r/interesting • u/papapuropoyrik • 5d ago
MISC. Tobey Maguire posing as Spider-Man while officiating his ex-wife's wedding
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u/LastOfLateBrakers 5d ago
Apparently, despite splitting, they have an incredibly healthy relationship as friends and parents to their two kids. I guess romance had run its course between them but no love was lost.
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u/whirdin 5d ago
So many people dunk on this, but we don't know their situation or motivations. It's awesome when people can be friends with their ex (especially when they have kids together) rather than be salty and toxic. Idk if there is more to it, I know nothing about their personal lives.
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u/Bubthick 5d ago
Him being there and being a nice person to the newly wed is probably very healthy for their kids.
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u/whirdin 5d ago
For real, that looks like such an awesome experience for the kids.
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u/Top-Candidate-9992 5d ago
Second this. My ex husband was a terrible husband. Now he and his wife are my family and best friends. And they treat the child I had later like part of their family just the same as the child he and I share. It's become one of the best and most supportive relationships in my life.
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u/No_Sense_7316 5d ago
That's really awesome. Good for the kids and hats off to the both of you guys!
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u/JodoKast87 2d ago
This is so inspirational! My question is this as I am going through a divorce right now and just can not fathom a happy relationship between me and my soon to be ex-wife: Did it matter how it ended?
Was there cheating? How ugly did it get? Or did time and distance cure the anger and bitterness and allow the two of you to reconnect in a positive way?
My wife wanted us to be able to be friends still after our divorce to which I laughed at originally, but did wind up giving it a try, but then the guy that was “just a friend” wound up not being just a friend and we are months away from the divorce being finalized and they are in a full blown relationship already! We have two kids and want to co-parent, but I have no idea how to be anything more than amicable toward her. I’m not strong enough to watch her do this and be happy for her.
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u/hagbardyellowceline 1d ago
A breakup always come with a lot of complex emotions and by your description you've not fully let go of things either. That is, in my experience, one of the keys to a healthy breakup and remaining friends, it's accepting that the person is no longer "yours", or so to speak. Your wife sounds like she's fully accepted that things are over and has mentally moved on. Everyone does that at a different pace and how things end is, I believe, really the key.
Soon 2 years ago I ended a nearly 10 year long relationship. It wasn't an explosive breakup, and I think that helped a lot. You change in 10 years, and I think we both saw that we were starting to pull in different directions, and as a result we had a lot of unnecessary conflicts. And the thing is, neither of us were really "wrong", we just wanted different things, and our goals in our lives were no longer compatible. In the moment it sucked, and finally we had a big talk about how things were not working and decided to go our separate ways. A month or so later we started to talk a bit, and it was tense at first, but we did not hate each other, and so over time talk became more natural. And now we're talking on a regular basis, hanging out on occasion and enjoying life as good friends.
That is at least my story for how I remained friends with my ex, but your situation & feelings are not identical to mine, and if you can handle being friends with your ex is really up to you. It's important to not be jealous if things go well for them and they find a new partner, have kids and so on.
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u/query198 1d ago
But how do you not feel jealous of another person living your dream? How do you get over the feeling of them leaving you - which means you weren’t good enough for them? It’s only been 10 days to my breakup where I actually begged him to stay but his feelings had “plateaued.” I don’t even know what answers I’m looking for. I can’t fathom being friends (he wanted to).
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u/hagbardyellowceline 1d ago
If you still harbour very strong feelings for the other person then it's going to be a lot more complicated to become friends with them.
A few things to keep in mind though:
If they leave you it means you were not the right person for them, not that you were not good enough. Very different things, though when you're full of grief that isn't such an easy thing to differentiate between. If your ex still want to be your friend that means that they still value you.
You're 10 days off from your breakup. Your mind is racing, you probably don't quite know your own feelings, that's natural. It's easy to blame yourself in this instance, but relationships often end without it being anyone's fault.
If you keep blaming yourself and feeling like it was your fault that you broke up you'll never heal. Give yourself some time, but look forward, don't focus on "what could have been" (though given that it was just 10 days ago that your breakup happened, that isn't going to be easy).
A rule I've given myself for my exes, which helped me at the very least is to both remember why I got together with them, and why things ended. The former helps me remember that they're still good people (rather than play the blame game), the later helps me remember that we were just not meant for each other and that I should not cling to any feelings I once had for them.
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u/query198 1d ago
Thank you for the perspectives. The intense pain in my heart right now won’t let me forgive myself for not being the right person for him, but maybe in a few days I will have dried my tear ducts and will have to start working towards healing.
