I’m curious about the mindsets that have helped you stick to your plans even when you feel like giving up or falling back into old habits. Or the ones that pushed you out of your comfort zone, stopped you from constantly comparing yourself to others, helped you avoid getting attached to people too easily, or finally let go of perfectionism.

I genuinely believe that the way we think isn’t set in stone and that we can train ourselves to adopt healthier, more empowering mindsets.
So, what’s a mindset shift that made a real difference in your life?

I've spent a lot of time looking for ways to improve my life, build better habits, and become more productive. But the more I learn, the more I realize that almost everything comes down to a few simple things: getting enough sleep, eating well, staying physically active, and doing deep work.That's pretty much it. No magic supplements, no perfect morning routine, no complicated productivity system. Just taking care of your body and mind and consistently putting in hard work every day.
Maybe we should stop looking for shortcuts and just focus on these basics. It's not always easy to stay consistent, but I think that's what really makes the difference.

 After we have lived our lives, as we approach death, it is common to reexamine how our life went. Did we live a successful life? The end of life offers a unique opportunity to do this, because at this time, the ego, our learned self-centered beliefs, loosens its influence on us, And the spirit becomes our predominant reviewer. 
 At this point in the cycle of life, it no longer matters how much money we made, the size of the house we lived in, the job we had, or anything else associated with success, as dictated in the world by the ego. We are all finally equal now and we judge our success through a different prism: that of the spirit. When we review our lives, what we had thought was success often holds a different meaning now. 
 It is at this time, especially during the last few days of our life, we come to the realization what we thought was important, really was not. All the material things we accumulated, friends we had, places we visited, jobs we worked, amount of money we made, or any other comparison you can think of, which belongs in the world in which we had lived, becomes meaningless. 
 It is at that moment, the moment where the ego has minimal control over our actions and decisions, the true meaning of life finally becomes evident. It is then, despite how strongly the ego may have influenced our life before, the opportunity To view our life in a different way presents itself. At this time in our life, primarily viewing our lives through the eyes of our spirit, we may find we have many regrets. 
 We begin to understand the selfish pleasures in the world we had sought were not very important. As death becomes evident, we finally realize none of that matters. When we die, unless our culture is like that of the ancient Egyptians, our body will be buried or cremated, And nothing we accumulated during our lifetime will accompany us. Our body will then be placed in a coffin or urn, just like every other person who dies, regardless of their stature or their lifetime accomplishments.
 At that moment, just before we die, we finally understand we truly are all equal. No one was ever better than another. Race, money, prestige, no longer matter. As we get closer to our death, it becomes evident the self-centered path the ego had us follow to find success and happiness may have not been the right path after all. The fear, hatred, and prejudice we once felt are no longer important to us, not because we are going to die, but because it never did matter.

~ Ken Luball ~

Hey everyone,

I really need some help, because this is causing me a massive problem. Maybe not in the "I can't function" sense, but as someone under treatment for Major Depressive Disorder (no self harm or anything like that), this is the thorn in my paw.

I know the sub says no personal information, so I'll try to be as vague as possible while being thorough to paint a whole picture, as I feel it's necessary for finding a solution to this issue. I'm a 40 year old white dude. I live with my parents, who are on up in age, but are fortunately in fairly good health, aside from my mom having a couple of hospital/temporary nursing home visits the last couple of years due to kidney issues, stomach issues, etc., but I'm hoping we're on the better side of that. I have a brother, 3 years younger than me, with Down Syndrome, who lives here as well. I've lived with my family my entire life, as I've always wanted to be close to my parents to help them with him, despite them both never once making me feel like it was my obligation. I've been very blessed in that regard with a great relationship with them. I'm a single dude, only ever had a couple of relationships, as I tend to attach to friends, and the friends don't feel the same way, and I can't develop relationships any other way.

