Hello everyone,

I am female, 28 years old. I just don’t know how and when to start as I am still in shock. My mother died two days ago. Everything happened in one week. She went to the capital city for a check up as she was vomiting and in the end they discovered she has pancreatic cancer - 5 cm directly on the head of the pancreas.

I immediately traveled there and was the whole week with her when visits where allowed in the hospital. She went under operation and after 24h she died in the intensive care. I was/still am in shock. Yesterday was the funeral and I didn’t even shed a tear, I was like a ghost.

I was alone with my mother since age 5 when my parents divorced, father was emotionally and physically absent, even though they ended their marriage calmly and everyone from my father‘s side absolutely LOVED my mother. He remarried and I have 3 stepbrothers (wonderful kids, I am in a good relationship with them).

Now I am left alone with my grandmother ( she has dementia now, but I didn’t love her anyway my whole life, she is very selfish, possessive, was emotionally eating alive my mother her whole life ) My mother could barely go out and on vacation because of my grandmother’s drama.

I feel like life throw the biggest slap on me and my incredibly kind mother. How will I ever go on in life how will I have the focus to work again. I just don’t know what and how to express what I am feeling and I don’t know how to canalize my feelings. I just HOPE I will be STABLE.

I just had the feeling to write here, thanks in advance for everyone who reads this.

My mom passed away 3 years ago. And even tho it seems like so much time has passed. I’m mentally still stuck at the time when she was alive. I’m living my life sure, I wake up make a coffee and go to my part time retail job, but my mind is constantly thinking about her. I see a mom and daughter and I tell them you’re so lucky to have each other. I go grocery shopping and feel my heart sinking because it’s something we used to do together. I physically am hurting. I’m struggling. I’m struggling to live without her presence. We were best friends, and my love for her was so deep. Nobody can understand the bond we have. I know she’s in a better place but I’m not. I’m still trying to pick up the pieces she left. I make food she used to cook, wear her clothes, and do things she used to enjoy just to keep her around me and it gives me some sort of comfort. I struggle waking up in the morning. Everything I do that’s considered normal is such a mental battle for me. I dragggg my feet and it sucks the soul out of me to do simple things. I work part time literally 8 hours a week because I can’t handle anything more. I didn’t pursue my career because I didn’t have the mental capacity to grind and work hard for anything. I look fine on the outside but on the inside I’m dying. My heart is heavy, my chest is tight. My eyes are always wet and I can cry on command. I cry easily I’m so fragile I hate the person I became. I don’t know how to live without her. And nobody understands my grief. I lost her at 24.. I envy my siblings for having her longer than me(I’m the baby of the family). I just miss my mom. I’m just a little girl on the inside yearning for her mom. I miss her forever. I love her forever.

Since losing my mother, I’ve lost all sense of time.

Sometimes, I even lose sight of why I’m still alive in the first place.

The grief and despair are still exactly as they were on the day I lost her.

I feel like the shock, the anaesthetic that had been numbing the pain, is beginning to wear off, and everything is becoming even harder to bear.

I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up again.

But time keeps pulling me along by the hand, refusing to let me stay in the same place.

And yet, when I look back, I can see it more clearly than any fading afterimage: I’m still right there, collapsed in tears, left behind in that very same place.

Hi everyone,

growing up I didn’t have the best relationship with my mother. It was very difficult growing up in that house. Now I’m in a safe environment and take therapy.

As Life happens I miss mom and I cry. Not my biological mom but I yearn for mom I never had. This feeling leaves me empty and I wish I had a female figure in my life who would be there for me If need her advice , share fun or weird things about my life, teach me to do stuff or just be there in general.
I miss having a mom so much and it hurts me more knowing that there is a women who gave birth to me but can never see her or confide in her as my mom.