I can see value in your rule - thank you so much for that - I’ll keep it in mind for later. I hope to really grow after this and become a better person, whether or not I find love again.→ More replies (1)3
u/JodoKast87 1d ago
I was here only a couple months ago!!! And now… it’s only mildly better. Just being honest. Sometimes healing takes a long time and I am impatient and want to heal and be over her now. I recognize it’s over. I recognize that she carries at least half the blame when, at first, I shouldered around 90% of it. I also know that, to a lot of women, I am quite the catch! Family man who values spending time and raising kids, stayed at home with them for 10 years while my wife pursued her career, learned to become quite the chef and love making people food as well as using my espresso machine to make yummy lattes and cappuccinos, and am musically gifted and play the piano and sing! I’m sure that you have tons to offer that would attract many guys!
But right now, we both need to heal and grow. I’m having the hardest time letting go and that’s stunting my healing. I’ve definitely grown a lot due to my striving to “win her back” I poured myself into all the ways I failed her and learned how to be a better partner which will serve me well in future relationships. Part of the bitterness I carry is that I FEEL like I never got the chance to fight for our marriage. In reality, there were tons of chances for me to see and recognize all the ways I was hurting my spouse and choose to make a change. I ignored them and thought “things are fine”.
I hate it, but divorce can be a big opportunity to grow for people if they are willing to look honestly at themselves and pursue change. It just sucks that it so often takes drastic life events for major change to happen. I believe I could have done it without divorce looming, but my wife didn’t think so. Yet she mentions how she sees the change in me now, but she’s been checked out for so long that it doesn’t seem to create any longing for any reconnection.
Get in to counseling or therapy. It will do wonders for your mental state and help you identify areas for you to grow and work on yourself so that you aren’t so stuck despairing about what you “lost”. There is hope for you! You have value! You deserve to be loved! If you can learn to look with optimism to the future, then the best of life is yet to come! Dwelling on the past is what will prevent that.
Hang in there!
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u/query198 1d ago
Thank you, kind stranger. It’s silly to compare but you seem to be going through a worse struggle and putting up such a brave face! I cannot even begin to imagine the shock and pain of a divorce.
I guess you are right about there being signs that we could have worked on but in the moment it just felt like “there’s time” - what a falsely reassuring thought! Late realisations is all I’ve got. It’s all gloom and doom for me right now and I’m not sure what a few more weeks or months will do but I shall hold on to the hope that I will heal. I will consider therapy soon if I keep spiralling into negative thoughts and dragging down my self worth.
Wishing you healthy healing and a wonderful life ahead.
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u/whirdin 1d ago
Life isn't a dream, it's living. They aren't living your dream, but rather you are stuck dreaming of a life with them. Your dreams of that will fade, but only if you use this opportunity to grow and see your potential to be yourself. Look ahead rather in the rearview mirror or daydreaming of them. You need to live your own life. It hurts that they left, it can leave a nasty hole; but it seems like you were relying on your partner to complete you, to make you feel good enough for them/you/anything. You put far too much emotional weight on "being good enough", but sometimes people just drift apart. Idk, you both probably made mistakes, but this isn't about perfection which is impossible. They don't hate you, they just don't feel a romantic connection anymore which isn't neccesarily anyone's fault. Breaking up doesn't automatically mean someone did something wrong. If you hate the idea of being friends with him, then don't be friends, but don't use that as a coping mechanism for secretly dreaming of them or being jealous of their happiness in life.
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u/NeatFool 5d ago
Why was he a bad husband ?
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u/Top-Candidate-9992 5d ago
Partially just the fact he wasn't quite ready to grow up. A lot of angry outbursts, a lot of leaving the parenting and things to me, disregarding the feelings of others, etc.
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u/lukibunny 5d ago
I assume he grew up and is different now. You ever get resentful that he wasn’t like this when you were together?
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u/Top-Candidate-9992 5d ago
Exactly right. I don't, but mostly because we were very young and I was extremely depressed and not making the best decisions for myself, hadn't learned quite a few things about myself until that experience. And we have such a good relationship now that it's so much better than any romantic relationship for me. AND his new wife is one of my absolute best friends.
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u/LeastAd6767 4d ago
This somehow turned wholesome. Im happy for u guys . Same here. My current wife semi seldomly do ask my ex for their childs pic. Me myself also kept in touch with my previous best friend, who is now my ex's husband.
Seperated because its not meant to be. And genuinely happy with each others partners and the fact we try not to make it weird with each others kids
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u/Shiva- 5d ago
No. Because things happen for a reason.
I mean that sounds like some weird church speak, but it's not like that.
It means sometimes we need those things to make us learn. We need those feelings. We need those losses. They make us better people. It's how we learn and grow.
Also, not to gloss over it... but it doesn't mean /u/Top-Candidate-9992 was a perfect angel either. I am sure she also became a better person after having to deal with her ex.
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u/Top-Candidate-9992 5d ago
💯. We both learned a lot through the experience and the fallout afterwards, and became closer friends because of how different we both came out of it.
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u/crimsonnjade 4d ago
I'm friends with my ex and I get so many weird looks and I have to explain why I'm still friends with my ex all the time. It's exhausting. Why is it more normal to be toxic? Just because most of the world lacks the emotional maturity to split up peacefully, why should I? He was my best friend for 13 years in the relationship and continues to be after the relationship...
