After being fired 3 weeks ago, I finally have a job interview Monday, and I'm considering going to said job interview while fem presenting. After coming to terms with being trans during my first job, and mostly coming out during my second, I want to be straight forward with who I am, but I'm worried being openly trans could fuck over my chances of getting hired. Now fair, I have gone there while presenting, including when I asked for and turned in my application, but there's a difference between presenting in a brief interaction as a customer and presenting as a potential new hire, especially since I used my legal name instead of my chosen name. I'm just not sure if I should go through with doing it.

For reference, Im a trans man who's 18 yrs old, never had lasting friendships, talk about relationships my entire life, almost all of my social interactions have the looming fear of rejection because of my gender identity, and so I kept to myself most of my teenage life.

The other week I tried to make a friend, me, him and his girlfriend hung out today and it went pretty well...at least I think so. Im just scared because Ive almost never made friends i actually planned on keeping. Everyone i interact with have an expiration date because of the pattern ive made throughout the years. It feels suffocating, i feel like they dont like me, that Im weird, I just want to run away like none of this happened.

Im afraid that I acted weird, or that they could notice just how socially deprived i am. I dont want to come off as desperate, but i also dont want to come off as distant.

I dont know when my mind is playing tricks on me, on top of that I have ocd and i obsess even more over my fears. Its a cursed circle i cant seem to handle and I feel inadequate in being anyones friend. I just feel like i wasnt cut out for any of this