I've been making music since 2014, when I was 11. I started taking it more seriously around 2016. For most of my music career (if you can even call it one), I've mostly made hip hop, usually boom-bap beats and lyrical rap. I stopped making music when I was 17, mainly because I wasn't having fun anymore, and other things, particularly school, got in the way. I later went to film school, but I've been trying to get back into music for the past two years.
I'm pretty experienced with music production. I've been using Logic Pro for over a decade, and I'm an expert with it. I've experimented with different genres over the years, including pop, electronic, house, R&B, and I even went through a vaporwave phase. In the past few years, I've also been listening to a wider variety of music, particularly pop and rock. Tbh I don't listen to as much rap as I used to. Back in high school, I was constantly listening to new rap albums, but not anymore.
Originally, I was thinking of making rap music that blends pop, rock, or something else. Maybe rapping over pop or rock beats, or just singing instead. But now I'm not even sure if rap should still be my main genre, or a genre at all.
I still enjoy rapping every now and then, whether it's to old stuff of mine or to someone else's song, but sometimes I wonder if I'm just refusing to grow out of something I did as a teenager. Part of me worries about how people who knew me back then would perceive me if they heard me rapping today. At the same time, I feel like abandoning rap would mean wasting potential.
I've considered singing as well, but I don't like how my voice sounds when recording, even with Auto-Tune. I might take singing lessons again someday, but that's another thing I'd have to work through.
Another factor is commercial success. When I was younger, I used to release music online all the time, not caring about what was trendy, just doing me while still dreaming of being famous. But I barely got any plays, and I was constantly questioning what I was doing wrong. I think that experience still affects me today. Even now when I make a cool beat, I start wondering who would actually listen to it, what the concept of the song would be, whether I really wanna commit to that sound, or whether there's something else worth exploring.
I want my music to reflect who I am, and the visual side of being an artist is also extremely important to me. But I have so many different musical and artistic directions in mind that I can't settle on one. And I don't wanna come off as lazy, but sometimes I think I'm more excited about the idea of being a particular kind of artist than the actual process of making that music.
I know artists don't have to limit themselves to one genre, and I'm not saying I wanna make the same kind of music for the rest of my life. I just wanna settle on one direction for now, build from there, and explore other styles later depending on where life takes me. I wanna start releasing music within the next month or two, ideally two singles and then start recording an EP, while gradually building an audience.
The problem is that I've already spent years experimenting, and I still can't decide. Even when I make something I like, I'm never 100% sure it's what I wanna pursue. I'm worried about choosing something that doesn't fulfill me creatively, but I also don't wanna face the same pattern of making something and nobody listening to it. It's not that I'm afraid of taking risks; I'm just tired of failing.
So my question isn't "Which genre should I make?" It's "How do I figure out what I want to make in the first place?" I'm not looking for advice like "just make whatever you want", "follow your heart", or "genres don't matter". Honestly, I don't know what I want, and simply experimenting with more genres hasn't helped me. For anyone who's been in a similar position, how did you actually figure out which musical direction you wanted to commit to?
I should also mention that I have autism and ADHD. I'm not sure if that plays a role in these problems, but I figured it was worth mentioning.