My mom passed away on in 2021, I was 29, and she was my best friend. Losing her changed me in ways I don’t think I’ve ever fully recovered from. A few years later, I also lost my grandma, and sometimes it feels like I’ve lost the two people who made me feel the most loved and safe.
Since losing my mom, I’ve struggled with feeling alone and not having that person I can turn to when life gets hard, someone I can tell everything to and who I know will always be on my side.
Now I have my own daughter, she’s 6 month old, and becoming a mom has made me miss my mom even more. I wish she could meet her, watch her grow, and be here with me through motherhood. There are so many moments when I wish I could call her, ask for advice, or just tell her about my day.
Another thing I’ve been struggling with is my relationship. Things have been difficult between my partner and me, and I often feel lonely, unloved, and unsure about our future. We have a daughter together, and navigating relationship problems while trying to be the best mom I can be has been emotionally exhausting. Sometimes I feel like I’m fighting so hard to make things work while also trying not to lose myself in the process. I wish I had my mom here to talk to, to help me see things clearly, to comfort me when I’m hurting, and to remind me of my worth when I’m struggling to see it myself.
I think not having her makes everything harder because I don’t have that person who knows me better than anyone and who I can turn to without feeling judged. I have beautiful things in my life, especially my daughter, but I still feel this emptiness that nothing can really fill.
I joined this group because I want to connect with women who understand this kind of loss, especially those who know what it feels like to navigate motherhood and difficult times without their own mom here. I miss her so much, and sometimes I just wish I could be someone's daughter again and have my mom tell me everything is going to be okay.

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Hi, I'm 18 and I need an interview for a school project. this project will be done on how having a single parent affects how you communicate. As a daughter of a single father I want to analyze the effects of people who have lost there mother or never had one and the effects on there communication with others and themselves

The interview would be a short form interview, only around 8 minutes the interview needs to be conducted before the 20th. This can be done over voice or text. Any help would be greatly appreciated as I don't have many women in my life to talk to about this.

Thank you for reading any help would be appreciated!

I can expand on questions if anyone is interested

(This will remain completely anonymous)

Watching White Lotus, and as a 40 year old who lost her mom as a teenager, this line hit me hard. I think because it encompasses a part of grief I hadn’t really been able to name previously—the part of it where, the person who thinks about you the most, your wellbeing, your happiness, who invests in your future, who puts you at the center of their universe, is no longer. That universe where you are the most important, is no longer. When this happens to you as a kid, it’s humbling in the worst way.

Sometimes understanding a feeling is comforting in itself, so I thought I would share. Solidarity ❤️

It’s been almost two years since I lost my mom to cancer and life just keeps getting harder and harder. She passed two days before my son’s first birthday. So much has happened since then. I have a 5 month old daughter now and it breaks my heart every day knowing that I have a child she never got to meet. I miss her so much!

Life is not going the way I thought it would be and I’m so angry. She should be here and she’s not.

I am having such a hard time surviving through motherhood right now with a small village(that I am so so so thankful for) but it’s not the same. My in-laws have no interest in being grandparents and it makes me so mad that my mother was robbed of her chance so early. You would think that would make my in-laws not waste the opportunity to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives more.

I feel like there is a black cloud hanging over me and my little family, we just can’t catch a break. We’re close to losing our home and the bills are piling up. I don’t know what to do at this point. Finding better jobs seems impossible.

I feel like a helpless little girl who desperately just wants and needs her mother. This existence is crushing me. Does anyone have advice on where to turn?

My mom passed away when I was 25 years old, she has been gone for over a decade now. My MIL came into my life when I was 23. I miss my mom so very much and no one would ever truly replace her. She was my best friend, I called her everyday. I truly wanted a relationship with my MIL because I am lonely and I guess I just miss a maternal figure/friend. Someone to complain with and vent, shop but my MIL is just not it. She is a Christian who is not very supportive of others beliefs. When I try to vent or complain, she just tells me that Jesus wouldn't complain about people because everyone isn't perfect (even though she complains and judges people even who go to her church), she barely has any pictures of me in her house in comparison to my SILs because "I got pregnant out of wedlock". She is overbearing with my children, finances, and health. My daughter is my twin yet she rants how she looks nothing like me and just looks like her. I just.. I try so hard I call her mom, gifts, crafts (that I got told to stop making because they don't go with her decor and she is not interested in "Pinterest stuff"). But then she turns around and tells me I am her daughter she never had, she is the mom I needed since mine is gone. And she reminds me CONSTANTLY that my mom is gone. "Since you don't have your mom..." I dont know what to say to her, I do not want to start shit at all. My mom wouldn't want that from me. I just wish she could be my friend. I truly wish I had a friend. I miss my mom. I guess I am just asking for advice, does anyone deal with this.

I can't remember my mother's voice. She passed so long ago and I can't remember it. Why does this hurt so badly and how can I cope with this?

I lost my mom, Jeni, in 2015. Her death was ruled a suicide, but there have always been unanswered questions about what happened.

I'm still trying to find answers, but I don't want her story to become only about how she died.

My mom was the person who taught me what joy felt like. She loved broken, fragile things, especially animals that needed someone to care for them. She was a florist who loved helping people make their dreams come true. She chose to love me, and she became my safe place.

