Hi all. I'm planning to come out (as both trans and gay - each will be a fun little surprise) to my mom over Thanksgiving when I see her. I know she'll accept me, but it's still a lot to process. I want to be able to tell her in person, but I also want to be empathetic to her.

So my question is: should I give into the temptation to have a grand reveal like the drama queen I am, OR should I drop the bomb like a week or so before I see her, to give her time to process and do her own research?

I've been feeling a little agoraphobic lately, and decided I needed to do something social outside of my queer bubble to get over my fear of being perceived. I went to a local community garden that I haven't been to in a long while. I have long hair, but I'm in a space right now where people can't quite place me. Some women called me "girl," some guys called me "man" and one person referred to me as "they." A couple of people seemed a little uncomfortable at my presence, but who cares?

Anyway, I struck up a conversation with two guys and one of them complemented my hair, calling it cute in a genuine manner. I smiled and said thanks. I did catch him looking at my (binded) chest for a few flashes after, but he didn't day anything or act weird. Still, I avoided them for the rest of the event just in case.

I feel like I should assume men who compliment me outside of gay settings see me as a woman. I think that dude thought I was a girl and realized his "mistake" as we talked more. Idk. He was cute, though 🥲

I've noticed that the cis guys I have gotten to meetup with from grindr are actually right around my height or a few inches shorter? I know I'm about average height for a hispanic guy and sometimes I do wish I was a little bit taller, but it was funny and affirming to notice this pattern.

i have been wanting to get grindr really badly, but i worry about not finding guys who would genuinely respect the boundary that using my front hole is out of question. i bottom, and i’m fine with like anything that doesn’t involve that in particular. ik a lot of ftm guys don’t mind or enjoy sex like that, but i can’t wait to get a vgnctomy lol

I am TIRED of these weirdos, I've had this app for a while and still haven't found or had a decent conversation with a normal person. I'm not sure if you gotta pay the subscription to talk to different people but I don't wanna pay for that.. I feel like it's pointless and I have higher priorities right now financially.

But all I get is chasers, old creepy men, classic faceless accounts, men who are far away, catfishes, extortion accounts, and "straight" men.

The main topic of their conversations will be how they wanna "breed" me, ask if i get pregnant what am i gonna do with it.. and they're gonna take care of "us" like sir i'm 19 and you're 45.... YOU DONT EVEN HAVE A CAR and you can't even host. 😂

I have my own place but I don't wanna host at mines so, I'd be more willing to go to theirs or meet somewhere else.

I'm not even looking for anything serious right now, just an FWB but if it ever happens and something else came into play I wouldn't mind.

But they're taking it too far.. I'm just venting because this is so dumb, I can't even go out and meet people in real life because of my work schedule & and I haven't been looking into any hobbies lately.

I just wish dating or hooking up wasn't so complicated.

Hey yall, I’m gonna start by saying possible trigger warning. Bottom dysphoria talk, possible internalized transphobia, Chasers

I’m sorry if I tagged post wrong! Or if anything is not allowed.

Anyhow, I’ve made posts before but I just am having a rough night… more so month… but I am 20, stealth, and to start I haven’t had the best sexual encounters and have not many good experiences when it comes to dating. Like I know im young and have time but there is still this fear that I won’t find anyone because I feel so undesirable as a man ‘cause of my lack of a penis. Like I it always seems to be the reason as to why relationships never progress pass friendships.

Then on the other side being chasers. There is this part of me that feels like the only intimacy Will be from them, I just feel like a sex object to them though and I don’t like feeling that way. Don’t feel like they’d ever like me if I actually had a functional penis. Them also not understanding when I say I don’t like using the front hole.

It’s already hard enough dating as a gay man but then throw in the trans thing and it makes it all the more difficult. It doesn’t help that I prefer cis men, so I feel like a hypocrite.

I just feel so hopeless that I’ll find my person who can love me for me and look beyond what’s in my pants.

I feel so undesirable, unattractive, and just like a failure of a man ‘cause of certain body characteristics I have that I can’t do anything about. Like i know people say you should work on yourself before dating, but you can’t magically make dysphoria go away, i can’t wake up one morning and have a penis.