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u/AUnknownVariable 3d ago
I think stuff like that points to the emotional immaturity that a LOT of people have when it comes to relationships. I think its a genuine insane amount.
Its situational of course, but I don't think they can even see that. It's just that any situation relating to it is bad, red flag, etc.
There's layers to it, but its always bad imo.
The worst of it starting at people that don't allow their partners to be friends with anyone of the opposite sex imo.
I could ramble about this shit for so long so imma stop myself right now
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u/whirdin 4d ago
Ugh that sounds exhausting.
People generally like polarizing everything in terms that doesn't require emotional intelligence:
- dating. You either go the expected path of dating, moving in together, and marry; or you split up and never talk to them again. People even find it weird when a couple just stays together unmarried for decades, as it doesn't follow the formula. I've seen people who disrespect your path while they respect somebody else who cheats and has 4 divorces because they still follow the formula.
- gender. Only two, and each have clearly defined roles in society, including very specific things like clothes, haircuts, colors, jobs, hobbies, rights, etc.
- politics. Candidates in the middle can never gain any traction, as supporters want party colors in one direction.
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u/Savengillier 5d ago
I’ve seen a few relationships that just need to end / change like this. Holding on when it’s not worth it can cause way more damage than an amicable divorce.
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u/whirdin 5d ago
Sometimes we change and no longer vibe together, it doesn't mean we no longer love/like them to some degree. They all look so happy in the pics, good for them! Dragging out something that isn't working just turns abrasive, as are many of the people commenting nasty stuff while stuck in a dead bedroom that they loathe.
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u/Legitimate_Plate85 3d ago
The only people who dunk on something like that either have no relationships to speak of, or their relationships have become or ended as toxic messes so they cant even fathom others not being like themselves.
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u/WalkAffectionate2683 5d ago
My best friend is my ex.
She is just so fun, so when she quit me (yup) we stayed friends, I was the one finding someone faster and she was at my wedding.
She is so fun even my wife likes her.
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5d ago edited 5d ago
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u/DiscoNude 5d ago
It’s a sad thing when romance leaves a relationship. But also natural. If either of you desires romance, and recognizes it’s no longer with each other, you deserve the happiness of finding another. As for the examples above, you can still keep the friendship, and find another partner who can love you romantically. I’m both surprised and encouraged to see so many people commenting they’ve found just that.
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u/whirdin 5d ago
I really love that. Haters gonna hate, as they can only imagine hating their exes.
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u/allsilentqs 5d ago
Great attitude! I am good friends with a few exes and my husband is the same. I was “best lady” at my exes wedding to his wife (who I also became good friends with). And I organised a great bachelor party for him!
Romances can run their courses and sometimes no one in the villain. No point losing quality people in your life.
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u/Bruvvimir 5d ago
Really curious about the psyche of someone who dunks on being healthy and not toxic.
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u/JudoCinder 5d ago
It’s likely just jealousy to an extent. It’s easier to take your own feelings and emotions about your life, and then direct them towards celebrities who you can easily dehumanize
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u/BarryTice 5d ago
Twenty-odd years back my wife and I wanted to move and I had gotten verbal permission to start working from home, but the paperwork hadn't gone through yet. We got a full-price offer on our house if we could be out in a week, so all our stuff went into storage, she and my stepson moved in with her sister in the city we were moving to, and I moved in with her ex-husband (whom I call my "ex-husband-in-law"), who lived in the city we were moving away from (and not because he was there). I stayed at his place for two or three weeks while corporate stalled on me remote working.
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u/ColoradoMtnDude 5d ago
My ex-wife and I married in the military (both of us active duty); she was 20 and I was 19. I was an awful husband. In my defense I suffered serious abuse and neglect as a child. She had as well and her mother suffered from pretty serious undiagnosed schizophrenia and had been for years before CPS had stepped in. She had no real family. We divorced after less than 3 years. She’s now 50 and I’m 49. We have been friends this whole time and my family on my father’s side (my non-abusing family) has unofficially adopted her. My father treats her like his own daughter and they regularly hang out. She is now essentially my sister. She remarried 10 years ago and I was her Man of Honor for the ceremony. So, although I was a terrible husband to her, I ended up bringing her to Colorado and giving her a family and a place to be loved and call home. Doesn’t exactly make up for my poor behavior but I have tried to be a better person because of her and be good to people.