I wish we had had so much more time together. There are so many things I wish I could tell her, so many moments I wish she could have been here for.

I'm sharing an article about her life and the questions surrounding her death because I want to make sure she isn't ever forgotten about. She would've done the same for any of her friends and family, and I am so sorry it has taken me so long to seek answers.

I miss my mom. I want answers about what happened to her, but I also want her kindness, her laughter, and the love she gave people to be remembered.

If you've lost your mom, I'm sorry. I know there is no simple way to carry that kind of loss. Thank you for letting me share a little piece of mine.

hello everyone!! i am venting but if you have advice or anything to say i’d love to hear it. my name is ej, im 20f and watched my mom take her final breath last july after a little over a year long battle with stage four colon cancer. its been a complicated journey processing this grief, if im being honest i feel like i still haven’t fully bounced back after losing her. we didnt have a great relationship before she got sick, and i feel like that always translates to friends as “i dont really miss her because we used to hate eachother.” which just isn’t the case. i miss her and i miss so many things about her and i miss the things we didn’t get to do, the relationship we didnt have etc.
since january (about six months after she passed away) my friends have been really comfortable making jokes about my mom. it was before that as well but i noticed i started getting a little upset by it in january. i make jokes about it as well, but honestly not as often as they do. my friends have dealt with grief in their own ways, my friend lost her boyfriend last year and my other friend has lost friends to suicide. but neither of them know what it’s like to be twenty without a parent. they are also both in their early thirties.
everytime i try to talk about my mom, they joke about it even when im trying to be serious, or im clearly upset. i still have random moments where i get overwhelmed with grief. last week in the car i saw her obituary card that i see everyday, but this day it hit me hard that she’s really gone. like really gone forever. i started silently crying and later was trying to talk to my friends about it and my friend was like “it’s been over a year and you still cry about it?”
yeah, i’ll cry about it forever. probably.
i only got nineteen years with her. i have no parent. i watched her die.
i feel like a hypocrite with the dead mom jokes, because i do joke sometimes about her. but when all my friends do when i bring her up is joke about it, it hits in a different way, i guess. i have a couple friends with dead moms and we say- the only semi good part about having a dead parent is getting to make dead parent jokes. i dont even think its pride like that… its just… this isn’t your parent to joke about. this isn’t your experience, this isn’t your grief to joke about. i would never joke about either of their grief. that’s something so personal to them. i guess sometimes i do get prideful about it because how do i know not to joke about your grief at twenty, and you’re both in your thirties joking about my mom and not creating any space for me to talk about missing her, when i always create that space for you? it makes me feel like a shitty person. like i can’t have both, i either don’t joke about my mom or i suck it up and have to get used to other people joking about her death.
it would be nice if there was a balance i guess. like if they could hold space for the grief and i guess it would be okay if they joke about it sometimes (but i just really don’t want them to. idk.) its my mommy, not theirs. my grief, not theirs. they didn’t have to stay up all night with her in the hospital, give her medications, make sure she ate and help her when she threw up, change her colostomy bag, tell the doctor to put a dnr order on her at seventeen years old, drive back and forth to and from the hospital, then the rehab, eventually have to make the decision to put her on hospice, listen to the death rattle and then watch her die. idk. feels weird that they’re making jokes.
but let me know if you have any thoughts. am i wrong? also sorry this is all over the place im just really emotional about this rn. thanks

I miss you everyday. I am still in shock. I am not ready to say goodbye but God knows best

Greeting Everyone my name is Michelle. I loss my only child my son “Mickale” to a senseless act of gun violence in the city of Detroit. I lived in pure devastation for the first 2 years after, the third year I became numb to everything around me..

until I realized that I have to be a Voice for my child, his life was beautiful and it mattered!

I’am a certified trauma grief and loss coach now.

I would like to say in honor of him and all of the other Parents who have lost a child tragically in Detroit I have wrote two petitions for the opportunity to get the community to have a win as well as the grieving parents! 

This will happen by asking the city of Detroit to grant  (at no cost) vacant ,abandoned lots that are very unkept all over the city to parents! 

this will help parents to create a beautiful space with gardens, flower beds, community events,etc in honor of their child while beautifying the neighborhood it’s in to help drop crime rate and get people involvement in community clean up and organization! 

Please sign this petition to help get this to city officials! Lets help a grieving parent who‘s life is forever devastated but can start healing with building their child’s Legacy! 

