It genuinely baffles me in a way I genuinely, truly cannot understand. Why would someone who identifies as male want to do the literal most female thing you could possibly do?

How would that not cause incredible dysphoria? How does a man want to be pregnant?

To me, this feels like the whole Man Lite thing. Like stuff like this is why so many people don’t see trans men as real men, because how can you be a man and be perfectly fine with getting pregnant, carrying the baby in your body for 9 months, and then giving birth??

Can anyone please explain this to me? How can someone with dysphoria connected to being female do that?

Hello, i have a sincere question that i feel like always differentiates me from transgenders online I’ve met. I don’t identify with transgenderism, but i do with transsexuality or incongruence with my birth sex, which I presume you guys do as well.

When did you first realize that you were transsexual? For most people online, I hear it happens from 13-18, which surprises me. Personally, it was the first moment I even really thought about gender, and “my” gender. I want to know your story, and I want to share my experience too to see if anybody can relate to me, but you don’t need to read it, for it is long.

For me, I didn’t have the words yet. I was probably four years old, I had just gotten done playing with my friend, we were playing as a brother and a sister. She was a sister, and I was a brother. I had always displayed depressive symptoms, even as a toddler. Especially when my mother forced femininity onto me so she could take photographs of me for her photography company, it felt humiliating, but I was compliant and never complained. Of course, I wasn’t aware of the implications of gender or gender-roles. That was the first time I even considered it. I imagined how I would look as a boy, what kind of clothes I’d wear, how I’d grow up to be a man, etc. (I didn’t really know much about sexual differences between sexes back then, so it wasn’t relevant). And I had a distress to some degree about being feminine. My mother recalls the days before photo shoots, I’d draw a mustache on myself and ask to be a pirate instead, I know it’s silly, but I was four.

That was my first taste of sexual incongruence. I didn’t have much defining feminine sexual traits of course, but I did feel an impending doom on the idea of developing that way, albeit kind of convoluted and abstract, as I wasn’t sure what to expect. The first time I realized I was transsexual was when I watched a video on YouTube about it at the age of nine, it was probably 2017 then (I am 18 now.) I saw it and cried. “Wait, I don’t have to end my suffering to be happy, am I actually a boy?” Basically. I know this is weird to those who aren’t religious, but I later understood God’s plan for me as being a transsexual male, for the ultimate goal to be a male. It was the first time I felt connected to God. (I’m not trying to proselytize by the way, it was just my experience and still is.) As puberty progressed (kind of mildly and slow for me, I probably had low estrogen levels looking back) every day felt like torture, and I was only hanging on for the day I could start testosterone at 18.

Many people tell me they didn’t realize they were trans well into puberty, which is surprising ! I’m not a doctor, or a therapist, and I cannot claim someone is faking, but many don’t seem to represent transsexual traits, and many individuals begin to exhibit signs after exposure to trans people online or irl. I know that exposure is how you can garner the vocabulary for your experience, but it felt less like finding the words to describe something, and more like a spontaneous addition to someone’s story, but I’m hesitant to judge.

So, I am an underage trans girl who does karate at my local dojo in Florida. Basically, I have been going for a while and it's been great. There is a trans woman who is a brown belt, and she has been acting as a sort of mentor for me to help me train and get better. However, things took a strange turn when I think she clocked me. She started talking to me about her surgeries, and really specific details about them that made me uncomfortable. I ignored it for the most part and just nodded along, until she started acting weird to my dad. She came up to him at the end of class and started talking to him offering to help give rides to the dojo (mind you, I didn't even know her that well, she was just helping me level up for the past week or so), and talking very loudly about how it's hard being trans in 2026. Now, this is in front of everyone. When some old lady who was lowk ignorant came up and started making excuses for transphobic policies, the trans woman essentially outed me by saying "when you're trans like her, you don't get to fence-sit" or something like that. Anyways, I'm really weirded out by this whole scenario. Not only did she out me, she also offered to give rides to the dojo which is concerning ngl. What should I do?