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u/AmenoFPS 4d ago
One of the most important people outside of my family is an ex. We're close as hell, we trust each other endlessly, shit just didn't work cause life went in different directions, we both moved on, she introduced me to my current partner. Zero animosity at all
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u/Substantial_Bet_6766 5d ago
This can only be possible if you have kids involved. Or cats. I am friendly with my ex because I love our cat that we had while being together. Lol
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u/Hephaistos_Invictus 5d ago
It's also incredibly weird to dunk on such a thing? Like, "Oh no, they are best friends with a healthy relatioship, what a bunch of losers!" Like what?! As if that's a bad thing xD
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u/whirdin 5d ago
It's just something uncommon, specifically against the mainstream patriarchial purity mindset. When I first saw this post, there were only a couple positive comments and a handful of cuck jokes. It says so much about a person thay they can't imagine people being happy in these alternative situations (just being friends with an ex), and resort to shallow kink shaming (of which this isn't even that kink behavior anyway).
People love to focus on what others are doing, to point out differences but exaggerate them as something negative. We see that with tabloid magazines and paparazzi, of which we can't seem to stop our culture from giving people full time careers dunking on people's arbitrary differences.
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u/Ditchdigger456 5d ago
My stepmom’s ex husband and my dad used to play video games together and he used to take me to play airsoft and stuff, he was kinda like an uncle to me lol
He and my stepmom just weren’t compatible, they just had a kid before they realized it, but they were always friendly and there were never any issues.
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u/dontfuckwmelwillcry 4d ago
I'm currently living with my ex from a while back and her partner lol he him and I are at the bar having a beer right now!
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u/tiredhobbit78 4d ago
So many redditors say it's a red flag to be friends with an ex and I'm like...no it's literally the opposite. It means you're not so toxic that people cut you out. The people who have seen you at your worst still want to be around you. It's a good thing.
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u/username_unnamed 4d ago
There's definitely variables in there rather than an absolute answer
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u/goliathfasa 5d ago
Reddit. I would’ve been toxic! How dare they aren’t! How DAAAAAARE they!!!!
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u/Duel_Option 5d ago
It’s almost like adults can realize their marriage isn’t working, separate, continue to want the best for each other and be enthusiastic for them to find someone they love and want to marry.
All while being good parents for their children.
Spiderman poses and people smiling at a wedding…OH THE HUMANITY!
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u/justtolearnsomething 1d ago
Honestly it’s incredibly nice to see from someone who never had good co parents. They are able to know they have differences and still get along (if not for their kids). It’s sweet to see exs be happy and not in competition
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u/SquidTheRidiculous 23h ago
Sometimes people don't work as romantic partners, but can still get along just fine as coparents. It's only a bad thing if you let egoes get in the way
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u/Kyrrs 5d ago
My aunt and her ex are like this. They had two kids. Best friends. Like legitimately BEST friends. They split. She remarried and had another kid. He also remarried. They are still best friends and have raised their kids and family's together. They travel together, moved close together. Everything. They are serious goals. 50+ years of this 💕
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u/FredrictonOwl 5d ago
The real heroes are the other spouses. I don’t think it would be ideal for your partner to be besties with their ex, even if there wasn’t a chance of them getting back together.. that original history never goes away.
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u/shenanigans2day 5d ago
Honestly wish more people operated like this, just because romantic love died doesn’t mean you have to become mortal enemies .
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u/Duel_Option 5d ago
My parents divorced when I was 11
My dad passed away two years ago at age 63, the last 8 of which we didn’t speak because I had been listening to him lie and blame his failures in life on her for 40+ years and was so sick of it I told him to stop it or don’t call me
If he had even the smallest amount of humility and grace shown here myself and my brothers would’ve been so much better off.
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u/ThyNynax 5d ago
The problem is that it’s rarely a mutual split. Like, learning your partner’s romantic love died by discovering they’ve been cheating on you for months isn’t going to have a happy ending where you support the new relationship.
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u/BrockStar92 5d ago
Far more relationships fall apart for reasons other than cheating than ones that cheating causes.
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u/shenanigans2day 5d ago
Last I read, number 1 killer of relationships is financial issues (but this was a long time ago so idk how accurate it is today).
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u/Rhewin 5d ago
That's how me and my ex are. Basically still do everything together. Love each other, just not romantically. We got married way too young, but we're still family.
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u/shenanigans2day 5d ago edited 4d ago
Kinda similar, no romance withh ex we had an insane amount of issues and bad blood just kinda like besties lol
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u/Deltamon 5d ago edited 5d ago
It's crazy how many people want to completely cut ties with people they were really good friends with before just because they shared the bed for couple years.
You can still be really good friends even if you lose the romantic part, also when the romance is not working equally many people are afraid of moving away from it and try to forcefully stay in relationship even if it's obviously not working.
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u/Frodo34x 5d ago
The interesting flip side to this is that people also view the idea of cutting ties with (or otherwise moving on from) really good friends who you didn’t share a bed with as abhorrent.
It’s like, romantic relationships must end in a complete separation and platonic relationships must last forever
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u/Gimetulkathmir 5d ago
Part of the issue is the only time you hear about couples breaking up it's always bad. Abuse, cheating, etc. Amicable break-ups don't get attention.
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u/Dev559 5d ago
Liiiiiiterally me and my ex wife. She's the best person I know. She's just not the best person for me.
