r/popculturechat • u/Playful_Wonder_5205 • Oct 15 '25
Selena Gomez š Selena Gomez Says She Has Difficulty 'Enjoying Things' for Fear Joy Will 'Go Away': 'I Got Married and Then I Was Sobbing'
https://people.com/selena-gomez-hard-enjoying-things-i-got-married-then-i-was-sobbing-11830434853
u/GirlisNo1 Oct 15 '25
I never feel more anxious than when everything is going well in my life. Feels like something bad must be just around the corner.
I think itās from childhood trauma, if you grow up constantly anxious, stability and joy feel very foreign and temporary.
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u/ktlene Oct 16 '25
I was always so sure that when things were going well, I needed to stfu about it or someone in charge of luck would realize that I shouldnāt have all these lucks and blessings and take them all away from me š„¹ so when things are going great, theyāre actually just going okay (but Iām dying of happiness on the inside).Ā
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u/Impressive_Charity17 Oct 16 '25
Me right now. Happiest I have ever been but hiding it from nearly everyone in my life.
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u/Hot_Limit_1870 One stomach flu away from my goal weight Oct 16 '25
Yeah seems like an anxiety thing
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u/Time-Pick3831 Oct 18 '25
I felt like that in June. My life seemed back on track, not in the most glamorous and perfect way, but it seemed certain things were starting to change. And then something bad happened. It wasnāt the end of the world, we got through it, but it left me scared that catastrophes are always behind the corner
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Oct 15 '25
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Oct 15 '25 edited Oct 15 '25
Iām like this and recently found out I have OCD, Iāve also personally had the worst things and best things in my life happen side by side twice now so I understand what sheās saying entirely.
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u/onmywheels nooooooooooooo š š¼ Oct 15 '25
It's also a "I have an incurable disease" thing. I have the same autoimmune disease she does (lupus; along with a few other ailments, because they do tend to accumulate) and it's crazy what it can do to your outlook on life. I remember being obsessed with the life expectancy percentages when I got diagnosed. When I reached five years, it felt like a miracle lol.
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u/justlurkingnjudging Oct 15 '25
Not being able to depend on your body has such an impact on your mindset and mental wellbeing. Mine donāt really impact life expectancy but still Iāll have a few great days and then suddenly everything is flaring up and Iām doing bad again.
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u/Lifeismeh123 Oct 15 '25
Same here. I never thought Iād make it to 30. Iām now 36. Itās wild when your body is shitting out on you from a young age. So traumatic too.Ā
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u/meggygogo Oct 15 '25
I can relate. I have Sjogrens and this is how I feel
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u/gravytrain2012 Oct 16 '25
Mine started this year and itās flipped my whole life upside down :( itās still mild luckily and sometimes I forget just how much Iāve been through and feel guilty for being so stuck; then I notice my nerves burning as Iām sitting at my desk and remember Iām in a bad dream I never woke up from.
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u/kattylovesfoood Oct 16 '25
Me too as a fellow Sjogrens person that got diagnosed at 19
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u/vanillasheep Hatfished to the gods. Oct 15 '25
Came here to say hiiii I have OCD and this is very much an OCD compulsion.
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Oct 15 '25
Itās wild to find out Iām not just a catastrophising worrier and I am in fact mentally ill, oddly comforting actually.
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u/curtmahgurt Oct 16 '25
I have OCD. When I was little, I didnāt know what it was, so always just assumed I was weird/broken somehow. Then someone explained OCD to me, and it all just kind of clicked. It was so comforting knowing that I had a documented thing that lots of other people deal with, and I didnāt have to hide it or be embarrassed about it. My symptoms got much more manageable after that, to the point where it wasnāt nearly as debilitating as it had been.
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u/justhatchedtoday Oct 15 '25
Every day a different personality quirk of mine is revealed to be a symptom of ocd š„²
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u/surgirn9889 Oct 15 '25
same!! Itās honestly kind of validating, though. I just thought I had really awful anxiety that I was failing at controlling.