And bottom surgery (meta) is out of the picture for a while ‘cause my insurance won’t cover it and I don’t have the money laying around.

I just want to be loved… I just want to find my adventure partner… I just want to have a life with someone who makes life all the better.

I’m sorry if this is too much.

I'm happily stealth at work, and not looking for advice with this question, just curious how other guys who are stealth approach the topic of questions like "how did you know you were gay?". I'm out and proud about being gay and I honestly do like talking about it just because I'm so happy to be a gay man. I'm also on the more masculine side of presentation and voice so usually people don't guess that I'm gay if I don't explicitly tell them I am. For me, I feel like being ftm doesn't particularly change how I talk about things. I still use the example of the first time I found another boy attractive in kindergarten, I usually say I just always knew I was gay, never had crushes on girls growing up, etc. I say I came out at 13 to my family, which is true to an extent but tbh I don't think I've ever really formally come out to my family as gay. They know I'm gay (I think? Maybe my extended family doesn't actually lol) but really I came out as ftm at that time. Still, I feel the basic details are similar enough that it doesn't particularly matter.

I’m polyamorous in a poly relationship with an amazing nesting partner who I love very much. He recently came out to me as asexual and said that sex is not something that they can give in the relationship. I was/am completely understanding of and fine with this! I love him for who he is and with us being poly, I can find sex with someone outside our relationship-which is exactly what I have been doing lately.

I’ve made a couple FWBS recently and it’s been fun hooking up with them. But after hooking up with a certain FWB (who I’ll call C) I realized how much I enjoyed the sex in combination with the post-sex cuddling and pillow talk. It added a lot to the enjoyment of the sex overall for me. I’ve never slept with someone who I felt emotionally connected to before C; I experienced a level of sexual intimacy I never have before with him. It was honestly really nice. I genuinely like C as a person and connect with him, which made me realize I want a sexual relationship with a romantic partner. I initially asked him out after we hooked up for the first time, but he wasn’t interested in anything deeper than what we already have going on. I was disappointed by it at first, but I’ve moved on and am good with just being friends with him!

I’ve been looking for a romantic/sexual connection and it’s been hard finding someone-most guys I’ve encountered on dating apps just want me for sex or end up not being interested in me romantically. I was supposed to go out with a guy today who I’d really been connecting with both emotionally and sexually, but he canceled as I was getting ready to head out and said he wasn’t looking for a relationship right now. I respect his decision and feelings! But I do feel really disappointed and just discouraged when it comes to dating lately. I feel so loved by my nesting partner in a way I never have anyone else. I would never leave over him being ace or make him do things he doesn’t want to do! But it is hard sometimes not being able to be sexually intimate with someone I love. I just want partner who can love me as well as-as cheesy as it sounds-make love TO me.

I’m not really sure what I want out of making this post, I’m honestly just feeling really down and needed to vent a bit.

i'm a man without the one thing that should make me a man in the vast majority of human eyes including that of my own.

i can't possibly be desirable to any man or woman, and i can't expect myself to be, because i also like dick. so i feel like a hypocrite.

i don't need advice, i know that's not what makes me a man, yada yada, im just down in the dumps bar it for some reason today.

I was going to let my crush fizzle since I had a lot going on at the beginning of the semester, but things got better and I figured I wanted to date him, so I tried to get closer to build a genuine connection and stuff.

He always talks to me so kindly and sweetly, he's funny, he's cute, he gives great hugs, and he's just so.. perfect.

I, unfortunately, took too long and was too scared to approach him, because I didn't want to ruin our friendship in case he didn't feel the same.

It's my fault, I'm not upset with him or his new partner, I genuinely wish them the best but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous and upset.

He saw me as a guy, no questions, he never made me doubt myself, there's a way he hugs and handles me that's just so delicate but idk. He's kinda touchy (not sexually) with all of his friends, so, I'm not all that special in that regard.

I'll be happy to stay his friend, I just wanted to get this off of my chest in hopes it helps kill the crush quicker so I can be normal around him. He's a wonderful friend.

