ginger.

2

u/badbubblegum 1d ago

Baby orange feather dusters inbound

2

u/User_-_-_Name 1d ago

Thats sexual assault brotha

2

u/Responsible-Poem9375 1d ago

Abraqa da Cat abra

2

u/Accurate-Cost-8688 1d ago

The cat who lived... has come to demand treats."

2

u/Batonzilda 1d ago

Harry Pawter

2

u/Braindead_Crow 1d ago

"Yer a Horny Harry wizard Potter!"

2

u/BarAgent 22h ago

Cat uses Poke It With a Stick!

It’s super effective!

4

u/Respaced 1d ago

I want moar!

2

u/ChillingwitmyGnomies 1d ago

"It's stuck to my scrotum"

3

u/zizmor 1d ago

"You're a cat Harry" was such a low hanging caption for this but they went with "I'm Harry Potter" instead.

2

u/Fearless_Dependent29 1d ago

Orange: “now I’m the one who plays”

2

u/Shatraugh 1d ago

Its levi...ooooh shit

2

u/marmotshepard 1d ago

watch another movie

3

u/Rasberrycello 1d ago

I don't get it; the cat doesn't SEEM to be transphobic?

-1

u/coffee_cake_x 17h ago

Could have easily made any non-TERF-created witch reference. People remember that witches rode brooms before they used them in sports in the Harry Potter universe, right?

1

u/Vanille97 1d ago

wtf are those reddit subtittles:
"mhmhmhmh, gatherred in the", noone is even talking in this video

1

u/LessAdhesiveness9094 1d ago

Flyger han på en kvast eller städar han?

1

u/GorskyGriFF 1d ago

Unexpecto Castronum!

1

u/YeshuasBananaHammock 1d ago

"Youre a GOONER, Harry!"

1

u/Sweet_Ad_2708 1d ago

I am tank!

1

u/MoccaLG 1d ago

50 Coins for GRiffindor! :D

1

u/athanathios 1d ago

OMG soo so cute and lovely!

1

u/Archaeellis 1d ago

I knew crookshanks was a wizard!

1

u/BizzyM 1d ago

"Oh, so you WOULD touch me with a 10-inch pole?"

1

u/Wonderful_Audience60 1d ago

2002: a space odyssey: 2

1

u/IntelligentPin6652 1d ago

That one is such a nuts

1

u/capnscabbard 1d ago

Poor Lil orange looks like he's got a broken tail 😢

1

u/ShrimpToothpaste 1d ago

Accio kibble

1

u/born2build 1d ago

Sin-biscuitronum!

1

u/repchampion 1d ago

More like hairy pooper

1

u/jeanphiltadarone 1d ago

are those cats lesbian ?

1

u/Green_Instruction554 1d ago

My tabby stares at empty corners like she's warding off something invisible all the time. If she had a patronus it'd probably just knock over a lamp and walk away like nothing happened. Stuff like this always makes me wonder what cats actually see that we don't.

1

u/akiilu 1d ago

ginger catto and the meow-litte of the water...!!😆️️️️️️😆️️️️️️😸😸

1

u/kishenoy 1d ago

Avada Catdavara?

1

u/F---TheMods 1d ago

Cat: This is my new girlfriend

1

u/Status-Ad-8250 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/rmbarrett 1d ago

Got his bitch for a fun night out

1

u/lvlonikaa11 1d ago

Best quidditch match I’ve seen yet

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1

u/Glum_Performer9923 1d ago

I'm thinkin Catlonoscopy myself ......

1

u/NecRobin 1d ago

JK Rowling and her creative naming convention: Kathy Longtail

1

u/maffemaagen 1d ago

Hairy Pawter

1

u/COBraWorld 23h ago

"You're cat Harry"

1

u/heywoodidaho 22h ago

Tape a laser pointer to it for some ill natured frivolity.

1

u/Available_Image1812 19h ago

Bro cast the spell but forgot what it was supposed to do 💀

1

u/LargeDeborah 19h ago

He’s got a Sorcerer’s bone

1

u/abdul663629 15h ago

orange cat core

1

u/Nikky-Nami 15h ago

Meow jousting.

1

u/Critical_Charge_6958 14h ago

Hairy Pooper 😔

1

u/br1ghtSp1r1t 14h ago

I think that's a Nimbus 2000

1

u/BubblyAd4219 3h ago

You mean "harry pawwter"?👀

1

u/WSPtoboggan 3h ago

Harry Purrter

1

u/Csontigod 10m ago

Tutuu tutuu I'm hairy porter fuck yuu

1

u/WhimsySparkle_ 1d ago

Orange cats always😂

-3

u/kingpin2k 1d ago

Harry butthole pussy potter

3

u/DarreylDeCarlo 1d ago

I bet a lot of people don't get that's a reference from SOUTH PARK. Lol. That's probably why the down votes

3

u/kingpin2k 23h ago

It was worth it, thanks for getting the reference 🙂

-11

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

6

u/curtcolt95 1d ago

yeah all the 10 years olds liking a book about a magic school are definitely transphobes lmao

15

u/Emerald_8XG 1d ago edited 23h ago

what a great way to alienate the people who aren't transphobes but simply don't follow every purity test you make up. Trans people hardly get any support already, why are you making it even worse? Sometimes I despise being a part of the lgbt community, we are literally destroying ourselves from the inside. It's always "me me me, follow these very specific rules i made, if you don't you are an unredeemable bigot." and just shutting down everyone that disagrees, while being a moral hypocrite themselves (or am I meant to believe you are somehow participating in our capitalist society without funding bad people?) How utterly unproductive.

-9

u/The_Power_Of_Three 1d ago

Hidden post history, claims to be LGBT but repeats the "me me me" line from conservative propaganda?

Press X to doubt.

10

u/Emerald_8XG 1d ago edited 1d ago

made it public if it makes you happy. Just because I don't agree with everything, it doesn't make me an imposter.

4

u/Turbulent_Safety3816 1d ago

Nah you clearly are a transphobe because you liked a meme with a cat on a broomstick.

→ More replies (3)

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago edited 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/The_Power_Of_Three 1d ago

What argument, exactly? I haven't even said anything about the post itself...

8

u/datlinus 1d ago

and you are obnoxious asf

4

u/Turbulent_Safety3816 1d ago

Being this annoying is like the just stop oil protesters. Even if you have a point people will actively start to hate you and go to the other side.

3

u/LooseClaim3598 1d ago

They probably just have nostalgic feelings towards the magic story from their childhood

1

u/hery41 1d ago

you're not that important

about time you get the hint

0

u/shinibunny_ 1d ago

We clearly know who had the braincell that day

0

u/E5-4650_v2_RX570 1d ago

nein du est bin Lord Voldemort

0

u/RaphaelNunes10 1d ago

Hairy Bother

-1

u/Walterargie 1d ago

yeah, a harry potter's porn parody, jajaja

-1

u/Alan157 1d ago

Harry Pumper

-1

u/JamesLemon4 1d ago

More like Horny Potter

-3

u/kevin32 1d ago

AI. Real cats do not play with toys as if they're riding a broom, nor do they use toys to annoy other cats. r-itsallAI