I feel lonely, but I've sort of compartmentalized things as the way they are, and even though it stings, I just try to fill that gap with hobbies (gaming, gym time, reading, art, etc.). I have a Bachelor's in Philosophy and I work for the state in Probation/Parole as a Secretary. I've considered becoming an officer as I meet the qualifications, but I'm not sure I have the confidence for it, despite the fact that I've been with the state for about 11 years. I just don't want to bite off more than I can chew.

As I hit this point in my life, I have this issue about comparing myself to others. When I was a little kid, I got put into all these gifted programs in kindergarten, had a state evaluator come out, and they clocked my IQ at 148 (which is something I don't advertise, A - because IQ isn't a definitive measure of anything, B - IQ doesn't make you talented just by its nature alone, and C - I don't want to seem like a bragging douchebag). I always got to do all this extra work, learned computer stuff early on, and sort of had it drilled into my head that I was going to do all of this great stuff as I got older.

A few years slacking in high school, I maintained my bookishness, found a great love in a JROTC program, and ended up getting my Associate's Degree in Psych, later went back to a tech school and got a "Business Systems Technology" diploma from the tech center, which is essentially just administrative office stuff combined with minor technical equipment usage, and back in 2021, I finished my Bachelor's and got it in Philosophy. I know Philosophy itself isn't a "profit" oriented degree, but I've always liked thinking, I've always liked the idea of thinking, and in the state, many jobs don't require a "specific" degree, just a degree in general. I started an MA program in Political Science, but haven't re-enrolled yet, as I had to step back when my mom got sick.

I know that's a lot of exposition, but I write all kinds of ideas down. I take ideas from everything I enjoy. Games, movies, books, music, podcasts, art, you name it. I have journals that I keep just for like "stream of consciousness" kind of writing, as I've always been kind of an introverted person, and like I said, I'm under treatment for Major Depressive Disorder. I was doing therapy for a while, but the therapy I had wasn't really working, as the clinician seemed more focused on the "clinical" side of it, and I didn't feel that the "human" side of me was being heard. I'm a believer in it as a concept; It's just that it wasn't working with me where I was at, and when I brought the issue up that I'm about to mention, it was almost treated as an afterthought.

I see all these cool things that people far younger than me have done. Take, for example, Kane Parsons, and his Backrooms series. I have tons of ideas in notebooks of stories, art pieces, concepts, just random thoughts, etc., that are in my head. I just write and create things for the sake of creating them. But it stings me when I see someone half my age that is doing so much, and I've done so little. It even gets to the point where I feel envious of content creators and YouTubers, both near my age and far younger, as it's like I'm looking at the life I wish I could have. It's not sour grapes; I know these guys and girls work so hard and were blessed with the right luck and circumstance, and I -know- that living my life by comparing it to others isn't feasible. But I just can't find happiness, and I can't break this habit. It doesn't dampen my enjoyment of media, but it's always in the back of my head that I've done nothing, and I have this fear that I'm just destined to spend my days working some dead end job, and experiencing the media, creations, and products that other very talented and deserving people have made.

Example: Was literally just watching the new Street Fighter movie earlier, and was sitting here feeling envious of guys like Cody Rhodes, Roman Reigns, and David Dastmalchian (phenomenal actor and apparently a super nice dude) because it feels like they're living the dream. I know they likely have their own problems, and I'm not trying to get into celebrity worship or anything, as this also extends to Youtubers or content creators like Maximillian Dood, Moist Critikal, Pat Stares at from the Super Best Friends, etc... it isn't even necessarily MAJOR celebrities, more just people who seem to have these idyllic lives. I know their lives aren't perfect and they have their own problems, but I keep thinking how much I wish one of my ideas took off like that, or that I could DO something like that... I'd never quit my day job for a pipe dream, as I know that's how many people started, and I know the old adage about people achieving huge things later on in life, but I'm just having problems internalizing that. I feel like I've failed. Like I'm destined to live life looking through someone else's creative eyes.

