r/funny • u/Richard_Cromwell • 6h ago

Local doomsday religious mailer. 😅

74 Upvotes

74% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

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22

u/Lmysic 5h ago

Two Pastors, One Chalice

3

u/Signal_Road 5h ago

Paramedic: AGAIN?!??!! Guys! Really!?!! Nope. No talking. Just get in the truck. Lay down, Chalice up.

8

u/Jesus_of_NASDAQ 5h ago

They come even quicker when husbands are on their way home.

3

u/SaintSinnerOnline 5h ago

Are you implying they aren’t fucking each other?

1

u/Tek_Freek 51m ago

Only when the husband is not coming home.

3

u/tooth-ache 5h ago

When the pandemic started, some local churches started preaching the end of days and pushed members into selling their homes asap. That happened before the housing market went through the roof. Some families ended up on streets unable to buy homes due to housing price hike. Collective consciousness and brain washing is a bitch.

4

u/Richard_Cromwell 5h ago

The answer is probably a lack of critical thinking... but why would you need to care about selling your home if the apocalypse was nigh??

1

u/tooth-ache 1h ago

To move into midland, dig a bunker and stock up with rice. Some religious sects just love to focus on doomsday and scare the shit out of those lacking critical thinking. Flat earthers!

2

u/I_am_INTJ 5h ago

Churches help the homeless. This was their way of making sure they didn't run out of people to help.

1

u/chownee 34m ago

So, what was the rationale for selling their homes? How is cash better than a house if the world is ending?

3

u/626magicgrits 5h ago

Ok..actually loled on the flip. That doesn't happen too often

5

u/AmputeeHandModel 5h ago

Cum all ye faithful.

3

u/No_Safe_6514 5h ago

A-Rod looking different today

1

u/Pretty-Balance-Sheet 5h ago

Is that a thing to brag about?

1

u/SourFix 5h ago

...and powerfully upon thee

1

u/Jazzlike_Standard416 5h ago

Seems like something Louis CK would say

1

u/turncoatmormon 4h ago

Disappointed Mary Magdalene noises

1

u/Quitcha_Bitchin 3h ago

Systematic theology? And helping people to "understand" scripture..

No good.

1

u/Tinosdoggydaddy 3h ago

Behold I come quickly, said Jesus 2,000 years ago. It’s all relative I guess.

1

u/MinnesotaHermit 2h ago

CYA spirituality

1

u/sunnyoboe 56m ago

Oh my... the jokes write themselves.

1

u/Ripper42 14m ago

me too Jesus, but you knew that