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u/SadlyNotPro 3d ago
Who's gonna tell them the names don't have to be unique. Real life isn't a World of Warcraft servr, where you need to be xXZephyrXx.
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u/Seffyr 3d ago edited 3d ago
You wanna know how I landed on the alias “Seffyr”?
World of Warcraft when I was a kid.
I used the one month trial you get when you purchase the game to make an account. I wanted “Zephyr” but it was taken, so I landed on “Sephyr”.
Being a stupid kid though I linked it to an email I couldn’t remember the password to and got myself locked out, so I had to make a new account. And since “Zephyr” and now “Sephyr” were taken, I went with “Seffyr” and that was my main from BC through to the end of WoD when I quit, and has been my online alias for a few decades now.My entire online identity is based very specifically on “Zephyr” being taken on World of Warcraft.
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u/Karnewarrior 3d ago
Mine is sourced from a fictional universe I began developing in Elementary School, with the central continent shaped like a big mitten handprint. I've continued to develop this universe for the remainder of my life - I could literally just talk about it for actual hours.
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u/Both-Conversation514 2d ago
“Fictional universe” you’ve been developing for your entire life and it’s just Michigan
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u/ImportantChemistry53 2d ago
Mine is from the Reddit randomizer.
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u/thegreatpotatogod 1d ago
What, you mean you haven't been doing important chemistry with Iodine this whole time? But we keep sending you more iodine to experiment with!
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u/BeccaThePixel 2d ago
Genuine question, are you an author or at least dm‘ing a DnD group? If the answer is no, maybe give it a shot.
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u/Karnewarrior 2d ago
I write, but I'm not an author. I've tried to do it, but I always fumble the connections between epic scenes.
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u/ryanidsteel 3d ago
That's some nameology there.
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u/Fish-With-Pants 3d ago
Mines because when I was 15 I was high, eating goldfish, and only wearing pants. Wanted to change my name on Xbox. Now I’m FishWithPants
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u/Both-Shape4961 2d ago
Sorry, I'm a Brit and d my first thought was, "You were doing what!!!"
Then I remembered the West Wing episode where CJ got a goldfish and remembered that they're a cracker, like Ritz. 😥
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u/cotchrocket 2d ago
Mine is from waaaaay back when I was a young marine. My first name is Courtney, but only a few people knew that, going mostly by last names. Anyway, I hadn’t had much experience drinking and there was a few people getting together at the E- Club, which was a a small building in the parking lot of our barracks. Someone had made punch in a water cooler and I had two BIG solo cups of it. I found out later that said punch was mostly everclear! The life lesson is to be cautious with drinks made by New Orleans natives. So, seeing as I could only manage about 70 degrees of angle from the ground, I decided to head home, the barracks in the parking lot of the building I stumbled out of. I managed to get lost and realized I needed a bathroom. I couldn’t find one, as I also could barely find my right hand with my left, so I chose to squat by a nearby tree. I dropped my pants and proceeded to defecate into my own underwear. Stood up, pulling said soiled garments back into place, and continued on my mission to find the barracks. Which I finally did with the sudden assistance from my colleagues. You see, this entire adventure happened in full view of the window of the E- Club. The maneuver of dropping trou, and then shitting into your own pants became known as “the Courtney Crouch” which got shortened to Cotch, my nickname from then until forever.
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u/PerformanceThat6150 3d ago
So they can spell Zephyr correctly, but would still choose the "I'm absolutely hammered at 4am" spelling.
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u/Healthy_Part_7184 3d ago
Why do people hate their kids so much
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u/behindtheash 14h ago
I can already hear this kid getting the snot beaten out of them thy their classmates.
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u/Zirkulaerkubus 3d ago
I'm so glad my country requires giving newborns actual names and rejects nonsense like this.
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u/MainlineX 3d ago
That kid will hate their parents for this.
Can you imagine putting that name at the top of a resume?
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u/Delicious-Spring-877 3d ago
This kid’s not gonna know how to say his own name because every teacher who reads it won’t even try to pronounce it and he’ll learn to say “here” in response to a look of utter confusion
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u/A_Trash_Homosapien 3d ago
I always knew the teacher got to me when they hesitated. Everyone else they can just rattle off easily but there was always a pause when they got to me.
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u/Delicious-Spring-877 3d ago
Lol, my first name is simple but I have a slightly long surname (not even that long, some ppl are just cowardly readers) so I know exactly what the pause sounds like
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u/Karnewarrior 3d ago
I'm in a similar boat. My surname is pronounced exactly how it's spelled, but because it's more than eight letters long people just mash it up in their mouth and spit out a clod of consonants.