I don't want to come off as whiny, and be all "Woe is me!", but I just need help...coping, I guess. I'm a single 40 year old dude, I feel alone, and don't wish to be a wet blanket, but going out with friends is rough, because I see them all living happy lives, and I'm the only one going home by myself at the end of the night. None of them seem to suffer from this comparative happiness thing, and I'm glad they don't. I just wish I didn't.

How do I find any joy or room for growth? How do I enjoy what I enjoy and stop looking at every piece of media or creation and not think "Damn, if only I had thought of this", or comparing myself to the creators, whether they be younger, the same age, or older than me? It isn't sour grapes necessarily, as I'm not like "They don't deserve this, it should've been ME REEE", but more like a sadness that I'm not successful. And it hurts. Especially when I was gassed up by people for so much of my life, telling me that I was going to do all of this huge stuff, and all I've done is turned out to be a secretary in a corrections office.

To anyone that read this, thank you for listening.

People don’t take advantage of you because they hate you. They take advantage of you because you offer the least amount of resistance.

When I was in my military course, we had to protect our base in shifts.

For two hours, one of my team went to watch over the base.

And every two hours we would switch.

At first, our captain decided who would be on what time.

The later it gets in the day, the worse it becomes. No one wants to have a shift from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m.

At first, our sergeant decided on the shifts. Who will be at what time? So it wasn’t even arguable.

Eventually, he was tired of doing it. So he decided to give this responsibility to one of his soldiers. And it was me.

I was responsible for putting everyone on my team and myself in shifts to watch over the base.

At first, it was exciting because it was a simple job. Schedule a shift for everyone.

But there was one problem. I wasn’t their sergeant.

I was their teammate. They could express themselves to me. Tell me that this shift isn’t fair and that shift too.

I would put someone on a shift from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m., and then they would come to me whining. “I am always doing this late at night; it’s not fair.” “What about Joe?? He didn’t have a night shift in ages! Switch between our shifts.”

So I would switch their shift. And every time I would put a specific type of person on night shifts, they would complain.

After scheduling shifts for long enough, I knew who the problematic ones were. I knew the people who always complained about their late shifts.

They were doing as everyone else, yet they complained and talked about their shifts the most.

So for some reason, I tried to avoid putting them on the night shifts. I didn’t want to deal with them. Placing shifts is not as easy as I thought. You need to make it as fair as possible so that no one will have too many shifts and spread it evenly. Doing it for 30 people is not a simple task; it can take up to hours, and it’s highly demanding. So I don’t want to deal with complaints. So I avoid scheduling the complainers on night shifts as much as possible.

Instead, without even noticing it, I placed the people who didn’t create a lot of noise on their shifts.

In other words, I placed the yes-men on the harder shifts.

And it’s not because I wanted to in my conscious mind. All I wanted was silence. So whenever someone would complain to me about their shift so much, I would switch their shift. To get the silence I wanted.

The yes-men, on the other hand, didn’t mind their shifts at all. They didn’t complain or say anything wrong. They accepted it and did their part.

It was easier to put them in the shifts.

And it doesn’t happen only in the military. It can happen in every circumstance in life.

Because we, people pleasers, don’t stand our opinion firmly, people walk over us.

And nothing will change if we keep staying quiet, thinking we are doing someone a favor.

A week ago, I was bantering with my friend. We were roasting each other and laughing. Then he asked me, “Do you have siblings?” in an eased tone. I knew where it was heading… “Yes,” I replied, sounding a bit uncomfortable.

“How many?” He asked in a curious tone, ”Sister and a brother. I am the oldest.” I felt uncomfortable.

Then he said a joke about my sister. I hate when someone talks down about my family. And I always tolerated it. Even if it was in good, healthy roasting, I cannot accept it toward my family.

Once he finished his joke, I stared at him motionlessly. And demanded, “Don’t make jokes about my sister anymore. It’s not funny.”

The air turned cold. I pretended to be determined, but in reality, I felt guilty for ruining the good vibe we had a few moments ago. I wanted to break character and start laughing again, but if I didn’t end this right now, it would never end.