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u/AbbeyRoadMoonwalk Oct 16 '25
Me too I thought this was an anxiety thing, never woulda pegged it as OCD. Thank god I have both (and ADHD too)
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u/witchy_gremlin Oct 15 '25
Hello fellow ocd sufferers, letās assemble š«”
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u/Luna_Soma Platinum Summer š Oct 15 '25
My therapist was shocked I didnāt realize I have ocd. I thought it was all cleaning and keeping things in order. I didnāt know all the symptoms
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u/Gabbiedotduh clocking on business š¤ Oct 17 '25
Girl. Mine was shocked I didnāt know too since I was referred from my psychiatrist. She was like āwhy did you think we worked so hard on exposure therapy, breaking your rumination/what if cycles, and developing healthy coping skillsā. Me: š§
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u/Luna_Soma Platinum Summer š Oct 15 '25
I feel this way and thought it was just trauma and not my OCD. This makes me feel much better, itās just my broken brain
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Oct 16 '25
It's also PTSD. I stopped going outside for two years because I had a (tbh, founded in reality) conviction that if anything good happened to me ever, my life would explode, so the way to prevent this was to. Not have anything happen to me.
Turns out that's a delusion! Fixed with drugs and therapy
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u/languid_Disaster Oct 16 '25
I donāt have OCD (as far as I know š) but I do the same thing except instead of crying about dying the next day after something nice happening, I just resign myself. Which is part of my mental illness as well lol
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u/wolf_town ~Winona Forever~ Oct 15 '25
i was just about to say, this is a telltale symptom of OCD. i can never enjoy a moment because of the fear of an unknown future. itās debilitating honestly. i hope she knows her feelings are normal tho.
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u/Comfortable-Tie9293 Oct 16 '25
Reading these comments I just realized my mom has had OCD her whole life .Ā
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u/UndefeatedPunani The legislative act of my pussy āļø Oct 15 '25
Aye, fellow OCD peeps. Nothing like imagining 1000 problems that you never asked your brain to think of, over sometimes the smallest thing. Or my favorite, checking if I turned the stove off for the fifth effing time...
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u/jlynn12345 Oct 16 '25
The amount of times I was late for work because Iād drive back home to check the door was locked (it was literally always locked)
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u/awolfsvalentine Oct 16 '25
When I was little my OCD brain would wait until I was alone in the dark and say āhey do you know what we havenāt thought about yet today? Ghostsā
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u/technicolortiddies Oct 15 '25
Yeah I totally relate to this. In fact itās why my partner & I arenāt doing well right now. Every time something- anything happens I have to analyze the whole situation & see if anything has changed. Itās been great for work but horrid for any kind of relationship.
Edit- how does everyone deal with this? I was tested for OCD but the Drs. didnāt think I had it. Iām already in therapy weekly.
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u/twoweeeeks unhinged & unhealed Oct 15 '25
Antidepressants.
But also, something my therapist has taught me, if I catch myself in an obsessive behavior or thought, I ask, āIs this how I want to spend my time? Is there something else Iād rather be doing?ā Not a total obsession killer, but it seems to become more effective the more I do it.
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u/Rogue_2187 āØMay the Force be with you!āØ Oct 16 '25
Zoloft has been a game changer for me. I knew I had anxiety, but a psychiatrist finally diagnosed me with OCD. It made so much sense. I thought OCD was like being neat and orderly but I have the same intrusive thoughts Selena does. Amongst other things. But Iām on the lowest therapeutic dose of Zoloft and itās helped so much. Now it doesnāt take 30 minutes to leave my house because I need to check all the doors and windows and stove and oven and garage door.
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u/McFoley69 Oct 16 '25
Something thatās helped me is giving the OCD voice a dumb name, like when I start to get intrusive thought loops about a loved one getting violently maimed, I say āstfu DOOBERTā. It helps detach from these compulsive thoughts and reinforce the fact that itās just another unnecessary protective mechanism that my brain likes to deploy.
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u/Potatoskins937492 Oct 15 '25
It's not necessarily OCD. Just because people with OCD can have this feeling doesn't mean it's purely an OCD thing. I don't have this and I do have OCD. My depression can do similar things to me sometimes (like "I don't want to go out because no one there will like me anyway"), but it's about fighting against the liar that is my brain. If your therapist isn't practicing CBT and potentially DBT with you, ask them about it. Skills on top of skills + reframing your thoughts is an important piece of therapy if you struggle with internal conflict or clinical diagnoses.