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u/blackpeppersnakes 5d ago
Yea, this isn't an easy thing to do without putting in a ton of work. I respect the humility and emotional maturity, all around
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u/MrCookieHUN 5d ago
The more I see of Tobey, the more of a chill and good dude he seems like. Props to both of them on being such good terms, and it's nice that their kids also see good/healthy examples.
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u/MasterAnnatar 5d ago
I'm still incredibly close friends with one of my exes. There was never any grand blow up in our relationship. There were frustrations about compatibility, but those resulted in us just sitting down and having a "we still care about each other but are clearly not romantically compatible, the best thing we can do is go back to being only friends."
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u/lyncati 5d ago edited 5d ago
This was basically my parents until my stepmom came into the equation. We went from true co parenting where I'd still have family dinners where both sides participated, including grandparents (so basically I never wanted my parents to get back together as life was less stressful and everyone got along), to my stepmom destroying everything because she projected her cheating ex husband who, when infidelity was discovered he said "don't make me choose" (spoiler; she did and he chose the other woman. She is actually lovely and I've had nothing but positive interactions with her).
I guess because my parents still got along, it meant they were destined to get back together in my stepmoms eyes. The reality is, my mother had been dating her eventual husband and they got engaged about the time my dad started dating my stepmom, so my stepmother's belief of my parents getting back together had no validity to it.
I now have C-PTSD from having to grow up in that environment my stepmother created (and let's be honest here, my dad also enabled and I am estranged from him now due to his enabling and never admitting he let her abuse me for years and he will take steps to not enable it in the future).
Edit: Point being, I love seeing parents like this and this makes me respect both parents and the new partner coming into the family. It takes a lot of maturity to be ok with all of this; I say this as a child from a divorce and as a former therapist who specialized in children/adolescents now due to what I experienced as a child/teen.
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u/kufikiri 5d ago
No love was lost actually means something entirely different. I understand your point, however.
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u/SpamLandy 5d ago
As someone who is best friends with my ex husband, reading these comments is pretty entertaining. We already know that everyone thinks we’re weird for choosing to do that but it’s fun to see which parts of it seem to make different people anxious.
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u/PoorMansCornCob 5d ago
As a child who went through a traumatic divorce I wish more people could learn to coparent like this. At one point you liked each other and unless something really awful took place learn to forgive and appreciate the person for who they are now.
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u/Positive_Fondant8479 5d ago
It's a bit weird but it's a whole lot healthier then people who get toxic and try to weaponise their children against their ex.
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u/BeastieDogs 5d ago
this is weird in a really good way to be honest
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u/tke377 5d ago
It’s only weird because sadly this isn’t the norm
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u/Sprig3 5d ago
I dunno, there's getting along, but the officiating the wedding part is ... a lot.
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u/Positive_Fondant8479 5d ago
Yeah. Beats misery and bitter arguments by a long way.
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u/dennjudhdddvfse 5d ago
If you think about it their relationship has to be really good for her to feel its appropraite to ask him to do it.
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u/PseudoMeatPopsicle 5d ago
My high school girlfriend officiated my wedding.
A decade after we’d lost touch, in a “small world” moment, it turned out that I had started dating her college roommate. We all reconnected over that and became friends again.
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u/Scribblehamzter 5d ago
To me it's weird that so many people on here think it's weird.
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u/Drew602 5d ago
Its objectively weird. How many weddings have you been to where an ex is officiating the wedding?
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5d ago
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u/GuildCarver 5d ago
So we're just in a variant universe neat. Hope my mutant powers kick in soon.
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u/Almost_human-ish 5d ago
The amount of people not digging this situation is kinda weird to me tbh.
I split up with my wife very acromoniously like 13 years ago. We agreed to be adults about it for our then young kids sake, and it mostly worked.
The kids are all grown up and moved out, but we still see each other regularly and help the other one out with stuff like DIY projects, dogsitting, or lifts etc if needed.
I married her because I loved her and was madly in love with her.
I still love her as a person, and probably always will, but I'm not in love with her in the slightest (that ship sailed a long time ago), we were friends before we got together, and that hasn't changed just because we did. I genuinely wish all the best in the world for her, but am also glad I can just go home to my own space if/when things get squirrelly as they do in life with any friend.
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u/AHornyRubberDucky 5d ago
My dad and mom also split up when i was young, and they still help eachother with things.
Recently my dad's best friend got diagnosed with brain tumour and got euthanisa last week. My dad was having a really hard time sending a message to his friends widow and and my mom helped him write it.
Just like you said they love eachother as a person but that's it.
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u/PettyWitch 5d ago
Kindly, I think you meant “harmoniously”.
“Acrimoniously” means filled with resentment and hostility; the opposite of what you intended :)
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u/Almost_human-ish 5d ago
Thank you I appreciate your input, genuinely so, but I did mean acromoniously (even if I did misspell it).