So I felt guilty, but he got the message and never brought up my family again.

Life will be much better when you express your opinion.

My screen time was out of control, and standard app limits never worked for me because I just bypassed them. I realized I needed real friction.

I decided to link my worst habit to a habit I desperately wanted to build. Now, I force myself to do push-ups before I'm allowed to open Instagram or TikTok. I even set up a strict lock on my phone that only opens the apps after it physically tracks my reps.

Has anyone else tried adding a physical "toll" to break a bad habit? It completely shifted my mindset.

So I'm overseeing the construction of my dad’s properties by myself. I'm pretty inexperienced with this stuff and all the workers are older than me. The problem is that whenever they mess up some work, I get angry and scold them. For example, I asked them to water some cement mixture today and they did not do it so I woke them up and made them water it at night time. After my anger subsides I always feel bad and I overcompensate, like I'll buy lunch for them. I have some upcoming projects and I want to learn to be more stern when they make mistakes and not feel bad about it.

There are so many things I want to try: singing lessons, art classes, writing courses, public speaking, etc. I look them up, imagine myself doing them, but never actually sign up.
Part of it is not wanting to spend money, but I think it’s also fear or avoidance. It’s been a pattern for years. Even at university, whenever attending seminars was optional, I often wouldn’t go and would end up spending the whole day in bed instead.

It’s not like I never do anything. I paint, journal, sing at home occasionally, recently ran a 5K and spent the summer in Portugal. Still, I feel like I’m constantly holding myself back. It’s the same with jobs and other opportunities.

It gives me so much anxiety because I’m terrified of wasting my life. I keep avoiding things I actually WANT to do, only to feel terrible about missing out.

And people say “just do it,” my therapist talks my wishes through with me to, but if I could, wouldn’t I have done it already? That’s the frustrating part. I feel stuck between wanting to live my life and somehow being unable to make myself do it.

Does anyone else experience this? What helped?

Hi everyone,

​I’m a 24-year-old female, and I’ve noticed lately that my memory of the last few years feels extremely blurry.

​The past few years were really difficult for me. I was feeling pretty down/depressed and spent most of my time living on autopilot—just surviving day to day. I barely ate, didn't engage in hobbies, and rarely did anything fun.

​When I try to recall the past (even as recent as this past summer), everything feels like a blank or a blur. I can't pinpoint specific days or memorable events, and it almost feels like I didn't do anything at all. It honestly scares me to feel this way at only 24.

​Has anyone else experienced this kind of memory gap after going through a tough period? Is this common after living on autopilot for so long?

​Moving forward, I really want to change this. I want to build a life where I remember my days and make sure every year has meaningful, special moments. Any advice or shared experiences would mean a lot.

I am a 23 M based in Metairie, LA. I currently work at a car dealership, and I am getting tired and fed up with my own lifestyle and habits. I have grown up alongside people who are definitely not intelligent in any way, shape, or form. These people that I associated with have sold drugs, gone to jail, gotten on probation, and even died. The biggest worry for these people is how they feel in the present moment. I was never like that; in a way, I am tolerant when it comes to suffering for achievements.

For me, this is a journal with a goal in mind. I have blocked these so-called "friends." It's been a few days, however, and I have surprisingly few cravings for anything. I have started to attend church more frequently in the past few weeks. I began talking to this girl a little, who I know used to have a crush on me. I felt pretty good that night about asking the girl out. While communicating with a group of guys in the church. One of them stated that they were going on a date with said girl since "everyone already knows about it." No one knew anything about it, but the announcement was crushing. I just got into my car after the event and drove for an hour.

All I could think about was the time I lost. I have been working for the past year and one month for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, because working on Sundays is illegal, with only three days off, and two of them I was sick. Before that, I worked at a Casino for eight months working 108 - 112 hour weeks back to back to back. Before that, I worked as a server for 80-hour weeks consistently for 2 years. Then there was a year I was trying to start my own business. (I will not go into detail) Just know I was very socially isolated to the point that, after 6 months, I started going a little crazy.