I keep matching and going out with guys, and then either it goes nowhere after 1 date, or I disclose it after the first date, and then they’re not interested anymore. Many of them have been respectful but it’s still frustrating. Does anyone have any tips on this? I really don’t know what to do anymore

I already posted this on another sub dedicated to gay men in general, but i think it's better to ask it here since im a trans fude! I know this question might come often and that it can sound super weird at the same time, but I heard that taking it in the backend takes time and training. Since I like the idea of it, I wanted to know if there are efficient ways to train for it and enjoy it as a trans guy?

Thanks for reading, and I'm looking forward to reading you if you have any advice or experience to share, and have a nice day!

I ask because I had to get the morning after pill today because a condom broke (I'm on T but would rather be safe than sorry), and I've booked an appointment for a copper IUD. Was wondering what you guys use too?

Howdy, I’ll start by saying possible Trigger warning, I’ll try to keep it as minimal as possible.

So I’m 20, living in a rural town in one of the most conservative states especially when it comes to trans folk. Haven’t had a lot of friends nor do I have a lot of opportunities for friends or more.

I’ve been struggling a lot this year with learning adulting and trying to find my place in the world, but loneliness has pretty much made me miserable, I’ve focus on my self quite a bit and am hoping to find more people, friends and hopefully more but, rural town.

I hate how much I crave the sex and intimacy, even just physical touch ‘cause it’s hard wanting something that you can’t seem to find. I’m too afraid to go through with hookups on Grindr or sniffies ‘cause of past experiences and just feeling a certain way.

I hate how I can’t be able to top someone without a prosthetic, I hate how I can’t just get a normal blowjob, I hate how I can’t just be able to have sex. I hate how I have to worry about disappointing people or worry about chasers.

I hate how much I want to be loved… how much I want to be able to share some of my baking experiments with, sit under the stars next to a fire and listen to country music.

Then there’s this part of me, that blames myself for all this. I could have this, maybe I’m too picky. Maybe I’m too afraid to show the guys who I’m interested in, the part of me that I am unfortunately ashamed in, out of fear of rejection. What if I chose the wrong guy?

And honorable mention, I hate how I can’t stand to pee.

I know this is a lot, and I’m sorry if any is not allowed. I just have no one to vent to this about that would understand.

this might be a me issue bc of where i live but i swear to god cis men are not worth a single damn lol. i have the several misfortunes of not only being transgender in southeastern europe, but also mixed race. we have a very homogenous white populace with poor tourism, so many people here have never seen a black person in the flesh.

i would get blocked a lot on my first foray into the apps last year, and i found out people thought i was catfishing because i'm not white. i'm now fresh out of a breakup (long distance so i have a serious sex deficit) and trying to reboundddd, but even the guys who actually agree to meet up with me keep bitching out last minuteee. it's driving me crazy. yes i'm real, yes i'm in your city, yes i'm trying to HIT!

i used to play it super safe bc i was paranoid and wanted to stay stealth. no face on my profile but i would swap pics, and i would disclose i was trans if the guy sounded nice. didn't work. i have since accepted that being stealth is not an option for me. face pics on my profile, ftm in my bio, trans in my tribes. prognosis is still grim. i also don't send nudes that probably doesn't help LMAO

i've only managed to meet up with one guy (who i was introduced to by a friend. lmao. not even on my own merit) which was great!!! he's not even a local. and i'm also pretty sure he does not fw me that much lmao

if i was just black or just trans, i feel like i would have a better shot, but being both at the same time is quite literally like being a unicorn in this bum ass city. if the guy is chill and wants to meet up, he just never actually shows up. if he's kind of chasery and talks super fucking excited to meet me, he ghosts me. if he sounds nice and normal, he "can't today". can a man fucking commit or what

Hi, I’m a bi-romantic guy who has never kissed a guy before. I’m pretty interested in it. Any tips on how I go about finding someone to make out with? I’m thinking about going to a gay club and seeing what happens, but not sure that’s safe for the following:

If I meet someone should I disclose that I’m trans?

How do I ensure safety (don’t want to get oral STIs if the guy, let’s say gives head to others) ?