r/popculturechat • u/Playful_Wonder_5205 • Oct 15 '25

Selena Gomez šŸ’– Selena Gomez Says She Has Difficulty 'Enjoying Things' for Fear Joy Will 'Go Away': 'I Got Married and Then I Was Sobbing'

https://people.com/selena-gomez-hard-enjoying-things-i-got-married-then-i-was-sobbing-11830434
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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25 edited Oct 15 '25

Iā€™m like this and recently found out I have OCD, Iā€™ve also personally had the worst things and best things in my life happen side by side twice now so I understand what sheā€™s saying entirely.

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u/onmywheels nooooooooooooo šŸ’…šŸ¼ Oct 15 '25

It's also a "I have an incurable disease" thing. I have the same autoimmune disease she does (lupus; along with a few other ailments, because they do tend to accumulate) and it's crazy what it can do to your outlook on life. I remember being obsessed with the life expectancy percentages when I got diagnosed. When I reached five years, it felt like a miracle lol.

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u/justlurkingnjudging Oct 15 '25

Not being able to depend on your body has such an impact on your mindset and mental wellbeing. Mine donā€™t really impact life expectancy but still Iā€™ll have a few great days and then suddenly everything is flaring up and Iā€™m doing bad again.

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u/Lifeismeh123 Oct 15 '25

Same here. I never thought Iā€™d make it to 30. Iā€™m now 36. Itā€™s wild when your body is shitting out on you from a young age. So traumatic too.Ā 

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u/meggygogo Oct 15 '25

I can relate. I have Sjogrens and this is how I feel

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u/Maleficent-Radish433 Oct 16 '25

As someone who also has Sjogrens, hard agree

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u/gravytrain2012 Oct 16 '25

Mine started this year and itā€™s flipped my whole life upside down :( itā€™s still mild luckily and sometimes I forget just how much Iā€™ve been through and feel guilty for being so stuck; then I notice my nerves burning as Iā€™m sitting at my desk and remember Iā€™m in a bad dream I never woke up from.

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u/kattylovesfoood Oct 16 '25

Me too as a fellow Sjogrens person that got diagnosed at 19

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u/Other_Review5551 Oct 16 '25

Yesss and grief!

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u/vanillasheep Hatfished to the gods. Oct 15 '25

Came here to say hiiii I have OCD and this is very much an OCD compulsion.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25

Itā€™s wild to find out Iā€™m not just a catastrophising worrier and I am in fact mentally ill, oddly comforting actually.

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u/curtmahgurt Oct 16 '25

I have OCD. When I was little, I didnā€™t know what it was, so always just assumed I was weird/broken somehow. Then someone explained OCD to me, and it all just kind of clicked. It was so comforting knowing that I had a documented thing that lots of other people deal with, and I didnā€™t have to hide it or be embarrassed about it. My symptoms got much more manageable after that, to the point where it wasnā€™t nearly as debilitating as it had been.

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u/justhatchedtoday Oct 15 '25

Every day a different personality quirk of mine is revealed to be a symptom of ocd šŸ„²

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u/surgirn9889 Oct 15 '25

same!! Itā€™s honestly kind of validating, though. I just thought I had really awful anxiety that I was failing at controlling.

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u/AbbeyRoadMoonwalk Oct 16 '25

Me too I thought this was an anxiety thing, never woulda pegged it as OCD. Thank god I have both (and ADHD too)

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

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u/wolf_town ~Winona Forever~ Oct 15 '25

haha same šŸ«‚

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

I thought I was super unique but nah it's šŸŖ„ ....OCD

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u/witchy_gremlin Oct 15 '25

Hello fellow ocd sufferers, letā€™s assemble šŸ«”

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u/Luna_Soma Platinum Summer šŸ’Ž Oct 15 '25

My therapist was shocked I didnā€™t realize I have ocd. I thought it was all cleaning and keeping things in order. I didnā€™t know all the symptoms

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u/Gabbiedotduh clocking on business šŸ˜¤ Oct 17 '25

Girl. Mine was shocked I didnā€™t know too since I was referred from my psychiatrist. She was like ā€œwhy did you think we worked so hard on exposure therapy, breaking your rumination/what if cycles, and developing healthy coping skillsā€. Me: šŸ˜§

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

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u/Luna_Soma Platinum Summer šŸ’Ž Oct 15 '25

I feel this way and thought it was just trauma and not my OCD. This makes me feel much better, itā€™s just my broken brain

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u/AbbeyRoadMoonwalk Oct 16 '25

Oh my goddd this is OCD? Crap. I have that. And I always do this.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

It's also PTSD. I stopped going outside for two years because I had a (tbh, founded in reality) conviction that if anything good happened to me ever, my life would explode, so the way to prevent this was to. Not have anything happen to me.