I have a question from my position here. With all this hard work and this lack of relationships in my life, what could fix it? A new job? Moving out of the state (we are ranked 50th in the country)? Working out at a gym, though my time is currently limited :/. I really have begun working out at home. I post on my social medias all day everyday to try to get customers through the door. Maybe I should start teaching my sales techniques to other people online. I am lost. Maybe there's a solution I am vocalizing that I don't acknowledge. Really, all this stems from me not wanting to be poor.

Whenver I Imagine the perfect partner, it's almost like i'm imagining a female version of myself, of course it's only myself when i'm not on my self-hating episodes. Someone who is fit, has the same values, the same ambitions, the same interests and hobbies; Minus the negative things of myself/my personality But that person doesn't exist, because people can't be perfect, meaning that the perfect partner can't exist. No matter how hard you try. And so I am left wondering: So there is no love? Yet I still develop crushes, yet I still fantasize about romance. Then perhaps, there is a difference between being attracted to someone and loving someone? Attraction is instinctual, you see a person of the other gender, and your instincts tell you that this is a ""good"" mate to have kids with. But humans were born with a brain, and so: Can a human be attracted to someone yet still not love them? Our brain maybe made it worse, since it introduced the factor of beauty. If a person doesn't confide with the "exceptionnally high" beauty standards of this world, while also having a ""playful"" personality; Then that person drops down tiers in the love ladder, with both sides at the bottom hating eachother because they think they "deserve" someone better. My biggest issue is that i've been told for a long time that attraction = Love, that crushes = Soulmates, yet if my standards are so low to have a crush on any girl I meet, does it mean that I actually love? I've tried to avoid social media, yet i've been pulled into this game of "rating eachother based on a /10 scale" or the usual "If you don't ruin your looks and turn your personality into something you aren't, then you won't get laid" type of game. At the end, i'm still young enough not to know the answers, I just want to know: "How can you love someone if they're not flawless ?"

Thank for reading through all of this

I’ve been realizing how people can walk away from your life at any moment. Friendships, relationships, can end suddenly, even after years. The only thing that always stays, is you. Counting on others to make you happy, complete and fulfilled is therefore a huge gamble. You never know when someone decides to walk away and if your whole life revolved around them, what are you left with? Everyone talks about self-love and the cliché “love yourself first”, and truly, it’s 100% valid. If one day your partner of 10 years or your childhood best friend walks away from your life, the only person that you got, is you. This is where the importance of self love comes. Love yourself enough to not rely on anyone else for your happiness. At the end of the day, we came into this world alone, and we’re leaving alone. People can walk away at any moment.

Hey, I'm a 23-year-old guy, and... I've barely had any romantic experience at all. No teenage love, no relationships, no mutual feelings, nothing. I've talked to girls and had crushes, but they've always been one-sided, or things never got to the point where I could actually call someone my girlfriend. And yeah, I'm a virgin.

Honestly, it's really hard dealing with the loneliness. All my friends are either in relationships or married, and I feel like I'm falling behind everyone else. On top of that, I've spent the last couple of years struggling with terrible depression, which made it difficult to meet new people and build connections. I'm doing better now, but I'm still terrified that having zero experience will make me undesirable, or that people will see it as a red flag.

My friends say good things about me and think I'm a good, interesting person, but this loneliness makes me question whether I'm even someone who can be loved.

I've spent most of my life trying to work on myself and become a better version of who I am, but I don't know when this awful feeling of loneliness is going to go away. How much longer am I supposed to put up with it?

I'm genuinely trying. Depression made me drop out of university, but I've since gone back and graduated. I've also started taking better care of my health and appearance, little by little. And yet, I still feel so sad.