I’ve seen this word before tossed around in trans spaces annd how it’s looked down upon and I’m curious to what it is and why it maybe flawed

Pretty crazy as it was a random person replying to me. My situation is pretty much; unable to start testosterone due to my situation. My dad is religious and completely against it, i live in a religious, far right, transphobic/homophobic area, going on testosterone currently risks me being bullied for a whole year. Yet i’m a ‘ fake trans ‘ for not starting testosterone yet because i cannot risk the changes of testosterone until i leave high school and move away. Just have no idea how this makes me a fake trans? 😅

I'm 24, queer cis woman. Apologies for the essay! Ive posted this here because i trust the truscum community to understand the angle I'm coming from and see that it's in good faith

Last year I became close friends with someone (38MtF) who came out as a trans woman and started transitioning early on in the friendship. I've always supported her, publicly advocated for her in the community, and tried to be a good friend. I took her shopping and bought her first femme outfit, done her make up, anything i can to help. Growing up my best friend in high-school came out as a trans man. It was so rough with the dysphoria. I'd never want anyone to go through that so I do my bit and always have with my gender queer friends (hence the truscum ideas). I thought I was non binary at one point in my life, but went back on this cause I figured out my "dysphoria" wasnt gender related. I just hated my body. Despite these experiences, I am not immune to harmful opinions, I ask that I'm checked (politely obviously) cause I want to do the right thing by someone I consider one of my best friends.

The situation is that while my she is medically transitioning and takes E, she says she has periods. I always understood it as the emotional and physiological symptoms of a monthly hormonal cycle. My personal experience is that I've menstruated since I was 10 with extreme pain and ovarian cysts. I used to openly judge cis women for complaining abt their 3-day-light-bleed while I have a 9-day-blood-bath. I make efforts not to do this anymore, cause my abnormal periods aren't a measuring stick. Just cause its not as bad as mine doesn't mean it isn't shit for them, and no one should have a shit period. I take the same approach with my friend. She doesn't cramp or bleed, but that's okay cause why does she need to suffer?

Then came the tampons. I thought maybe she just carried them in her bag for people in public bathrooms. But they're all over her house. One was outside on the path to her front door and she said it just dropped out of her bag. There were a few in the hallway, on the living room floor, under the dining table. Just..wtf? I don't want to shit on her ways of dealing with gender dysphoria(GD). I don't know what GD feels like so I'm not in a position to judge coping with it. But pretending to have a period to the point of complaining to me abt it knowing how excruciating they can be to now buying tampons and scattering them all over her house as if it's something to be romantacised is just..odd. Also, tampons are kept in the bathroom not the front door, is this a cry for attention??

I wanted to ask her why she's pretending to have periods in such a way. She is lucky enough to have bottom surgery lined up in the next year, so surely she knows that any surgery she gets will not give her the ability to bleed like that? I don't want to be individualistic or self centred. If this is just a widely accepted way to deal with dysphoria, please check me. Do I ask her if she's okay and what gives, or do I shut the fuck up and mind my business?

I’m 19, and 2 years on T. I still look like a 15 year old. I pass 100% but am assumed to be in high school a lot of the time. At uni I never really get any comments, but I definitely look young. Being 5’4 doesn’t help. I also have some pretty scraggly facial hair that is consistent with teenage boy facial hair.

Has anyone here who looked young at ~2 years on T eventually matured to look their age further down the line?

Some extra info below:

About my dose: I started on a low dose, and am still not on the higher side of normal (585.7ng/dL at last lab). My doc is trying to help me get to a higher dose, but it’s been weird. Newest lab on increased dose had a lower t level than on the previous dose. There are also some other things (hematocrit, etc.) that increase more with the higher dose that we have to keep an eye on. I am getting another test soon to see what we should do. So work in progress in that sector ig.

Minox concerns:
I’m really scared to try minoxidil because I work with animals and am around them all the time. I’m also cautious of oral minox bc I head it can have some cardiovascular effects and I have a pretty significant predisposition to heart issues.

Any advice is welcome

I honestly dont get what is happening with the UK right now.

Hospital wards are based on 'biological sex' (and biological sex isnt even defined). Why the fuck is this a thing?

An MP literally posted that single sex wards have to be by birth sex because her mother was in a mixed sex ward and she had to stay and make sure her mother wouldnt be upset about a trans person on the mixed sex ward.. and it was an emergency ward no less. How the fuck is that even relevant to single sex spaces?? How the fuck are we meant to enforce single sex wards in the emergency department...