As humans we are told that we only need 6 months to process grief, for me it’s been 1 year and 5 months and I still haven’t come close to even accepting that my mom died. These past few weeks I’ve been struggling with what is real and what is not, in the sense that i cant distinguish if the emotions i’m feeling is grief or just me remembering her. Obviously thinking about her makes me sad, because her dying is a sad thing but is that grief or just sadness linked to the memory? By definition (aka according to Google) Grief is the natural emotional, physical, and psychological response to a significant loss, but how does that feel? How do I know that the feeling I’m feeling right now is grief? Personally I do have a problem with distinguishing between my emotions just because I feel like that I can never properly categorize them according to the standard if that makes sense.
What made me write this is that I recently watched the documentary ‘Dear Zachary’( I recommend that you watch it immediately if you haven’t yet) and I was in tears the entire time. I truly believe that the definition of grief will never ever be able to do justice in describing how it feels to lose someone significant. It not only changes you psychologically, emotionally and physically, it changes the entire trajectory of your life. I would find myself having to remind myself how to breathe, how to think and even how to cognitively process things. This documentary was the only visual representation of grief that I’ve seen since she died. It shows the person was exactly that, a person. Someone who had an entire life and someone who had all these connections with other people. it ‘s so hard for me to grasp that one day they could be there and the next they are gone. Like their physical presence just got removed from existing amongst us. We are conditioned to believe that this is just a natural thing and maybe it is scientifically, and I know that we all have to die but how is it just natural for us to be expected to just move on. If you take away the physicality were they ever even here? All we have are memories that will eventually fade and objects that we place a lot of value on but what I need is to physically hear her say something to me. Everyone around me just repeats the phrase “she loved you” and i hundred percent believe that she did but does she now? She can’t love me now because she’s not here. I believe that we are more than just our physical bodies, I believe that our souls are so important but most importantly I believe in science. How do I stop believing in science, because maybe if I stop believing I would be able to believe that she loves me now. I admire religious people for being able to just wholeheartedly believe in someone that’s not physically, because that’s the one thing I wished I could do. When I close my eyes and talk to her it just feels like I’m gaslighting myself or that I’m being silly but in retrospect I’m just a daughter trying to speak to her mom in the only way that she knows how to.
We are conditioned as a society to lead with logic,sense and strategically but I feel like as humans we are born to lead with emotions, whether we realise it or not. It’s impossible to remove emotions from our day-to-day life and I believe that, that in itself is how we differ from AI. We live our lives based on our emotions and this concept I call Emotality (I made up this word btw). I formulated the definition as the realization that we as humans are inherently emotional and base and live our lives off of that fact. And simultaneously we realize that after our eventual passing the only thing that impactively remains is our emotions, the actions/consequences of our emotions and what emotions we triggered from others. I believe that the majority of people don’t have emotality, thus expecting people to move on from grief after a few months instead of acknowledging how that loss, how experiencing an emotion, grief has the ability and most likely will change their lives.
Before my mother died I was ambitious, positive and in some form innocent, now I look for ambition in others and I am only a shell of the girl I once was. When she left she took every positive emotion she triggered in me during her life and left me groveling to find alternatives, but how do i find alternatives for something i cant even touch or name. Who am I without grief, but also without her? Because those two things can’t exist in one reality. Either I have no grief and I have my mom or I don’t have my mom but I live with grief. So I think that I should rather ask who I am with grief. How do I navigate my future while still actively being crippled by the feeling of intense loss? I will never get over this and i dont think that i should have to, because we are not robots that can just change the settings of our feelings. The more i think about it the more i think about it the more i realize that me still experiencing grief indicates the significant impact she had in my life, how much i loved her and vice versa but also that she was real. And that makes the constant pain of missing her worth it. I don’t know the direction of my life but I know that grief will remain a constant part of it and I ironically couldn’t be happier about that

Today i had a lot to do i cleaned the house took out the trash cooked lunch and dishes
I just remember how when she was here i didn’t think a lot about these things i had chores but now it feels like i am trying to hold up things together and the things are heavy usually mom helped me hold them but now i am alone and if i don’t hold them well or get tired everything will fall there’s no plan b no safety net

I have sisters they mostly cook and help with chores but i don’t want to rely on them it’s not their responsibility they lost their mom too

Honestly i envy anyone who has a good mom who is alive and they don’t have to worry about cooking or chores as much they can hug her and have her help them with alot of things and have her at their graduation