My aunt and her ex are like this. They had two kids. Best friends. Like legitimately BEST friends. They split. She remarried and had another kid. He also remarried. They are still best friends and have raised their kids and family's together. They travel together, moved close together. Everything. They are serious goals. 50+ years of this đ
The real heroes are the other spouses. I donât think it would be ideal for your partner to be besties with their ex, even if there wasnât a chance of them getting back together.. that original history never goes away.
Idk man, at a point the "confidence" talked about in these kinds of circles comes off more as lacking a spine and putting up with bullshit
Or just general apathy to the whole thing. True love is rare, but does not die easily and getting jealous over things that challenge it is a very real human response to things. The toxicity is acting like that is toxic, or being unwilling to let a bad relationship go
Our opinions differ. Getting jealous as you say, is a very real human response. And as you may be aware, humans are flawed, therefore something thatâs natural isnât always the healthiest.
I donât understand what you mean by âlacking a spine and putting up with bullshitâ. Being best friends with your ex is neither bullshit nor a reason to make someone lack spine.
My opinion is that this is fundamentally unhealthy for yourself. If kids are in the picture, you have to do what you have to do, but pretending to be best friends with someone you have history with is a recipe for disaster no matter how often we downplay it nowadays due to commonality.
If no kids are in the picture, there is 0 reason for this. It is best for everyone involved to just move on.
I also don't think every human emotion is flawed. I think a sense of betrayal being felt in this situation is not only human, but correct.
Doesnt mean either party is evil, but its still true. Better to leave it all behind and acknolwedge that either:
A) You left them, and respect them enough to stay out of their business after breaking up (which is a big deal, not some casual shit if you loved eachother)
B) They left you, and you respect your own well being enough to not involve people in your life who leave you behind
You would have way fewer sad people pining over lost loves, and finding better ones that won't fizzle out instead, if culture lived by this principle
I just donât see it the same way. I canât relate to you when you say âpretendingâ or âdownplayâ. Iâm best friends with my ex and there are no issues or drama. Feeling betrayed by something so small sounds alien to me. Since our views couldnât be further apart, I donât see a reason to keep discussing it, so bye and have a good day.
If it was a small thing to break up, you didnt love eachother or love was 1 sided.
Ive been happily married to the best woman I know for 5yrs
I know that if I was to leave my wife, this would devastate her and she wouldn't let me be welcome just hanging around all the time. It would be a slap to her face.
She knows I feel similarly.
Leaving a failed relationship is the respectful thing both to yourself and them. Hanging around only builds resentment if you actually loved eachother. Casual flings are different, as no love existed in the first place and nothing real was lost besides booty/dick access
lol, your wife is cheating on you. Sheâs absolutely going to leave you for her boss or your brother, because sheâs realized sheâs married to someone with the emotional maturity of a toddler.
I think the reason for the breakup can be pretty important here. I broke up with someone I had been with for nearly 10 years not too long ago. We were drifting apart, because well, you change in 10 years. Both of us had.
We still liked each other as persons though. And that made it easy to transition from partners to good friends. I'm not saying that there were no complicated feelings going on, there were absolutely some early on after the breakup, but we both felt that the love had died, but the respect for each other had not.
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u/Kyrrs 5d ago
My aunt and her ex are like this. They had two kids. Best friends. Like legitimately BEST friends. They split. She remarried and had another kid. He also remarried. They are still best friends and have raised their kids and family's together. They travel together, moved close together. Everything. They are serious goals. 50+ years of this đ