r/popculturechat • u/Playful_Wonder_5205 • Oct 15 '25

Selena Gomez 💖 Selena Gomez Says She Has Difficulty 'Enjoying Things' for Fear Joy Will 'Go Away': 'I Got Married and Then I Was Sobbing'

https://people.com/selena-gomez-hard-enjoying-things-i-got-married-then-i-was-sobbing-11830434
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u/FrozenRose_816 It’s a bad idea right? Maybe. Probably. Definitely. 😬 Oct 15 '25

It sounds like trauma that's likely related to having to get the kidney transplant and/or having a potentially life-threatening autoimmune disease. I'm dealing with an ongoing health situation and I can understand how that line of thinking happens, because I've been there myself tbh.

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u/Curiosities 🐊 swamp princess 🐊 Oct 15 '25

She's also dealt with a period of psychosis and bipolar.

I get it. I have c/PTSD and anxiety, and depression, and MS and everything good feels like it can't be trusted. I just finished an appointment with my psychiatrist, so I get care at least.

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u/tew2109 Oct 15 '25

Also C-PTSD, anxiety, depression, and a chronic condition (in my case interstitial cystitis, likely caused by the never-ending UTIs I started getting as a toddler at the hands of my father). It's a real fun mix! LOL. I have therapy twice a week and a standing bi-monthly appointment with my psychiatrist. I don't think I've EVER trusted anything good. I don't know that I've ever actually felt safe. I'm not entirely sure what that would feel like. It's like seeing someone have a good relationship with their father. I want that for everyone, and I truly mean that. I love seeing good fathers. I want nothing more than for everyone to have parents they can trust and rely on. But when I actually SEE it, or hear my friends talking about it...it's kind of like a language I don't speak at all.

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u/Curiosities 🐊 swamp princess 🐊 Oct 15 '25

Oof, this is relatable in many ways. When I started seeing my therapist, one day early on he asked me to think about something that made me feel safe and I basically said "what's that?". Been working on that, but it's still kind of as you say. I'm genuinely happy for others who have good personal relationships, and get things they need. And it's like the least understandable thing while I'm here with my vigilance waiting for the next thing to overwhelm me.

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u/tew2109 Oct 15 '25

I was just asked that by my therapist! I’m working on EMDR and she was talking about my safe place, somewhere I always felt safe, and it’s like… ::footage not found::

Honestly one of the funniest and most ridiculous things is when people try to tell me to start online dating. LMAO. I’m glad when it works out for others but for ME? Have you lost your mind? Do you know how much trust I need to have in a person to even allow them to touch me? And how long that trust takes to build? You think I’m going to just go…meet some rando from the internet??? You could also suggest I jump into an active volcano, since that’s about as likely. Also, I never said I WANTED a spouse, so I don’t know why it keeps getting suggested, lol. Self-awareness is thankfully something I was blessed with, so I’m very aware I would not make the world’s best partner.