And why the fuck are we saying that female wards HAVE to be only those born female. What if theres a trans woman post every surgery, what if there was a trans woman needing gynaecological care. What if there was a trans man past every surgery.

As trans people, literally where are we allowed to go anymore. I cant go on the mens ward because I was born female, I cant go on the female ward because I might 'frighten women', I cant be on a mixed sex ward otherwise an MP might post about me online and make me out to be a predator for needing emergency care.

Do we get shoved in the corridor and ignored? Do we get forced into a side room then told we're 'wasting resources' because we dont NEED side rooms but we're forced into them (seen this comment quite a few times, blaming us for this)? Do we literally just suffer?

Im literally terrified of being alive now. Im THIS close to dropping out of uni because Im studying vetmed and if I get any injuries, Ill be in hospital probably stuffed in a corridor to be ignored - we already have higher rates of medical neglect, why do they want it to be higher.

I seriously cant cope with the country anymore. I thought my 8 years on the waitlist for medical care (then another couple years for medications, then infinite years until getting surgeries.. if I ever get to those stages lol) was insane, but this is genuinely next level.

Do we literally just refuse to go to hospital? I think thats gotta be my plan. If it fucks my body up for the rest of my life, or if it kills me, its tough I guess. I would never be able to survive mentally if I was treated like some kinda freak of nature on those wards.

Im terrified to even go to the GP anymore. This bullshit transphobia everywhere will probably mean Ill get fucked over because there are literally NO protections left for us anymore. I mean, can anyone give an example of what could be deemed 'transphobia' if we have to be referred to as our birth sexes in medical settings, in public spaces like toilets or changing rooms, if our IDs have literally been called fakes in the 'Equality' Act, if the entire gender recognition act is void now that we are to be treated as our birth sexes, if people are allowed to call us 'TIMs/TIFs' or 'biological male/female', if we are allowed to be called paedophiles or predators simply for existing in spaces we're 'meant' to be in (see: mixed sex wards MPs post).

I genuinely just cant. Im so done.

Edit: a trans woman has literally been killed by this (or at least shes one that we know of). She was denied going onto a cancer ward because they were only single sex wards... she was denied going into the space she was 'supposed' to go into... Its fucking heartbreaking. Its literally murder that isnt only allowed, but supported and ENCOURAGED. She was MURDERED because of this fucking law.

This is going to be quite short, as i don't think i cant word this any other way.

I absolutely hate how I, as a transman, behave. It like a freight train of dysphoria runs me over when i conduct myself in any manner that makes me feel feminine. I did all these things, like change my posture, voice train, get into more masculine hobbies, and yet doing all this has begun to feel like I'm trying to prove something to myself.

Everything i do seems to be doing me more harm than good— constantly reminding me that I'm basically being molested by the wrong puberty and that I'm like a poor imitation of what a real man is, its awful and plagues my mind.

Followed by that, its like I dont even see myself as a man whenever I think of myself in the third person, i literally catch myself calling me a she, or referring to myself by my old name.

It's whatever though. The only relief i really get is when im not thinking of myself at all, I dont even take pictures of myself (including during special events) to alleviate my dysphoria. Works decent 😪

I've seen it used in this sub and I've seen a "trans woman" saying she was proud of being one on social media but idk what that is. Can someone help me understand it?

I find it’s super hard to find the right product that suits you especially ones for sex I have had no problem with finding packers all have worked super well but finding one for sex that can give you sensation is difficult.I have tried the peacock inflatable and it suits me good because it can be soft and hard and saves time and gives a gender affirming experience without having to put a strap on but the pleasure system does not work for me I won’t go into detail but I’ve had my fun with it but I want something where I can feel pleasure as-well as my partner.

Preferably I would want something realistic no strap needed maybe just suitable boxers or adhesively attached.reliable pleasure system I have minimal growth maybe about half an inch so something that can work with that.

Anyone got any products they recommend or experiences with different types of products?