Turns out that's a delusion! Fixed with drugs and therapy

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u/languid_Disaster Oct 16 '25

I donā€™t have OCD (as far as I know šŸ‘€) but I do the same thing except instead of crying about dying the next day after something nice happening, I just resign myself. Which is part of my mental illness as well lol

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u/puppypooper15 Oct 15 '25

Happy OCD Awareness Month to all who celebrate lol

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u/NotEmmaStone Oct 15 '25

I am a prisoner of my own mind šŸ˜…

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u/wolf_town ~Winona Forever~ Oct 15 '25

i was just about to say, this is a telltale symptom of OCD. i can never enjoy a moment because of the fear of an unknown future. itā€™s debilitating honestly. i hope she knows her feelings are normal tho.

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u/Comfortable-Tie9293 Oct 16 '25

Reading these comments I just realized my mom has had OCD her whole life .Ā 

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u/UndefeatedPunani The legislative act of my pussy āš–ļø Oct 15 '25

Aye, fellow OCD peeps. Nothing like imagining 1000 problems that you never asked your brain to think of, over sometimes the smallest thing. Or my favorite, checking if I turned the stove off for the fifth effing time...

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u/jlynn12345 Oct 16 '25

The amount of times I was late for work because Iā€™d drive back home to check the door was locked (it was literally always locked)

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u/awolfsvalentine Oct 16 '25

When I was little my OCD brain would wait until I was alone in the dark and say ā€œhey do you know what we havenā€™t thought about yet today? Ghostsā€

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u/adom12 Oct 15 '25

People have no idea how bad OCD is. Hoping you get some relief now ā¤ļø

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u/technicolortiddies Oct 15 '25

Yeah I totally relate to this. In fact itā€™s why my partner & I arenā€™t doing well right now. Every time something- anything happens I have to analyze the whole situation & see if anything has changed. Itā€™s been great for work but horrid for any kind of relationship.

Edit- how does everyone deal with this? I was tested for OCD but the Drs. didnā€™t think I had it. Iā€™m already in therapy weekly.

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u/twoweeeeks unhinged & unhealed Oct 15 '25

Antidepressants.

But also, something my therapist has taught me, if I catch myself in an obsessive behavior or thought, I ask, ā€œIs this how I want to spend my time? Is there something else Iā€™d rather be doing?ā€ Not a total obsession killer, but it seems to become more effective the more I do it.

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u/Rogue_2187 āœØMay the Force be with you!āœØ Oct 16 '25

Zoloft has been a game changer for me. I knew I had anxiety, but a psychiatrist finally diagnosed me with OCD. It made so much sense. I thought OCD was like being neat and orderly but I have the same intrusive thoughts Selena does. Amongst other things. But Iā€™m on the lowest therapeutic dose of Zoloft and itā€™s helped so much. Now it doesnā€™t take 30 minutes to leave my house because I need to check all the doors and windows and stove and oven and garage door.

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u/McFoley69 Oct 16 '25

Something thatā€™s helped me is giving the OCD voice a dumb name, like when I start to get intrusive thought loops about a loved one getting violently maimed, I say ā€œstfu DOOBERTā€. It helps detach from these compulsive thoughts and reinforce the fact that itā€™s just another unnecessary protective mechanism that my brain likes to deploy.

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u/Potatoskins937492 Oct 15 '25

It's not necessarily OCD. Just because people with OCD can have this feeling doesn't mean it's purely an OCD thing. I don't have this and I do have OCD. My depression can do similar things to me sometimes (like "I don't want to go out because no one there will like me anyway"), but it's about fighting against the liar that is my brain. If your therapist isn't practicing CBT and potentially DBT with you, ask them about it. Skills on top of skills + reframing your thoughts is an important piece of therapy if you struggle with internal conflict or clinical diagnoses.

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u/languid_Disaster Oct 16 '25

Yup! Other mental illnesses and issues have this as a feature unfortunately including people who has suffered trauma

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25

Iā€™m currently undergoing the intake process for proper psychiatric help but while on the waiting list I have read a book that really helped me ā€œOvercoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorderā€ by David Veale and Rob Wilson. I got used copy from Amazon.

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u/PuzzledPaint8915 Oct 17 '25

Not to be like everyone has ADHD but I have OCD/ADHD (maybe autism who knows?) I was very much this way and it wasnā€™t until my adhd diagnosis and being medicated could I separate this stuff out from each other. I still do all of this but my husband is much more patient and gets what my brain is trying to do (keep me safe).