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u/languid_Disaster Oct 16 '25
Yup! Other mental illnesses and issues have this as a feature unfortunately including people who has suffered trauma
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Oct 15 '25
Iām currently undergoing the intake process for proper psychiatric help but while on the waiting list I have read a book that really helped me āOvercoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorderā by David Veale and Rob Wilson. I got used copy from Amazon.
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u/medium_alison Oct 15 '25
Oh my God, same. I had my wedding recently and it was the most wonderful day of my life, I couldnāt have been happier, and I had a huge panic attack the next night about how everyone hated our wedding and we were going to get divorced. Love to experience Symptomsā¢ļø
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u/dddonnanoble Oct 15 '25
Waaaait I did not realize this could be an OCD compulsion. I got diagnosed with OCD earlier this year. Iāve just assumed that me thinking like this was caused more by my strict religious upbringing. But my psychiatrist said that my upbringing likely contributed to me developing OCD so then againā¦
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Oct 15 '25
The last year of my life has been one āoh shit, this thing Iāve been doing my entire life is actually mental illnessā realisation after another. I think many of us who are diagnosed with OCD in their late 20s/30s go through the same process!
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u/dddonnanoble Oct 15 '25
Yeah definitely! I havenāt even done any actual treatment for OCD (Iām in therapy but my therapist isnāt trained in treating OCD) but just the ability to identity that Iām experiencing an obsession and then doing compulsions is so helpful. I was diagnosed at age 36!
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Oct 16 '25
Ocd friend!
Welcome (and sorry) ā¤ļø
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Oct 16 '25
Thank you! Iād much rather know whatās wrong with me and work to cope better than continuing to feel like Iām crazy quietly! Being diagnosed is a blessing.
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u/Ygomaster07 Oct 16 '25 edited Oct 16 '25
I also have OCD(and depression and anxiety) and i have this same outlook.
Why was i downvoted for saying this?
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u/felina_ Oct 15 '25
I have this type of compulsive thought. How have folks dealt with it???
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u/space0pera_ Oct 16 '25
You have to just let it be there. Iām on a dream vacation now and having lots of intrusive thoughts and a sort of undercurrent of dread but Iām not letting it ruin the vacation. I pretend my brain is like a bundle of threads with some scary or upsetting threads and lots of nice happy threads from the cool things Iām experiencing. I just let the intrusive thoughts be their own threads that donāt take away from the happy threads. It still sucks a bit but way less than when I tried to fight them or push them away. Hope you are able to find some relief!
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u/jlynn12345 Oct 16 '25
I havenāt been diagnosed officially but I 100% know I have ocd and have been experiencing symptoms of it since early childhood. This is one of my big ones - I can never enjoy anything without thinking something bad is going to happen. Itās a rough way to live :/
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u/hauntingvacay96 Oct 15 '25
My mother use to say āif you laugh now, youāll cry laterā and I really took that to heart. Any joy that happens I worry about the bad thing that will follow. Itās hard. I feel for her here.
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u/Low-Attitude8331 Oct 15 '25
im sorry your mom said that, every child should be able to fully enjoy their joyful moments :(
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u/AcanthianVampire Itās Britney, bitch! š¤š¹š¹ Oct 15 '25
mindfulness helps for these types of thoughts.
I try to focus onĀ the immediate present -Ā instead of ruminating about the past (I'm not going that way) or worrying about the future (life is unpredictable for good and for bad) - we aren't psychic and the mind is great at writing personal horror stories about what could happen.
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u/aedithm Oct 15 '25
I 100% get this. I used to be exactly the same. I was always convinced my husband would die young because it took me so long to find him and he was my soulmate and we were so happy etc etc. Weirdly, it stopped happening when he DID die young, which is very strange. I guess it almost showed me that worrying about it all that time was pointless because it didnāt stop it from happening and it didnāt make it any easier when it did. So now I just live for today.
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u/kokopellii Oct 16 '25
Ok so this was actually not what I needed to read lmfao
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u/aedithm Oct 16 '25
lmao sorry, I see what you mean ā but I promise, me worrying about it neither made it happen nor prevented it from happening nor made it any easier when it did, so all it did was ruin some of the time I *did* have with him and if I could go back, I would make sure I didn't waste a second.