Been looking into the Emisil ER05.

its depressing to look at transphobic peoples posts and realise most normal people agree with to some exent they just not rude abt it, its depressing its normised to treat trans woman as their agab its depressing even if can stealth you can always still be seen as your agab if your outted even if you pass, its depressing how outting trans people is seen as acceptible to most cis people even morality encourage it, its depressing how dehumanised trans people, its depressing most cis will never genuinely want understand you or unlearn bio essentism views even if your their friend, its depressing how wanting anything as a trans person is great crime you have to accept your place as a third gender freak, its depressing how intolerant some cis people are while claiming to be supportive, its depressing most cis people think being trans is a mental illness but they just dont want to be rude abt it, its depressing most cis would laugh at you or think your delusional if you called this a medical condition. its depressing it doesnt matter what trans people want cis allies decide for us and dissmiss our genuine needs. its depressing how this post could turn a cis person transphobic because they already mde their mind, its depressing how much trans people have to walk on eggshells because trans people commiting one of the worst social crimes to them and trans people have to constantly apologise for they existance or be doormats to get social acceptance. its depressing how trans people can try their best to be good people but one other person makes them disliked. its depressing how cis can justify 99% of trasns minors not having assess to hrt if means saving a less then one percent of cis woman they will get mild masculinazation at most but 99% of trans get full mulitation and get no empathy for it as well as ruining thier life and forcing them to waste their 20s saving for surgeries they would have never needed if they got treatment at the right time. its depressing how you know you have to hide being trans because you KNOW that cis people will discriminate or treat you differently if your outted and not that a horrible medical condition that ruined your life and you simply dont want out yourself for pravicy reason, its depressing how being trans can always be used against you and never to help you, its depressing we have to accept this is how trans people are treated even if they pass because we have no social power at all, its depressing how little a cis person could do humanise us to their friends or co workers but they dont. its depressing you dont really want question your cis friends abt their options on trans indepth because you know its not going to be good and they most likely arnt going to unlearn any transphobic believes they have so you have to accept this to not lose your friends.

its all depressing

we are born with one of the most unlucky medical conditions that ruins our life and most cis in society have desided we are not worth listening too or empathising with but instead to dehumanise first before they ever even meet one or still chose to keep deep bio essentist believes because their trans friends isnt worth questioning one of humanitys most bashed in ideas before birth. that our suffering is 99% less important than cis people, that it doesnt matter if our lives are fundamentally ruined were mistreated and were were stuck in pain 24/7 every day.

i dont mean to be a doomer but its depressing remembering that those transphobic posts online are probably going to be belived more then any trans person by most people. it feels dystopian being born this way that even if you were to do everything right you are still inhuman or worth less of human being because your trans

most cis people dont hate us but we arnt humans to them in same way other cis people are. its depressing its the norm. its depressing we never actually be equal to them even if you do pass.

I believe there should be more NGOs that help transsexual people afford the surgeries they need, and that provide information on doctors and medical professionals who offer these services—rather than NGOs that just spend their money on marches or "awareness workshops." It’s as if NGOs didn’t already know that mostly people already knows what is homosexuality or bisexuality, or that one should use condoms or take birth control pills; honestly, anyone can offer that kind of advice, and for free.

I hate everything, I’m so fucking miserable everyday. I wish I could be a man but I can’t. I’m 16, I can’t transition. I don’t deserve it anyways, I wish I was more dysphoric so I could be a man. People say I should be happy I’m a cis girl, I’m not, I would only be happy if I was a cis man. At this point, I either find myself attractive but the idea upsets me or I feel absolutely nothing. I wish I was a guy, I wish I felt more like one. I can’t live as a woman, it feels painful and wrong, I’m filled with dread every time I look at myself and then I look at cis men or transitioning trans men and I get sad and jealous. No one sees me as a man or wants me to be one. Everyone wants to make me a girl. I tried to convince myself it was everything but dysphoria or if things were different I wouldn’t feel this way but I know none of that is true, I only ever wanted to be a guy and that’s it. No social motivation, no trauma to make me hate being a girl, I don’t hate women in any way(which is sad you have to clarify this or people will accuse you of it) I just wish I was male. I just fear I don’t want it enough or since men look funny to me, I’m just lying to myself or it’s like I wish I was dysphoric for whatever reason. I don’t know. I’m mentally unwell too, I have severe intrusive thoughts, I fear I do want to be woman and I attempted before because I thought I was becoming a girl. And I’m still denied transition, still denied any type of understanding and support while people who are perfectly happy and arrogant about people with mental problems get to transition while I don’t then they shame me for how I am. I was also raised with so much internalized misandry and transphobia, all I ever hear is about how men are evil, stupid, and incompetent and about trans people that are criminals on the news. All that makes me think I have to be cis and a girl, because I have been taught girls are smarter, better, and more beautiful then men

Now granted, I was only told this once long ago by someone who clearly didn't understand trans issues very much. But I think there might be something worth discussing here regardless. He told me I understand both genders, but the thing is, I don't. And it's mostly due to me being autistic. I often expect people to react one way and they don't. I even often imagine the worst way that something can go and sometimes it gets even worse, other times, not.

