r/lovethissmug • u/PebisCrusherOnline • 23d ago
😻 Meme Or Other Online Trope 😂 I Love Terrible Two Sentence Horror
1.7k
u/Champion-Of-Light935 23d ago
630
u/Plus-Ad5076 23d ago
until recently i had no idea that cyanide is supposed to taste like almonds. i always thought that first part was just some absurdity for the hell of it
160
u/Nerevarine91 23d ago
I only know because we read a short story about that in my middle school English class
→ More replies (1)60
u/BrilliantFly6117 23d ago
The Landlady too?
→ More replies (2)39
u/Nerevarine91 23d ago
“Bitter Almonds,” wasn’t it?
→ More replies (2)31
u/BrilliantFly6117 23d ago
Yes, iirc That was because the landlady put cyanide in the tea for the tenant.
25
u/Nerevarine91 23d ago
Wasn’t there taxidermy involved, as well? It’s been a while, but I swear that was in there
21
u/BrilliantFly6117 23d ago
I think so, in the story I think she was already a taxidermist but was starting to collect taxidermies of young men too?
22
u/Nerevarine91 23d ago
This sounds right to me. I remember my teacher had us write a continuation of the story as a creative writing exercise.
17
u/Inevitable-Fix-6631 23d ago edited 23d ago
wait we did that too! I wrote a story where the tenant was twins with an undercover cop and the cop ended up finding his brother's body and shooting her when she found out and tried attacking him with a needle
→ More replies (0)65
u/BlackMaskKiira 23d ago
I was about to comment "Cyanide has almonds in it."
Then I realized it's the other way around.
(Oh my I just accidentally made a two sentence horror)
23
→ More replies (6)16
u/Mutant_Jedi 23d ago
It’s bitter almonds, which is different from regular almonds.
→ More replies (1)118
114
u/BrilliantFly6117 23d ago
This is actually hilarious because it does a 10/10 subversion of those dumb cliche "cyanide tastes like almonds" stories
→ More replies (1)63
→ More replies (6)39
u/BadMeatPuppet 23d ago edited 23d ago
This reads like a Joe Abercrombie novel lol
→ More replies (1)
1.5k
u/awesomedan24 23d ago
My favorite
98
u/porksoda11 23d ago
Omg these things are killing me right now
→ More replies (3)47
u/CanPlayGuitarButBad 23d ago
Yeah i had no idea these were funny, thought it was all just cringe
25
420
23d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (4)149
u/Bring_me_the_lads 23d ago
What's ftm then? The titty explosion chamber?
229
u/FPSCanarussia 23d ago
"Bring me the dick stapler."
77
u/SpellNinja 23d ago
Godrick the Grafted be like:
→ More replies (2)40
u/Nick_the_bunny 23d ago
Diversity loss: transmasc Godrick just invented trans wrongs.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)20
u/VastWhereas5234 23d ago
Just the sheer inefficiency of it. Exploding all these dicks and tits when there are people out there in need.
32
u/CanPlayGuitarButBad 23d ago edited 21d ago
Principle, take him to the penis explosion chamber and have his penis exploded immediately!
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (4)56
962
u/f0remsics 23d ago
201
u/CarlWheezersValhalla 23d ago
70
→ More replies (3)17
→ More replies (1)74
u/SuperNovaVelocity 23d ago
Little did I know, I was jeff the killer,
and I jeff the killed myself.
→ More replies (1)
693
u/Fluffy-Froyo4549 23d ago
224
59
u/Gear_ 23d ago
This has happened to me for real
22
→ More replies (5)34
603
u/MurdererOfAxes 23d ago
60
41
u/Thorsigal 23d ago
Tomatoes come from a can, they were put there by a man in a factory downtown
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)21
594
u/GorgonzolaGary97 I love you Sha walten files 🐑 23d ago
200
u/BadMeatPuppet 23d ago
the leg eater
39
→ More replies (5)35
562
u/GorgonzolaGary97 I love you Sha walten files 🐑 23d ago
243
u/Gaylaeonerd 23d ago
That's one hairy ballsack
That's one patient killer clown
That's one unbothered cat
58
u/XcarolinaboyX 23d ago
I guess the POV character was a hot non-killer clown lady and the killer clown was just letting it play out for as long as possible
33
23
→ More replies (1)21
u/Shot-Nature-4866 23d ago
I mean the cat not caring about the random murderer in the house I’m the most believable part of the story tbh.