People have told me to focus on building a career, but I don't know. I want someone to love me for who I am, not for how much money I make. Maybe that sounds naive or childish, but what's the point of having a good career if I'm still alone? I don't need that much for myself.

And please don't get me wrong. I'm more than willing to give a lot and do a lot for the people I love. The problem is that there's no one in my life like that.

I dream of having a family and children someday, but fuck, I'm already 23. People keep telling me I'm still young and that I have my whole life ahead of me, but there's no way of knowing when I'll meet someone, how long it'll take us to get close, or how long it'll be before we're ready to have children. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going to run out of time.

I'm genuinely scared. I really want to be loved by someone and have someone to give all my love to.

Thank you for reading this.

I've recently started struggling with just doing the things I enjoy doing because of the anxiety or thought that I'm wasting time or that I'm not doing things that will pay off. Recently I had an accident, had surgery and spend some time in the hospital and now my life is put on hold. I have to drop my college classes because I've missed too many classes and I have some time before I have to go back to work. I'm resting at home recovering and I thought that being in the hospital would help with the thoughts but I'm returning to that cycle again. I'm young enough that people tell me all the time that I have my whole life ahead of me and that I'm okay, and I'm trying to believe that but it's hard to feel like I'm not doing enough, to the point that it actually makes it harder to do the things that I enjoy doing. I do have depression and anxiety as well as OCD, so I do feel a bit that I must be perfect or do things perfectly or know ahead of time what I'm supposed to be doing. I have dreams and I know who I want to be in the future, but now I'm home just recovering most of the day doing little hobby projects and I love learning and love creating, but the constant nagging feeling that it's not enough prevents me from making real progress. I want to be comfortable being uncomfortable and just to do things, and I'd love any help with feeling this way. One thing I've done is set a goal to just complete anything. Completing a small game, writing the rough draft I've been wanting to write, completing a small coding project, finish a book I've been reading, just something.

This only happened 2 months ago and i want to be a new person.

I don't quite know why, but I seem to keep attracting a certain sort of person: they see and encourage me to open up about myself & and my past, and they take it as a green-light to smother me with affection and pamper me with grand promises of being their absolute besties/lovers/my "new family". Last one who did this kept going out of their way to buy a week's worth of groceries for me. (Despite me not really asking. 😅)

Then, they never really follow up on any of this, but keep insisting that they want to keep working with me. They inevitably burn themselves out into a crispy husk, and the next thing you know? These folks end up resenting me.

Seriously. Why the hell do I keep falling into this cycle?

No body likes making mistakes and of course you’ll feel bad, but when I make mistakes it bothers/upsets me an unhealthy amount.

My anxiety ramps up, I feel physically ill, I feel like crying throughout the day, and I'll have negative thoughts about myself the rest of the day and days following (which I do actively work to correct and combat against. Quick example: "everyone makes mistakes. You're not stupid.")

It isn't a healthy reaction compared to what the mistake(s) actually is.

What are some tips or techniques I could try?

Help friends! I am a FTM and my kid is 2, I’m finding myself super addicted to my phone and I feel like it’s leading me towards more depressive habits, not cleaning up, avoidance of playing with my kid or not wanting to leave the house, comfort eat etc.
What’s a way you’ve found to break that habit and keep it broke?
The second thing I want to work on is I SUCK at cleaning and keeping house, it feels so overwhelming and like it’ll take too long so I avoid a lot. I can’t take it anymore and would love to learn how to clean as I go. I think that would help me avoid cleaning for 1-2 hours after my kid goes to sleep and I’m whipped.

Also another thing on my mind right now is I feel like I’m holding back on myself because I’m afraid of being great. I don’t track my food like I want because I’m lazy but I’m so sick of how my body looks and blame myself. I am fairly active but I just feel like I’m purposefully self sabotaging.

All advice and questions welcome.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt

While I like that quote and have it pinned up in my office, this is a case of "easier said than done".

I stream games on YouTube, and I struggle with seeing others who started much later than me do better when it comes to subscribers, etc.

