Am I too sensitive? What's my BFF's intention? Would you stay away from her if you were me?

[u/No-Drama-439]

Background: I(F 31) have (had) a BFF(F 30). She and her ex split up recently and it was ugly, she was not over him at all. When she spit with her ex, my husband and I kept her company, helped her move and stuff for a while. She knows my husband too, we used to couple date.

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One day she was talking about she met a guy in our group chat(then just she, my husband and I). she seemed excited and obsessed. I kinda followed this guy on IG so I told her go slow many guys seemed sweet but deep down they are f*ckboys even went to pros**. I know I was being judgmental but it’s not that she’ s dated that guy for a while. She just met him on internet and went out once. I didn’t think my words could hurt her feelings. She quickly asked what about my husband, how I was sure that he did not cheat. And my husband was right in that chat group. I was shocked and asked if she knew anything or tried to give me a heads up. She said I was too sensitive, she was just kidding.

I don’t think this is an appropriate “joke”. She obviously didn’t respect me at all. So I gave her the cold shoulder and withdrew myself. I’m still a bit shocked and upset someone I thought was my BFF was so evil and wanted me to hurt so badly. I could never ever say similar things to my friends.

She knows I am upset but she never apologized. She even asked my husband why I was being cold. My husband didn't say much. And she went like well guess right now I need time for myself so she should step back. She didn't even bother asking me in person.

Questions: Am I too sensitive? What was her intention? What should I do after this? I don't feel comfortable hanging out with her after that.

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**TL;DR;** : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

[u/FamousServitude]

She knew exactly what she was doing, that wasn't a joke it was a reflex to deflect your comment by aiming below the belt. Bringing your husband into it while he's literally in the chat is not playful teasing, it's trying to plant a seed of doubt to knock you down a peg because she felt judged

The fact she never apologized and went through him instead of you says she's prioritizing protecting her own ego over fixing the friendship. I'd keep that distance, someone who fights dirty when they're embarrassed isn't worth the headache

[u/No-Drama-439 → u/FamousServitude]

Thank you! Actually I've been thinking about it for some time and it still upsets me. Not easy for me to let go a friendship lasting over 15 years. But you are right, not worth the headache.

[u/Fun_Breakfast697]

Yeah, you are being a bit sensitive. You rained on her parade in a pretty nasty way and can't take a bit of heat back. Chill.