28
→ More replies (5)25
989
u/Sad-Cauliflowerr 23d ago
“Ahh I’m finally alone” I say to myself on my bed at midnight
“No your not” said knife guy
→ More replies (5)255
408
u/Certifiedumb-ass 23d ago
120
→ More replies (1)20
u/Lukas-Drinks-Milk 23d ago
who genuinely decides they want to live in a place called Murdertown 😭😭
→ More replies (4)26
u/LyndisLegion2 23d ago
I mean, there is a Swiss town called Fucking, and people do live there, so if the rent is low enough, I'd say quite a few people
→ More replies (5)
1.2k
u/Evergreen2255 23d ago
358
u/Ill_Pain4423 23d ago
I would love to have lebron James lick my feet
98
u/ViaScrybe 23d ago
50
39
u/Amazing-Gage 23d ago
i don’t know if that really fits. Lebron feet licking is not only relevant it is a major point of the above image. It’s a related anecdote
→ More replies (1)81
u/Jale_Seigneur 23d ago
Okay but that was an actual torture method where someone's head would be stuck to a post, splashed with salt so a goat would lick it, and because the texture of a goat's tongue is extremely abrasive, it would sandpaper their face off really, really slowly.
122
u/M4gp1e-w1ngs 23d ago
I like this one bc I’m pretty sure the original is referencing goat lick torture so this implies that LeBron James is about to lick this person’s feet to the bone
→ More replies (3)50
u/GoSpeedRacistGo 23d ago
My first read through of this I thought Lebron was just a reaction image, could not stop laughing when I realised
341
u/Loud-Asparagus-4136 23d ago
115
u/Living_Murphys_Law 23d ago
I love the implication that the pain receptors haven't had a chance to tell him what happened yet. He's just heard the noise
62
u/Loud-Asparagus-4136 23d ago
Honestly, I love the mild implication that this whole situation has cartoon logic. They hear the noise, and painlessly remove their vacuum to find their genital area completely barren like a plastic doll.
→ More replies (2)52
→ More replies (3)57
u/Mountain-Resource656 23d ago
Some of these just have this amazingly perfect vibe that I utterly can’t replicate…
309
309
300
u/JohnTheMod 23d ago
You know who else loves terrible Two Sentence Horror?
….The Creature.
93
u/TheHumanPickleRick 23d ago
Also Knife Guy.
55
29
→ More replies (3)24
289
249
23d ago
[deleted]
47
u/Neither-Attitude3515 23d ago
I kind of like it for some reason? It sucks but is good at the same time. Reminds me of SCP-002, Mystery Flesh Pit National Park, Alcatraz Island from THEMONUMENTMYTHOS, and other fleshy horrors from other stuff.
→ More replies (1)51
→ More replies (3)16
211
u/lunageek520 23d ago
Here’s one I caught in the wild a few years back, it fascinates me
174
→ More replies (2)37
302
u/Ralfarius 23d ago
Spoon Licker is a figure from Icelandic Christmas tradition. They got a bunch of weird little freaks that come night after night for specific purposes.
83
43
u/DragonTheOnes-spirit 23d ago
Around 50% of icelanders believe in elves
Source: Samuel Of The Nellavion (that's his full name trust)
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (8)16
290
u/_Luciferhimself_ 23d ago
153
u/CulturalSell2793 23d ago
Love how the last one just implies the creature is dutifully employed
39
u/LyndisLegion2 23d ago
Not even employed, I read it as the creatiure just being a friend and having a passion for cooking
→ More replies (1)18
61
22
20
→ More replies (3)15
u/hunnydewlemon 23d ago
I’m amazed at how four separate users can all reference the (same) milking creature.
143
u/Free_Parsnip_3553 23d ago
This is my favourite
104
u/Purple-Bluejay6588 23d ago
Why is there TWO ballsack clown ones??
65
→ More replies (6)19
u/LyndisLegion2 23d ago
And now my head cannon is that it's the same killer clown who made some deal with the devil that all would-be victims of his have to first pet his balls before he kills them
138
112
104
u/goochmusic 23d ago
This is the most consistently funny list I’ve seen in a while. “She WERE the box!”
→ More replies (1)
259
u/SnooFoxes1943 FOR THE COMPANY 23d ago
203
u/oddityoughtabe 23d ago
49
→ More replies (1)15
u/brucewaynecoupe 23d ago
First time I found that I sub I spent like 45 minutes crying laughing, it’s the best content reddit has to offer as far as I’m concerned
→ More replies (3)28
163
u/Youxia7 23d ago
→ More replies (7)61
u/maestro2005 23d ago
I'm actually pretty impressed by how they managed to make something really dumb, but that makes you think.