Things were very much difficult at first, but we worked on that aspect for the kids, there were whole weeks where didn't interact at all to avoid unpleasant situations, but I guess mellowed over time I guess.
And tbh staying mad at someone forever just seems like hard work, and I'm lazy so....
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u/PettyWitch 5d ago
Ahh then I take back what I said :) I’m glad you repaired your relationship with your ex wife and now are on good terms
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u/Clearedthetan 5d ago
Not necessarily - he could be suggesting that they had a nasty split, but over time their relationship developed as friends.
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u/I_lenny_face_you 5d ago
There could be parallel universes in which they split harmoniously, ceremoniously, parsimoniously, and who knows what other ways.
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u/redlord990 3d ago
People equate being mature, understanding and kind to being a “cuck”. The rapid rise in jealousy/possessive relationship culture the last few years is terrifying.
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u/bafadam 5d ago
I’m in the same situation. My ex wife and I divorced almost a decade ago. She’s a lawyer and handled all the paperwork. We had split finances. It was cheap and easy.
We talk every day. She’s still awesome and I’ll always love her, but neither of us want to be married to each other.
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u/JBRifles 5d ago
One of my neighbors is a stepdad and I see the kids real dad at all school functions along with my neighbor, and one day his wife was talking and I found out that her ex-husband is the one that got her current husband his job, the two of them sit like two desks down from each other at their office, and eat lunch together every day. 😂
Sometimes adults can be adults
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u/BuzzedtheTower 4d ago
Makes me think of George Harrison calling Eric Clapton his husband in law
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u/Own-Cable-3571 5d ago
Tobey gets a bad rep, between the poker games and the young girlfriends.
But isn’t this the best case scenario for a failed marriage? I mean clearly they’re all good enough friends to both have Tobey officiate and for Tobey to accept. Clearly means relations with the in-laws are also decent. Personally this is best case for their kids. I really don’t envy kids that have to live with divorced parents that hate each other at worst or don’t talk at best. Seems like this is the healthiest outcome of a divorce for the kids.
I also think this shows that Tobey gets unfairly judged. Unless his ex wife, ex in laws, ex wife’s new husband are also all assholes and they’re all just peas in a pod.
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u/Ambitious_Bit_9389 5d ago
My parent divorced when I was 11. They still got along. It worked out well. We’d have combined Christmas, Thanksgiving, and birthday parties. We lived with my mom full time and my dad would come over and fix things when they broke around the house. When my mom was traveling for work, my dad would sleep over to get us off to school in the morning. My brother has/had a bunch of mental health issues and they always approached it as a team. When my dad got remarried, his new wife, who was a nurse, just became part of the team.
My dad died of cancer a couple years ago and my stepmom still comes to all the holiday, birthdays, graduations, and funerals. My Mom and my stepmom do lunch once a month to catchup. Everyone thinks they are sisters because they look very alike🙂.
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u/kindnesd99 5d ago
It was a good story but the dad didnt have to die
/s in case anyone thinks I am skeptical
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u/Ambitious_Bit_9389 5d ago
It definitely wasn’t all story book. My Mom had to forgive a lot of cheating by my Dad and not hold a grudge later. It helped that the woman he married wasn’t the one that he was cheating with.
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u/jstewart25 5d ago
Nobody’s perfect. Glad your pop was a good dad at least. The world seems to be short on those most of the time.
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u/AlwaysBeQuestioning 5d ago
Is the “young girlfriends” Tatiana Dieteman, who was 29-32 when she dated him, and he was 46-49? I think that’s quite an age gap, but there’s little problematic about it when you’re both 30+, emotionally mature and financially independent.
I couldn’t find anything about other girlfriends much younger than him, so someone else would have to link me.
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u/finchdude 5d ago
That's just people who think everyone should be the same age dating. Which is dumb. As you said as long as it is two consenting adults it's no one's business what age gap there is.
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u/Bravefan212 5d ago
Best relationship I’ve ever had started when I was 33 and she was 23. We’re still together 8 years later
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u/IrishViking22 5d ago
His current girlfriend is only around a year older than his daughter iirc. Pretty weird imo.
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u/SirBiggusDikkus 5d ago
Redditors are some of the biggest puritans, they just hide it behind social justice etc
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u/AlwaysBeQuestioning 5d ago
I’m sorry, are you calling me a puritan because I like social justice? Those don’t seem very related here, fellow Month Python fan.
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u/TikDickler 5d ago
Bros livin his best life. Rain drops keep falling on his head.
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u/FinishExtension3652 5d ago
Agree. My best friend got divorced a couple years ago. It was amicable and they have a wonderful daughter to share. They're still friends and look out for each other. My friend recently gave his ex and her boyfriend a ride to the airport for a romantic getaway.
For their daughter, they have to deal with parents not living together, but also have parents who still love and respect each other, and can have family events where everyone is there, rather than having to choose one parent over the other.