So if the diagnosis doesnā€™t fit maybe keep looking? Anti depressants never helped me unless it was an SNRI. However I didnā€™t even comprehend ADHD until after I gave birth and my husband was like maybe this is you?

I also have complex trauma so it all kinda jumbles together but itā€™s MUCH easier to know how to tackle it as a couple when you understand how your brain works.

I wish you luck and I also found a great therapist who is neuro affirming and helps me with chronic illness stuff.

It takes time but we get thereā€¦.kinda?

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u/medium_alison Oct 15 '25

Oh my God, same. I had my wedding recently and it was the most wonderful day of my life, I couldnā€™t have been happier, and I had a huge panic attack the next night about how everyone hated our wedding and we were going to get divorced. Love to experience Symptomsā„¢ļø

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u/dddonnanoble Oct 15 '25

Waaaait I did not realize this could be an OCD compulsion. I got diagnosed with OCD earlier this year. Iā€™ve just assumed that me thinking like this was caused more by my strict religious upbringing. But my psychiatrist said that my upbringing likely contributed to me developing OCD so then againā€¦

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25

The last year of my life has been one ā€œoh shit, this thing Iā€™ve been doing my entire life is actually mental illnessā€ realisation after another. I think many of us who are diagnosed with OCD in their late 20s/30s go through the same process!

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u/dddonnanoble Oct 15 '25

Yeah definitely! I havenā€™t even done any actual treatment for OCD (Iā€™m in therapy but my therapist isnā€™t trained in treating OCD) but just the ability to identity that Iā€™m experiencing an obsession and then doing compulsions is so helpful. I was diagnosed at age 36!

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u/mushroom_gorge Oct 15 '25

Was also going to say this sounds exactly like OCD

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

Ocd friend!

Welcome (and sorry) ā¤ļø

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

Thank you! Iā€™d much rather know whatā€™s wrong with me and work to cope better than continuing to feel like Iā€™m crazy quietly! Being diagnosed is a blessing.

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u/Ygomaster07 Oct 16 '25 edited Oct 16 '25

I also have OCD(and depression and anxiety) and i have this same outlook.

Why was i downvoted for saying this?

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u/felina_ Oct 15 '25

I have this type of compulsive thought. How have folks dealt with it???

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u/space0pera_ Oct 16 '25

You have to just let it be there. Iā€™m on a dream vacation now and having lots of intrusive thoughts and a sort of undercurrent of dread but Iā€™m not letting it ruin the vacation. I pretend my brain is like a bundle of threads with some scary or upsetting threads and lots of nice happy threads from the cool things Iā€™m experiencing. I just let the intrusive thoughts be their own threads that donā€™t take away from the happy threads. It still sucks a bit but way less than when I tried to fight them or push them away. Hope you are able to find some relief!

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u/jlynn12345 Oct 16 '25

I havenā€™t been diagnosed officially but I 100% know I have ocd and have been experiencing symptoms of it since early childhood. This is one of my big ones - I can never enjoy anything without thinking something bad is going to happen. Itā€™s a rough way to live :/

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u/UnhappyInformation7 Oct 16 '25

I'm diagnosed with OCD and this was my most prominent symptom I had to work in CBT. It's heartbreaking.

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u/KaleidoscopeEast1108 Oct 16 '25

Yes! I didn't realize until I talked to a psychologist and she explained catastrophic thinking

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u/skitheweest Oct 16 '25

Literally my first thought was ā€œdoes she know she has ocdā€ lol

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u/kylaroma Kelly Clarkson put me in danger Oct 16 '25

Yuuup! Itā€™s that ā€œIā€™m doomedā€ thinking, and itā€™s so hard to deal with

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u/space0pera_ Oct 16 '25

Same! I actually googled if she had OCD since it feels like such a hallmark symptom.

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u/chouzswans Oct 16 '25

While coming back from a fabulous vacation with friends: "we're all going to die in this plane crash"

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u/echoesandripples What It's Like to Go Through Life As a Really Beautiful Woman Oct 15 '25

i've been diagnosed with ocd since i was like 7 (i'm 32) and trying to understand my patterns has been challenging, but rewarding due to situations like these

it's also very common for people to have ocd comorbidities. isn't she bipolar?

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

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u/Twitter_2006 Oct 15 '25

I agree with this as I relate to it as well.

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u/hauntingvacay96 Oct 15 '25

My mother use to say ā€œif you laugh now, youā€™ll cry laterā€ and I really took that to heart. Any joy that happens I worry about the bad thing that will follow. Itā€™s hard. I feel for her here.