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Oct 15 '25
"that's a little life thing"
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Oct 15 '25
this woman has plenty of access to therapy, how has not one therapist addressed this? DONT NORMALIZE THIS
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u/popdrinking Oct 15 '25
I donāt have OCD or a physical illness. Just depression, anxiety, ADHD, and maybe a few other things. I completely relate to this, and have since I was 10. Good things mean bad things will happen.
I thought Selena also had a bipolar diagnosis so that could be part of it. If itās not official, it could have just been medication complications or something like that. I had a weird manic like episode a few years ago where I checked all the boxes for mania but have never again or since exhibited any signs of mania
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u/LaurelCanyoner Oct 16 '25
I have CPTSD and the only time I cry is when people are nice to me. If they compliment me, or try to comfort me, I lose it. I can experience the horrendous pain of endometriosis and adenomyosis for years, and never ever shed a tear, but I can't handle people treating me gently, It's something I never knew.
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u/Single_Earth_2973 Oct 15 '25
Thanks for sharing! Itās common for people whoāve been in an abusive relationship and exprienced the cycle of abuse. The honeymoon leads to tension leads to abuse and round and round. Itās an understandable protective mechanism and I think one most repeat trauma survivors ādo.ā
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u/little_effy Oct 16 '25
Itās called self sabotage. This means that her ācomfort zoneā is being messy and anxious. Growing up as a child star must not be easy, so maybe this is just the state that sheās used to.
It will take a lot of therapy for someone like her to get used to feeling happy and peaceful - sheās not used to it.
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u/thebatmanbeynd Oct 16 '25
I am like this also due to experience and it has always seemed to occur so far.
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u/CrunkaScrooge Oct 16 '25
I suffered some early life traumas side by side high points so I definitely know what she means. You just have to realize you canāt control everything and do your damndest to focus on right now.
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u/lizzledizzles charlie day is my bird lawyer š¦ Oct 15 '25
Thatās a little trauma and anxiety thing. I used to have the exact same feeling and fear. Therapy baby!
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u/LoudNoises89 Oct 15 '25
This really hits home for me. I rarely feel happy bc I think about the worst. Even when Iām experiencing something I feel numb sometimes like watching a beautiful sun rise. It makes me feel better to know Iām not the only one.
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u/irldani Oct 16 '25
I feel so seen. I have OCD and deal with this so much. I could have a fun event im going to or just something exciting going on in like a month and then im freaking out that I'm gonna die the next day. its so exhausting.
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u/awalawol Oct 15 '25 edited Oct 15 '25
My little sister and I have talked about how we do this, we call it āmourning in advance.ā We both deal with it by avoiding doing things we really want to because we fear the end.
A silly example I have is that I was a huge Series of Unfortunate Events fan as a kid. I was HYPED for the Netflix series. And Iāve still never watched it because I donāt want to be in a position where I finish it.
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u/DorianaGraye Oct 15 '25
I do this too! I think it falls under the umbrella of "anticipatory grief," and it's a real bitch.
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u/Lilacly_Adily In my quiet girl era š Oct 15 '25
It definitely falls under that term. Thereās a golden girls episode about the concept that I love.
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u/talkingllama90 Oct 16 '25
Thank you for teaching me the term! I do the same thing but didnāt know what it was called
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u/paper-goods Oct 15 '25
I call it "borrowing trouble (from the future)"! And I haven't finished a few tv series I love for the same reason too š
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u/dykezilla Oct 15 '25
I waited so long to finish a series I was excited about that when I finally decided to watch the last season the show wasn't even on the streaming platform anymore š
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u/johjo_has_opinions itās cause we hate him Ms. Dionne Oct 16 '25
I had to check if I had written this comment and forgotten because me too girly
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Oct 15 '25
Finishing it means you have now imprinted it in your memory forever. At the end of life, it seems people re-live their best moments. Make some good memories to re-live.
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Oct 15 '25
I was also a big fan of the books as a kid! And can attest that the Netflix series is amazing, Lemony was very involved in it and even answers a few questions from the books.
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u/TotallyBilboBuggins Oct 15 '25
I need an asmr channel that is just Lemony Snicket (Patrick Warburton) talking to me about absolutely anything he wants. He can read me the seven day weather forecast and I will slumber with the peace of babessssss.