For men, I do not understand those that have a sex drive so strong that they do stupid things like send unwanted pics to strangers online or the mindset a few have with acting like they deserve whatever access to women's bodies they want. For women, ever since I started taking HRT back in late 2013, I think I view sexuality closer to a woman's point of view. A point, not the point. I can understand the more emotional view of things. But, more so due to my sexuality than anything else, I don't see what they see in men. I'm often caught off guard by women (but can also happen to men) with such emotional reactions to things. Okay, stereotyping, I know.

Mainly, it's just me being trans doesn't give me magical insight to people or certain aspects of lived experiences based on gender. I can only wonder how things will go down once I start social transitioning. Maybe women will talk to me more, expect me to talk more. And I'm probably not going to be ready for that anytime soon, the reactions I mean. Not that this will stop me from doing what I must.

I cant really trust people who don’t want biological children but also say they don’t want to date trans people then claim theyre not transphobic

Because if you don’t want bio. kids but wont date a trans person all im hearing is “trans men aren’t man enough for me” or “trans women aren’t woman enough for me”

(however i get it if they wouldnt date a pre hrt or pre op trans person because if theyre pre hrt they don’t have the phenotype the person is attracted to and if theyre pre op they don’t have the other parts the person is attracted to)

i’m not trying to say they HAVE to date a trans person, if they don’t want to, they don’t want to, but it kind of reads to me as they don’t see trans men as men and trans women as women, so i’ll kind of be side eyeing iykwim.

​

Dealing with bank bureaucracy while your name change is in that awkward in-between phase is genuinely exhausting.

My legal name change is done and I have my certificate and new ID, but I haven't updated my bank account yet because I still have active transfers running for bills. So every time I go to make a deposit, I have to mentally prepare to explain everything to tellers who can sometimes be difficult.

What makes it even heavier is that I haven't told my dad or family about my name change yet, so carrying that secret around while dealing with official documents adds a whole extra layer of anxiety.

I know I have my paperwork and I've done it before, but the anticipation just makes my stomach tie in knots. Just wanted to vent somewhere that gets how stressful these little institutional hurdles can be.

I'm scare right now, as I'm from a South Asian household, they are too much sometimes, I'm scare

I might get kick out

I did explain my situation on this page once

I can't work yet, as I'm a full time caregiver for my grandma

I just turn 21, and only change my name

I can't be on testosterone yet

All my family members are transphobic

I genuinely don't kneo what to do

I also don't want to lost my dad cause I change my name and wish to began my transition

What do you guys think? Or why do you feel rejected by the wider transgender community and come here?

Also, most truscum trans men, why do you think that is?

We need to build a trans community based on the values and ideas we do have, not the ones that we disagree with. I think the biggest problem with the transmed community is by far the fixation on tucutes. Like most of us, I started my transition journey in mainstream places because I didn't know where else to go. I don't need to go into the details of all the ways these places push both toxic and nonsensical ideas, we all know how they are like. And I eventually decided enough is enough, but only after so much resentment built up. I am a big enough man to admit it, I resent them and that resentment turned into a toxic fixation on them. I can absolutely understand everyone else in the same boat, there's a lot to be angry about. But that doesn't mean the anger is good. Maybe this is more of my personal philosophy, but when you spend your time thinking about people that make you angry, you become more of an angry person.

