But is it grass?

If you proudly announced that you’d invented your own holiday where people put up spooky decorations, kids wore costumes, and everyone handed out candy, people would say “Hey! You didn’t invent that holiday! You just ripped off Halloween!” And then you’d be run out of the Holiday Inventors convention or wherever one goes to unveil made-up holidays in this scenario we’ve constructed for comedic purposes. We’d like to think that the maker of Offerings got the same response when he unveiled his movie. “Hey! You just ripped off Halloween!”

John is a little boy who doesn’t speak. One day, some mean neighborhood kids challenge him to “walk the well” — stand on the edge of an abandoned well and walk a complete circle around it. This is also how the custody battle was settled in the original cut of Kramer vs Kramer.

John gets startled, falls in, and we probably don’t need to tell you what happens next: he gets locked up in an insane asylum for ten years, and emerges as an unstoppable killing machine hellbent on revenge. That’s just how wells work! 

One by one, the bullies find themselves on the receiving end of John’s wrath. Said wrath exists on a spectrum from “being hideously murdered” to “eating pizza where the sausage may be ground-up bully.” Look, the latter isn’t exactly pleasant, but we know which one we’d choose! The only person who escapes John’s wrath is the one girl who was kind to him as a child, and it just so happens that her parents are out of town. Perhaps they’re visiting Jamie Lee Curtis…

There’s only two ways to ward off Michael Myers rip-offs: put up one of those twelve-foot tall Home Depot skeletons or watch this riff of Offerings with Mike, Kevin, and Bill. We know which one your HOA would prefer!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zachary Shatzer

She ended up with the one special agent groovier/radicaler than Austin "Danger" Powers

A local hellhole of a theater is showing Brainiac next week.

I'm thinking about going.

But then again, I also I think about other things too.

And I'll probably drive through, so can't really get good and crunk.

It's a problem.

Have any Kickstarter backers received their free trial to Best Friends yet,mine still says pending on Backerkit.

I wish they would have gone the other way with Mike, Kevin, Mary Jo and Bridget and CGI’d them up Tarkin style.

I'm driving myself insane trying to find this song, as I only remember listening to it during the Alamo Drafthouse pre-show of 28 years later. I remember seeing the music video that played. It involved a zombie family picnicking on a beach, and their food of choice was a guy running away in nothing but his skivvies. The song was kind of melancholic, with one of the main lines that I can remember ending with him saying "you better see me just moving on," or something like that.

Every time I search it up, all I get is the Young Fathers playlist. While I love that entire album, it's not what I'm trying to find!!! Can somebody help?

I don't know where to begin. I knew it was going to be bad, but I figured like "campy" bad. And well, it turns out that everything is bad. Like there must have been so many points at which people could have chosen to stop creating this abomination, but it kept moving forward for some reason. I was often asking myself if they were intentionally trying to make a bad movie, like as a joke. But even that doesn't quite fit. I will say, that the riff's were hilarious, and it elevated this turd to the level of a train wreck which I couldn't help but stare at. This may be my favorite Rifftrax movie so far.

The jokes and big riffs are the star of the show but sometimes MST3K delivers small moments that can be just as good.

My favorite was in Time Chasers, after dealing with Mike's jerk brother Eddie for a chunk of time in the theater, Crow goes back to stop himself from encouraging Mike to focus on his band.

When Crow comes back the timeline is back to normal and the three go into the theater. After a few riffs Mike makes a joke and Crow very softly says "Good to have you back, Mike." Mike responds with "Hmm?" And Crow just responds with "Its nothing" (I might be wrong about some of the wording). I dunno, I always liked how Crow and Tom loved to mess with Mike but still love having him around.

This guy has responded to my questions about the app twice now, outside of normal working hours. Not only did he reply, he workshopped a few solutions with me until he can get an update to the app out. Solid dude.

Guess who I am! 😁