→ More replies (3)40
u/Dreadgoat 23d ago
The appearance of stupid masking something genuinely clever is a whole other ilovethissmug
and also the type of thing that gets immediately deleted by mods because they don't get it
82
u/JimmerJammer34 big fan of cool robots 23d ago
"Meaty pop" is genuinely such a visceral descriptor for a sound and i hate it so much
70
u/Valkreaper ask me about toaster mangoes 23d ago
My nipples theyve migrated is actually really horrifying
→ More replies (1)20
112
u/These-Lie-735 23d ago
“I heard the doorbell ring, but I wasn’t expecting anyone. Especially since I was on the moon.”
“I finally fixed that leaky faucet in the kitchen. Good thing I used the scary tape.”
Credit for both of these goes to Markiplier.
→ More replies (1)22
u/Quite_Ghastly_Fellow 23d ago
“I bought a beautiful antique mirror from a garage sale”
“And then what happened?”
22
u/gggroovy 23d ago
« My dog always waits for me by the door when I come home . »
« But then he wasn’t there!!! »
113
50
u/sennenring 23d ago
i saw this one back in july and posted it on tumblr and was subsequently delighted when several people in the tags interpreted "they turned off the ventilator" as "mr. burns turned off the ventilator". instead of the (probably) intended reading, "the nursing staff/glue factory employees/whatever turned off the ventilator". and every single time, without fail, whenever someone thought "they" was referring to mr. burns they tagged it with some variation of "THEY/THEM MR. BURNS???"
→ More replies (1)
37
u/M4gp1e-w1ngs 23d ago
I don’t have the screenshot rn but I once found one with zero upvotes that was something like
“I hope nothing bad happens at school today
Vampire teacher: good morning class”
→ More replies (2)55
36
100
u/Artistikittyy320 23d ago
Ok but the cat one is terrifying
44
35
→ More replies (3)25
u/Khao8 23d ago
"meaty pop behind closed doors" is absolutely sending me it's so fucking stupid
→ More replies (1)
28
u/GNightP 23d ago
9th one isnt actually allat bad. It really got me surprised
→ More replies (1)23
u/Drillbitzer 23d ago
Everyone’s talking about the cat but honestly the 9th one takes the cake. Had to do a double take when I read it
30
19
20
22
u/MajorDZaster 23d ago
"The zombies have us surrounded, we're done for unless I can get a firearm.
... Amelia Bedelia, what are you doing with those matches?"
→ More replies (1)
20
18
u/fluffyboom123 23d ago
To this day the best one I have ever read was in a comment section of a completley normal post
15
41
u/Outside-Currency-462 23d ago
The thing with 2 sentence horror is that the unspoken rule is its about twists. It's not 2 sentences of horror, it's a seemingly innocent first sentence followed by a second sentence that recontextualises it into horror, not just adding a brutal violence to the end
→ More replies (2)37
47
17
u/rainwulf 23d ago
The "its a boy" could have been redeemed with
"We need to get your wife into surgery to remove the rest of the baby"
→ More replies (3)
43
u/corn_piece 23d ago
I'd argue these are good, most shit in that sub is corny garbage lol
→ More replies (3)40
u/Maib_Ballz4609 23d ago
Anything related to rape or genital mutilation gets one bazillion upvotes for some reason.
→ More replies (14)
15
u/unica_unica 23d ago
Dude I’m crying laughing at the dildo one it’s so dumb lmaoooo
21
u/Nerevarine91 23d ago edited 23d ago
Okay, so, story time:
When I was in college, one of my best friends was pretty open about owning a dildo (it stopped being a secret after he forget he left it in a bucket of cleaner in the bathroom the four of us shared).
Anyway, after spring break, he came back to us with a worried look on his face. He sat down and told us that he had brought it home with him, and kept it hidden in a drawer. When he went to pack it to come back to the dorms, he found it right where he had left it, but with a huge, unmistakable, bite taken out of it. Tooth indentations and everything.
He knew he didn’t do it. The house was shared with his parents, his three siblings, and their dog. He was really hoping the bite was from the last one, but the teethmarks looked disturbingly human. No good options, really.
→ More replies (4)
2.1k
u/thepuppetshow__ 23d ago