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u/Single-Being-8263 Oct 15 '25
Same .there are so many series i haven't watched last season or last season last episode because I don't want it to be over.
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u/atotalmess__ free Palestine Oct 16 '25
Mine is that I ādaymareā about everything that can go wrong, going wrong.
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u/otter_759 Oct 15 '25
I am the same way with book series! I have a lot of series where I havenāt read the final book because I donāt want it to end despite counting down to release date. š
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u/dykezilla Oct 15 '25
There's a book series I love that I've been reading for over 20 years and the last 2 books have just been gathering dust on my shelf since they came out. I love these books enough to pre-order every new installment and then I can't bring myself to read them. Sometimes I stall by deciding to re-read the whole series from the beginning before I start the new one š³
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u/princess-sam3 Oct 15 '25
I genuinely thought I was so weird for this!! I read the 39 Clues series when I was younger but stopped at book 10, so I never found out how it ended so it never really āendsā
I have found my people ahaha
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u/Low-Attitude8331 Oct 15 '25
me too, i have a ticket for a concert next week. been waiting to see this artist for five years and now i really dont want to go because i dont want it to be over
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u/October_13th Pero to each their own. Oct 16 '25
Oooh yes I do this too. When Iām too excited for something I often donāt actually engage with it at all. Thereās like this mental block, and I donāt want it to disappoint me (if itās bad) or to end (if itās good.)
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u/UrsulaFoxxx Oct 16 '25
I push myself through this by remembering a quote I love āthe fear of suffering is often a worse experience than the anticipated suffering itselfā
And itās usually correct.
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u/CobwebAngel Oct 15 '25
Omg this is me because Iāve been avoiding the last episode of the Netflix series because I donāt want it to end
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u/Fightingdragonswithu Oct 15 '25
Watch it, itās amazing. You can always watch it again. Iāve watched it 3 times lol. Also Netflix may take it off one day
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u/Consistent_Tax_6436 Oct 16 '25
Omg yes!! I will binge a show in like a week and then just never watch the series finale because I donāt want it to be over. There are so many shows where I donāt know how they end š
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u/Dear-Variation17 Oct 16 '25
I've done the same thing withĀ Series of Unfortunate Events! I loved the books but I've never finished the series for the same reason! <3
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u/benoliver999 Oct 16 '25
I've never heard this said before, but I just realised I have been doing it my whole life in almost every facet of life
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u/AnonymousNothing1 Oct 17 '25
Side note, I watched the whole series with a friend of mine! It was honestly pretty good if I recall correctly, Iād recommend if you ever get around to it!
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u/lbpurple Oct 15 '25
I feel the same way. Itās why I love Kacey Musgraveās āHappy & Sadā song so much. But there are lots of good things that stick around and just as happy can go, sad things will too š
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u/wolf_town ~Winona Forever~ Oct 15 '25
will be listening, i cried listening to āoh what a worldā from a tiktok video.
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u/TiredJJ it always scares them to see hot girl solidarity Oct 16 '25
Seconding the previous comment, that entire album is the first and basically only country album I've ever enjoyed, it's so soft and magical
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u/ndp12345 Oct 16 '25
I was thinking of that song when I saw this headline pop up. Such a beautiful song and kind of nice to see how much others relate to it.
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u/buzzfeed_sucks šØš¦ Elbows up šØš¦ Oct 15 '25
Same. Iām always like āok now whatās going to go wrong.ā Whenever something good happens.
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u/RoxyRebels Oct 15 '25 edited Oct 15 '25
It's a trauma response, I'm the same way. Always waiting for the 'bad' thing to happen when life seems to be going really well. It's because we were traumatized during a happy, or safe moment in our past.
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u/IceBlueAngel Oct 16 '25
Yeah, not to diminish the people saying OCD, but this kind of thinking is much more of a CPTSD, Bipolar, BPD thing.
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u/MissMorticia89 Oct 15 '25
As someone who had to look death in the face at 26 because of a congenital heart defect that went south very quickly, I get it. I struggle being happy about things too because I am constantly afraid that I either donāt deserve it, or itās going to go away.
