r/roommates • u/Apprehensive-Main600 • 1d ago
Discussion Roommate
My roommate is bringing over her boyfriend over without telling me and asked me to move out of my room so they could stay in it. She then asked me to use another housemate's bed, but that housemate is away on a work trip and never agreed to it and he is back today and he needs his bed .I got back from a shift tired and wanted to sleep, but now I'm supposed to sleep on the couch, and I'm worried they'll wake me up while they set up the bed. I don't want it to become normal that guests get priority without any warning. How would you handle this?
12
u/TeaIndependent7888 1d ago
Are you 5? If you can't tell your roommate that you pay the rent and you're not sleeping on a coach so she can be with her boyfriend, can't help you. This is basic adulting.
9
u/MidwestNightgirl 1d ago
WTF - does your roommate not have a room?? But regardless, don’t be a pushover - say no! Do you want to sleep in your bed after that?? NO is a complete sentence and you do not owe anyone your bed. Let her BF spring for a hotel.
5
u/troublesomefaux 1d ago
I’d go get in my bed with an eye mask and earplugs. And tomorrow I’d tell them he can’t sleep in your room anymore because it makes you feel uncomfortable.
7
u/imanadultok 1d ago
This has to be AI
2
u/Diane1967 1d ago
When they don’t reply to any comments I agree that it must be ai too. There’s so really good comments here too
4
3
u/Green-Dragon-14 1d ago
Eeew they're doing the nasty in your bed with your sheets & duvet. Feck that. What about her own room & bed?
4
u/Adventurous-Can7292 1d ago
You need to tell her no and that its not fair to be unexpectedly told to sleep on the couch while she has fun in your room with her bf after you work.
She could let you know he's coming and get with you about your schedule.
Its very likely she will be selfish and not care
Been here, did this. 18 yr old roommate constantly locking US out of our 1 room we shared to sneak in her 23 yr old bf.
When I said no because I was tired it began randomly locking us out and slept in our room, guess who woke up to their roommate having s-x across from them, screaming and hollering like no one is there
At first we were being nice 15, 30 minutes but it would always be longer
3
u/ExcitingVegetable315 1d ago
Stand up for yourself. You can’t be a doormat if you don’t lay down on the floor.
3
u/mfruitfly 1d ago
Just tell them- no I am not vacating my bed. It truly is that simple.
If you two share an actual room, then add that you do not feel comfortable with her boyfriend being in the same room as you so THEY can sleep on the couch. Guests can sleep in the common room on the couch or an air mattress, and also deal with the noise of people existing in those spaces. Young people have been crashing on couches for hundreds of years, they will be fine.
2
u/Beautiful-Ad-5833 1d ago
Say what? Just No. The housemate doesn't get to decide which room she wants to have sex with her boyfriend in when he stays over. I'd be ropable if a housemate slept in my bed while I was away working.
2
u/Lopsided-Beach-1831 1d ago
You get to have a house meeting about overnight guests. This particular roommate needs to have the rule no sex anywhere in apartment common areas or other roommates rooms or beds. What is common sense for some needs to be spelled out for others.
Set up the rules. Be clear, be firm and dont back down. You can be polite, you can be considerate but you dont need to do whatever your roommate asks to avoid conversations. Have the conversation and keep moving forward. Protect your peace.
2
u/H0tC0c0_817 1d ago
Tell her and him to get out. Id personally sleep right between them. You need to tell her you pay rent, this is your space and get out.
What im more confused on is why she isnt using her own room?
1
u/imugly-and-improud 1d ago
If they haven’t already gone to bed, you can still change your mind. It’s so hard to know what a normal expectation is when you first start living with roommates. But an ask like this is comically absurd. Like truly bonkers behavior. You deserve better. Don’t ever let her do this again.
1
1
u/Ok_Childhood_9774 1d ago
Why is this even a question? He sleeps in her room/bed or he doesn't stay over. Pretty simple.
1
1
u/johnnny66789 1d ago
You need to set up boundaries and rules. Sounds like a free for all. Teach them to respect you
1
1
1
u/appleblossom1962 1d ago
You mean to tell me that three people are sharing this house or apartment and you all don’t have a bedroom
1
u/BeerStop 1d ago
What?, what kind of fantasy fiction B.S. is this?, no one gives up their room, try better on your fictional story, im not buying this. " oh my bf is coming over we need your room"- ya right.
1
u/Important-Nobody-261 1d ago
This is clearly fake. If not you got bigger issues than roommate probs
1
u/Apprehensive-Main600 1d ago
It’s a hostel kinda setup and we are sharing the room…. Yes she does disturb at night calling her friends till 1 or 2 am sometimes
1
1
1
u/Prestigious_Guard_49 12h ago
The phrase you are looking for is " oh hell no" im not giving up my bed so you and your bf can have sex in it.
1
0
u/Select_Garlic8897 1d ago
It’s so hard to find a decent roommate. This is a sadness people are forced to have them in order to survive. Your problem is not uncommon. We all go thru different struggles with them. I wish you to find your perfect place soon
0
u/bibbitybopboo101 1d ago
Just tell them to scoot over and get into bed! What's wrong with her room?
-1
19
u/big-booty-heaux 1d ago
Tell her to fuck off, what the hell?! Your room is your room, and if she's going to have him over all the time he needs to be chipping in for the utilities. If she wants control over the entire house, she better be paying your share the fucking bills.
Put a lock on your door and tell her to kick rocks.