I know YouTube is a strange creature and that I shouldn't even try to understand it.
I know that I shouldn't place any self-value dependent on the algorithm.
I know that I should stream games for the enjoyment.

I know all those things, and I tell myself the numbers don't matter, but in the end, they do.

So I'm thinking this isn't so much about YouTube as it is my comparing myself to others in my life.

I don't like myself when I do that. I want to be HAPPY when others succeed. I don't want to be covetous, jealous, envious, resentful.

I'd appreciate any tips you're willing to offer.
I thank you for your time.

Hi, everyone!

I’m 31 years young. Female.

I struggle with:

- back acne
- acne on my stomach
- stretch marks/very dark ass on my lighter toned body.
- deep, black pores or whatever they are on back of my leg.
- stretch marks on my knees
- overly sweaty
- strawberry legs

And I’m skinny. I’m a lighter toned African American woman. It’s so embarrassing. I literally have avoided so much in life due to how embarrassed I am of my body.

It’s led to so much depression and anxiety. Settling for less. Not making friends. Not letting my guard down.

I’ve turned down so many big opportunities for myself due to it, and I’m just tired of being afraid of what people think.

How do I accept my body in this state? Or do I improve it at all?

I hope this is the right forum.

Thanks, guys! :)

I am starting a daily accountability thread from today where i will specify how much i studied, where did i lack, and targets i completed

**About me and my plans:

-Student

-Preparing for my collage entrance exam (JEE)

-Other than posting studying time I ll also mention how i utilised my free time (I solve sudoku and Read articles on Substack)-

**My Plans

First 15 days - I will study for 8+hr (currently i only do 6)

For first 30 days i will also do a bit of running after that i have to spam mock tests (so may not be that consistent in this)

I aim to post till January 22 , 2027 as that's my exam date, after this i will most probably have built a strong base/ trained my brain to concentrate more so i will stop posting, (There are 2 phases of this exam Second phase is in May 2027)

Few Extra Points ::

* As proof of study time i will post my ypt recorded hours with to do list written in it

Today's study time will be posted on 1 am (IST) and the challenge starts tomorrow

,

I often feel like I have an invisible sign above my head that says, “I’m insecure, and you’re free to take advantage of me.”
I’ve felt this way for a long time. It’s almost as if certain people can immediately sense something about me that makes them think they can disrespect me, talk down to me, push my boundaries, or treat me however they want.

What do you think makes someone come across as insecure, vulnerable, or easy to take advantage of?

Is it body language, the way they speak, being too nice, avoiding confrontation, or something else?

Have you ever felt this way yourself? And if so, did you figure out what you were doing differently from people who seem to naturally command respect?

If you had to choose, would you rather double the number of books you read each year or remember twice as much from the books you already read? Personally I have this insane desire to read every classic and new book out there, but I literally can't remember the plot of my fav books ;-;

Also do you recommend using a reading buddy that keeps track of what you read and summarizes/helps you out or some productivity/note-taking tool for this?

I took my roommate to the airport last week and yesterday he arrived back to town and before he came back I told him I can pick him up at 9:30 when his plan landed. However, my other buddy is in town and him and I planned on going out that night and instead of picking my friend up from the airport I asked him about couple hours before he arrived if it wasn’t too expensive if he could uber back or get a ride from one of our other friends. He said it was cool that was the end of it but I just feel like an asshole now. I called him later that night after he landed and asked if he made it back and apologized and told him how bad I felt and he said don’t worry about it but i just feel like a dick.

It was a very selfish and inconsiderate move on my part. i feel like this calls into question my priorities sometimes and understanding that if I tell someone i’m gonna do something I’ll do it or find a way to make sure things get done. He joked about it saying i’m a bad friend but I do feel like a bad friend for choosing to go get drinks instead of picking my friend up from the airport. I tried to justify it in my head by knowing that we only live 10 minutes from the airport but still make me feel like shit