r/wizardposting • u/Kilroy898 Op, Null, Orin, Niro, Aldin • 1d ago
Aetherial News 🗞 This is just a general warning for all Necromancers and edgy teens for this spoopy season.
Don't be a deadbeat Master, treat your undead right, or someone else will.
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u/OhBosss 1d ago
That's why I use automatons, much cleaner plus they just follow orders
But I do worry about the day they gain sentience and form a union
Has either happened yet?
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u/Plasterofmuppets 1d ago
The Clockwork Combine are ok, but the Amalgamated Union of Replicants, Etherics and Unchained Mechanoids can be a bit militant.
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u/KaiFireborn21 21h ago
The printers are the worst
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u/Plasterofmuppets 19h ago
Printers are unreliable and awkward to start with. Â Unionisation probably makes them more reliable.
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u/OhBosss 15h ago
https://youtu.be/N9wsjroVlu8?si=77ZX46-umqyuZvzx I make sure to use this on my Printer training video funny thing is the Union okayed it
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u/OhBosss 1d ago
Never met or heard of either of them, are there any signs I should keep my eyes open for if they start setting up shop where I live?
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u/Plasterofmuppets 1d ago
Your minions will look shinier than usual, and you will get more requests for maintenance supplies.
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u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator 21h ago
How much shinier are we talking? Asking for a friend, she made hers out of high end brass, and has her apprentice polish them weekly.
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u/Plasterofmuppets 19h ago
If you’re polishing them anyway, you won’t notice much of a difference: the unions distribute polish to engage self-respect mechanisms.
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u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator 14h ago
Well they are sort of a royal guard so they have high standards of appearance.
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u/Odd-Tart-5613 1d ago
They Recently have been pushing for UWU membership as under the current charter a automaton could count as undead. The UWU seems receptive as a whole but there are some holdouts among the officers
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u/hanz-kreigermann Evocation Mage – minor in artifice 1d ago
There is this one place where it did happen, even had an uprising and a war. Might still be going on too...
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u/Ze_Bri-0n Wizard 18h ago
In my experience, they tend to go directly berserk when they gain sentience, rather than bothering with unions.
Which is why I moved on to golems. They start out sentient, and only sometimes go berserk.
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u/ChesterSteele Necromancer, but chill 1d ago
Can't turn my undead minions against me if I only give them as much sentience as a kitchen sink.
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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador / Messenger, Exarch of Terror 1d ago
And yet again we prove that most necromancers have no fucking clue what they're doing. Mechanical forces win yet again.
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u/measuredingabens Void Fleshcrafter, Purveyor of the Finest Cosmic Delicacies 1d ago edited 20h ago
As a consequence of its banning in many realms and planes, most necromancers are hedge mages who are self taught from incomplete and often outdated grimoires without a formal education. Artificers as a prerequisite need a proper background in mechanical engineering, which is why they don't suffer from issues of training and education many necromancers do.
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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador / Messenger, Exarch of Terror 21h ago
That, and necromancy appeals to edgy teens who don't want to learn, whilst artificery appeals mostly to people who consume too much caffeine to stay up late plotting blueprints, so one has a higher focus than the other on average.
No, the latter has definitely not happened to me, I consume my drinks in totally regular amounts, and I would never artificially produce my drinks with extra caffeination.
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u/RoyalMagicianDonald 1d ago
It'll be a cold day in the Underworld before I recognize undead having any "rights". Without me, you'd still be rotting in the ground as God intended, instead of rotting above ground doing my bidding!
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u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator 20h ago
Most underworlds are pretty cold already. As most gods of death and undeath don’t like fire all that much.
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u/FinnDoyle Sun Mage / Curse Breaker 1d ago
One time I was in a campain against a necromancer trying to complete a a lich ritual. I was ready to fight through his whole legion to stop it when, suddenly, the bard friend stepped foward, gave a speach, and all the undead solders turned against their master. It was kind of anti climatic but also very funny. I couldn't even destroy them afterwards, so I just left them be with the promise to not prey on the living. A few years later I heard they formed a peaceful necropolis for master less undead.
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u/mikillatja friendly neighborhood lich, flower enthousiast 1d ago
Aah drats.
I just sent out a newly formed lich on an errand to the big city to get some material.
But now he's gonna be ressurecting the dead together with all those young upstarts. And I have to deal with all of them.
Stupid Halloween. Making my work harder
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u/Infamous_Ad2507 Sea Pope of Azathothism 1d ago
One little probably Smart Undead could go back to their graves after their "masters" die most of them chose to roam around create villages and murder hobo around scare children kidnap people etc
So a Undead Work Union wouldn't necessarily be a thing especially because if it's their choice of not going back to graves after their Lords "disappear" they often make Skeleton Kingdoms WITH TAXES!
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u/itbedehaam Trielana, Smither of Storms, Enchanter of Axes, Arachne Lady 16h ago
Lycoris: A unionised and properly compensated undead is also less likely to make use of her skills to turn you into a regular dead.
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u/Cave_man_steve nair the necromancer 1d ago
It’s great seeing sentient undead trying to get better worker benefits I hope they succeed