I know a lot of people on here are college aged or younger. I'm sure that if you're in school it's going to be hard to escape tucutes and their influence. I'm older and the youngest people I work with are mid 20's. I live and work in a very progressive place, so I don't try to keep it a secret that I'm trans. The people around me are more like well meaning progressives who want to be good people in general, but aren't specifically involved or concerned about trans rights. They care about LGBT rights, Gaza, the environment, pushing back on Trump, ect... all about equally. Sometimes they'll ask me questions since I'm (AFAIK) the only trans people here. There's no tucutes at the moment, at least not that I know of, and while the people here might have interacted with them in the past they don't really have much fidelity to tucute ideals. When they ask me about trans issues, I just answer their questions from my honest perspective. I center gender dysphoria as part of the trans experience, I explain it's a medical condition that needs to be treated with surgeries, medications, and lifestyle changes that collectively we call transitioning. I explain that my goal is just to be a normal guy because I have the brain a normal guy and that's just how I function best and happiest. They absorb it, it makes sense to them, I hear them repeating my explanations to other people. I don't mention anything about tucutes, or about the controversy about dysphoria being required for being trans. If they ever bring up these questions (which virtually never happens) I just shrug and say "yeah some people think like that, but I never got where they are coming from". I'm not angry about them, I act like I hardly know them and don't care about them. Because that's the narrative that I want to project; these people aren't worth thinking about.

Tucutes are objectively weird internet people. These people tend to not integrate into society, they don't get jobs as accountants or engineers. They become tattoo artists, warehouse workers, or just live off of disability. You start seeing them IRL in places that are hotbeds for internet culture like universities and queer spaces. Once you graduate and get a job at an office building you stop seeing them and instead start seeing middle aged people who just want to know what to call you. There isn't anyone at my work who is going to #Cancel me for saying that transitioning is about treating gender dysphoria. And that's the kind of person I want to be. The person that doesn't even think about tucutes, and simply exists as a transsexual man.

Also, if you are down for being openly trans and taking questions, I'd highly recommend it as some good advocacy. It's amazing how many of the people around me have had some kind of bad interaction with a tucute in the past. These are the well meaning allies that get called transphobes for not putting a space between "trans" and "woman/man", and when they get to talk to a trans person is just a normal and chill person they absolutely prefer listening to that trans person. These cis allies want to listen to our side, it makes sense to them. They might not understand the whole trans culture wars, but they understand the difference between a chill, normal person who can answer questions calmly and clearly vs an angry person who can't give a straight answer and just calls them transphobes for asking follow up questions.

I originally started DIYing when I was 14, obligatory "back in my days," I was the youngest to have diyed usually in the online places I was in.

It was much harder to DIY because starters, no one had a robust network of knowledge supported by scientific literature for transsexual males. Whereas, take TransDIY for example, the users whom are predominately agps trans women consistently engage in scientific discussion. There is usually even chemists or individuals based in medicine who can offer better breakdowns and interpretations of a topic. Even years-long projects and websites dedicated to collecting relevant research exists. I mean, they long figured out in order to obtain gonadal suppression through HRT, you'll need supraphysiological E2 levels.

Really, my only criticism is that I just wish they held their homebrewers more accountable. Like demanding more CoAs, demanding videos and images of their brewing stations and stop buying from pedophiles (Otokonoko).

This is a stark contrast to how FtMs approach DIY or testosterone in general. It's almost like they fear it, I to this day still have never heard a man say "I just hope my testosterone isn't too high." Whereas this is a spammed phrase by FtMs. They constantly perpetuate the same misinformation and myths, like that 50mg is a standard dosage or that pelvic pain is from atrophy. Some even claim buying vet needles from Amazon is safe.

There is quite literally zero urgency to be correct or knowledgeable in what they're discussing. It's a constant cycle of Reddit or Tiktok regurgitation.

Now with that said, why do you think this is? Is it simply because similar communities to the former are just more analytical and interested in male pursuits?

As for the myths, here's links that directly go into what I'm discussing.
https://hrt4.me/articles/guides/male/#recommended-regimens
https://hrt4.me/library/androgens/tm-dosing/#summary

Currently has 19 citations for the first link. I recommend reading it in it's entirety.

I’m like 14 months on HRT, dysphoric, but I won’t pass even with FFS most likely. I’m 19 and 5’5 but with an extremely wide face that reads as male. I doubt FFS could fix it and I’m not sure if living as what I’d transition into would feel worth it, or if I’d even be able to have a normal life with the way I’d look. (Being stared at, discrimination, mockery etc)