hello everyone I had a question about the defining number of binge drinking. from what ive found the general consensus is 4-5 drinks per night and over is considered binge drinking and extreme.

I usually go out with a few buddies of mine on weekends and we hang out for about 6-7 hours into the night. with each hour I easily have a beer or a mix drink and at the end of the night over the course of 7 hours ill have had about 7 or 8 drinks. does that count as a binge or extremely bad and unhealthy even though its over the course of a 7 hour period?

Hotel pillows are so full and firm but I can't find anywhere to buy them. I dream about hotel pillows. Where do I buy them? Is there a search term that I just don't know? Doed anyone on Reddit work in a hotel and have inside knowledge? I have feather pillows but they always deflate, the hotel ones are so firm!

Please don't say "ask the hotel", I tried that in the last place I stayed and they said they didn't know.

Went on a date with a guy the other day and it went really well, said if there will be another date I said I’d love too he was being a gentleman and everything.

Today he messaged me after his 12 hour shift and said “wanna come round for cuddles” like nooooo. I’ve met him once… I said “I’m already in bed” he said “don’t worry, I wasn’t actually expecting you too” but now it’s awkward and I feel like all the romance is dead.

Guys, would you say this to a girl? And girls would you also be weirded out by this? I’m 24 years old, and he is 26.

Whenever I’m getting like a wax or something I always tell myself “pain is temporary” but gosh is it really worth it, should I just adopt? The only thing making me rather have kid myself is like I wanna see what my children would look like and if I’ll have good genes lol. But that’s it. Like you risk getting hammerhoids , cooch getting ripped open , there’s risks with the baby and having miscarriages, tumors, then you have to take care of a new born while trying to heal like the thought of these things terrify me and epiderals look terrifying like why would I want a giant needle being put in my back that can potentially paralyze me? The only good part is having the love of your life, your children. But imagine going through all that and now you have to deal with kids who like to pick up bugs and throw them at you and rub peanut butter all over themselves and then eventually grumpy and mean teenagers who cuss and say they hate you when you discipline them . Not only that but let’s talk about how humiliating it is, everyone now knows you were getting it on and go knocked up 😔

Is it an occasional thing or a personal choice? I genuinely don’t understand.

My mother was at least 3 races, while my father was 2. Can I say I'm all 5 of those races, if I got a DNA test would all 5 pop up.

I’ve (24F) been on an SSRI for a couple years now but recently started getting bad at taking it on time. I started taking it originally for aging/death anxiety and now that I’ve been back to taking it regularly for 14 days as of today, I’m still dealing with a lot and as of right now and currently can’t look at anyone older than me without stressing about aging and my eventual death. This morning I was caring for my neighbor’s plants while they’re away and found myself hysterically crying looking out their backyard at the park I used to play at as a kid next to some neighborhoods of houses, thinking both about the innocence of my childhood and the truth that I will be in a house like that one day as I age, both striking me as absolutely horrifying. even if you’re only 25, or love to hear about your relationship with aging and how you live with it because right now for me it’s paralyzing.

I’m curious how people reconcile two expectations I see placed on women, because they seem quite incompatible.

From a young age, many women are taught to take precautions around unfamiliar men. We’re told to watch our drinks, avoid isolated situations, recognize warning signs, be careful who we trust, and exercise judgment about who we allow into our lives.

These precautions aren’t based on the belief that most men are dangerous. They’re based on the fact that we cant reliably determine which individuals might be dangerous before getting to know them.

Yet I’ve noticed that many men interpret women taking these precautions as making a judgment about *their specific character*.

If a woman crosses the street at night, a man might interpret that as her deciding he’s personally threatening. If she covers her drink, he might interpret it as an accusation that he would drug her. If she declines an offer for a ride, he might feel that she’s unfairly assuming he has bad intentions.

But it’s a distinction that gets overlooked.