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u/Low-Attitude8331 Oct 15 '25

im sorry your mom said that, every child should be able to fully enjoy their joyful moments :(

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u/AcanthianVampire Itā€™s Britney, bitch! šŸŽ¤šŸŒ¹šŸŒ¹ Oct 15 '25

mindfulness helps for these types of thoughts.

I try to focus onĀ the immediate present -Ā  instead of ruminating about the past (I'm not going that way) or worrying about the future (life is unpredictable for good and for bad) - we aren't psychic and the mind is great at writing personal horror stories about what could happen.

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u/aedithm Oct 15 '25

I 100% get this. I used to be exactly the same. I was always convinced my husband would die young because it took me so long to find him and he was my soulmate and we were so happy etc etc. Weirdly, it stopped happening when he DID die young, which is very strange. I guess it almost showed me that worrying about it all that time was pointless because it didnā€™t stop it from happening and it didnā€™t make it any easier when it did. So now I just live for today.

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u/kokopellii Oct 16 '25

Ok so this was actually not what I needed to read lmfao

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u/aedithm Oct 16 '25

lmao sorry, I see what you mean ā€“ but I promise, me worrying about it neither made it happen nor prevented it from happening nor made it any easier when it did, so all it did was ruin some of the time I *did* have with him and if I could go back, I would make sure I didn't waste a second.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25

"that's a little life thing"

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25

this woman has plenty of access to therapy, how has not one therapist addressed this? DONT NORMALIZE THIS

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u/longlisten527 a ship - a magnificent ship - full of gay men and me šŸ’… Oct 15 '25

My anxiety fr

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u/kaleyboo7 āœØMay the Force be with you!āœØ Oct 15 '25

I totally understand how she feels.

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u/popdrinking Oct 15 '25

I donā€™t have OCD or a physical illness. Just depression, anxiety, ADHD, and maybe a few other things. I completely relate to this, and have since I was 10. Good things mean bad things will happen.

I thought Selena also had a bipolar diagnosis so that could be part of it. If itā€™s not official, it could have just been medication complications or something like that. I had a weird manic like episode a few years ago where I checked all the boxes for mania but have never again or since exhibited any signs of mania

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u/LaurelCanyoner Oct 16 '25

I have CPTSD and the only time I cry is when people are nice to me. If they compliment me, or try to comfort me, I lose it. I can experience the horrendous pain of endometriosis and adenomyosis for years, and never ever shed a tear, but I can't handle people treating me gently, It's something I never knew.

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u/vainthestral Oct 15 '25

I have OCD and relate :)

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u/Single_Earth_2973 Oct 15 '25

Thanks for sharing! Itā€™s common for people whoā€™ve been in an abusive relationship and exprienced the cycle of abuse. The honeymoon leads to tension leads to abuse and round and round. Itā€™s an understandable protective mechanism and I think one most repeat trauma survivors ā€œdo.ā€

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u/little_effy Oct 16 '25

Itā€™s called self sabotage. This means that her ā€œcomfort zoneā€ is being messy and anxious. Growing up as a child star must not be easy, so maybe this is just the state that sheā€™s used to.

It will take a lot of therapy for someone like her to get used to feeling happy and peaceful - sheā€™s not used to it.

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u/thebatmanbeynd Oct 16 '25

I am like this also due to experience and it has always seemed to occur so far.

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u/CrunkaScrooge Oct 16 '25

I suffered some early life traumas side by side high points so I definitely know what she means. You just have to realize you canā€™t control everything and do your damndest to focus on right now.

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u/lizzledizzles charlie day is my bird lawyer šŸ¦ Oct 15 '25

Thatā€™s a little trauma and anxiety thing. I used to have the exact same feeling and fear. Therapy baby!

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u/Lovelitchi_in_pink go girl, give us nothing šŸ˜ Oct 15 '25

I completely relate to this

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u/LoudNoises89 Oct 15 '25

This really hits home for me. I rarely feel happy bc I think about the worst. Even when Iā€™m experiencing something I feel numb sometimes like watching a beautiful sun rise. It makes me feel better to know Iā€™m not the only one.

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u/neighborhoodcardinal Oct 16 '25

Prozac cured this part of me thankfully

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u/irldani Oct 16 '25

I feel so seen. I have OCD and deal with this so much. I could have a fun event im going to or just something exciting going on in like a month and then im freaking out that I'm gonna die the next day. its so exhausting.

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u/SeanSweetMuzik Were people doing coke in your bathroom? Oct 16 '25

I am exactly like this too. Unfortunately, my experience has always been that something good happens and I try to enjoy it and something horrible always happens.