How to stop feeling bad after scolding someone

[u/Interesting_Run_4569]

So I'm overseeing the construction of my dad’s properties by myself. I'm pretty inexperienced with this stuff and all the workers are older than me. The problem is that whenever they mess up some work, I get angry and scold them. For example, I asked them to water some cement mixture today and they did not do it so I woke them up and made them water it at night time. After my anger subsides I always feel bad and I overcompensate, like I'll buy lunch for them. I have some upcoming projects and I want to learn to be more stern when they make mistakes and not feel bad about it.

[u/VerdeMachina]

Stay on top of them during the day.Sounds like you left them and trusted them. Dont trust your employees to do things on their own. Make sure they do it. That’s was a manager does. Manage

[u/Interesting_Run_4569 → u/VerdeMachina]

Actually the workers have a manager but he's on leave. But yes I have a lot to learn. Thanks

[u/FabulousKick5721]

The guilt isnt the problem, its your conscience being right. Waking grown men at night to yell about cement is anger, not sternness, and the lunch afterwards tells them your mood is the thing to manage, not the work

Firm sounds calm. Clear instruction, who owns it, what happens if its missed, said once

They'll respect that way more than the shouting

[u/Interesting_Run_4569 → u/FabulousKick5721]

I know it's a bit of an overreaction but this was the third time that I told them to water it, and if they do not do it regularly then the cement structure of the house will be weak. I got angry because I felt like they do not listen to what I say especially since I just reminding them about their work, and not giving an extra task. But yeah I should not have shouted

[u/Muted_Reaction_4880]

The guilt is your conscience telling you the delivery was off, not that the correction was wrong. You're managing adults who dropped a task, waking them up to fix it was harsh but not unreasonable. I'd focus on being direct in the moment without the anger escalation, then no need for the lunch guilt trips

[u/Interesting_Run_4569 → u/Muted_Reaction_4880]

That's a fair point. Thank you

[u/Senior-Pain1335]

How old are you. And why the hell are the construction workers living there? lol

[u/Interesting_Run_4569 → u/Senior-Pain1335]

I'm in my mid 20s. The construction workers camp there because it eliminates their travel time and cost. They stay in the rooms that are somewhat completed

[u/Senior-Pain1335 → u/Interesting_Run_4569]

You and I would be having some serious problems if you woke me up after a days work….your in charge right? Well then when your guys fuck up guess who it falls on… you motherfucker lol. If it was me I woulda wet it myself then grilled them about it in the morning. Brother idk what kinda construction workers you have working for you, but you do that to the wrong person and bad things will happen to you lol

[u/Careful_Cranberry364]

Is very unprofessional to become angry
what do you need to be is firm

You can demand what you want, then say strongly, “get it done”

Then smile and walk away

[u/FantasticClapperboar]

Dude, you're in a tough spot but it's cool you're trying to figure it out. Honestly, being the boss when you're new is a minefield, especially with older guys. Maybe try focusing on clear instructions and constructive feedback instead of getting heated, that way you can set expectations without feeling like a jerk later.

[u/d4nkhill23]

Hit them with the “I know you guys are capable of doing better” usually shit like that gets people’s attention.

[u/Burdensome-Mylodon]

dude honestly the lunch thing is just gonna make em walk all over ya if they see it as a pattern. try keepin it cool but firm in the moment so you dont have to blow up and then guilt trip yourself later, its way easier to command respect if you arent yo-yoing like that

[u/Aggressive-Turn-2987]

The guilt is doing its job. Waking grown men at night to make them water cement is anger with a reason attached, and the lunch the next day tells them your mood is the thing they manage.

Firm is quiet. Walk the site at the end of the day, check the three things that matter, and if something's skipped, say so flat: "this was meant to be watered, it wasn't, it gets done first thing tomorrow and I'm checking at eight." No raised voice, no apology lunch. The reason you feel bad is that you let it slide all day and then corrected it at the worst possible hour. Check earlier and you'll never need to scold at night.