Ever since I was born, I have done everything our society expects. ticking all its checkboxes, except for getting married and having kids. I am 35 years old male. One thing I've realized is that we are all just running without purpose. Aside from governments and corporations, long after independence, we are still struggling with basic facilities, and in future they won't care about us.

I truly believe that "active euthanasia" should be legal. Since no one asks for this life, at least the government or some NGOs should sponsor, organize, and legalize it. Deep down, I don't want to run in the rat race, chase materialistic things, or care about false pride. To be clear, I am not negative or depressed, nor do I have su*cidal tendencies. All I'm saying is that I feel I have observed and experienced everything I need to, and I just want to exit peacefully rather than pay taxes for the rest of my life, die of a disease, or become dependent on others while medical institutions drain my savings. I support antinatalism and a minimalist lifestyle. As Buddha and awaken people said, 'Life is suffering'. Those who want to play this russian roulette please let them play, for people like me should have the facilities for departure.

I live in a rented room in Gurgaon, Haryana, with my family. Sometimes, when I look at myself and think about the person I have become, I feel that I am nothing more than a mediocre guy. I am not good at studies, mathematics, sports, singing, or dancing. I am not good socially either. I am fucking introverted, and there are times when I feel as though I have somehow been left behind by the rest of the world.

Right now, I am doing a small job in an MNC, a BPO job, earning hardly ₹25,000 per month. I have a BCA degree, and yet I am still stuck in this job, almost three years now. I want to get a better job. I want to earn well. I want to live a good life. But nothing seems to happen.

I don't have a father, nor do I have any relatives to depend on. There is only me, my mother, and my brother. And perhaps this is what frightens me the most: the knowledge that life will not wait for me to become capable, confident, or ready. It will keep moving, whether I am prepared for it or not.

I always think big. I imagine a better future, a better version of myself, a life in which I am no longer struggling over the same things. But when it comes to doing something about it, I do almost nothing. And when I do try, when I put in hard work, I cannot see any improvement. Then I begin to doubt myself. I wonder whether I am simply incapable, whether there is something missing in me that other people seem to possess naturally.

I thought going to the gym and building muscles would be one of the things that could change me. I thought that if I worked hard enough, at least my body would improve, and perhaps, along with it, my confidence would grow. But after going to the gym for one year, I still cannot see much improvement. Even there, where I expected to find some evidence that my efforts mattered, I feel disappointed.

I have a degree, but I cannot seem to build the career I want. I work, but I hardly earn enough to feel secure about the future. I try, but I cannot see the results I expect. And the more I think about all this, the more I become trapped inside my own thoughts.

There is something else, too, something that frightens me and makes me feel even smaller in front of other people. I think I have some disease or something. My hands, head, and legs shake when I am in public. My nervousness becomes visible on my face. Even when I may want to appear normal, calm, and confident, my body seems to betray me. I do not know what is happening to me, and not knowing makes me even more nervous.

Now I am tense. I am stressed. I keep thinking about the future, about what will happen to me, how I will live well, how I will find a good-paying job, and how long I can continue living like this.

Sometimes I feel as though I am wasting my life. I see the person I want to become, and then I look at the person I am today. The distance between them feels enormous. I think about changing my life, but the thought of everything I must change becomes so heavy that I do not know where to begin.

I know nobody is going to come and save me. Nobody is going to appear suddenly and solve my problems. Nobody is going to build my future for me. I understand this. I am not waiting for a hero.

And yet, knowing all this does not make me feel stronger. It only makes me feel the weight of my situation more clearly.

I am writing all this here. I do not know what I expect in return. Maybe I simply needed to put these thoughts somewhere outside my own head, because carrying them alone has become too exhausting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FpsW6DZ7HA

India is a country characterized as a high power distance culture. Which means - people higher on the power hierarchy feel comfortable abusing their power on people lower in the hierarchy. And people lower in the hierarchy feel the need to accept the abuse of the power without resisting.

It's no wonder our population is seen as generally docile (in both good and bad ways) by the rest of the world and in international workspaces. We are brought up to blindly believe and unconditionally respect elders and people higher-up in status and position; and follow whatever they say - whether it's based on logic or not.

Individuality is lost, collective harmony is prioritized. Any resistance to any tradition, custom, belief system by a young person - a teenager or even a child - in a family is batted down with "oh you don't know what you're talking about" - there's no logical basis to blind faith whatsoever.

By doing so, Gen-X has created a political time bomb. By learning themselves and teaching younger generations to not question power, they have given this ruling party a free chit to do whatever they deem appropriate even if it is unconstitutional. They blindly believe stories and labels propagated with wide loopholes by the ruling party, that anyone who doesn't bend over and doesn't accept what they're being fed without basic fact-checking is anti-national, an enemy to the nation, foreign-funded, or worse - a "nuisance".

They fail to see the wrongdoings of the members of their ideology and their party - whatever these goons deem appropriate is ALWAYS right. Their party has become inseparable with the country. Law is replaced by subjective feelings and the objective Constitution is almost forgotten ❤️ So convenient, certainly helps the pot-bellied older generations to sleep so peacefully at night ❤️

1) Fellow citizens (who are part of a great, culture-saving Hindutva ideology apparently) physically harassing a little girl? With no extra powers bestowed upon them by the Constitution? "So what if the Constitution has laws around physical abuse? We can't question the government, why was she there to create a nuisance?"

2) A historic protest site being denotified? "This isn't a blow to democracy, why bother our 12-year old government? They're just innocent babies who can't speak beyond googoogaagaa"

3) Absolutely no dialogue between the party representative and the protestors needs? Absolutely no dialogue between the party representative and the CEC who has faced (and evaded) many formal questions and interrogations? "It's okay, they know what they're doing. The party voted in by the people need not speak to the people - ever!"

4) Delhi police not following their SoPs for conduct? Detaining citizens by the thousands? Beating people in custody? "IDC if it is against the Constitution or the rulings of our many courts! WE COME FROM A GENERATION WHERE WE CELEBRATE POLICE 'ENCOUNTERS'! A GENERATION WHERE POLICE PARADE ALLEGED PERPETRATORS WITH BROKEN LIMBS!!! THIS IS WHAT WE CALL JUSTICE"

The Constitution, which was given to us by the greats of our land - our freedom fighters, both seem like fable stories now. The former can be infringed upon freely - and amendments with caveats can be made discreetly; while the latter are just highlight stories - their true legacy, thoughts, and works are buried deep under.

You could have raised generations with freedom fighters as bravery role models, as models to follow to question blind faith, question bend-over to power, and resist the power itself, to learn about their ideologies and not reduce the greats to stories and closing the book; but you chose..whatever this is. You praise and idolize Bhagat Singh for his highlight stories while he would absolutely hate your guts for being against everything he preached.

I understand psychology research states that belief systems and personalities harden over time and get harder to change after a certain age - but if you, being a whole grown adult, cannot learn to question the paradigm and give logic to your thoughts, please step aside.

Be shocked by the CJP, at Gen-Z's slogans, at Gen-Z being rude to elders and to people in power, but just step aside.