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u/Ygomaster07 Oct 16 '25
Sorry if this is too personal, but did they ever cure the heart defect? Or do you still have to live with it every day?
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u/MissMorticia89 Oct 16 '25
I had to have a complete resection of the right half of my heart, and they did correct the defect. They also found a trashed pulmonic valve and had to place a pig valve, soā¦yes and no? Like thereās still the potential for failure down the line.
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u/Ygomaster07 Oct 16 '25
Oh wow. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. So you still have to deal with death in some way even now. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm wishing you the best of luck in your health.
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u/Colten95 Oct 15 '25
I have bipolar disorder as well and I use this same kind of thinking. Your whole life has proven that the ups are followed by downs, it kind of becomes an expected pattern
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u/VvvlvvV āØMay the Force be with you!āØ Oct 15 '25
I have bipolar 2 and an ex that would spike the abuse whenever I was doing the best.Ā
Its so hard to trust excitement and happiness. But I think I'm starting to again.Ā
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u/strawberryjacuzzis Oct 15 '25
Very relatable as someone with CPTSD/childhood trauma. I feel like happiness is too unfamiliar and always temporary because something bad would always happen to ruin it. Like bad things happening was the baseline and the inevitable reality, and happiness was only a temporary break before it was ripped away I had to go back to the bad things.
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u/FrozenRose_816 Itās a bad idea right? Maybe. Probably. Definitely. š¬ Oct 15 '25
It sounds like trauma that's likely related to having to get the kidney transplant and/or having a potentially life-threatening autoimmune disease. I'm dealing with an ongoing health situation and I can understand how that line of thinking happens, because I've been there myself tbh.
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Oct 15 '25
I have chronic illness and as a result, severe depression. I understand how she feels. Nothing, even great things, are exciting anymore because the day will come, and Iāll be throwing up in a corner somewhere instead of enjoying. So why bother at this point I guess
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u/Curiosities š swamp princess š Oct 15 '25
She's also dealt with a period of psychosis and bipolar.
I get it. I have c/PTSD and anxiety, and depression, and MS and everything good feels like it can't be trusted. I just finished an appointment with my psychiatrist, so I get care at least.
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u/tew2109 Oct 15 '25
Also C-PTSD, anxiety, depression, and a chronic condition (in my case interstitial cystitis, likely caused by the never-ending UTIs I started getting as a toddler at the hands of my father). It's a real fun mix! LOL. I have therapy twice a week and a standing bi-monthly appointment with my psychiatrist. I don't think I've EVER trusted anything good. I don't know that I've ever actually felt safe. I'm not entirely sure what that would feel like. It's like seeing someone have a good relationship with their father. I want that for everyone, and I truly mean that. I love seeing good fathers. I want nothing more than for everyone to have parents they can trust and rely on. But when I actually SEE it, or hear my friends talking about it...it's kind of like a language I don't speak at all.
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u/popdrinking Oct 15 '25
You put that so articulately, I complete relate to that feeling of a language I donāt speak at all
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u/Curiosities š swamp princess š Oct 15 '25
Oof, this is relatable in many ways. When I started seeing my therapist, one day early on he asked me to think about something that made me feel safe and I basically said "what's that?". Been working on that, but it's still kind of as you say. I'm genuinely happy for others who have good personal relationships, and get things they need. And it's like the least understandable thing while I'm here with my vigilance waiting for the next thing to overwhelm me.
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u/tew2109 Oct 15 '25
I was just asked that by my therapist! Iām working on EMDR and she was talking about my safe place, somewhere I always felt safe, and itās likeā¦ ::footage not found::
Honestly one of the funniest and most ridiculous things is when people try to tell me to start online dating. LMAO. Iām glad when it works out for others but for ME? Have you lost your mind? Do you know how much trust I need to have in a person to even allow them to touch me? And how long that trust takes to build? You think Iām going to just goā¦meet some rando from the internet??? You could also suggest I jump into an active volcano, since thatās about as likely. Also, I never said I WANTED a spouse, so I donāt know why it keeps getting suggested, lol. Self-awareness is thankfully something I was blessed with, so Iām very aware I would not make the worldās best partner.