“I don’t know whether you’re safe” isnt the same statement as “I believe you’re dangerous.” When I cross the street to avoid an unfamiliar man at night, I’m not necessarily making a judgment about him singularly. I don’t know anything about him and that’s the point.

I’m making a general precautionary decision in a situation where I have limited information and where the consequences of misjudging someone’s intentions could be serious.

If he’s perfectly harmless, which he probably is, I’ve taken a small precaution that wasn’t necessary in hindsight. If he isn’t, that precaution might have helped me avoid a dangerous situation.

That doesn’t mean every precaution is equally reasonable, that women are incapable of unfairly stereotyping men, or that men are wrong to feel uncomfortable when they believe someone is afraid of them.

It means that someone’s discomfort with a precaution doesn’t, by itself, establish that the precaution was unreasonable or an accusation of wrongdoing.
And this brings me to the second part of the contradiction.

In conversations about dating and relationships, I frequently encounter the argument that women need to “take accountability” for choosing men who eventually mistreat them.

If a boyfriend cheats, people ask why she didn’t recognize his character sooner.

If a man abandons his responsibilities as a father, people ask why she chose to have children with him.

If a relationship becomes abusive, people question why she didn’t notice the warning signs or leave earlier.

To be clear, I absolutely believe adults should use judgment in their relationships, recognize warning signs when possible, and reflect on their decisions. Women aren’t exempt from personal responsibility, and there are situations where someone knowingly ignores serious problems.

But being responsible for your own choices isnt the same as being responsible for another adult’s decision to lie, cheat, abandon their children, or abuse someone.

We can acknowledge that people should make informed decisions without transferring moral responsibility for someone else’s actions onto them.

More importantly, if the expectation is that women should be better at identifying potentially harmful partners *before* they’re harmed, then surely that requires allowing women to exercise some caution and selectivity in the first place.

If a woman trusts someone who later mistreats her, she’s told she should’ve been more careful.

If she exercises caution around someone who turns out to be harmless, she may be told she’s unfairly suspicious.

**I**f she overlooks warning signs, she’s got poor judgment.

If she screens people carefully, shes distrustful or assuming the worst.

If she doesn’t protect herself, she’s told to take responsibility for her safety.

If she does protect herself, now she’s making blameless men feel bad.

I’m not claiming every man makes both arguments, that these reactions are equally common, or that any particular man who advocates personal responsibility necessarily objects to women’s precautions.

I’m saying how can both expectations realistically be applied together?

Because theres a fundamental problem with expecting women to identify dangerous men without ever making harmless men feel unfairly distrusted:

You cant reliably distinguish a dangerous stranger from a harmless one when you have basically no information.

Someone can appear friendly, respectful, and trustworthy while concealing harmful intentions. someone who initially appears intimidating may be harmless.

That uncertainty is why precautions exist in the first place.

The purpose of a precaution isn’t to establish that someone is guilty. It’s to reduce exposure to a potential risk when you don’t have enough information to rule it out.

People lock their doors without believing their neighbors are burglars. They avoid leaving valuables unattended without believing everyone nearby is a thief. They decline to share personal information with strangers without assuming every stranger intends to exploit them.

We generally understand that taking precautions against possible misconduct isn’t equivalent to accusing a particular individual of intending to commit it.

I do think men are entitled to have feelings about these interactions. Absolutely I can see how Being perceived as potentially threatening when you have no intention of hurting anyone would be hurtful.

But having an understandable emotional reaction doesn’t mean another person wronged you or is obligated to change their boundaries to not make you feel bad.

So I’m interested in what people think women should do in these situations, rather than simply being told they should have known better after something goes wrong.

I have seen it on high school teams, and in college level American football, especially. Quite frankly, I think it’s amazing and a sort of uniquely American cultural point. I was thinking about this during the World Cup, when I saw American soccer fans trying to emulate English soccer culture and whatever else rather than using what they have, but then I thought about it, and American professional teams don’t really use marching bands either (at least in any sport that I’ve seen). So my question is, why don’t American professional sports use this uniquely American cultural piece that I personally find pretty cool?