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u/unknownvariable69 2d ago
It's a damn Microsoft activation code
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u/someone_actually_ 2d ago
Used this exact series of letters to open a bootleg Microsoft office in 2006
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u/Darthplagueis13 12h ago
Poor kid got a password as a name and it's not even a secure one.
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u/kat-deville 5h ago
The one time you use your kid's name as a password and it gets okayed by the system.
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u/Katnamedeaster 3d ago
Just put a kick me sign on the kid's back every time they go to school, seems easier.
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u/RmpleFrskn 3d ago
If someone came to me and told me their name was G-Zyfp I would call them a slur
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u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts 3d ago
Temporary password ass name
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u/Beowulf33232 3d ago
Sorry, user JOhnSm1th is already using that password, please select another password.
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u/D4T45T0RM06 3d ago
Kids favourite food will be mash
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u/newjerk666 3d ago
Kid is 10 years old already.
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u/jimdil4st 3d ago
The form was created in 2016 we have no indication when it was filled and filed.
("...revised August 2016.")
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u/Horror-Student-5990 2d ago
this is a linux command to exract and sort files numerically from a zip file
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u/jimmio92 1d ago
G-Zip -- an archiving tool on GNU/Linux
Zephyr -- a real-time operating system for IoT devices
Man -- the ending to male superhero titles
He's gonna be an archivist for the content on those ZigBee devices, and he'll wear a cape...?
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u/thegreatpotatogod 1d ago
At that point I'd try to argue that the birth certificate was filled out incorrectly, and just go with Bulacan Bocaue as my name, it's still pretty weird but a much better option than G-zip xzipher mhyn!
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u/Skelligean 3d ago
At least Buzzzaws Fashbaugh made sense to me when her mother told me the prenatal ultrasound sounded like a Buzzaw. But these names you can barely fucking pronounce.
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u/the_sassy_knoll 1d ago
Type that kid's name into a DOS prompt and they'd probably get free Adobe for life.
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u/Widespreaddd 3d ago
Is he Welsh? ;)
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u/TheSavvySkunk 3d ago
No. He’s Filipino.
I’ve heard that quite a few recently-born Filipin@s have been given out-of-the-ordinary names.
For example, we have this baby boy we’re commenting about, with the Windows CD key for a given name.
Also, I think a different couple gave their baby daughter the given name “Furina Focalors”, after both of the Hydro Archons from Genshin Impact. (I can tell that one or both of the parents were Genshin fans.) I take a bit of umbrage at how half of her given name also references a demon (Focalor, from the Ars Goetia), but I’m a little less concerned about her because at least her name is more coherent than the boy we’re talking about here.Unfortunately, those two are the only newborn Filipin@s who I know were given hella unconventional names at birth, but if you find more, please let me know so I can join on the light-hearted teasing!
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u/NecessaryTypical4145 3d ago
Immigrant substitute teacher gonna have a field day trying to say his name.
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u/SwvellyBents 3d ago
I think that was the name of one of Superman's comic book foes back in the 60s.
"Mister Mxyzptlk (often pronounced mix-yez-pitle-ik or mix-il-plick) is a powerful, reality-warping imp from the Fifth Dimension who serves as one of Superman’s most iconic and unconventional adversaries.
First introduced by DC Comics in 1944, he doesn't want to conquer the world; instead, he views the three-dimensional universe as his personal playground and loves tormenting Superman with chaotic, cartoonish pranks. Because his fifth-dimensional "magic" completely bypasses the laws of physics, Superman cannot defeat him with physical strength alone and must outsmart him."
Actually, I think I might just join his cult. He sounds like fun.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 3d ago
That is such an accurate insult lol! I was wondering what that name reminded me of.
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u/notarealwriter 3d ago
You know you don't have to put your kids name through an encryption algorithm before writing it on the birth cert
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u/Head-Docta 2d ago
Mom spelled “fighter” wrong. And how do you pronounce that name and how does it mean g-da precious fighter?
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u/odmirthecrow 2d ago
Are there no naming laws in the Philippines? I'm fairly certain this wouldn't be allowed a lot of English speaking countries.
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u/blackjackgabbiani 2d ago
Sure looks like an English speaking country what with the form being in English and all
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u/Inside-Inspection905 2d ago
English is one of the official languages in the Philippines, also if it’s not the Philippines what English speaking country is the province of Bulacan supposed to be in?
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u/Haylyn221 3d ago
I just know their teachers are going to look at the attendance sheet and feel like they're having a stroke every time
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u/JamesFirmere 8h ago
The only very theoretical upside here is that G-ZYFP could be the tail number of an aircraft registered in the UK but isn't an actual one at the moment. So if the kid became rich enough to buy a private jet, they could register it in the UK in their name... with their name.
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u/Penyrolewen1970 2d ago
Well, they’ll be able to use their name as their password ok, so there’s that bonus.
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