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u/VanGoghNotVanGo Oct 15 '25
When you are bipolar that feeling is also low-key true. Not in like black and white terms, but you will often find that the days you feel the most energised and happy immediately precede the days your world comes crashing down in deep depression. That wires your brain to expect - even generate - emotional crashes after big, high arousal moments - like a wedding.Ā
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u/nonsensestuff Back in my day, we had ONTD & a dream šµ Oct 15 '25
I feel this too! Even for as much success as sheās had, sheās still young and Iām sure there are real fears about trying to keep up and what happens if she no longer can do it.
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u/Single_Earth_2973 Oct 15 '25
Iām sorry all of you feel this way too, it sometimes feels like Iām in a protective shell of depression. Why get your hope up? I was assaulted again a couple of years ago (apparently itās 7 times for likely to happen again if it happens once) after getting my life to a really good place. It was really devastating but Iāve also come such a HUGE way in that time and Iād like to keep healing and try to enjoy the good that comes and not just foreshadow the bad.
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u/HashItOutBeesKnees Oct 15 '25
yes - fellow kidney transplant recipient with massive trauma that manifested in uncontrollable emotions in inappropriate scenarios
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u/YourVelcroCat Oct 15 '25
Oh man, it seems like she's dealing with some serious anxiety :( so many of us know the feelingĀ
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u/biIIyshakes fake redhead apologist Oct 15 '25
me when i wont try a new limited time menu item at Taco Bell because what if i really like it:
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u/Alizarik7891 Oct 15 '25
looool I was getting so emotional empathizing with other comments and then you pull out the actual tragedy
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u/keatonpotat0es I have to pick up 15,000 little bastard rubber ducks šŖæ Oct 16 '25
Exactly this. Canāt get too attached.
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Oct 15 '25
Post wedding blues is a really common thing to experience. So much build up and anticipation for so long! And then it's over so quickly!
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u/Burrito-tuesday Oct 15 '25
Thatās not what she meant. She explained a very specifically feeling that if something good happens, something bad WILL happen next. She said that she felt like she was soooooooo happy on her wedding day, and was afraid sheād die the next.
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Oct 15 '25 edited Oct 15 '25
That doesn't negate that post wedding blues are common and probably* played into that feeling for her.
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u/Burrito-tuesday Oct 15 '25
Where in the article does she imply that itās partly due to the post wedding blues?????? Itās a short article, it shouldnāt be hard to miss.
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Oct 15 '25
I just said it's a common thing to experience and her feelings about being really low after being joyful are also common after weddings.
Love how you know exactly what she meant by the very short article, but no one else can possibly relate lol
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u/Burrito-tuesday Oct 15 '25
I just donāt understand why you insist that itās partly due to post wedding blues when sheās talking about the feeling of anxiety she feels when something good happens. She only mentions the wedding since itās the most recent example she can point to.
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Oct 15 '25
All I said was it was a common feeling to experience and you think I'm putting words in Selena's mouth lol
Selena, that u? /s
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u/keatonpotat0es I have to pick up 15,000 little bastard rubber ducks šŖæ Oct 16 '25
I spent the day after my wedding crying too, lol. What a ride.
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u/Ok_Construction_3733 Oct 15 '25
I can relate. Anytime I experience joy or excitement in my life my first thought is: I wonder how long this gonna last or when the next life catastrophe will happenā¦
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u/Itstimeforcookies19 Oct 15 '25
Given her health condition I think this makes sense. I feel for her. I do this just from an obsessive thinking way of if things are too good is something bad going to happen. So I can only imagine what itās like for someone with a chronic illness like hers.
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u/BigMotor5003 Oct 15 '25
The way things are going this year, I really can't blame her. I feel the same.
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u/GlotzbachsToast Oct 15 '25
Siri, play Happy and Sad by Kacey Musgraves
But seriously, this is so relatable. Itās so hard to get over the anxiety that when something good is happening to/for you that something bad is lingering around the corner.
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u/FriendlyDrummers Oct 15 '25
I also have bipolar, and it was a frequent fear as well. The meds might stop working. It was a relief from the lowest of lows in my mental health
I appreciate her honesty
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Oct 15 '25
You know what? This is actually how I feel about everything good in my life. It all feels fleeting. That everything and everyone I love will eventually go away or be spoiled somehow. Itās kinda crippling actually.