Does any country still have Field Marshalls as a military rank? It used to be the highest rank of military authority and it was used during World War 2 by the British, French, Germans and Russians (Soviets). But I don't think America ever used Field Marshall during World War 2 as far as I know. I think their highest rank was General and Admiral, unless I'm mistaken. The rank goes way back in time and was famously used by Napoleon. But is it still used by any major country? Or has it been mostly completely abolished everywhere? Just curious?

The title basically. I’m curious about what the process is like for the brain and the body to “cooperate” with the prosthetic part of the body from the patient’s point of view. Were you able to use it straight away as if it has always been there or did it take time? What were the challenges that people don’t talk about when you adapt to your prosthetic limb? Thank you!

I never know if I should leave my own upvote on comments I make. Do you guys leave the upvote on your own comments so it always starts with 1 or do you take them off after posting and have it start at zero?

I noticed this a few times and I haven’t dated in a while. But when I have I noticed this is how I felt.

I’m careful now too in who I choose now that I’m 28, and want to get married and have kids one day too.

But yeah I’m just curious, because isn’t dating supposed to give you butterflies?

Let’s say someone is dying, and they must be transported to the hospital as quick as possible, you on the other hand, think that waiting for an ambulance would risk their life and also thought an ambulance might be too “slow” , and certainly slower than your Z06 parked outside, you put them in the car and head to the hospital as fast as you can, breaking speed limits, running reds (as safely as possible) and just committing various traffic violations, and you get there to the hospital, and the patient lives, and the doctors says if it were any later, he wouldn’t make it, How would the situation hold up in court? You didn’t actually injure any ones life in the route to the hospital, and you saved a dying person.

I’ve been experiencing this lately, and it happened several times. I’m curious whether others have experienced something similar and what they think might be causing it.

So I regularly drive from San Diego to Vegas, LA and Arizona. Today I drove from SD to Yuma. I’ve noticed that when I get to those long stretches of land that have no buildings and are just dirt/rocks/mountains, I don’t see any animals. In the city I see a few coyotes, but I always wondered why I have never seen any animals in the mountains and flat land while driving through. I played Oregon trail a lot when growing up so I thought those animals were common in that kind of terrain. I drive during all hours of the day and night and nothing. Where are they? Are they extinct.

I'm 18 and love reading YA. Now I have slowly also gotten into adult books which are great(Robin Hobb, Discworld etc). But I still adore my YA series

There is a very specific hate for YA here on reddit. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of bad books in YA. But that's the case for all genres

Like what's wrong with a teenager liking teenage stuff?? And of course teens are going to be annoying to many adult readers

For example so many people on reddit tell Harry is very annoying in the later books. But he is a teenager losing his loved ones every year! It's realistic for him to snap at people, to cry and complain.

Most people aren't perfect in real life either

I was a mess at 16 after losing a parent. And really related to Harry in the 5th book. But everyone on reddit calls him annoying for constantly whining.

Dead and many injured?! Prayers.

Protests are quite common there, so is it acceptable to be late for work due to protest related problems?

Cancel a wedding? Cancel school and kindergarten?

In some area is it even possible to get groceries?

My early teenager came to me a few days ago and seemed VERY shook. After a bit of prodding he said that someone he used to play with threatened to kill him and his family and he could track us down with our IP. We run VPNs and I am pretty confident about my network security and our families online footprint so I explained to him how it all works and he seemed pretty good with things after that. He blocked him and we moved on with a pretty good attitude.

He just came to me again and said that the kid got his other discord (he uses a different discord for his phone and PC) and was continuing to harass him. Once again, I reassured him that he was fine and everything was ok but he seemed more bothered.

This is pretty standard random internet stranger behavior and I am pretty unbothered by it but I know my kid is pretty upset and I am just wondering what others have done in this situation. If nothing else some reassurances so I can show my kiddo this thread and we can bury it like it should be. Thanks for any input or advice people might have!