I saw a comment under my post about whataboutism that made me think about how deeply patriarchy is embedded in our society.
My post has nothing to do with hating men. Whataboutism can be used by both men and women. There is no gender role for using this.
The commenter basically mocked women for discussing sexism, saying that these supposedly “intelligent” Myanmar women will eventually marry men they criticize, give birth to their children, and become housewives anyway. They also mocked women for using “fancy foreign words” online.
Why is a woman's opinion about sexism suddenly less valid just because she might eventually get married or have children? And even if a woman chooses to become a housewife, that doesn't mean she deserves less respect or should have fewer rights.
I think this reflects how deeply traditional gender roles are ingrained in our society. Women are expected to become wives and mothers, while speaking against the system that reinforces these expectations gets treated as a joke.
But patriarchy doesn't benefit men as much as some people think, either.
Men are also expected to be providers, to suppress their emotions, to always appear strong, and to prove their masculinity. Men who don't fit these expectations can be mocked for being weak, feminine, or not being “real men.” They're often discouraged from expressing vulnerability or seeking emotional support because society teaches them that these things make them less masculine.
Of course, men and women don't necessarily experience these expectations in the same way, and women have historically faced significant disadvantages under patriarchal systems. But acknowledging that patriarchy harms men doesn't take away from the problems women face. Both can be true at the same time.
And that's why I think we should be questioning these expectations instead of defending them simply because they're traditional.
Feminism isn't about making women superior to men. It's about challenging a system that assigns people roles, expectations, and limitations based on their gender.
Women should be able to speak about sexism without being ridiculed, and men should be able to live without having their masculinity constantly questioned.
Neither women nor men should have to spend their lives proving that they're good enough according to society's expectations of their gender.