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u/ComplexBluebird2455 Oct 15 '25
There is a place in the heart that will never be filled
a space
and even during the best moments and the greatest times
we will know it
we will know it more than ever
there is a place in the heart that will never be filled and
we will wait and wait
in that space.
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u/Alchia79 Oct 16 '25
This is me. Iām constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was much worse when I first became a mother. I have a hard time enjoying the moment because I think itās all going to blow up in a momemt. Iāve been medicated for about 5 years so that helps. Therapy didnāt really help.
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u/wendythestoryteller Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion š Oct 16 '25
Iāve been like this my whole life. Anytime something good happens, I wait for something bad to happen.
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u/Carolina_Blues shiv royās bob Oct 15 '25
I struggle with this so much and Iāve been working on it in therapy
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u/deadplant5 Oct 15 '25
I can really relate to this. If you are used to instability, it's hard to trust happy times. In some ways living in the chaos is easier.
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u/Just_Dont88 Oct 15 '25
Iāve always felt that way. It really hit me when finally had be best job, got engaged and not even 6 months after I was diagnosed with acute leukemia and to top that off my fiancĆ© left me 7 months into my treatmentsā¦. My dad was also diagnosed terminally with his lungs about a year before that and about a year before that my wonderful pawpaw (my dadās dad) passed. Iāve had a rough 3 last years. So yeah, trying to enjoy life sometimes can be a challenge.
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Oct 15 '25
When I started dating my current partner who is so amazing to me, it triggered similar thoughts. āOh boy, I am so happy! I wonder how I will ruin it this time?ā
In an unrelated note, I was later diagnosed with depression and PTSD
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u/pfffffttuhmm Holy forking shirtballs. Oct 16 '25
I was worried about how getting married would affect her bipolar disorder. That disease can steal your joy. I hope she can navigate this with loved ones supporting her. Something tells me that Benny will absolutely be there for her.
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u/nonsensestuff Back in my day, we had ONTD & a dream šµ Oct 15 '25
Iām not sure what her childhood was likeā but I feel this deeply, because my experience growing up was so unstable and even when it felt like my family finally got to a good place, my dad had a stroke and we lost everything š£š„ŗ
Even as an adult where Iāve created my own stability and have a decently comfortable life with my husband, I still have fears that Iāll lose everything Iāve worked hard forā¦ 2020 and this year have been especially difficult to navigate with those feelings of uncertainty and so much feeling outside of our control.
I just try to remind myself Iāve always managed to survive and figure out a way to overcome difficult things in the past. I try to have trust with myself and my strengths and abilities more.
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u/itsfrankgrimesyo Oct 16 '25
Itās like people who avoid love and happiness because they think it wonāt last. Not the greatest mindset but I get it.
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u/closet-panda Oct 16 '25
I donāt think I have any serious health issues and I have thing for when people are more then 15 minutes late that I start dreading that theyāve died. My parents tried explaining that they would die someday when I was like 6 or 7 and most of my limited understanding of people dying was probably dateline and that show is all about people not coming home on time in some way. So because 7 year old me couldnāt understand that people didnāt necessarily die horribly and suddenly, I have an automatic coping mechanism for when people are late where I start to accept that they might be dead. If I can have nothing wrong with me and be like this I can see how someone like Selena Gomez with chronic health issues has a similar quirk in a very broad sense. If I was sick a lot Iād probably experience dread all the time. Thank god for zoom though, I donāt get affected by people being late on zoom.
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Oct 19 '25
It's hilarious that Selena Gomez could buy and sell every single person on the Only Murders in the Building set several times, and that includes Steve Martin and Martin Short. $2 billion dollars? WTF?
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u/yoyok36 Oct 16 '25
My heart hurts for her because I'm like this too. And there's nothing anyone can say or do to change our mind about this. We just live with it.
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u/Sircapleviluv Excluded from this narrative ā Oct 16 '25
This makes so much sense to me. My mom said when I was little even it was hard to get me excited about anything because I never got too hyped since I was afraid of having to try to convince them I wasnāt disappointed since I assumed it wouldnāt end up happening (there was no like economic reason for this or a history of them disappointing me in that way)
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u/meshuggas Oct 16 '25
I feel this. I got married and a month later my best friend died and that year was the worst of my life.
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