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u/TeamParking8818 5d ago
A true healthy adult separation. The EQ necessary for this is in short supply in the world.
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u/kalboozkalbooz 5d ago
when judging a situation, your average joe always thinks “what would i be feeling if this was happening to me?” they can’t fathom the reality that other people have valid different interpretations and circumstances beyond their own
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u/gluttonyatitsfinest 5d ago
scrolled too far to find something logical, and you my friend is the most sensible person in this thread.
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u/DamianLee666 4d ago
Me and my ex wife have the same agreement after being divorced we've stayed friends and are quite close
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u/Bnightwing 4d ago
I just had a rough break up with my best friend, she wants to remain friends. I'm fine with that but she never let me say my peace. Do you think I should write down everything I wanted to say (no blaming or anything just she never let me say my side) do you suggest I write it all out and send it to her to still be friends?
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u/Unbuckled__Spaghetti 4d ago
Without knowing any context, knowing what the relationship was like, how it ended, what she said, or what “your piece” is we can’t really offer advice.
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u/DeathNick 4d ago
Is you needing to say your peace because she needs to hear it, or is it because you need to say it? If it's a you thing, then my man, I'm sorry i need to say this, but she's not your therapist to have to hear you out. If she needs to hear it then by all means do it for her
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u/applecombinipimento 5d ago
I don't get it but happy for them if they have this healthy of a post marriage
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u/citramonk 5d ago
people who are salty about it are probably okay with their ex hating on them, and when they moved out they took the dog with them, you had a fist fight, and everytime you see them at the Walmart you're having an argument. NOW that's a real life!
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u/Front-Doughnut8573 5d ago
How’d they get the new husband to agree to this? Happy they aren’t bitter with eachother after the divorce but I think it’s very odd that the new husband is cool with his own wedding being overshadowed by the fact Tobey is participating
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u/ThePickleOrTheEgg 5d ago
“Hey honey, how would you feel about Spiderman pronouncing us man and wife?”
“Spiderman? As in the 2000 hit movie that set Hollywood’s biggest opening weekend record for well over a decade? Sold!”
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u/Accomplished_Run9449 5d ago
Wife: Can I invite my ex husband to our wedding?
Husband: Are you kidding me? No! How can you even ask something like this?
Wife: It's Tobey Maguire.
Husband: Can we also take pictures with him please 🥹.
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u/miIfpatrol 5d ago edited 5d ago
I mean, Tobey is the father of the kids he will be raising and also he’s spider-man, as everyone is saying. Who knows, maybe they have a great relationship as well. My current spouse has dated friends of mine in the past and we are all still friends. Sometimes, it’s not that deep.
Edit: Yooo wtf is up with these replies?? I feel sorry for those that don’t understand nuanced adult relationships that don’t follow the status quo. Don’t project your bad experiences onto people you literally do not know at all. Happily married and a child of divorce, by the way! It’s not all sunshine and rainbows but after 20 years my parents are amicable again. You take the wins you can get. Muting now, TTYL!
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u/Front-Doughnut8573 5d ago
I also don’t think it’s that deep I just find it strange is all but I certainly hope everyone involved is happy and okay with it!
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u/Aero1000 5d ago
It’s probably all the little Timmy’s deep into NTR that can’t even fathomably conceptualize adults having the basic ability to move on constructively, and mutually separate if relationships don’t work out.
I’m still friends with my ex, because guess what, I was already friends with her long before I dated her. Is it this recent phenomenon where you have to cut contact with them if things don’t romantically work?
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u/Goooseeeeee_lady 5d ago
Spider-man
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u/arealhumannotabot 5d ago
Babe, I’ve got Spider-Man booked for the wedding! There’s just a little catch
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u/JabbasPetRancor 5d ago edited 4d ago
Adults can be reasonable about new relationships with new partners. Reddiors don't understand because most of them never had a relationship in their lives.
EDIT: A lot of you are fucking morons proving my point.
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u/DetectiveEames 5d ago
As someone who goes outside and has a life, it makes me smile when someone else recognizes how detached your average redditor is from reality 😄
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u/LoneSnark 5d ago
There is a reason he wanted to date the ex-wife...might be his next step in getting closer to his real target: Tobey.
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u/ThrillHouse802 5d ago
I’m sure her new husband was bragging to his friends that he has some connection to THE Spiderman. Maybe it was even his idea haha
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u/Ht_TX 5d ago
Eskimo brothers!
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u/Appropriate-Crab-379 5d ago
No one will get that, I’ve made similar statements in the past.
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u/Inner-Passage7565 5d ago
What makes you think no one would get it? This is the Internet, after all.
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u/SexualRice 5d ago
Just because you break up doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with your ex!
There isn’t always bad blood between old partners and new ones either.
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u/Bubbly-War5013 5d ago
I mean the new husband is supposedly a billionaire so…if anything it really looks like Tobey is in the 🪑
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u/imperabo 5d ago
She's 49 years old, they split 10 years ago, and he's dating 20 year old models now. Seems like everyone is happy with what they have.
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u/Green-Palpitation901 5d ago
Well apparently all is probably ok being that it happened and all was ok.
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u/Zissoou 5d ago
He's a cool dude, that's not loser behavior but adult behavior.
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u/zookeeper990 5d ago
wtf
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u/Lordjacus 5d ago
Children. Also, fighting drains energy and resources, with nothing to gain here.
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u/BeastieDogs 5d ago
why
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u/lostredditorlurking 5d ago
Spider-Man likes sitting in the chair in the corner?
Is the new husband for his ex wife name Paul?
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u/This_Apartment_9538 5d ago
that says so much about his character honestly, i bet their kids feel so loved seeing that
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u/BeautifulBand4831 5d ago
The amount of two year olds calling the man a simp for having a good relationship with his ex
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u/DevelopmentSouth8801 5d ago
I am very mad about this celebrity who I don't know and who doesn't know me having a good relationship with the mother of his children and having a bit of fun at her wedding. This affects me greatly in some undetermined way.
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u/Schrodingers_Fist 5d ago
Also if I have read correctly they have children, so if he is this okay with that setup all the power to them, that most arent able to do so.
Obviously a picture can both tell and reveal a million words. But so far everything Ive read on Tony McGuire is thay hes a great person and I imagine this was obviously not a snap decision, which sounds like an insane thing to have to clarify for alot of the other comments here.
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u/actualladyaurora 5d ago
Yeah, their children will appreciate this more and more as they go. Especially given that the oldest is almost an adult, having your bio father give the grandest blessing known to man to your step-father and the father of your step-sibling is absolutely a bright sign for the future.
They were separated for a decade before the divorce was finalised, most of the time spent in post-filing paperwork. They've had time to think this through.
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u/RecipeNo101 5d ago edited 5d ago
Gotta say, it's hilarious seeing everyone call the guy a simp when dude was in the p*ssy posse with Leo and probably hooked up with more women by 25 than everyone in these comments will throughout their lives combined. Like oh no, the multi millionaire movie star cares about his ex, mother of his children, and is secure enough to support her, what a cuck
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u/ishouldnotbehere22 5d ago
I completely believe that he's part of leo's posse. Maybe tobey will be the next leo but just regarding the age of who they date and not acting. He's not bad leo is just too high. Honestly doesn't harm anyone so i dont care. Do i think he's icky af?? Yes. But he's not committing a crime. He sure isn't out there harrassing women(that we know of). And i love the original spiderman. Idk if it's cuz the bar is on the floor rn but i'm just glad he's not attracted to actual minors, and he is super supportive of children's mother. That is pretty admirable. Most ppl try to avoid it, even the richest man in the world.
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u/inorite234 5d ago
Good for him.
If he's cool, and she's cool, and....I guess, they're cool, then who are we to judge.
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u/AnotherDamnTransAlt 5d ago
Unless the ex is a legit psycho, when you have kids, you owe it to your family to have the best friendship possible with the parent of your children. Admire this dude a ton for this.
He’ll never have to worry about his ex trying to deprive him of the kids or fight him for them or poison them against him.
She’ll never have to worry he won’t show up or be there.
The kids get mum and dad at their important events without stressing there will be a scene or they’ll be unhappy or not show.
10/10 for everyone involved.
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u/Aethelrede 5d ago
Oh, definitely. Some of the less subtle "critics" are openly calling Toby a "cuck", which isn't even a dog whistle.
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u/CodPlayer2011 5d ago
Tobey and his wife got separated in 2016,filed divorce in 2020 and the divorce got finalized in 2026. After the divorce 19 days later she got married to the other guy and she and the other have a newborn baby before their marriage and Tobey dating another girl. So whoever calling Tobey a c ck needs fix their brain. How come he can be a c ck and dating another woman. Fix your brains kids.
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u/Suwannee_Gator 5d ago
You can say cuck online, this isn’t tiktok where we need to be handheld like children.
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u/Professional-Ad-2657 5d ago
I was reading this thinking he’s not much of a cuck if he pulled Zendaya but that was the other Spider Man lol
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u/Stormy-Skyes 5d ago
Better than hating her forever and making life awkward for their children. It’s unusual but if they’re friends and this works then that’s fine.
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u/Theactualtruthteller 5d ago
I am surprised how such a large amount of commenters understand love as a soley romantic construct.
Loving people is awesome. Most of the cases if both want to break up because they noticed a relationship is just not working for them (they fall out of romantic love but not familiar love) the sexual desire for each other is and will stay pretty low. Its just deliberate coexisting and trust from all parties. This is enriching. Think about it again. And if you keep your opinion thats fine. Just not for me. And I am surprised so few agree.
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u/bl4zed_N_C0nfus3d 5d ago
Id do the same if my ex wife was marrying a billionaire
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